A Dream Unfolding (34 page)

“While I agree with Hannah, I think the most memorable part of the journey for me has been making the transition from doctoring to driving a wagon,” Drew answered with a glint in his eye.
 
“I must say I will be glad to leave driving behind and get back to doctoring.”

The men around the table caught on to Drew’s attempt at humor and rewarded him with a laugh.
 
“Indeed, I shall not miss sleeping on the ground,” Mr. Richmond responded.

“And, Mr. Richmond, what did you find most interesting?” Drew asked.

“The prairie dogs.
 
I so loved their funny barking and the way they popped their heads up from the ground, looking at us as we passed by.”

Murmurs from other men indicated they agreed with the young man.

“I most enjoyed,” Secretary McCormick good naturedly said, “seeing the governor picking up buffalo chips for fuel in the prairie.”

This brought another hearty round of laughter from all.
 
Several others shared fun anecdotes of their experiences so far and the supper concluded in a light-hearted manner.

As they were walking back to camp, Drew confessed, “I lied when I answered Mr. Richmond’s question.”
 
Placing his lips close to her ear he whispered, “The thing I will remember most was our time in Santa Fe.”

Hannah blushed, knowing exactly what he was referring to.
 
Honestly, she would remember that afternoon, too.

Chapter
18

Christmas morning dawned cold and breezy.
 
The snow from yesterday already melted away, leaving a light layer of moisture over the land.
 
Will woke early and silently slipped out of the bunkhouse so as not to disturb the other men.
 
In the stable, Will began brushing down his horse, Jackson, to ready him for an early morning ride.
 
The night herders still covered for the next few hours, so Will took his time.
 
As he cared for his horse, his mind began to reflect on the changes over the last year.
 
For some reason, he always found himself in a pensive mood on this holiday.

He thought back to last Christmas—the last one with his father.
 
The family gathered in the morning for the reading of the Christmas story.
 
Then Mary and Julia set about the work of preparing a feast.
 
Midday, the cowboys drove the cattle into the corral and joined the family for dinner in the ranch house.
 
It was the only day of the year that the hired hands and the family dined together, breaking down the formality his father carefully maintained throughout the rest of the year.
 
In the evening, father, Julia, Mary, and the children piled into the wagon, while Will and Reuben rode on horseback into town for the Christmas service.
 
Following the service, back at the ranch house, the family gathered around the fireplace and exchanged gifts.

A wave of homesickness washed over Will as he realized this year would be far different.
 
There would be no church services to attend, no gifts to exchange, no family to share the day.
 
He wondered how Julia was faring under Reuben’s care.
 
Would Reuben even permit the family to attend the church he so despised?
 
As thoughts of his sister filled his mind, Will felt a pang of unexplained guilt.
 
He did not want to leave her behind with Reuben, but what choice did he have?
  
He could not go against his father’s will.
 
Truly, what kind of life would Julia have on
Colter
Ranch in the middle of the wilderness where they were always under the threat of Indian attacks?
 
No, his father had been right to assign Julia’s care to Reuben.

Knowing that did not make it any easier to go through the holiday without his family.
 
He and Julia had always been close.
 
And he loved to find ways to surprise her with an unexpected gift for the day.
 
This year, there would be no gifts exchanged.
 
He was not certain she had even received any of his letters, as mail service was mostly non-existent.
 
That would hopefully change with the arrival of the army last week as they established Fort Whipple.

Sighing, Will decided to make the best he could of the day.
 
Later, when all the men gathered to share their version of a feast, he would read the Christmas story, the only tradition he could continue.
 
For him, the story was not about tradition.
 
He loved reading it and being reminded of God’s amazing miracle, that He sent his only son to the earth as a baby for him, Will
Colter
.
 
How amazing was his God’s love?

A shuffling noise sounded behind him.
 
When Will turned, he faced Jed.

“Boss,” Jed started, “I…um…wanted to ask you something.”

Calmly Will nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“Remember back in New Mexico when you said that my family dying wasn’t my fault.”

“Yeah.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Will hesitated.
 
The question deserved an answer, but he had none ready.

“I mean…” Jed continued, “You said that God doesn’t blame me.
 
How do you know that?”

Lord, give me wisdom.
 
He swallowed hard, hoping he would say the right thing to help Jed and not turn him away.
 
“It is not His nature to blame us for things beyond our control.
 
You could not have changed anything that happened with your family, no matter how much you want to.”

Jed kicked at some dirt on the floor.
 
“You seem to know a lot about God,” he muttered.
 
“Could you ask him to let my family know that I—” his voice cracked, “I miss them and I love them.”

“We could both ask Him now.”

“
Naw
.
 
I’m sure he don’t want to hear from some messed up cowboy.
 
It’s better if you just ask.”

Will laughed.
 
“By your definition, I don’t think I can.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m a pretty messed up cowboy, too.”

Jed’s brow furrowed in confusion and surprise.
 
“Why do you say that, boss?
 
You’re one of the most decent, kindest men I know.”

“I wasn’t always so decent or kind,” Will confessed.
 
“Much of my life I’ve been ill-tempered, ready to jump into a fight at any moment—especially if it was with my brother.
 
I’ve done a lot of bad things.
 
Things I wish I could take back.
 
Things I wish I hadn’t done.”

“But, you’re a good man,” Jed defended.

“Not without Jesus, I’m not.
 
I make all kinds of mistakes.”
 
Will felt at a loss to explain things clearly.
 
“It’s just when I was a young man, I didn’t care about anything or anyone.
 
I almost lost my life on a cattle drive.
 
After that, I realized what a fool I was.
 
There was so much more to life than drinking and gambling and…
 
Well, I finally understood what my father had been trying to tell me—that Jesus loved me and that I didn’t have to carry around my guilt anymore.”

Jed looked at him intensely.
 
“I don’t think he loves me.”

Will’s heart hurt for the young man, that he would really believe that.
 
“Remember when that rattler almost bit you.”

Nodding, Jed broke eye contact, suddenly shy.

“If Hawk hadn’t shot it, it would have bit you on the neck.
 
There would have been nothing that we could have done to save you.”

Will paused, letting the words sink in.
 
“I think God spared your life.
 
He wasn’t ready for you to die.
 
He spared you because he loves you.”

“Then he didn’t love my family, because he didn’t spare them!”
 
Anger hardened Jed’s stance.

Placing his hand on Jed’s shoulder, Will countered his argument, “God loved my father, but he let him die this summer anyway.
 
We all die.
 
We all have a time.
 
Just because God doesn’t act, doesn’t mean he loves someone less.
 
I’m just saying that evidence of his love is shown in your life.
 
He led you to the Star C, gave you a good job, surrounded you with friends that care about you.
 
You’re right, you’ve suffered—more than most.
 
But, he never left you alone.
 
He always was looking out for you.
 
That, to my way of thinking, is what love is all about.”

Jed seemed to consider Will’s words.
 
For several minutes, both were silent.

Finally, Jed spoke, “Will you still ask him?
 
Will you ask him to make sure my family knows I love them?
 
I just want them to know that.”

“They know, son.
 
They know.
 
But, I’ll ask him anyway.”

A brief smile darted across Jed’s face before being swallowed by sadness.
 
“Thanks, boss,” he added before running from the barn.

Lord, I promised Jed.
 
Please let his family know that he loved them.
 
Still does.
 
And, Lord, keep working on his heart.
 
Help him to know that you love him.

Placing the saddle on Jackson’s back, Will cinched up the straps and led the horse outside, his former homesickness vanished.
 
Mounting with ease, Will nudged him into a gentle
lope
out to where the night herders managed the cattle.
 
Over the past month, the night shift was comprised of the four Mexicans in his employ.
 
Will had not planned it that way, but the men seemed to enjoy the camaraderie and after several days volunteering together, Will gave in.

“
Feliz
Navidad
, boss,” Pedro greeted when Will pulled up next to him.

“
Feliz
Navidad
, Pedro,” Will answered.
 
“Any trouble?”

“No, boss.
 
No sign of any Indian campfires for weeks now.
 
Herd has been peaceful, enjoying their favorite grass.”

Will chuckled.
 
Pedro often told him how much the longhorns liked the Arizona grass better than the Texas grass.
 
Will wasn’t sure how the
vaqueros
knew such a thing, but found the idea humorous.

Will turned his horse back toward the lake, where he stopped and gazed over it.
 
By this time next year, he would have the ranch house up.
 
He longed for some privacy as he was beginning to feel cramped in the bunkhouse.
 
Will knew it was awkward for the men, too.
 
While hanging around the boss on the trail was fine, doing so at home was another matter.
 
Maybe he would get the house built early next year.
 
And this is where it would go.
 
On the slight rise overlooking this glorious lake.

He liked it here, in his new home, despite the concern of Indians and cattle thieves.
 
The land was so incredible and peaceful.
 
He felt like he belonged here, like he was destined to live here.
 
He knew what his father would say to that.
 
He would say that as long as Will set his heart upon God, He would lead his path.
 
Will believed that was exactly what happened.

“Awful quiet this morning, Will,” Ben said, pulling Will from his thoughts.

Will just nodded.