A Dream Forbidden (Lillith Mercury ) (19 page)

Kat wiped her eyes as she continued. "It hurts me to watch the way Dracula watches you. Every time I see it I want to scream at you, 'can't you see you're killing him?' That's not something I would say if I didn't mean it, Lilith. You know that. We're like family, but family should be honest with each other. You're not cruel to Dracula, but it kills me to see what you deny him."

"Kat, I had no idea."

"He hides it from you. Every time you look at him he wears a mask, and I'm not talking about the one that covers half his face."

I didn't know what to say. It wasn't that Kat couldn't be deep. I just hadn't expected this level of emotion. I just sat there and cried. I rested my head on the pillow in Kat's lap and she toyed with my hair till I calmed down.

"I didn't mean to upset you," she said finally. "But I think it's time you took Mathias's advice."

"But I feel like I'm cheating on Marco," I said.

"I don't know what to tell you, Lil. He agreed to it and if you don't do something I think Dracula might die of grief. He grieves for you when you're not with him."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I've been around him when you weren't there. Believe me, it's a different experience entirely," she said.

"When have you been around him without me?" I asked and I sounded like a jealous bitch.

"Do you remember when you danced with Bade on opening night at Original Sin?" she asked. Apparently Kat was going to ignore how bitchy I sounded.

"Yeah."

"Well, I sat at the table with Dracula and watched him. He acted like he was at a funeral. Marco might be upset by this, and I'm sure he will be. But I don't think he will literally die without you. Besides, it sounds like he plans to keep seeing you regardless."

"Yeah, it sounds that way. I'm just afraid he'll change his mind."

"You can't live your life in fear," Kat said as she smacked me playfully across the face. "That's for getting bitchy with me," she teased.

As I got up I thumped her forehead. "That's for being a cunt."

Anyone who didn't know us would think we hated each other, just based on the "terms of endearment" we used. But Kat and I spoke our own language, so to speak. And she just laughed as she followed me into the bathroom to wash my face. She started telling me about Judas. Apparently he was smart when it came to college, but he was no conversationalist. As anyone could tell, Kat liked to talk, so this wasn't working.

"I just don't feel special," she said. "And I know that probably sounds stupid, but I don't."

"How does Beau feel?" I asked shrewdly.

"I don't know, but I'd like to find out."

"I knew it. Are you seeing him behind Judas's back?"

"No, we're just sort of gradually drifting apart. I figure I'll let Judas leave on his own before I hit on Beau," she said, sounding as if she'd already worked out the details.

"What if he hits on you?" I asked.

She didn't have an answer to that. However she reiterated her frustration about, "an eight inch dick is only so much fun without a brain attached."

Once we went back downstairs all the guys were gathered in the kitchen. Apparently there were plans being made for a cookout and no one bothered to tell me. What is it about a bunch of guys that makes them want to set something on fire? I walked through the door to find a wizard, a half-breed of another magical creature, and two hot werewolves sitting at my table.

"Is this a petting zoo?" I asked as I walked over to Bade.

"It is if you care to pet me, love." He smiled, putting his arm around me.

Luther watched this with a rather disgusted look.

"Easy, mate. I'm not nailing the packs alpha female," Bade assured him. "I'm her bodyguard, remember? We're not having sex, so we've got to talk about something. Did you think we wouldn't be friends?"

Luther seemed to calm down after this, but Bade didn't remove his arm from my waist and Luther didn't like it. Bade and I hadn't had lunch, so we nibbled here and there while everyone else started preparing food. Most of the stuff we were cooking would need to marinate for a few hours, so we all went out to the front porch with some iced tea to wait.

"You know," Bade said as I refilled his glass and took a seat beside him in the swing. "The first time I heard of sweet tea, I thought you people were nuts."

"They don't drink sweet tea in Australia?" Kat asked.

"Not the part I'm from," he said, smiling. "The first time I was served sweet tea I almost said, 'hey, this soda's gone bad.'"

While we all talked and laughed, and Alek had some hot tea with cream, I stretched out and put my feet in Bade's lap. He had removed my sandals and was rubbing the soles of my feet when Luther came back out of the house. You didn't have to be psychic to see the hellfire in his eyes when he took in this sight.

When he walked back in, I got up and followed him.

"What is your problem?" I asked as soon as we were alone.

"My problem? I'm not the one snuggling up to Bade like he's that fucking teddy bear who advertises fabric softener," he spat.

"What? What are you talking about? I thought you trusted Bade. Aren't you the one who wanted him to take over the pack if anything happened to Marco because you didn't want the responsibility?"

"That has nothing to do with it," he growled, but the fight was gone from his voice.

I was following on Luther's heels as he rounded on me. "Has it ever occurred to you that I liked being your protector and that I didn't mind filling the position until someone else could take over?"

"You're jealous," I said softly. I was shocked.

"Yes, Lilith I'm jealous. I'm jealous that what little bit of time I had with you and the small amount of closeness I was allowed has been stolen from me," he said turning his back. "Stolen by someone who doesn't deserve the honor."

He turned back to me and his eyes were amber.

"I know him, Lilith, and he is not the good natured boy from down under that you think he is."

"What do you mean? Luther, I've been close to him. I've touched him, and read his thoughts. He doesn't plan to hurt Marco."

"And stealing you would be painless?" he asked skeptically.

"I think you misjudge him, Luther." Then I added more softly, "And I think you misjudge me."

"Lilith, wait," he said, catching my wrist as I turned to go.

"I didn't mean to judge anybody, least of all you. I'm supposed to look out for Marco's best interest, and we're both supposed to look out for yours. As long as I've known you that puts me in a hard position."

"Why?"

"Because …" He hesitated. "Hell, I think I've just played your male lead too much."

After this he seemed better, but I was upset at the thought of Luther being so bothered by Bade's presence. By the time we went back outside Richard had arrived. I was sure Bade had called him in an effort to cheer him up.

He and Kat knew each other, but mostly through me. I caught her looking his way and said, "I can't account for anything else, but there's a brain attached."

"How do you like yours?" Bade asked.

"With a brain attached," I said, laughing.

Obviously he understood the nature of our conversation given my comment and the fact that Kat was now choking on her tea.

"I meant your steak, pervert," Bade growled playfully.

"I'd like it well done."

"I always do it well," he assured me.

"What the fuck have you got going on now?" Richard asked from over my shoulder.

"Nothing."

He snorted and took a seat beside Kat.

"Since when do you use such foul language?" I asked.

"Since when do you care?" But he was laughing when he said this.

"You need to get laid, mate," Bade said, handing Richard a drink. "At least that's my opinion." He added the last as he winked at me.

"Speaking of which," Johnny chimed in, "I do believe you two were in bed together when I called yesterday."

?

Chapter Nineteen

"You called then too?" Kat asked. Then she laughed. "No wonder you were mad," she said to Bade.

"Was he rude to you sweetheart?" Johnny said suggestively to Kat. But we all knew they didn't like each other which made the comment even funnier.

"He called me a twat."

"What's that," he laughed. "I cunt hear you?"

Kat took the lemon out of her tea and flung it at him. Johnny ducked about the time that Alek turned around. Fortunately his forehead stopped the lemon from going any further. How is it that people always get into food fights at my house? Well, Kat always ends up throwing food and other people get hit. I suppose that's close enough.

"Are you suggesting that I have a sour personality?" Alek drawled as he wiped the lemon juice from his face.

Kat laughed as she tried to apologize to the smirking wizard. Lucky for her he had a good sense of humor, because I'd seen him set werewolves on fire with just such a look.

"Sex does not solve all problems," Richard replied to Bade, who was still laughing at the lemon toss.

"No, but tits and ass are good therapy."

"Cheers to that," Johnny said, turning up a glass of soda and rum that was mostly rum.

The afternoon felt sort of light, like someone we knew hadn't died only a few days ago. Kat was leaving the next morning to attend Mary's funeral along with Elijah. She would be back by the weekend but Elijah would be gone for at least a week.

After everyone had gone home who wasn't spending the night, I left Bade and Johnny watching television while I decided to have a chat with the wizard.

"Yes," he said, as he opened the door to his apartment in my dungeon.

"Can I come in?"

"Always," he said, sweeping aside the lush curtains just inside the door.

He'd been sitting at his desk as was evident by all the books and plays scattered about. It looked like you'd expect a wizard's apartment to look. There were various odd little objects setting about, just like the ones he'd put inside the dungeon with my antique torture equipment. Dozens of books lined the walls and many were stacked in piles on the floor. Alek was obsessive when it came to things being dust free, or picking up trash and dirty clothes, but he was no stranger to clutter. His OCD only went so far.

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Need?" he asked, raising one eyebrow at my choice of words.

"Well, I'd really like your opinion."

Alek and I hadn't been alone in a while, and I'd missed our talks. We'd become almost as close as Kathryn and I, but lately I'd been preoccupied.

"I've missed you," I said.

"But you didn't come all the way down to the dungeon to tell me that." He smiled as he indicated I should make myself comfortable.

I walked across the room and into his bedroom. Alek's large four poster bed was covered in rich looking sheets of cerulean blue. The canopy was slightly darker and reminded me of a clear night sky.

Alek knew most of what was going on with me, and in the next hour I told him all the things he didn't know.

"Are you afraid to do what Mathias said?" he asked after I finished my explanation.

"Yes."

"But you love him," he said softly, referring to Dracula.

"Yes."

"Then what are you afraid of? I doubt Marco will disown you. The wolf king is much wiser than you give him credit for."

"I'm afraid that I won't be able to do it," I confessed.

"You mean consummate this … situation?" he asked carefully.

"No. I'm afraid I'll go through with it and I won't be able to help him. Then it will all be for nothing. I'll have hurt Marco, hurt Dracula, and hurt myself and it will be all for nothing. I'm afraid I don't have the power Mathias thinks I do."

"Ah," he said stroking his chin as if deep in thought. "I knew Mathias, and I do not think he would suggest something he didn't feel you had the ability to accomplish."

For several minutes I sat silently at the foot of Alek's bed and let his words sink in while he paced in front of the fireplace. Like Dracula's castle, my dungeon was always drafty, so he kept a fire. The odd thing was he never needed wood. It was obviously some form of magic and I had yet to ask how it was done.

He sat down in a chair beside the fire and turned it to face me.

"What else is on your mind?" he asked as he crossed his hands over his lap.

Alek is a good listener and I decided to take advantage. I told him how Luther had reacted to Bade being my assigned bodyguard instead of him.

"I don't get a bad impression of him," he said about Bade. "Of course, I don't get a bad impression of Luther either. I think they are both more than willing to fight for you … or over you," he added with a sly smile. "Darling, what you have here is a simple case of jealousy. But then again, jealousy is never simple."

"Nothing's simple," I sighed, reaching for one of Alek's blue velvet pillows to prop my elbows on. "I can't imagine why Luther would act this way. I haven't put him under any sort of spell. As a matter of fact, I don't know how to put anyone under a spell."

It was true that I'd put a crowd into a trance, but that wasn't exactly the same thing and it amazed me that I had accomplished that task.

"Your very presence has the effect." Alek laughed softly, and he reminded me of Mathias.

Speaking of the devil, Alek began to tell me about his experience with my ancestor. As he shared what it was like to be around Mathias I stretched out on my stomach across the foot of his bed. Alek has one of the sexiest voices I've ever heard: a rich, smooth baritone, filled with magic very different from my own. But there was only magic in Alek's voice when he was putting someone to sleep. After all, he was The Dream Weaver. Tonight his voice held no magic and in my opinion that made it all the more appealing.

According to him, at the height of Mathias's power, when Alek was just a young boy, "The Seducer could walk into a room and women would swoon. It didn't matter if he ever spoke a word."

"Shit. What am I supposed to do? Is this happening to me?"

"Most likely," he sighed. "But you can learn to control it. This was if he let his guard down entirely. And there are those who can block you as well."