Authors: Alicia Quigley
Allegra looked at him
mournfully. She didn't love Tristan, but he had always been kind and amusing,
and she was fond of him. It occurred to her that this might be the only
solution for her in the end. If Adam did indeed obtain a divorce or separation,
then she would be utterly disgraced. No aristocratic hostess would allow her
into her home, none of her friends would be allowed to receive her. She would
undoubtedly be immured on her brother's country estate, with no prospects
beyond spending the rest of her life there in shamed solitude.
"Lord Gresham, I
can't agree to such a thing. You would lose your friends and position; the
Society in which you have spent your whole life would reject you. We would be
forced to flee to the Continent. It would be no life for a man such as you, who
is used to moving in the highest circles," she said.
"Do you think
that the circles I move in mean more to me than you do? I would have no qualms
in deserting this world if you were by my side."
Allegra rose and
walked to the window. She pressed her hands to her flushed cheeks. It had been
a perplexing morning. Not three days ago she had been sure that Adam was coming
to care for her, and now she was not only threatened with the end of her
marriage, but another man was asking her to run away with him.
"My lord, I
can't give you an answer now," she said. "I'm too distraught to think
clearly."
Tristan came up
behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently.
"Forgive me. Now is not the time to be discussing these things. I have
vastly overstepped the bounds of what is proper. But I hope that you trust me,
and know that I am yours to command."
Allegra nodded her
head gratefully. "Thank you, my lord. I will remember that I have at least
one friend."
Lady Eskmaine
Intervenes
Lady Eskmaine entered
the room at that moment to see the two of them standing by the window,
Tristan's hands still resting on Allegra's shoulders. She blinked in
astonishment.
"Goodness,"
she said briskly. "I no longer wonder why my brother is in such a temper.
The two of you present a pretty picture, indeed."
Allegra hastily
turned and stepped away from Tristan. "Surely you don't think--" she
began.
"Of course I
don't think anything at all," Caroline assured her. "But I must say
it didn't look at all proper. One can hardly blame Adam for being upset."
An angry look came
into Allegra's eyes. "Adam has made it quite clear how he feels, as have
I. I have nothing to apologize to your brother for. He is the one who has
wronged me dreadfully."
"I'm sure you
believe so, my love," said Caroline, holding out her hand. "Come and
tell me all about it. Lord Gresham, you will have to excuse us. Pray wait on me
this afternoon in Brook Street, however. I have some matters to discuss with
you."
Tristan, with a touch
of surprise, found himself out maneuvered and had no choice but to bow
gracefully and leave the field to Caroline. That lady promptly bustled Allegra
to the settee.
"Now Allegra, do
tell me what is going on. Poor Mama is feeling quite vaporish, and my brother
is closeted in his study, muttering darkly of divorce. He tells me he found you
in the arms of not one, but two different gentlemen last night."
"And what if he
did?" said Allegra. "I'm sure that my doings are of little enough
interest to him."
"He seems to be
most concerned, nonetheless. Will you tell me why he found you in these
situations?"
"I was very
angry. If my husband cannot treat me with respect, I see no reason why I should
explain myself to him."
"What has Adam
done to make you so angry, Allegra? He swears he did nothing more than ask you
to dance with him, and you immediately rushed off to another man's arms."
Allegra sniffed and
lifted her chin. "He would see it that way, perhaps. He seems to think me
to be totally ignorant of his dealings with others. And I'm sure that is how he
would prefer it!"
"Talking to you
is like watching a top spin," complained Caroline. "You go around and
around, and you make me quite dizzy. What exactly has upset you so?"
"I will not have
my husband discussing me with his mistress!" said Allegra abruptly.
Caroline stared at
her, mightily confused. "Did Adam tell you that he had discussed you with
Louisa Manning?"
"Of course
not," said Allegra. "But I know that he has. He told her I was...that
I do not...I cannot tell you what he told her," she concluded.
Caroline sighed.
"I find this very confusing. If Adam has said something dreadful about you
to Lady Manning, how can you possibly know?"
Allegra bit her lip
and looked away.
"Surely you
haven't been talking to that vulgar woman!" said Caroline. "Or has
she been talking to you?"
"I don't care to
discuss this, Caroline."
"You can't
possibly believe something that Lady Manning has told you."
"And why
shouldn't I?" demanded Allegra. "She surely knows what Adam is
thinking; he spent all of last night with her."
"Allegra, a
gentleman of Adam's station doesn't connive with his mistress against his
wife," promised Caroline. "It simply isn't done."
"He does if he
wishes to rid himself of his wife and marry his mistress!" said Allegra
fiercely. "And that is what he wants, I'm sure. At the most, he wants me
only as a brood mare, someone to carry his children and grow old and fat, while
Louisa Manning has all his affection and care!"
Caroline sighed.
Allegra was clearly overwrought, and wasn't thinking clearly. And Caroline
herself could not be sure that Allegra was not at least partly in the right.
Adam had certainly told her that he wished to separate from Allegra, and while
he had not mentioned marrying Lady Manning, Caroline had no doubt that he had
fancied himself in love with her for several years. More than that, she had few
doubts that Lady Manning had every possible ambition to become Duchess of
Gravesmere.
"Come Allegra,
you must calm down and be reasonable," she said soothingly.
"There is
nothing to be reasonable about," said Allegra. "I have been treated
like...like...well, certainly not like a duchess and a wife."
"Did Adam give
you any reason to think that he wished to be rid of you prior to this
morning?" asked Caroline.
"Not since
we...not since we were at Gravesmere," said Allegra. "He was very
kind to me there and since we returned. I did have hopes, but, of course, I was
a fool. I was merely a convenient plaything while he was away from London. I
feel so humiliated. I thought he cared, Caroline, and I allowed him to...well,
to...I'm sure you know what I mean."
"I think I can
guess." Caroline patted Allegra's shoulder bracingly. "Tell me,
child, how long have you been in love with my brother?"
Allegra jumped as
though stung and stood up, her hands clenched at her sides. "I am not in
love with Adam! What a ridiculous suggestion. I was simply carried away at
Gravesmere. He is both attractive and, uh- proficient, you know, and I'm sure
he set out to seduce me. I was foolish enough to give in, but it will not
happen again, do you hear me, Caroline?"
"I hear you, and
we'll be fortunate if the entire house has not." Caroline stood and shook
her head. "You are far too overwrought to talk about this sensibly. I
suggest you take a nap, Allegra, and then try to be a bit more rational. You
have nothing except Louisa Manning's words to go by, and I wouldn't judge her
to be trustworthy. It's very possible that you are doing both my brother and
yourself a great disservice."
Allegra's lips
tightened. "Thank you for your concern, Caroline, but I think it's
misplaced. Your brother has wronged me, and there is nothing he can do now to
restore my faith in him. He told me he would send that woman away, and yet she
is still here, tormenting me."
Caroline sighed.
"We'll discuss this later, when you're calmer, and I've had more time to
get to the bottom of it. In the meantime, promise me you won't do anything
rash."
"Rash? What
makes you think I'd do something rash?"
Caroline's lips
twitched. "Please try to stay out of trouble, Allegra. I'll talk to you
again soon." She reached out and hugged her sister-in-law tenderly, and
then left the room, her heart heavy. Whatever was the cause of this quarrel, it
would not be easy to set right.
Allegra turned away
from the door as Caroline left and paced angrily up and down the morning room,
trying to sort out her situation. Her visitors had served only to confuse her
further. Tristan's surprising admission of devotion and his willingness to flee
with her made her suddenly aware of just how precarious her position was. If he
felt able to make such an offer, he must also feel confident that her marriage
was at an end. And yet she had done nothing wrong. It was Adam who had been
unfaithful to her.
Perhaps she had been
a touch indiscreet the night before, but Adam had driven her to that by his
lies and conniving with his mistress. She shuddered at the memory of the
gloating look she had seen in Louisa's eyes. And to think that only one night
before, she had abandoned herself freely to Adam, allowing him total access to
her body, imagining that he must feel some affection for her, that their
marriage would grow into a strong one.
Her lip curled in
distaste. She felt unclean, sharing her husband with another woman, being used
only as a diversion when he couldn't have the woman he truly wanted. Caroline
might try to reassure her that Adam was not conniving with Louisa, but to
Allegra the evidence was all too clear. Adam didn't want her and Tristan did.
Her only choices would be exile in England, alone, or on the continent with a
man she didn't love.
Allegra looked up and
saw her reflection in the gilt-framed mirror that hung across the room. Her big
blue eyes were heavy with tears, her distress evident in her flushed cheeks and
the tragic droop of her mouth. "It isn't fair," she said aloud to her
reflection. "Why should I be blamed when it is Adam who is at fault?"
The door to the room
swung open and Allegra hastily removed a handkerchief from her bosom, dabbing
at her eyes so that whoever the unwanted visitor was would not see her in
tears. When she turned, her eyes widened in shock, for Adam stood in the
doorway, his face also registering surprise. He looked wonderful, she thought
with a wrenching feeling in her stomach. Her body felt a traitorous twinge of
desire as her eyes lingered on his angelic face. If only she could turn the
clock back on the last twenty-four hours, she thought miserably. There must be
a way she could convince him that Louisa was not the woman for him.
Adam's look of
amazement was replaced by a glare of cold distaste. His first reaction at the
sight of Allegra had been to go to her and snatch her up in his arms, pressing
a kiss to her trembling lips. Despite everything he still felt drawn to her,
and he was furious with her for the power she held over him. "My
apologies, ma'am. I was told that you had left the house. I thought you were
surely amusing yourself elsewhere," he sneered.
Allegra flushed at his
insulting tone, and hardened her heart. The Adam she had known in the country
had obviously been a figment of her imagination. He could never have spoken to
her so. "You were misinformed. I have been home since yesterday night,
unlike yourself."
"My whereabouts
are no concern of yours," snapped Adam. He still felt a nagging sense of
distaste, as well as a thick head, after his night with Louisa, and he resented
it. She had always satisfied him in the past, and that it now seemed somehow
unsavory annoyed him. He had every right to do as he chose, particularly now
that Allegra had proved herself to be little more than a wanton.
"Indeed they are
not. You may disport yourself as you choose." Allegra glared at him
haughtily.
"And I
shall," Adam retorted.
"As shall
I," responded Allegra promptly.
Adam fought down the
urge to grab her by the shoulders and shake her. Where was the sweet, gentle
woman who had saved the mare's life, who had shared so eagerly in his
interests? Instead there was only this spitfire, a beautiful but flighty woman
who seemed to share her favors with all and sundry. A horrifying picture of her
with Gresham appeared in his mind, Allegra's fiery locks spilling across a
candle lit bed as Gresham leaned over her. He gave a snort of disgust.
"You will behave
yourself," he ordered. "You are still my wife and I won't have you
playing me for a fool. If you become pregnant, I wish to know that the child is
mine."
Allegra took a step
back, stunned by his admission that Louisa's words had been true. It was only
an heir he wanted from her, that and nothing else. What if she was pregnant?
Then he would have what he wanted from her and she would be all the more easily
cast aside. She struck back, hoping to hurt him. "That's something you'll
never know, will you Adam?" she taunted. "You can't keep me locked up
night and day. You'll never be quite sure what I'm doing all those nights
you're with your mistress."
"I can send you
away from here. No one would question me if you I sent you back to the
country...alone." Adam's lips curled in a triumphant smile. If she was
locked away at Gravesmere, she would be unable to be unfaithful to him. He
could visit her occasionally and claim his rights as a husband. Perhaps he
couldn't have the woman he had imagined her to be, but he could still possess
the image that haunted him.
"I'd run
away," promised Allegra. "You'd have to watch me like a hawk, and I'd
still find a way out. Do you think you can cage me like an animal?"
"Isn't that what
you are? You want only to satisfy your basest instincts. You have no
control." Adam's hands clenched into fists as he spat the words at her.
"I have no
control? Which one of us spent last night with his lover? I was alone in my
bed, Adam, waiting to see if you had the courage to return home!"
"Why should I
believe that you're speaking the truth? And if you were alone in your bed, you
doubtless allowed Gresham his way with you in the carriage. You've experience
with that as well."
"Only with you!
How can you imply that I would do such a thing with Lord Gresham? He was trying
to comfort me after your unkind behavior. Is it so impossible that someone
might be kind to me?"
Adam gave a cold
laugh. "No, I find it entirely possible that the entire male population of
London would like to be kind to you. Unfortunately, it seems as though you will
let them. I will not tolerate such behavior in my wife."
"I have done
nothing I need to be ashamed of," said Allegra stoutly. "And you have
no evidence to the contrary. I will not be sent away because you wish to spend
more time with your mistress and you find a wife to be an inconvenience."