A Father At Last (21 page)

Kelly felt the tension in his arms ease as they loosened their grasp on her body, leaving her free to step back if she wanted to. But she didn’t.

“If I’d asked? What would you have told me?”

“That I was in the police force. By the time we met up again that first time, I was already doing some work for the drug squad as a uniformed officer. I would have told you that when some dropkicks offered to sell me drugs outside that party, I bought them, quite openly. That purchase—that bag of white crystals you saw—led us to a fairly large scale dealer who’d supplied the stuff to the guys I’d bought it off. He got put away for a few years.”

“Oh, Ben.” She’d got it so wrong. “I’m so sorry.”

“Not half as sorry as I was when I realised you’d walked out on me. I assumed you regretted sleeping with me.”

Julie Mac

She shook her head, shocked. “Not for a minute.” Not then, or later. She thought of Dylan, her beautiful little boy, the light of her life. How could she ever regret the event which created him? “But this time, when we met up again, why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me go on thinking…”

“It’s one of the cardinal rules of this type of police work. You don’t tell your friends or loved ones about your assignments.” He dragged in a deep breath. “Especially not this one. It was dangerous for you to know the truth, my sweet. Even more so because your firm was defending an associate of the guys we were after. It was dangerous for me, dangerous for you and Dylan. Risky for our operation. None of us were allowed to speak to anyone on the outside about this op.”

He lifted a hand to her face and let it trail down her cheek. “If it makes you feel any better, not even my parents know exactly what I do.”

“They don’t?” Kelly searched his eyes. He was speaking the truth, she knew. “What do they think you do?”

“They know I’m in the police force, and of course, they worry, because that’s what parents do and policing is a high‐risk job. But they think I work in the IT department. And it’s true in a way. I hack into a lot of computers.”

Kelly laughed, and he joined in. Happiness spread like warm honey, filling all the lonely gaps in her mind. “Our teachers from school will be pleased to hear you’ve put that particular skill to good use.”

“Maybe,” he murmured. “And I’ll be doing a lot more with computers in future. In the early hours of this morning, I decided I was quitting the special ops stuff. I’m going back to good, regular, respectable police work.”

“Why?” Even as she asked the question, she knew the answer, could see it in his eyes.

“When there were bullets firing all around me, I thought of my family, and the pain it would cause them if I was shot dead. And I thought of you.”

He lowered his head to hers.

“I love you.”
He’d said those words yesterday afternoon, before he’d left her, and she knew he’d meant them. Now he was telling her he’d thought of her in his moment of need.

She tilted her head to his, desperate for the touch of his lips on hers, and more—

much more. Ben Carter, the love of her life, was one of the good guys—always had been.

Was there anything to keep them apart now?

Oh, God.

There was the deluge of ice rushing down her spine again. “You said you were afraid to be a father,” she said. “Because of the blood that runs in your veins. Let me help, Ben.

I’ve been doing some reading; I could come with you to counselling—”

A Father at Last

“No need,” he said quietly. “I’ve come to a decision. Someone very wise reminded me that nurture is more important than nature. I was brought up by a caring, loving family—

that’s
what’s shaped me—not some long‐gone accident of nature. I can do it. And if sometimes I falter, I know you’ll be there at my side, and my mum and my step‐dad, my sisters. Your dad, too. Sometimes, I might have to dig deep. I’m sure it won’t always be easy, but I know now that I can do it. Or at least give it a damn good try.”

He touched his lips to her cheek.

“I’ll be a father at last, Kelly.”

A picture filled her mind then: they were standing in bright sunlight, laughing together, her on one side, big, strong, handsome Ben on the other, and between them, holding both their hands, Dylan. In the background were a couple of sets of grandparents.

Then the picture shattered into a thousand fragments.

“Oh, no,” she gasped, jerking back just as his mouth, his sweet, hungry mouth reached hers. “Does this mean you have to go away to Mongolia or outback Australia or somewhere for ten or twenty years? Do you have to disappear because you’ve been working undercover or special ops or whatever you call it?”

Ben smiled. He was exhausted, but this beautiful woman in his arms invigorated him.

He loved the way her silver‐blue eyes mirrored her every emotion when she was with him.

He’d seen the sadness lift when she finally grasped the fact that he really was on the right side of the law. And now the silky veil had returned.

He dropped a quick kiss on her lips, then drew back fractionally, murmuring, “Still doing the head prefect thing, huh? Always looking ahead, foreseeing possible obstacles and outcomes?”

“Stop mucking me around, Ben Carter.” She wriggled in his grasp again, but only half heartedly, he noted.

“I know what can happen in these circumstances,” she said. “You’ll have to go away and then we can never be together.”

He lifted a hand to brush back a springy red‐gold curl from her face. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, but she must have done it in a hurry, because little bits had escaped all around her face. He wanted to take each one in his fingers and play with it.

“Is that a proposal of marriage?” he asked. He saw the confusion in her eyes and tried not to laugh out loud.

“No! Just a simple statement of fact.”

“And if I did have to go away, disappear to some remote place, would you come with me?” He asked the question quietly, watching her expressive eyes as he spoke, and saw her thought processes playing out in front of him. He had a fair idea of the sort of obstacles she was sifting through in her mind: if she and Dylan came with him, they could live happily ever after, a proper family in a safe place. But then she’d have to leave behind her newly found dad. Dylan would have to leave his school and all his friends. She’d have to find another job.

Julie Mac

Then, her eyes cleared, her intent plain. “Yes.” She breathed in deeply. “Yes, Ben, now that I’ve found you again, I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth if I have to. I love you Ben, I always have.”

He felt an odd weakness in his legs and his eyes were suddenly prickly. Must be fatigue. So she wouldn’t see, he closed his eyes and lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her velvety softness long and hard.

When he came up for air, he saw her eyes were dreamy. “We’ll get married,” he murmured. It was a statement, not a question. And then, “I won’t have to leave the country.

That’s what I was talking about with my boss when you came in. My cover wasn’t blown.”

“Yes,” she said in a breathy whisper, a little smile turning up the corner of her lips.

Yes
to getting married, or
yes
to his cover not being blown? Either would do just fine, he decided, and continued, “A lot of my work is—was—in surveillance, planting devices in houses, offices and cars. There was always a risk I’d be caught in the act, but it never happened. We’d roll up in a plumber’s van—” he smiled when he saw her eyes widen “—or a delivery truck, do the business and be off. When I made contact, texting or face to face, buying from dealers, selling sometimes, I worked with an assumed identity and managed reasonable disguises. Those were always one‐off contacts. I wasn’t like the guys that go undercover for deep infiltration. That gang you saw me with—”

“Tell me about it later.” She looked away from him, stared out the window for a moment, then swung her eyes back to him.

“Right now there’s something I have to tell you.”

Anxiety creased her brow. He wanted to kiss the frown away, tell her he knew.

But the words had to come from her.

“Dylan…” She put her hand up to fiddle with her hair, and cleared her throat, then it all came out in a rush, “Dylan’s your son, Ben.”

“I know, my darling. And a beautiful little fella he is, too. He’ll make a great page boy at our wedding, don’t you think?”

He laughed out loud when her eyes flew wide, and then he smothered her demands of, “How did you know?
When
did you know?” with a very long kiss.

A Father at Last

Chapter 12

Albert Park, in the city’s central business district, was a cool haven on a summer’s day. Ben and his mother walked side by side up the steep path, under the shade of the big old trees that spread their branches wide.

They reached the band rotunda, climbed the steps and stood by the rails, surveying the green oasis of the park before them.

Meeting in Albert Park was nothing new; his mum worked in the city, and often in the past she’d grabbed some takeaway coffee and muffins for both of them and walked up the hill to join him for a chat at lunchtime.

But today, she seemed on edge.

She wasted little time on small talk. He thought it was because his injury yesterday, though of no consequence, had upset her. Then she spoke.

“Do you remember when you rang me the other day, I told you that your father and I loved you?”

“Sure do, Mum.”

“I said ‘father’, Ben, and I was talking about Charlie, not Evan Smith.”

“Yeah, Mum, I knew who you meant. You were stressed—and anyway, you never talk about my real father, my blood father, ever, so I understood what you were saying.”

“I don’t think you did.”

She turned to him. “I’m so sorry, Ben.” She sounded sad. “Yesterday, when I heard you’d been injured, I knew it was time to be honest. Evan Smith is not your father—never was.”

“What?” He studied her eyes, and knew that she spoke the truth.

He sucked in a deep, slightly shaky breath, and turned to look out at the park, his grip on the rail tight. The orange marigolds in the bed in front of the rotunda suddenly looked a thousand times brighter.

“I fell in love with Charlie the very first time I saw him, even though I was engaged to Evan at the time.” Her voice was more confident now. “I’d gone to Sydney for a holiday with some of the girls from work. We met this bunch of Kiwi soldiers who were in Sydney on Julie Mac

leave from their peace keeping duties in the Middle East.”

She stopped talking, so Ben turned to her again and took one of her hands in his. “Go on, Mum.”

Her hand tightened around his. “Charlie and I clicked instantly. On the last night of our holiday, well…” His mother blushed and looked away.

“It’s okay, Mum,” said Ben . “I’m getting the picture—at least I think I am.”

Hope kindled in his chest, and then it spread, like the brightest flame, as he listened to his mother’s next words.

“I came home, and found I was pregnant with Charlie’s baby. I confessed to Evan, and told him I couldn’t marry him. I knew by then that I didn’t love him, not properly. But he insisted we marry—I think he saw easy dollars because my parents had a business that was making lots of money at the time. And anyway, Charlie had returned to the Middle East and wouldn’t be finishing his tour of duty for a couple of years. I thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie.”

Ben shook his head. “Sleeping dogs should always be woken, Mum.”

She looked up, the start of a smile on her lips.

“You’re not angry?”

“Hell, no! Does Charlie know?”

“I think he does, but I’ve never spoken to him about it.” His mum looked embarrassed again.

He took both her hands then, and held them tight. “Talk to him today, Mum. Make sure he knows.”

She nodded, tears running down her cheeks.

But Ben wasn’t crying. His heart was singing.

A Father at Last

Epilogue

Seven months later

The little girl held Kelly’s hand and chatted happily as they walked down the path towards the visitors’ area at the prison.

“Do you think Dad will like the picture I drew for him?” she asked, waving the cardboard cylinder in her other hand.

“He’ll love it, sweetheart,” said Kelly, smiling down at the child. She’d looked at the picture before they’d left for the prison, and the girl had explained it to her in detail—not that it wasn’t totally self‐explanatory.

“This is a picture of our family for Dad to put on the wall in his cell,” she’d said.

“See—here’s Mum and Dad, and me and my baby brother and our puppy. I put Dad in the picture so he’d know that even though he’s in prison, he’s with us at home in a way.

Mummy says he’s with us in our hearts.”

She’d said it totally matter‐of‐factly, and Kelly had turned away so the little girl wouldn’t see the tears that sprang to her eyes.

Behind her now, as they walked down the path, Kelly could hear Ben and her father chatting to the two teenage boys, aged twelve and fourteen, visiting their father for the first time in prison. “What are we going to say to him?” the younger boy asked worriedly.

“Does he follow rugby?” her father asked.

“Yeah, he’s mad on it,” the older boy replied.

So her father and Ben primed them with a steady supply of rugby‐centric conversation openers.

She stopped at a junction in the path. One way led to the minimum security area, where she and the little girl were going, the other to the maximum security wing where the others were headed.

The men and boys caught up and Ben stepped close to her. “You’re sure you’re okay to do this, Mrs Carter?”

She loved it when he fussed over her. “I’m fine. And so is baby.” She smiled and rested her hand briefly on her baby bulge.

“That’s my girl.” He leaned in and kissed her briefly on the lips.

The End