A Dom's Dilemma (17 page)

Gratefully, she stayed in subspace through to the end. When he called seventy-five, breath out, she remained still. He placed the paddle down and checked her pulse. Her eyes were closed and her forehead smooth. Momentarily oblivious to her surroundings, she was flying high. He didn’t move and barely breathed himself. She didn’t appear cold, and had stopped sweating a while back. She was actually as peaceful and comfortable as she could be given the circumstance.

Her backside was a deep purple now, and slowly turning darker as he watched. She might not be feeling any discomfort at that moment, but when her nerves came awake they would be screaming with pain. Less than a minute later, he heard an indrawn gasp and she opened her eyes.

“Is it over?” she asked softly.

“All done,” he answered keeping his voice low and quiet. She gave a slight shiver, so he carefully pulled down the navy velour blanket he kept draped on the couch, and placed it over her back and shoulders, taking care not to let the material touch her deeply inflamed backside. She closed her eyes again. She wasn’t requiring special comforting at this time, although he hadn’t intended to offer any, at least not yet, since he wanted this event to stand out as the most terrible punishment she’d ever had. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t provide what aftercare she did need.

They weren’t out of the woods, yet, since she could still go into shock. He believed he had made this ordeal as easy as possible for her to endure without lessening its impact. However, the downside to this was that she would be feeling that impact very, very soon.

He decided earlier that she should stay in his guest bedroom. She’d rest more easily without his tossing about or snoring to disturb her. The proximity between the two bedrooms kept her close enough for him to periodically check her vitals and monitor her condition without disturbing her. He would also be close enough to come to her aid if she required help during the night. And given the color of her buttocks now, he figured she would.

For now he waited and listened to her breathing, deeply aware of the way her slim tummy and hips lay draped across his lap in relative peacefulness. Then her stomach muscles tensed and she gave a little whimper, and he knew those throbbing nerve endings were starting to wake up. She probably needed a shower, but water hitting the flesh on her backside would most likely set her to climbing the ceiling up onto the roof tonight. So, he would get her settled as quickly as possible in the guest room then leave her be.

When she let out another whimper, this one stronger and more urgent, he could delay no longer. “I’m gonna help you up. I know you’re startin’ to hurt now, but I want you to take a deep breath, then rise up off the couch with me.” Another whimper was his only acknowledgement.

He first removed the blanket, then gripping her shoulders, he eased her to her knees, and received a small sob in response. Next he stood and put an arm under and around hers as he helped her to her feet, taking care nothing touched the area throbbing in tempo with her heartbeat.

She started breathing hard, like an animal so deeply in pain it couldn’t move. But he needed to get her settled before she passed out. “Slow and easy breaths,” he commanded, except a second, more urgent whimper told him peaceful time was over. Large tears filled her eyes when she looked at him and he could see torment etched on her lovely features as she stared wide-eyed at him as though she feared she might die.

“I’ve got you,” he said, keeping a firm grip on her arms. “Do you want to walk, or would you like me to carry you?” She didn’t seem capable of answering. Instead, her panting grew more intense as the wild look of agony on her face told him her pain was steadily getting worse. Deciding picking her up might cause her more discomfort, he moved his hands to her arms and directed her into the guest bedroom. Once they stood by the bed, he removed the blanket he’d placed over his shoulder, and tossed it to the other side of the mattress, then drew back the covers so she could lie on the cooler sheets.

“All right, now. I’m gonna help ease you into bed.” But he halted at the sudden panicked glaze in her eyes and the vehement shake of her head. “You cannot stand here all night, Kelly. You need to lie down.”

He started to move her, but she gripped his wrists. “Please.” The word was a heart borne plea for mercy murmured in the midst of a rivulet of tears. They stood that way for a few minutes. Her grip on his wrists almost desperate as she breathed in and out in rapid succession through her nose while tears rushed down her cheeks like tiny waterfalls.

After a moment, he shook his head. He feared she would go into shock if he didn’t get her prone soon. All the blood was rushing down to her rapidly swelling backside. And her pain wasn’t going to get any more manageable with them standing there. It was only going to get worse. “Kelly!” he snapped, hoping to trigger her automatic submissive reflexes. “Step forward with me now!” Although her look of fear hadn’t vanished, he was pleased she obeyed him without further argument and let him turn her so she faced the bed. She’d have to lie on her stomach.

“Bend!” he barked wanting to get her top half down on the bed first. Pushing down on her shoulders he got her into a ninety degree angle. The bed was built to BDSM specification that would better enable spankings as well as lovemaking, so it met Kelly at the juncture of her thighs, which was perfect.

“Ahhh!” Kelly protested with a wail of misery and agony as the skin and muscles of her inflamed buttocks stretched.

“Release,” he commanded, pleased when she obediently let her front half drop down on the bed, even though she’d started to keen from the pain. “Yes, I know it hurts,” he said lifting her legs out straight. Then placing one arm beneath her knees and the other under her ribcage, he carefully shifted her position so her head rested on the pillow. She cried out then like a hurt and terrified child.

Once he’d gotten her laid out, working as quickly as he could with as little movement as possible, he grabbed the blanket he’d used earlier and covered her shoulders. “Try to rest,” he ordered, turning out the light and leaving the room.

The sun still showed brightly through the curtains, since it wasn’t even five o’clock, yet. But from the sobs coming out of the next room, he suspected she wouldn’t want dinner, so he wouldn’t attempt to feed her any. He gripped his hands together. She’d been wrong, he punished her for it, and that was that. He wasn’t a monster for imposing a well-deserved discipline. So, why did he feel like Torquemada putting an innocent woman on the rack?

Kelly Franklin was no innocent. She had brought this punishment on herself by willfully disobeying him. He had promised her the torment of the damned, and rightly given it to her. She needed to pay for her crimes. The crime of seeking him out at work, despite his every stern warning against it. The crime of leaping up and kissing him without permission, then attacking him when he’d accidentally pushed her to the floor. The crime of wanting to be with him.

Crap.
He lowered his head to his hands and listened to her sobs. He would have made one hell of a lousy inquisitor, and he was beginning to think he made an equally lousy Dom. He’d wanted to teach her a lesson. He needed her to know there were consequences for disobeying him. So, why did her tears eat at his conscience like tiny drops of acid?

He surged to his feet and strode toward his front door. He’d take a walk. No, he couldn’t leave her. Not like this. Abandoning a hurt sub totally went against his nature. Problem was he couldn’t idly sit by and listen to her cry, either. He had to do something. But what?

Aspirin increased blood flow, so that could do more harm than good. Ibuprofen worked in a similar way to aspirin, so it was out, too. Giving her a few hours respite wouldn’t negate everything he sought to accomplish, and no matter what she’d done, she didn’t deserve to be tortured for it. Unfortunately, that was exactly what he was doing by ignoring her. Nothing he gave her would completely eliminate her pain, which he didn’t want anyway. What he needed was something that would help take the edge off her agony and ease its bite without negating the punishment itself. Deciding on Acetaminophen with a sleeping aid, he strode to his medicine cabinet, took two pills and returned to the guest room carrying a glass of water.

* * * *

Kelly didn’t want to cry and moan, but she was so sore she was afraid to move, and he’d left her. Placing her face in the pillow she began to sob and couldn’t seem to stop. She hurt, yes. God, she hurt more than she ever hurt before in her life, but Jim’s sudden aloofness cut her more deeply than his paddle ever could. She thought he’d stay with her, talk to her, even soothe her a little, not just leave her to suffer. She heard the sound of his boots striking the wood floor as he came back, and tried to stop wailing into her pillow, but once the floodgates opened, she couldn’t get them closed again.

Through her tears and misery, she saw him set a glass of water and two blue pills on the table to her left. She never imagined pain like this before. Even the distant memories of a whip slicing into her back seemed more merciful than the pounding pain she currently suffered. He’d tried to warn her, but she hadn’t understood. Not really. Even so, she suspected the reason this paddling seemed so much worse had more to do with the man who’d dispensed it, than the instrument he’d wielded.

Lightly stroking her hair, he crouched down so his face was even with hers. “Kelly, I need you to calm down, and take a couple of deep breaths for me. All right?”

“I can’t,” she wailed knowing she sounded like a child, but unable to help herself.

“Yes, you can. And I expect you to do it, because I ask it of you.”

Oh God.
She so badly wanted to do what he asked, which surprised her in a way. She never felt a desire to please Mike after he’d punished her. All she’d wanted to do then was crawl away and lick her wounds. But everything in her wanted to crawl toward Jim to beg his forgiveness, not away. Because when push came to shove, this punishment had been her fault. With a silent promise never to doubt his word again, she gasped in a breath of air.

“Good girl,” he praised, his hands moving to her shoulders. “Now another one.”

She stared at him. “You’re still angry, aren’t you?” she asked between sobs.

He shook his head. “I’m only bein’ stern so you’ll do what I say, even though it’s hard for you. I want you to take these pills, which you can’t do if you’re sobbin’, so I need you to calm down and do as I say. If you can’t, I’m gonna call Kyle and ask him to bring over somethin’ stronger.”

She grabbed his wrist. She didn’t want anyone else to see her like this. It was bad enough Jim saw her completely falling apart. “No. Please, Sir. No visitors.”

When he arched an eyebrow, she knew she’d overstepped again, but he didn’t call her on it. “Then settle down for me, now,” he insisted in a calm, firm voice. “Are you allergic to any meds … aspirin or the like?”

She managed a slight shake of her head.

He indicated the pills he’d left on the nightstand. “These are analgesics with a sleep aid. Would they be a problem for you?”

“No, Sir,” she answered, her voice a mere whisper.

“Good. Now go ahead and raise up a bit so you can swallow ‘em down.”

She tried to arch her back, but even that small movement had her crying out as lances of red-hot agony pierced her buttocks. She flopped down to her pillow and stared at him, unsure what to do. He grabbed some tissue from the nearby table and patted her cheeks dry. Then he stood up. “Your face is real warm and red right now, so I’ll get a washcloth to help cool it down some.”

She started to say no, but he’d already left before she could say anything, so she pressed her face back into the pillow and sobbed.

Within a few seconds, he was back at her side. “Turn and look at me,” he commanded in a tone she knew better than to disobey.

“Good girl.” He carefully wiped down her face with cool water, then ran the cloth over the back of her neck. “Good,” he said as her sobbing lessened.

“Okay, arch back up and open your mouth.”

Once again she did as he ordered, and managed to hold the position, though it hurt like hell to do it.

“I know you’re hurtin’,” he said, popping the pills into her mouth, then giving her water to help swallow them. She managed to gulp down the pills without choking, then laid her head back down.

“I’m gonna give you a fresh pillow that isn’t quite so water-logged, then I’ll leave you be for a bit. I’ll check back in about a half-hour or so to see how you’re doin’. Those pills might even help you sleep for a bit. So, don’t fight ‘em.”

She wanted to beg him not to leave her, but she couldn’t form the words. He replaced her pillow, gave her another gentle stroke, then stood and left the room.

* * * *

Jim left Kelly to go into the kitchen. Not to get something to eat, but to put some distance between them for a while. The Dom in him wanted to comfort her so badly, yet part of the punishment had to be a withdrawal of his companionship for a period of time, because that’s what she wanted most. She hadn’t begged him, though he wasn’t sure what he’d do if she had. She looked so fragile and hurt that it took all his willpower not to kiss and reassure her.

He clenched his hands into fists and stared out his kitchen window. The paddling had been necessary. He needed her to understand the consequences for disobeying his direct orders. And she had to learn when he promised something, no matter how distasteful, he would carry it out. So, why did he feel like the bastard she’d accused him of being earlier?

He needed a drink, but hesitated to take one. Not when she was in so much pain. He expected it would be bad, but now he felt even worse than she did.

The sounds of sobbing slowly lessened and within fifteen minutes he heard only an occasional gasp for breath. She was calming down, finally. He waited the full half-hour, and when he checked on her she was asleep. He crouched down, but hesitated to touch her for fear of waking her. So, he checked her out visually. Breathing natural, face color still on the pink side, but calming down. Position relaxed. He couldn’t do much else without touching her, so he rose and left her alone.