A Dragon's Heart (4 page)

L
exie sat
on the bench where Perry had left her, heart pounding, breath irregular, for a long moment.

She couldn’t believe what had just happened. She was attracted to Perry in that warm, calm way that had grown out of friendship and mutual respect in their weeks of working together and her seeing how dutiful the dragons were in handling their business.

Perry was always in control, and if he was a little cold, it was generally because he had a lot on his mind to deal with.

She sighed and rested her cheek on her hand. When he’d come close like that, she’d been so immediately heated by him. Like behind that cold exterior, there was a bright silver flame just fighting to break free.

And now she’d never get to see what that was like.

Tor was more open. It was easier to picture how he’d be in the bedroom. But apparently, she should stop doing that because it was bothering him. Why didn’t he just tell her himself? Why did he have to send Perry?

She knew he’d been getting grumpier lately. Ever since the hunt for a mate had commenced. But he’d still found time to tease and torment her, and she’d still found time to think of him and Perry in her fantasies. But that would have to stop.

Perry had made it clear it would only hurt all of them.

Though she wasn’t sure how, since they would go on to find a mate and she would forget anything that happened once they took her memory of being here.

It was a sad thought, but just how things had to be.

She didn’t know why she was impossible for them to consider as a mate, but it seemed complicated in a way she shouldn’t interfere with.

Besides, the men were hot, but did she really want a life with them? Living here in the middle of nowhere, having to send them out every day to do dangerous things?

The cool wind around her whistled over the beautiful, ancient grounds and told her the answer.

She’d love to stay here, if she could.

Just then a whoosh of air signaled something approaching. She looked up to see Tor appearing out of the air, walking forward sullenly in human form.

When he looked up and saw her, he was still at the far gate, a good ways away. But she still felt the air crackle between them, almost dangerously.

Maybe Perry was right. Maybe she should put a stop to this. Their flirtation.

Tor’s eyes fell to the jacket over her shoulders. Clearly Perry’s. Perry loved to always be in some kind of tailored suit that showed off his slim, tall frame and sophisticated features. Perry had a kind of beauty that was enigmatic.

And it perfectly contrasted Tor, with his roughness and strength and pure size.

His handsome, raw features.

She actually saw him react to her thoughts, flushing slightly as he walked toward her.

She wrapped the coat tighter around her, catching a hint of Perry’s scent. Icy cold, peppermint and arctic water and plants. And as Tor came closer, eyes narrowing at the coat on her shoulders, she scented him as well. Pure fire. Cinnamon, cloves, heat.

The mix was intoxicating, and she wanted more than ever to see what it was like to have them at the same time.

Tor grinned and shook his head, standing at his full, intimidating height and looking down at her. “There you go again, thinking about things that tempt me.”

She flushed. “I know. Perry just told me I should stop. That it bothers you. I’ll try to do better.”

He cocked his head, perplexed. His short, dark hair was ruffled from wind, and she knew he’d probably been out for a flight to burn energy. If he wasn’t down at the gym, sweating out stress, he was in the sky, flying it out.

“What do you mean bothers me?” he asked, looking genuinely confused and little unhappy.

“I mean the thoughts. Perry said you said it was driving you crazy.” She shrugged. “I thought it was just harmless flirtation. You know, a little revenge for the way you tease me. But if it’s unwanted… I’ll stop.”

He let out a little growl and plopped down next to her on the bench. Then he reached over and pulled her onto his lap, ignoring her struggles and settling her there.

He tilted her chin up to his. His blue eyes were clear and striking in his light, olive-toned face. His dark hair and brows just accentuated his expressions. “What makes you think it was unwanted?”

“I know nothing can happen between us,” she said, trying to push away from him, but not really wanting to be let go. His incredibly warm, strong thighs felt amazing beneath her, and she liked being encircled in his arms.

As much as he liked to tease her, she had come to see him as a friend.

She knew darn well the dragons had saved her life.

“I know that, too,” he said, nuzzling the top of her hair. It was shocking because everything up until now had been a back and forth, a play fight that was stimulating on both sides, even as they pretended to hate each other.

But here in Tor’s lap, she couldn’t deny feeling just how right it all was. How perfectly she fit in his arms.

“But if it’s so impossible,” Tor asked, “then why have I felt bound to you almost from the first moment we met?” He let out a breath. “I never thought bringing you in would be this risky. We have never been tempted to bond against our will with a female. We’ve had partners, casual ones, and everyone got what they wanted on their end and then went their own way. But it was empty, and so Perry and I stayed alone for a long time after that.”

He ran a hand over the top of her hair. “But I have a feeling with you, it would be different.”

She looked up at him, heart hammering in her chest. “You do?”

He nodded. “I do.” He pulled one of her hands up to his lips and kissed it. “It’s driving me crazy thinking about it. About how good it would be together. Every time I see it in your mind. I love how you care about Perry, too, how you include him. Not everyone is so open-minded.”

“It’s impossible not to care about Perry,” she said quietly. “He’s always trying to do the right thing.”

Tor nodded. “Even when he came to talk to you, I’m sure. Although, I can scent him. Even when I saw you, I knew Perry had been tempted when he came here with you. It makes me feel a little better that I’m not the only one who’s ready to lose control.”

She felt vulnerable as she looked up into his deep-blue eyes. “Tor, why is it impossible? You need a mate. Why can’t it be me?”

Tor closed his eyes as if in pain and then stared at her solemnly. “I really would rather not say. I don’t want you torturing yourself over it. I’ve gotten to know you, and you’re a really good person. So even if you aren’t a dragon mate, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are who you are, and I don’t want you feeling ashamed of any of it.”

She sighed. “That’s just what Perry said. But I don’t see why I can’t know the truth.”

Tor looked forward with a sigh. “The truth is we can’t be together, not permanently. And Perry is right, and anything else wouldn’t be fair to you because it would just be using you.”

She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Or I would be using you.”

He cocked his head. “What do you mean?”

“I’m the one who would get to forget. Maybe we could all see just how good it would be together, but then when you find your mate and it’s safe for me to leave, we forget the whole thing.”

Tor was quiet for a moment, and she loved how handsome his face looked when he was serious and still like that. His perfect, carved lips, his slightly crooked nose, his handsome jaw and brow. His thick hair.

He was masculinity personified, and she badly wanted a piece of it, regardless of what happened afterward.

After all, if she was going to have to forget this magnificent world, then why not enjoy every part of it?

“I get what you’re saying,” Tor said. “But just because you forget we wronged you, it doesn’t mean we didn’t wrong you.”

“And how are you wronging me?” she asked. “Would I not be getting pleasure? Would I not be enjoying it?”

Tor grinned, flashing white, straight teeth. “Oh, you would be enjoying it. Dragons are obsessed with giving their partner pleasure. Perry and I even get a little bit competitive about it sometimes.” He flashed a fang. “Just for fun.”

Then he got serious again. “But if we were to start sleeping together, and then you had to help us find a mate, it wouldn’t be fair to you. That would be hurtful, and even if you forgot it later, I wouldn’t be able to forget we hurt you, just for a moment of pleasure.”

She nodded and thought about it. Yes, it would hurt. But she didn’t see how things could just keep going as they were. She was attracted to the dragons, and they were attracted to her. They could give her maybe the most pleasure she could ever hope to have in her life.

And she cared for them and felt they cared for her. Even if they couldn’t hold on to that forever, shouldn’t they enjoy it while they could? The pain would be worth it while it lasted and then hopefully forgotten.

“I know it would be difficult and complicated, but I also think maybe it would be worth it,” she said. “After all, we haven’t even found one potential dragon mate yet. Who knows when that will happen? Meanwhile, we’re all trapped in the same house and attracted to each other.”

“I know I flirt, but I can control myself,” Tor said, looking indignant as he sat a little straighter. She giggled at the fact that he had pulled her into his lap impulsively yet was acting like being impulsive was beneath him.

“But what if I don’t want you to control yourself?” she asked. “What if I’m okay with just having you and Perry the way other women did? Would Perry be okay with it then?” she asked.

Tor was quiet for a moment, his hands running over hers as she thought it over.

“I know I’m not a proper dragon mate, but am I really so below other women that I can’t even have what the casual lovers had?” she asked.

Tor shook his head slowly, brushing hair back behind her ear and making her tingle. “No, of course not. You aren’t below anyone. We just care about you. But if that’s really what you want, I can ask Perry.”

“When?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Now,” he said. “You know we can communicate with thought.”

“Oh, right,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s going to drive your mate crazy.”

“Maybe,” he said. “Maybe she’ll be able to do it, too.”

The thought stung Lexie slightly, but she pushed it aside. There would be lots of things that hurt when the dragons finally found the woman that was right for them.

But the dragons didn’t want her to think about it as her own flaw, so she decided to try and stick to that.

She wasn’t right for them; that didn’t mean she wasn’t right for anyone.

Even if she did sort of want to be right for them.

She had a feeling making love to them would only make it stronger.

Tor was silent, and she felt nervousness rise in her, as she knew they were wordlessly communicating about her.

About sex with her. A temporary, physical arrangement.

She felt Tor’s body tense and could tell an argument was going on. Not for the first time, she wished she could see what was going on inside their heads.

Her pulse began to race, and she realized she was tired of waiting. She’d seen the effect she’d had on Perry. She knew he wanted her more than he wanted to admit, and she was tired of him hiding up in his room from all of their feelings.

If they had to spend another few weeks together, they had to at least be able to talk.

Especially if he was going to get up in her grill and turn her on like he had a moment ago.

She stood and pushed away from Tor, walking up the front walk and into the mansion.

“What are you doing?” Tor asked, following behind easily as she speed-walked up the steps to their room. She knew where it was; she often saw them come in and out of it.

She knew Perry would be in there, pacing in front of the window or perhaps typing something up at the desk.

She reached for the door and, in Tor’s typical style, didn’t knock before pulling it open.

She faced Perry with folded arms just as Tor bumped into her and then stopped.

Perry was in front of the partially open window, the top buttons of his crisp shirt unbuttoned, his loose silver hair fluttering in the wind. He narrowed his eyes at her and walked forward with hands in his pockets.

“We talked about you controlling yourself with Tor, and that results in him arguing with me about taking you?” Perry asked with some tightly controlled emotion lacing his voice, making him sound dangerous.

She nodded, unable to be deterred. She folded her arms and cocked a hip, aware of Tor behind her, just inside the door, and Perry in front of her, only a few steps away. They were both so tall, and the idea of being sandwiched between them was that much hotter because of it.

“Turn off your thoughts,” Perry said sharply. “We need to talk about this with logic.”

She threw up her hands. “There’s nothing logical about it. I want you. I want Tor. And you wanted me when we were outside. I felt it. I scented it.”

His eyes widened slightly, and she noticed the silver there looked stormy, overshadowed, as if he were overwhelmed by thoughts.

“I thought if I made it clear that I accept the consequences, we could all agree to be adults and just enjoy what is clearly going to happen at some point between us,” she said. “It would kill a lot of the tension and make it more peaceful around here. And I like to think it would be good.”

Perry was quiet, just staring at her in a way she hated because she didn’t know what he was thinking.

“But I made the mistake of thinking I was a woman you wanted and trusted, not someone you think of as no more than a helpless person who can’t make her own decisions about who to sleep with.” Hurt by the silence around her and her own pounding heart in response to their nearness when they didn’t seem nearly as affected, she turned back to the door where Tor had moved out of the way.

She needed to be alone with her humiliation.

But just as she reached for the door to go through it, it swung forward with a slam, though no one had touched it.

She whirled around to see Perry coming forward, carefully rolling up his sleeves, silver eyes glowing in anticipation. His hair lifted gently around him, looking somewhat magical.