A Father For Zach (15 page)

As a stomach-clenching wave of regret washed over her, the pieces of her memory clicked into place.

She’d come in here yesterday after arriving home from her errands, lugging two boxes of laundry detergent. As she’d set them down, her purse had slipped off her shoulder. Irritated, she’d plopped it on top of the washer. Much to her annoyance, it had tipped over, spewing the contents over the surface just as Zach, in his eagerness to help, had dropped a bag of potatoes on the kitchen floor behind her.

The envelope must have fallen out and slipped between the two machines as she turned toward him.

Sick at heart, Catherine closed her eyes and drew a deep breath.

How could you be so dumb? And how could you have harbored even one millisecond of doubt about Nathan?

Her only excuse—and it wasn’t sufficient, as she well knew—was that the baggage from her past was formidable. She was working through it, and had begun to accept that rehabilitation was possible for criminals, but she supposed enough skepticism had remained to raise a fleeting doubt after the money had gone missing. And that same
doubt had flickered through her mind again when Zach had produced the bracelet from Nathan’s tool kit.

Deep inside, though, she’d always known that the kind, gentle man who had befriended her son and eroded the walls around her heart hadn’t taken her money. Nor had he stolen the bracelet. No matter what that Price woman said.

The question was, could she convince him she believed in him? Or was it too late?

Catherine didn’t know the answers to those questions. But she did know one thing.

He deserved her trust. And she intended to do everything she could to convince him he had it.

For always.

N
athan dipped his brush into the cobalt-blue paint he’d squeezed onto his palette, swirled it in the magenta, dabbed it in white and proceeded to do his best to replicate the amazing hue of the sea off Great Point.

This was his first visit to the isolated northern tip of the island, where a stately lighthouse dominated the evocative, windswept landscape. And it was exactly the kind of spot he’d been looking for when he’d asked Edith to recommend an area as far removed as possible from the Fourth of July weekend holiday crowds.

Getting here hadn’t been easy, however. Edith had warned him to let some air out of the tires on J.C.’s car before attempting the sand road that led to the lighthouse, and he’d have to refill them at the air pump near the main road when he left. But this glorious stretch of beach was well worth the effort required to reach it. Although there was a small cluster of people close to the lighthouse, he’d trekked down quite a distance. As a result, he had a long stretch of untouched sand all to himself.

It was a good place to think. And regroup.

His top two priorities after the traumatic events of the morning.

Leaning forward on his portable stool, he concentrated on getting the curl of a wave just right. Then he turned his attention to the lighthouse, adding the outline of it to the scene on the canvas with bold, decisive strokes.

All the while wishing he had as much confidence in his future as he did in his painting skills.

When he’d come to Nantucket at J.C.’s and Marci’s invitation, he hadn’t had a long-term blueprint for his life. He’d planned to use their generous gift of three months in Edith’s cottage to decompress, pick up some odd jobs and save enough money to give him a little cushion for whatever he decided to do once this interlude was over.

He definitely hadn’t planned to fall in love.

But it seemed God had had other ideas.

Not that he was ready to commit to a serious step like marriage. If he’d learned one thing from his past, it was to move slowly. Analyze options. Make no rash decisions.

He had, however, been ready to explore the attraction between him and Catherine. Take it to the next level.

Until he’d seen the doubt in her eyes this morning.

And that, in turn, had made him think about a couple of troubling issues he hadn’t factored into their relationship—but should have.

Like, how would being involved with an ex-con impact Catherine and Zach? Would the stigma he’d carry for the rest of his life taint them? Limit their opportunities? Undermine their reputations?

Tough questions.

But there was a tougher one.

Would he want people he loved to have to live with the risk that had been slammed home to him today as hard as a punch to the solar plexus—and which had left him just as breathless?

The harsh truth was that without J.C. to vouch for him, he would have been toast this morning. Back behind bars faster than the sand crabs on this beach were scuttling for their holes.

Was it fair to subject a family to the possibility that someone with an agenda could destroy their future? For the sake of Catherine and Zach, wasn’t it better to break the relationship off now, anyway? Before things got too serious?

Because in the end, he cared too much to run the risk of adding any more pain or loss to the lives of a woman and little boy who had already endured more than their share of both.

Even if walking away left his own life empty.

Shoving that depressing thought aside, Nathan forced himself to concentrate on transferring to canvas the evocative majesty of the lighthouse in front of him. He needed to clear his mind, give his dilemma to God and wait for guidance. It would come. It always did.

As he worked, focused on the task at hand, he didn’t notice at first that a solitary figure had broken away from the small cluster of cars and people at the tip of the point and was moving his direction. When he did become aware of the intruder’s approach, he stifled his disappointment. He didn’t own the beach, after all. But he wasn’t up to conversation. He hoped the lone walker would simply pass him by, not stop to chat as people often did while he was painting.

Doing his best to ignore the interloper—a strategy he hoped would send a clear
Keep Out
message—he didn’t
flick another discreet glance toward him or her until the person was fifty yards away.

That’s when he realized it was a woman. One he knew very well.

His heart stuttered.

As Catherine drew closer, his hand began to tremble. Setting his brush down, he shaded his eyes and tried to breathe. She was dressed as she’d been this morning, in a floral-print skirt that billowed around her legs and a soft-lavender knit top that hinted at her curves. Her clunky hiking boots were in direct contrast to her feminine attire, but despite the reinforced footwear she seemed to be treading cautiously on the shifting sand beneath her feet. A towel was draped over her arm, and she was toting a small insulated container.

She stopped about six feet away from him and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Hi.”

Her greeting was shy. Tentative. As if she was uncertain of her welcome.

“Hi.” He wiped his hands on a rag and stood. “I didn’t expect to see you again today.”

“I’m not surprised.”

When she didn’t offer anything else, he asked the obvious question. “What are you doing way out here?”

“Looking for you.”

He frowned. “How did you know where I was?”

“I stopped by your cottage. Edith told me.”

Who else? His neighbor was the only who’d been privy to his destination. “Where’s Zach?”

“Edith volunteered to watch him for a couple of hours.”

Nathan arched an eyebrow. That was a first. “I’m surprised you left him with someone else.”

She shrugged. “With school starting in seven weeks, I decided I’d better get used to it. And it wasn’t a hard sell from his standpoint. There were two friendly little girls there, and Edith promised to make another batch of cinnamon rolls.” She swallowed and moistened her lips, distracting him. “If I’m not bothering you, I’d like to talk for a few minutes.”

His gaze shifted from her lips to her eyes. “You’ve always bothered me, Catherine. In a good way.”

At his husky, honest response, soft color flooded her cheeks. “Can we sit for a few minutes? Edith gave me a beach towel. And she dug some cookies out of her freezer in case we got hungry. I think she also threw in a couple of sodas.” She lifted the small insulated pack.

“Okay.”

Moving closer, he took the tote and set it on the sand. Together they spread out the towel, then sat next to each other, facing the sea.

Nathan was tempted to take her hand. But he didn’t. For all he knew, she’d sought him out to do no more than apologize. He knew she’d seen the hurt in his eyes this morning when doubt had flashed through her own. Perhaps she was simply sorry for causing him distress—and had no interest in taking their relationship any further.

Besides, he now had his own reservations about that, anyway. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt the woman and little boy who’d added such light and grace to his days. And the stigma from his past that would follow him for the rest of his life could do that.

He watched as she lifted a handful of sand and let it sift back to the beach. Some of the grains clung to her fingers despite several attempts to brush them off, and she tipped her head and studied them.

“You know, this is a good analogy for what’s been happening to me in the past twenty-four hours.” She extended her hand toward him and wiggled her fingers.

Her pensive voice was muffled by the boom of the waves, and he had to lean close to hear her. “How so?”

“I have a lot of baggage, Nathan, as you know. Meeting you forced me to take a hard look at a lot of it. And to accept the fact that people who have done bad things can change. Letting go of my views on that score has been tough for me. But I thought I’d managed it. Until my money went missing and Zach found the bracelet in your toolbox.”

She made another attempt to brush off the grains still stuck to her fingers, yet some remained. “Like this sand, I discovered some of my prejudices were still clinging to me. But since you left, I did a lot of soul-searching. And I purged them from my heart.”

Lacing her fingers in her lap, her expression grew earnest. “Here’s the thing, Nathan. I can’t take back that moment of doubt. I wish I could. But I can promise you it’s gone forever. With every fiber of my being, I know you could no more steal money or a bracelet than I could neglect Zach. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for my brief lapse of faith in you. All I can do is try my best to make up for it in the future—if you think we still might have one. And if you can dig deep in your heart and find a way to forgive me.”

Catherine’s earnest apology rekindled the tiny ember of hope buried beneath the ashes in his heart. Looking into her emerald eyes, mere inches from his, he saw nothing but sincerity.

And love.

Which made it all the more difficult to pull back. But he had to do that for the same reason she’d moved forward.

Love.

“The forgiveness part is easy, Catherine.” He took one of her hands, brushed off the last of the clinging grains, and twined his fingers with hers. “But your lapse, as you called it, forced me do some hard thinking. I care for you and Zach. A lot. And I was beginning to think we had a future, too. But after all that’s happened, I realized that by associating with me, you and Zach would be tainted by my mistakes. People could shun you. That wouldn’t be fair to either of you.”

A spark of anger flared to life in the depth of her green eyes. “If people can’t judge you for who you are now, then I don’t care what they think of me. And I wouldn’t want to associate with those kind of people, anyway.”

While her loyal words heartened him, there was more. “There’s a risk, too, Catherine. I learned that today. If J.C. hadn’t stood up for me, I would have been back behind bars. And no matter how hard I try to keep my nose clean, if I cross paths with the wrong kind of person, it could happen again. In a suspicious situation, my record will always work against me.”

Her nostrils flared, and her eyes narrowed. “I don’t think there are many people around as vindictive as the customer you had the misfortune to run into. I’m not worried about that, Nathan. And as for Danielle Price—we’re not going to back off from this fight. I doubt your brother will let you, and I don’t intend to, either.”

We.

The word echoed like the peal of joyous bells in his mind. And told him two things. She considered them a team. And she didn’t know he’d been cleared. But of course, she wouldn’t. Who would have told her?

Meaning she’d come out here today believing in him de
spite Danielle’s accusation. Despite that brief flicker of doubt in her eyes as they’d stood in front of her house.

As he tried to grasp the significance of that, she angled toward him and took his other hand. “Earlier today, as I was trying to figure out how to make amends, Zach gave me some good advice. He said, ‘Just tell him we really like him. And it’s lonesome here without him. Tell him it feels like a rainy day even when the sun is shining.’ I can’t improve on his language. So if you’re willing to give this another go, I’d like to see where things might lead between us. Because the truth is, I…I think I’m falling in love with you. What do you say?”

The ember of hope in his heart burst into a flame that burned steady and strong. He wasn’t certain what the future might hold for the two of them. But all at once he
was
certain he couldn’t pass up the opportunity for happiness the Lord had sent his way. Whatever challenges their tomorrows might hold, Catherine’s earnest speech and the warmth and determination in her eyes convinced him she was willing—and able—to meet them. As long as he stood by her side.

Which was exactly where he wanted to be.

“I say yes.”

The tension in her features eased, and a slow smile lifted her lips as she leaned toward him. “Do you think we could put some action behind those words?”

Nathan didn’t need any further encouragement. He leaned in, too—in time to hear a loud rumble from the vicinity of her stomach.

Flushing with embarrassment, she dipped her head and laid a hand on her abdomen. “Talk about ruining a romantic moment.”

He chuckled. “I’m a little hungry myself. I skipped lunch.” In truth, his appetite had returned with a vengeance.

“I only had a few spoonfuls of soup.”

“How about we dip into Edith’s cookies first? Feed the body before we feed the soul?”

She smiled and picked up the small insulated container. “Okay by me.”

Setting it on her lap, she unzipped the top and withdrew two sodas. After passing one to Nathan, she pulled out a plastic bag of cookies. As she examined them, the soft blush retuned to her cheeks.

“What?” He leaned closer for a better look.

“She said she’d been saving these for a special occasion…” Catherine’s words trailed off and she tipped the bag his way.

Edith had packed them heart-shaped shortbread cookies.

He burst out laughing. “The Lighthouse Lane matchmaker strikes again.”

Catherine gave him a puzzled look. “What are you talking about?”

“Over the past few years, Edith has built quite a reputation as a matchmaker. And she’s had us in her sights for weeks.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. And so far she’s batting a thousand.” He took the packet, pulled a cookie out for each of them and lifted his soda can in salute. “To Edith.”

She clinked her can with his, and in short order they’d each demolished three cookies.

When he reached for cookie number four, she smiled. “You might want to save room for some cake. That is, if you still want to have that wrap party. A two-layer chocolate fudge supreme is waiting. And so is Zach.”

He withdrew his hand. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Are we on for fireworks tomorrow night, too?”

The wind tossed some strands of hair across her face, and he lifted his hand to brush them aside, fingering their silky softness. Then he took her soda can and set it in the sand.