A Family Come True (21 page)

“Creature?” He made a horrified face at Cady. “Did Mommy call you a creature?”

“Compared to some of the things I said in those first insane weeks, this is nothing.” Of course, the minute the words were out of her mouth, she realized how easily they could be misinterpreted. “But I always said it with love,” she added quickly.

“Like when my mom used to call me a brat when I teased her.”

Phew. He didn’t seem to think she was a bad mother. At least not for this.

She frowned at the screen, all but impossible to read thanks to the glare. Not that it mattered. The laptop was more of a shield against unwanted conversation. She had to talk to Xander. She knew that. And yes, rationally, this would be a great time, with few distractions and no timetable.

But she was...befuddled. Ridiculously resentful. All twisted and cotton-brained, and for once she couldn’t blame it on the lack of sleep.

“Hey, pretty girl, don’t put that in your mouth.”

Cady squawked as Xander gently tugged a piece of grass from her lips. Her big eyes filled with tears as she turned them to Darcy.

“Sorry, kiddo. I’m with...with your father on this one.”

That was a step in the right direction, wasn’t it? Someday she would be able to say
Daddy
. There was no law that said she had to do it right this minute.

It was a good thing she wasn’t in a car. She couldn’t find the proper speed for any activity these days.

“So, Darce.” Xander leaned on one elbow and bounced Cady’s stuffed puppy up and down, pulling a cautious grin from her. “You still working for your mom?”

Oh, goody, another of her favorite topics. At least if they were discussing Sylvie they wouldn’t have to touch on the big things yet. “Not as much.” She was tempted to leave it there, but as Cady’s other parent, he probably deserved some details. And it wouldn’t hurt for him to know that there were repercussions to parenthood. “Things got dicey for a while when I got pregnant. We had differing opinions over my ability to do the job with a baby in tow.”

“But weren’t you always flying everywhere?”

“Not always. And I would have managed. You know, brought a nanny along.” True, it would have been harder than she had anticipated—her vision of parenthood had been a lot more rose-tinted in those days—but she would have worked it out.

“So what happened?”

“She hired someone else to take over everything that had to do with her travel and appearances. I’m still handling her books and website and a few other bits and pieces. It was a transition, but it worked out for the best,” she added, bright and sunny enough to convince Xander with some perkiness left over for herself. “I branched out and do virtual assistant work for authors—help with social media, run contests, format ebooks. All those incidental things that eat up their time when they should be writing.”

“It’s all computer work?”

“Mmm-hmm. I like that. I work while Cady goes to day care in the mornings, then I bring her home for lunch and do more work during nap time and after she goes down for the night.”

“How’s it pay?”

“Well, between that and the rent money, I can support your daughter.”

“No, I didn’t mean... I was asking for myself.”

She finally got a clue. “Oh, of course. Duh. I forgot that you’re a—”

Crap. What was she supposed to say?
Computer whiz
didn’t sound right but
hacker
might offend him.

Lucky for her Lulu chose that moment to stick her nose beneath the laptop in a desperate plea for attention. Darcy sighed and surrendered.

Was that what she had done with Ian? Pushed him to the point of surrender before she should have?

No. She needed to stop obsessing over that and focus on what mattered: keeping Cady’s world steady.

“Maybe this would be a good time for us to sort out some things. About Cady, I mean.”

“Oh. Sure.” He pushed himself upright. Cady grabbed his sleeve and pulled to her feet. He laughed and tapped the end of her nose.

Darcy curled her fingers deeper into Lulu’s fur.

“Here’s the thing, Xander. I know it’s important for Cady to spend time with you. I’ll do my best to make it as easy as possible. But I’d like to take this slowly—”
better late than never
“—to make it easier on her. Especially since you’ll be, what, about four hours from Stratford?”

“Closer to three, I think.” He pulled Cady’s hand from his nose. “Is she always this aggressive?”

Yeah, and I think she gets it from me.
“Be glad. It means she likes you.”

“I’m honored.”

She handed Cady a teething biscuit. “And I guess this is a good time to confess that I’m pretty independent. I’ve been on my own with this parenting thing since I figured out I was pregnant. So Cady isn’t the only one who’s going to need to adjust to having someone else in the picture.”

“Except you already did that.” At her blank look, he added, “With Ian.”

“Right.” Should she come clean now? Except, after this morning, were they really still pretending? “That was different. Very gradual, you know? He was there all the time and we kind of grew into the relationships. All of them.”

“But I’m more like something that got dumped in your lap out of the blue.”

Crap. Had he picked that up from her? She wanted to protect her girl, but she didn’t want to hurt him in the process.

“Okay. Total honesty here.” At least in this one thing. “Yes, in some ways it would have been easier on me if you had never come back. Would it have been better for Cady? No.” She held his gaze. “At least, not if you end up being the kind of father you seem to want to be.”

He dipped his head.

Silence reigned for a second or two. Then Cady pulled the biscuit from her mouth and waved it in a wild arc, causing Xander to scoot back.

“Wow,” he said with a laugh. “That thing’s half gone already. Is she always this greedy?”

Are you always this greedy?

The early-summer sun shining down on Darcy didn’t keep her from going cold.

Are you always this greedy?

She remembered those words. Xander had said them to her, that night. If memory served—not that she could trust it completely, thanks to the booze, but still—she was pretty sure that when Xander had said that, something inside her had broken. Because that was exactly how she had felt that night. Greedy. Desperate. As if everything had been yanked out from beneath her and she’d had to grab hold of someone while she could, because she hadn’t known if she could face it all alone.

Kind of like this morning with Ian. Because if she was busy feeling him around her, she couldn’t feel her breath turning to sharp points every time she thought of how her careful little world was slipping out of her control.

“Darce? You okay?”

She gave herself a shake, grabbed the toy puppy and danced it up and down on Cady’s fat little arm.

“My dad died when I was seven,” she said softly. “A drunk driver plowed into him. My mother... Well, she tried, and she certainly took care of me, but her focus was always elsewhere.” Like on the Flavor of the Month. “Let’s just say it’s not like I had great role models. The closest thing I knew about how families were supposed to work was from visiting the Norths when I was a kid. But I read the books and took the classes, and I’m good at details and organization, so I figured I’d be okay.”

“Looks that way from where I’m sitting.”

“Thanks. But it’s all because of Ian. Turns out you need to be more than organized to be a good mother. You need to be good at loving, and I kind of sucked at that.”

Xander’s eyes widened. He glanced from her to Cady and back, but kept his mouth shut. Smart man.

“I did love her. Desperately. But God’s truth, Xander, at first, I didn’t dare give in to it. I thought... I think I believed that if I let it show, I would...I would lose her.”

“You know,” he said, leaning back, “this makes sense. I always thought you were like a queen, wandering around with a smile and a welcome for everyone, but still surrounded by a giant go-no-further shield. Now it makes sense.”

She wasn’t sure that was a compliment, but she decided to keep going.

“Ian had been doing things for me all along. You know, running to the store, doing the yard work, shoveling the sidewalk before I left in the morning. But he always seemed so— Okay, don’t laugh, but I thought he was shy and reserved.”

Now, of course, she knew the truth. He hadn’t been reserved. He’d been healing.

“After Cady was born, though, all that shyness disappeared. He was always singing to her and telling her how amazing she was and just talking to her like he really expected her to talk back to him. I was walking around half-dead, obsessing about schedules and feedings, and he would swoop in and pick her up and treat her, well, like Lulu, honestly, but more so.” Her voice dropped. “And it worked. She was more relaxed and happy with him than she was with me. That was when I knew I had to make a change.”

Cady blinked up at Xander and clapped her hands. He obligingly clapped back.

“So after I had this blast of jealousy and indulged in a little pity party, I decided to treat him as my personal how-to manual. I watched him and did what he was doing.” As Xander had been doing, too. “It was scary at first, like I was daring the universe to come and get me. But I knew I wasn’t giving her what she needed, so I made myself do it. Pretty soon I was singing to her and playing games and one morning I went in to get her and she looked at me with those eyes and, holy crap, five tons of love crashed all around me.”

Cady must have felt that the interesting part of the story was over, for she wriggled free and began tugging at the grass on the lawn.

“Maybe I would have figured it out on my own,” she said softly. “But I really feel like Ian is the one who taught me how to love Cady. And somewhere along the way, I kind of fell for—”

She stopped.

I kind of fell for him.

It couldn’t be true. The part about Cady, yes. So much of her relationship with Cady was due to Ian’s quiet, easy example. And of course she had grown closer to him as they spent more time together, shared more experiences. They were friends. More than friends after this morning. But only a step or so past the line. Right? Because she didn’t...

She didn’t.

Except maybe she did.

Maybe, while Ian had been showing her how to have a loving relationship with her daughter, he also had been teaching her how to love him.

* * *

I
AN’S BODY WAS
in Moxie’s office, but his mind was far, far away.

“So that’s how it looks right now. We’ll get rolling as soon as you come on board, assuming you do. If not, I hear Kermit the Frog is looking for a new gig these days.”

He blinked as the words sank in. Moxie pushed the last paper aside, folded her hands and fixed him with that
you don’t fool me
glare. Across the table, Cash shot him a wink.

Oops. So much for thinking he could focus on business when his head was filled with Darcy.

“I... Sorry. Between Cady teething and...everything else, I’m not as sharp as I should be this morning.”

Moxie snorted. “Ian, I’ve seen bricks that had more on the ball than you do right now. Why the devil didn’t you man up and tell me you couldn’t do this today? I have better things to do with my time than sit here yammering when you can’t pay attention.”

“Have I told you yet how much I’ve missed working with you, Moxie?”

She sniffed. “No. Can’t say that you have.”

“Good, because I’d hate to tell a lie.”

Cash snickered.

“Right at this moment I’d have to say the feeling’s mutual.” Her face softened. “Lucky for you it passes faster than a bad burrito.”

“Aw, Moxie. So tender. I’m going to start crying any minute.”

“Oh, for the love of biscuits. Cash, take your miserable excuse of a brother to his future potential office. Let him have a look around.”

On impulse he scooted forward and kissed her powdery cheek.

“Okay, Moxie. I confess. I guess I’ve missed working with you after all.”

“’Course you have.” She patted his face. “And believe it or not, we’ve all missed you.”

Some more than others, he was sure, but he was supposed to be looking forward not back.

The soft touch on his cheek turned into something more closely resembling a smack. “Now get going. I have work to do.”

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am.”

Cash hovered by the door. “Come on, Ian. Let’s get you measured for your hair suit.”

Cash took a sharp right down the hall leading to the executive offices. Ian followed behind, slowed by a mix of memories from the morning and questions about the future.

Striding down the halls he had walked since he was a child, surrounded by photos of the evolution of the dairy from its beginning to the hundredth anniversary, he couldn’t help but feel as though he was slipping back into a place he belonged. Seeing these pictures again was like seeing his life in miniature. He was in a three-generation shot with Grandpa Gord and Dad and his infant self; scooping ice cream at the dairy bar, all teenage zits and grins; at the going-away party before he left for Tanzania. And—oh, crap—there he was in the ridiculous garb they had donned for a celebratory dance performance during the anniversary.

In every one he was surrounded by family.

In all but the first and last ones, Carter was at his side.

“Here you go.” Cash stopped in front of a door and gestured down the hall. “Right within yelling distance of Moxie. Lucky you.”

“Like you’re not?”

“Ah, but I have to be on the floor a lot, you know. Need to build those relationships so people know they can come to me when there’s an issue.” He winked. “At least that’s what I tell Moxie.”

“Right. Like anyone could put anything past her.”

“I don’t try to put anything over her. I tell her flat out that she’s driving me ’round the bend and I have to get away from her.” He opened the heavy door and gestured for Ian to enter.

“Bet she loves that.”

“She tells me to get my sorry ass down there and do something constructive instead of getting snippy with an old lady. I just laugh and remind her that she’s the snippy one.”