A Father First: How My Life Became Bigger Than Basketball (47 page)

Each game was so tough. Each game meant something different. Game three was huge. We couldn’t let them have it because, we believed, it would set the tone for the rest of the series and determine the outcome of the next two games. And we won that game. Game four then became do-or-die, like a game seven in any other series. That’s how we played it. And we won. Game five was all about making a final statement—deciding as a team, hey, let’s close this door and not them out. We did that and won the series 4–1. In all, we had won 16 out of 23 games.

And that’s how we got to the top of Mount Everest where we planted a second flag for the Miami Heat, and we’re all celebrating with this joyful parade down Biscayne Boulevard. We just want this party to last—after all that we’ve been through as a team and as a city, after all that we’ve had to overcome since 2010. To me the celebration brings home what being a champion really means this time around: to do something that you’ve never done before by taking a step back in a sense and giving someone else the opportunity to get there and to succeed. For me that was scoring 23 points a game without getting the ball as much as other times. In 2006 I had done it with the team on my back and that was one kind of triumph. This was different. This was doing it against even greater odds, sticking to the belief that if you stay with your team and your faith in each other, you can get there together. We had stuck to belief, we had trusted each other, and we did it our way.

My heart is full and overflowing with gratitude.

Being able to celebrate with the Heat families, the Arisons, the Rileys, and especially with my victorious teammates, only adds to a sense of fulfillment. The happiness I feel for LeBron is beyond words. First of all, I know how it felt when I got my first ring—what it represents and how blessed you feel when you’ve been given an opportunity. Second, I know how much he wanted this, how he put everything on the line to get here, and how he took on the responsibility for everything. In the midst of the relentless talk of what the Heat hadn’t done, he rose above the fray to do something about it, not doing it with his mouth but with his play.

So this is how I get to wrap up my story, riding down Biscayne Boulevard, feeling the purity of just being happy to be on this journey with one of my best friends, one of the best players to ever play the game.

What’s more I get to do it with my boys along for the ride. Since I’ve had full custody, we’ve tried to maintain our even keel and a level of normalcy even with challenging drama and excitement like this. I love that they look at everything with an eye to learn from my experiences.

Dahveon sees the possibility for overcoming obstacles and takes risks that he never would have before. Zaire better understands the basketball dream and has the desire to become a champion, while also having seen adversity in his young life and knowing about resilience. Zion pays attention, too, and then keeps everything real, reminding everyone not to take ourselves too seriously. I love holding the trophy, but the best reward for me is having the boys with me, getting their hugs and high fives, sharing the celebration with the ones I love most. They’re the ones who give this meaning, and if I didn’t have them in my life, I wouldn’t be who I am. Our kids and family members are the ones who matter in each of our lives—they’re the ones who love us, who help us, and who heal us.

Down the road, there are lessons I hope my boys will remember from this mountaintop: the importance of hard work and of not being selfish. We all want to make our mark on whatever it is that we do. But growing up means learning that it’s not just about you, it’s about being part of a team. Whatever the quest, it’s about everyone involved. It’s never just one guy. It’s never just two guys or three guys. When this season is remembered, we’ll be reminded that history was made as much by Mike Miller’s three-point shooting as by the precision of Shane Battier’s game and the stepped-up attack of Mario Chalmers.

In addition to striving to be unselfish, I want my sons, my nephew, and all of us to remember that when people say you can’t do something, that’s when you have to believe in yourself most and prove them wrong. Because, if there is one father-son or parent-child lesson worth sharing, it’s that with belief in self, hard work, and unselfishness, you can accomplish anything and everything.

THERE IS ONE OTHER THOUGHT THAT OCCURS TO ME UP on this float as I conclude the journey until now, and that is of another celebration that I was able to share with my boys back in January 2012.

For once in recent years, as my thirtieth birthday approached, Lisa Joseph didn’t keep saying to me, “We need to talk.” I knew there was something cooking with a party and was excited. But I had no earthly idea what Lisa was about to mastermind—not one but three separate surprises. With help from Tragil on one of the events and a whole host of other co-conspirators on the others, Lisa shocked me at the second of the three events when I walked in with my lady Gab on my arm to a private dinner attended by close family, friends, and celebrities from around the country who had flown in for the occasion and were being stashed in hotels all over Miami.

All of my teammates were there, as was Hank Thomas, my agent, who has been like a father to me all this time, steering my life and career to this successful stage, and many coaches without whom I wouldn’t be the player or the man I am today. Pat Riley honored me with a great toast, as did family members and friends.

After several speeches, Dad announced, “Everyone else says they’re my son’s number-one fan. But I am truly his number-one fan.”

That was shocking, but in the best way possible. Later, I asked Dad to elaborate and he said, “Oh, man, you know as a player, it’s been nine years and I still don’t know how to feel. You’ve matured so much from crying in the backyard to being one of the best players in the world. When someone asks me who are the best five players ever, on and off the court, you are exactly what I want to see in a ballplayer.”

It’s something that my boys have taught me. You are never too young or too old to appreciate praise from your father. Then Dwyane Wade Sr. continued, telling me why he was a fan of me as a father. He said, “I love that you’re a leader and that you give your boys a program for leadership. You teach them right from wrong, how to go from struggle to success. And one day, I’m sure you’ll tell them everything you went through.”

Wow, it was worth turning thirty to hear all that from my father!

The video that was shown had been made with help from much of my Heat family and the basketball who’s who of the world also featured special commentary from my sons. Zaire called me “Fantastic!” Zion looked right into the camera and said, “Oh, you know . . .” like there was no point in going into specifics.

My speech was kept short. My heart was full of so much love for everyone who’d been with me all the way. With Gabrielle beaming almost as giddily as me at my side, and Dahveon, Zaire, and Zion close at hand, too, I closed the books on our past struggles and readied for the greatest decade yet.

The after-party that night was an invitation-only extravaganza with hundreds, plus entertainment from surprise artists like Common, Rick Ross, T.I., and Usher and over-the-top gifts that included a rare 1982 vintage bottle of Dom Perignon in honor of the year of my birth, a special edition diamond-encrusted watch from my friends at Hublot, and a custom-made McLaren.

Presented to me by the Collection, a luxury car dealership in Coral Gables, the 2012 McLaren MP12-4C had been assembled in the United Kingdom and designed by—guess who? Me! Oh, yeah, I have to start thinking about my day job in the future. How beautiful and crazy—that I now own a sports car that’s better and more outrageous and smarter than KITT from Knight Rider.

I used to say when I first got into the league that I was living my dreams and that maybe I should have dreamed a little bit harder. No longer. My dreams have turned out so much better than I could have ever made up on my own. The best part is that they’re alive and well in my children.

For all the amazing surprises that came along with my thirtieth birthday, one that had me breaking down and bawling like a baby took place in the middle of the family brunch on the day before the big bash. Mom, my favorite girl, and I were just settling in for one of my favorite gospel songs, “Never Would Have Made It” by Marvin Sapp, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Willie Mae Morris, ninety-one years old. Grandma had flown to Miami from Chicago on her first plane ride ever.

We hugged and hugged. We sure had come a long, long way together.

F
inal
T
houghts

Next Steps for Getting Involved
 

In March 2012, when I had the honor of hosting a Responsible Fatherhood Roundtable discussion as part of President Obama’s Fatherhood & Mentoring Initiative, our focus was on the fundamental theme of getting involved. In addition to representatives from government agencies and a diverse group of leaders from around the country who were in attendance, we were joined by dads from various walks of life who were recognized for their individual efforts to exemplify and promote responsible fatherhood.

I was inspired after meeting men of all ages who are deeply committed to their roles as fathers and mentors. And I was also very encouraged to hear reports of great strides being made by families and communities that have benefitted from the resources made available by the Initiative’s partners, including the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC), the Administration for Children and Families Office of Family Assistance, and the White House Office of Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnerships. What I learned from our discussion reinforced my own belief that when it comes to parenting, a little goes a long way. The key really seems to be making involvement with the children in your life a priority for your time, energy, caring, and concern. The first step, I believe, is recognizing that priority and the next step is taking action by staying connected to them and their lives.

If you’d like more information on parenting resources and on how you can get more involved as a dad yourself, as a mom looking to promote fatherhood in your family, or as a citizen or organizational leader seeking ways to positively impact your community, I hope your next stop will be the website www.fatherhood.gov. You’ll find everything you need, from a DadBlog on a variety of topics of interest to fathers and families, to an interactive map that can connect you to programs on the local level wherever you happen to be. Aside from offering all kinds of suggestions for different activities you can do when looking to spend quality time with your children, the website has a library tab that lets you research books and other reading materials on any parenting or mentoring question you might have. Another section includes information about employment opportunities and community grants, while another provides recent statistics and research about the importance of responsible fatherhood to society at large. As the website states:

Fatherlessness is a growing crisis in America, one that undergirds many of the challenges that families are facing. When dads aren’t around, young people are more likely to drop out of school, use drugs, be involved in the criminal justice system, and become young parents themselves.

Of course, when I was first approached by President Obama to become involved with the Initiative, I was humbled. More than that, I was moved by the fact that one of the reasons he was so passionate about this issue is that he grew up without his dad. He, too, has recognized that being a father is his most important role. To acknowledge that, the president is reaching out to dads across the nation to join him in taking a fatherhood pledge. You can make your pledge official by signing up at www.fatherhood.gov/pledge with your name and e-mail address. The pledge is simply a commitment for all of us to do everything we can to be there for our children and for young people whose fathers aren’t around. By signing the President’s Fatherhood Pledge, your name and e-mail address will be kept strictly confidential and you’ll also be sent tips, updates, and information about resources from fatherhood organizations, prominent dads, and experts.