A Dragon's Honor (7 page)

“Emotions
and feelings are all useless,” he scoffed.

“But
felt, nonetheless,” Raven said gently. “Talk to me.”

“Fine,”
he grumbled. “My mother died when I was young. I think I was five—much too
young to understand the shifter inside me.”

“What
happened to her?” Raven asked.

Raul
looked at her. “You know, I never really knew what happened. I think some of
those memories I blocked out because all I can remember is one day she was with
me in the kitchen at the hearth and the next she was gone. My father crumpled
into himself. The proud man who was one of the twelve warriors became a shell.
Hawke came to my home one day, felt the chill in the air, and saw that the fire
had not been lit for a long while. I was living off stale bread and whatever I
could scrounge up while my father sat staring at nothing.”

“Oh,
Raul, that must have been devastating for a child. That would be like losing
both parents,” Raven murmured.

Raul
smiled sadly. “I was adept at climbing trees, so I never went to bed hungry. My
belly would be filled with apples and star fruit. Hawke chastised my father,
though he barely listened and then he just told Hawke to take the boy, that he
had no use for me anyway.” Raven gasped. Raul had no idea why the story was
coming out of him like the floodgates of a dam had been opened.

“Hawke
lifted me in his arms and walked towards the court. Over his shoulder I could
see my father walking out of the village and I knew he was heading towards the
forbidden lands. I wanted to scream at him and yell for him to stop, you will
be killed, but somehow I knew even then that that was what he wanted. He wanted
to die. Now the
Shen
abominations say they have him
hostage, that they have had him for over fifty years. Which means that as I
grew up, he was surviving in the barrens before he was captured. There are so
many questions and no answers. Hawke does not want me to go after him on my
own. He’s angry at my father still, for finding me uncared for and for him
taking the less honorable way out.”

“But
it’s not his decision on how you should feel. I understand he wants to protect
you from pain, but maybe this is a way for you to finally put this to rest,”
Raven said. “When they come, I’m sure they will help you find your father and
settle this once and for all.”

Raul
looked at her. “What if they decide the risk is too great and the
Shen
are using a hoax to pull us warriors into a trap?”

“Then
you follow your heart; it will never lead you wrong,” Raven replied.

“I’m
not one who listens to my heart. My honor drives me, and not much else,” Raul
explained.

She
cupped his cheek. “Then maybe you should start. Your honor is tied directly to
your heart, so I think you’ve been listening to only what you want to hear this
entire time.”

Raul
pulled her into his arms. “I need to kiss you, to focus on something other than
the storm that awaits me.”

He
gave her a chance to refuse, but when she didn’t pull away his head descended
and he kissed her deeply. Raven opened her mouth with a soft moan that fueled his
ache of need even more. Her tongue tentatively made a foray into his mouth and
he twined his with hers encouraging her to taste deeper. When she speared her
tongue hungrily into his mouth, Raul growled. In a swift move, he pulled her
beneath him on the sofa and pressed his body against hers. Their kiss became
ravenous and her fingers dug into the soft fabric of his sweater as they
kissed. He wanted to pull his sweater off and feel her nails dig into his skin.
He wanted to feast on her, on every part of her body, until she came in his
mouth and he was immersed in her essence. He wanted to mate with her forever. A
knock on the door broke his thoughts and the pleasure-filled haze around them.
Raul intended to ignore it, but the knock became more insistent. Raul cupped
her breast through her knit dress and she whimpered, arching into his hand.
“Mr. Raul, sir? It’s room service,” the voice called, and he growled his
frustration.

“Raul,
you have to answer the door,” she whispered and struggled to move beneath him.

He
pushed himself up and stalked to the door while she sat up and brushed her hair
back from her face. She looked sexy and disheveled and Raul wanted to drag the
cart in and slam the door in the waiter’s face. Then he would go back and love
her hard until they were both limp and sated.

Raul
opened the door a bit harder than he meant to. “Your meal sir,” the waiter
said, pushing the cart inside. “We’ll be happy to get you anything else you
need. Just call down anytime. The manager requested we bring up this wonderful
wine to go with your dinner and fresh fruit to go with dessert.”

“Thank
you,” Raul replied, opening the drawer on the accent table close to the door.
He pulled a twenty out and handed it to the waiter who beamed with pleasure
before saying his goodbyes and closing the door softly behind him.

“Thank
you for thinking of food. I forgot all about it, but I am hungry,” Raven
admitted, moving to the dining table where Raul pushed the cart and took the
covered plates off the tray.

“I
am too,” Raul replied, but he didn’t mean for food.

She
met his gaze. “There’s something between us, but I have to follow my heart,
Raul. I can’t give into you knowing you can’t commit to me in return.”

He
sighed. “I know, but that doesn’t mean I don’t ache for you.”

“I
feel the same way,” she murmured and sat down.

They
ate in silence and Raul fought through his tumultuous thoughts. Raven was his only
real anchor through all of this, which he admitted was strange, because he used
to be happy on his own, but Raven had somehow firmly affixed herself within
him. He wondered if walking away was even an option when all of this was over
and she was once again safe. The thought of saying goodbye terrified him, but
then these feelings he felt scared him even more. Raul didn’t know what to do.
He wanted to love her, but his entire being opposed such an idea.

Chapter
Six

Raven
lay in bed looking up into the darkness. Slivers of moonlight came through the
clouds and into the windows, streaking across the ceiling. She was far from
sleepy. Her thoughts were on the man in the next room and thinking about him
didn’t elicit a drowsy state. Far from it, her body hummed with an energy that could
only be described as acute arousal. Her sex throbbed just thinking about his
kiss, how hard and lean his body was when he was on top of her, pressing her
into the cushions of the sofa. What would it feel like to be naked beneath him
and to feel his manhood penetrate her and take her?

She’d
never been with a man, thanks to her strict control not to sink into a
relationship that would go nowhere. Did she set her standards too high and
would it mean she would never get to experience pleasure? Raul was in the
middle of a war and personal turmoil. How could she expect him to be with her
and say those words she longed to hear? Raven admitted to herself that she did want
Raul. She wanted him to love her and say they would never part. But she was a
twenty-three-year-old virgin who wanted a prince charming to sweep her off her
feet. Maybe that was a childish hope, a way to gain control of a life that was
always on the move. She loved her mother, and had loved the life she was given,
seeing new places and being a part of great discoveries from the past, but
sometimes Raven had longed to have a bedroom and girlfriends to talk about boys
with.

Her
mother never spoke to her of womanhood or puberty. The only reason she wasn’t
terrified when her first period started was because she had heard other local
girls speaking of what it was. And books, lots of books, taught her about her
body and what to expect. By the time it came, she had bought her own tampons
from a store in Peru just to be ready. That’s how her whole life had been. She
took control of everything because her mother was always busy.

Raven
sat up suddenly. She was not going to walk away from this. In the next bedroom
lay a virile man who could morph into a dragon. He told her about a world where
there was no hate or famine or war. He was part of a sect of warriors who
protected humans selflessly and did not look for recognition. When Raul kissed
her, she forgot who she was. She was tired of focusing on her studies. Her body
needed to be nurtured as well. She wanted to be loved and made love to. Raul
was it for her, and, by God, she was not going to lose out on the only man who
made her body sing with pleasure. Of course, there was the problem of him not
understanding love. His mother died and his father gave up.
He
was raised by men who taught him honor and duty, but didn’t explain that love
didn’t have to hamper
him. It could enhance him and make him a better
man. Fighting for honor was one thing, but having love would make him
invincible. Raven scrambled out of bed and rushed out of the room. Without even
knocking she rushed into the room where Raul lay and climbed up on the bed.

He
sat up and looked at her curiously as she knelt at the foot of his bed. “Raven,
what’s wrong?”

“Okay,”
she took a deep breath, “so all my life I’ve been trying to control…well,
everything. I love my mom and all she has taught me, but sometimes as a child I
longed for a home, you know what I mean? I didn’t have a room or a normal bed,
no girlfriends to talk about boys with or go to prom—”

“Isn’t
prom that thing where teenagers go and dance and make out, as you humans say?”
Raul asked.

She
hit him on the chest excitedly. “Exactly. I never had any of that. Instead, I
focused on school and then more school. I was going to excel in everything my
mother did and more. In that time, I forgot about myself and put stipulations
on relationships that ended them all. Well, two. I had two relationships that
ended.”

“How
did you end them?” Raul asked. “This is all very enlightening, but I fail to
see where it’s going.”

“I’m
a virgin, Raul. I’ve never been with a man in a sexual way,” Raven explained.
“I controlled that too; I controlled who had my body and I felt no one should
unless there was a solid commitment between us. That was my way of seeking some
kind of permanence in my life. Then there
is
you…”

“Me?”

Raven
sighed. “Yes, you, Raul, who makes me feel so many things with just one kiss.
You make my body feel like it is on fire, but then you also make me feel so
safe when you hold me in your arms. You swooped out of the sky and crashed
through a house to save me. You’ve told me about a world that is outside the
one I know. I want to see your home, explore it with you, and find things maybe
not even your kind knew was there. But most of all, I want to feel everything
your kisses offer. I want to share your bed and hopefully, someday, your
heart.”

“But
what if that never happens,
Raven
? What if I can never
say those words you need to hear?” Raul asked softly.

Raven
shrugged. “Then it wasn’t meant to be, but I’m finished with limiting my life
so much. I’ll cherish what we share and what you show me for the rest of my
life.”

“I
don’t know if I can allow you to settle for less than what you aspire to,” Raul
said hesitantly.

Raven
crawled over to him and pressed him back against the pillows. She had no doubt
he could stop her if he wanted to, but he lay back willingly like a lion in the
sun. His eyes never left hers and his desire was clear on his face. No, he
wouldn’t refuse her, because she was not going to deny herself any longer.

“It’s
not yours to decide, Raul, it’s mine, and I want to be loved by you. Make love
to me,” she said and pressed her lips against his.

Raul
groaned and rolled her beneath him, taking control of the kiss and her body.
Raven succumbed to the pleasure. This was right, so very right in every
possible way.

He
lifted his head and said softly, “You are so very beautiful. Do you really want
me, Raven?”

She
whipped her nightshirt over her head without hesitation. “Show me everything.”

Raul
didn’t hesitate and took her lips in a wild kiss. Raven moaned as his tongue
slipped into her mouth and she could still taste the wine he had at dinner. His
hands were so big and the heat of his touch seemed to sink into her skin, down
to her bones. He trailed fire everywhere he touched. His caress traced down her
leg and then up to her hips before going to her breasts while he ravished her
mouth.

“I
want to taste every inch of you,” his voice was low and rough.

His
lips trailed down her jaw and neck to her shoulder and he moaned when Raven’s
hand went down to cup him through his boxers. Raul moved her hands away and
pinned them above her head. “Not yet,
Shaloh
,
let me pleasure you first.”

“What
does that word mean?” she whispered and gasped as he bit the skin at her neck
softly.

“It’s
the language of my people, a dialect humans could never translate. It simply
means my heart,” Raul replied.

Raven
met his gaze which was filled with desire and much more. “But wouldn’t that
make you uncomfortable if I were in your heart?”