A Father's Promise (10 page)

As she opened the book, Renee allowed her mind to wander. Her and Zach and Tricia.

Her daughter.

Renee clutched the book against her chest, afraid to allow her hope to fully take root, yet realizing that she and Zach were moving toward something more serious.

Dear Lord,
she prayed.
I hardly dare hope. Hardly dare dream. Please help me to trust that You will take me through this all. Help me to know You will watch out for me.

“You okay?”

Renee’s head shot up at her friend’s question. She looked around, as if getting her bearings.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“And I’m finally done for the day. I thought Jeff would never leave.”

“Jeff?”

“Deptuck. He’s the new fireman in town. He’s been assigned to do a potential-hazard assessment on the stores downtown, especially this bookstore and Mia’s flower shop. Plus, he heard about our book club and wants to join.” Evangeline rolled her eyes. “I think he’s just trying to find a way to make a move on Mia.”

“You sound jealous.”

Evangeline waved her comment off.

“What’s the problem? He’s cute and single,” Renee continued with a grin.

“Not my type.”

“Why? Because he’s doesn’t talk with an English accent? Not too many dukes and lords around Hartley Creek, my girl.”

“No, but Zach is here,” Evangeline said. “Kissing you in broad daylight. Looks like things are getting pretty serious between you two.”

Renee smiled slightly. She wasn’t sure she wanted the tentative emotions she and Zach were dealing with brought out into the bright light of day.

But at the same time, having Evangeline to talk to about it helped make it seem more real.

“We’re taking it one step at a time,” Renee said quietly.

“Of course. I imagine he’s considering Tricia’s needs,” Evangeline said. “Are you thinking of buying that?”

Renee looked down at the book she was holding and smiled. “I thought I would give it to Tricia.”

“I know she likes horses, just like her dad.”

“She does. In fact we are... Zach is taking me riding tomorrow afternoon. At Carter Beck’s ranch.”

“Nice.” Evangeline’s expression turned all starry-eyed. “Horseback riding with Zach and no kids. How romantic.”

“What’s romantic?” Mia Verbeek called out, coming out of the back room of the bookstore, pulling her sweater off and tossing it into a chair Evangeline had set out in a corner. “I hope you’re not talking about the book yet. We’re the only ones here right now.”

“No. I’m talking about the ride Renee is taking with Zach tomorrow. And I’m talking about the kiss Zach popped on Miss Albertson’s innocent lips just a few moments ago.”

Mia’s eyes widened, and her mouth fell open. “Really? Zach and our Renee?”

“It was just a kiss,” Renee said, trying to bring everything back into perspective. If she didn’t dial things down, her friends would have her married off by the end of the evening.

Mia waggled a finger of denial. “Says the woman who only two weeks ago told us she wasn’t pining for any man, especially not Zach Truscott.” She gave Evangeline a smug look.

Once again Renee felt a flush warming her cheeks. Seriously, she was reverting to high school.

“And the blush tells it all,” Mia said with a victorious grin.

Renee took a breath, then held her hand up. “Please, girls, you have to keep this quiet. Zach has Tricia to think of, and it’s not fair if, well, if she thinks something is happening and it isn’t.”

“Then Zach shouldn’t have kissed you on Main Street.”

They all laughed, but then Evangeline patted Renee on the shoulder, her expression growing more serious. “We’ll keep it quiet. I promise.” Then she shook her head, her expression growing dreamy again. “This is so great.”

“Yeah. Maybe you might even have something positive to say about the romance novel Evangeline picked,” Mia added, giving Renee a gentle elbow in the side as they walked to the back of the store.

“I just might,” Renee returned. “Though I have to admit, it was better than some of the other ones you’ve picked,” she said to Evangeline.

“Perspective,” her friend said, sweeping her hair back from her face. “It’s all a matter of perspective.”

Chapter Ten

“H
old easy there, Bandit.” Zach caught the restive horse’s bridle and held it just long enough to catch his attention. The bay settled and flicked his ears, looking back as if to apologize.

Zach patted him on the neck, then went back to adjusting the stirrups for Renee.

He glanced over his shoulder to where Renee stood, chatting with Emma and Carter. Her blue jeans looked good on her, as did the gray corduroy shirt and green puffy vest. She wore her hair loose, and a stray breeze tossed it around her face in a halo of golden-brown.

Renee pushed her hair back with her hand, then she shot him a smiling glance over her shoulder. As always, Zach felt the curious connection between them. More and more, he realized each moment he spent with her cemented his feelings for her.

Emma walked over and he looked up.

“You got Renee’s stirrups adjusted?” Emma asked.

“All ready to go,” he said, giving one final tug, just to make sure. Bandit stamped and snorted as Zach’s horse moved closer to him.

“So you know where to go?” Emma asked, shifting her baby on her arm and patting Duke, Zach’s palomino.

“Carter gave me directions, and I have my cell phone in case I get really lost,” Zach said with a grin.

Emma glanced over to Renee, who was talking to Carter. “I don’t think getting lost with Renee would be such a bad thing,” she said.

Zach looked over at Renee, who was laughing at something Carter said.

Then Renee walked toward him, a vague smile edging her lips.

“Hey. Got your horse ready to go,” he said. “Do you need a hand getting up?”

“I’m okay,” she said. Then with one surprisingly agile move she mounted up, settled in the saddle and shook her hair back from her face as she caught up the reins. Bandit shuffled his hooves, snorted again and shook his head, but Renee didn’t seem fazed by his behavior.

“He’s a good horse,” Zach told her, handing up the halter rope to her. “Just eager to get going.”

“We’ll get along just fine, won’t we, boy?” Renee said, giving Bandit a couple of pats on the neck. As she straightened, she gave Zach a wide smile. “I’m looking forward to this. I haven’t been riding in so long.”

“You look pretty natural,” he said, looking up at her, silhouetted against a blue sky edged by the mountains beyond.

She shrugged off his praise, but her smile told him that she took it to heart.

“Just so you know, if you get up to the pasture, there’s a fork in the trail that will bring you past an old trapper’s cabin,” Emma said to Renee. “But if you keep going along the pasture, you’ll find a spot where you get a gorgeous view of the valley. Just keep the Shadow Woman’s mountain on your right and you won’t get lost.”

“Thanks for the tip,” Renee said. “And thanks again for letting us ride here.”

“No problem. If you two aren’t back by dark, though, we’ll send a search party.”

Renee laughed again.

Zach climbed onto the saddle of his horse. He settled in, then turned to Renee. “Ready?”

“You have the snacks?” Emma asked.

Zach leaned over to check the saddlebag that Emma had packed for them, and nodded.

“Have fun,” Emma said, stepping back as she lifted Courtney to her shoulder, patting the little bundle of baby. Her tiny head wavered a moment, then dropped onto Emma’s shoulder.

Zach caught Renee watching them, a rueful expression on her face.

Was she thinking of the day she’d given Tricia away?

“Have a good time,” Emma called out as she walked back to the house, still holding her baby close.

Zach waved, then pulled his horse around, following a well-worn trail leading away from the ranch.

They rode past the corrals, the smaller house that Carter’s Nana Beck used to live in, then down a well-worn path toward the hills tucked against the mountains.

He looked back to check on Renee, only to catch her looking at him, her smile lighting up her features.

“Don’t get us lost,” she said with a laugh.

“I’ll try not to,” he returned.

They crossed a wooden bridge, the hooves of the horses beating out a hollow, uneven rhythm, the water bubbling over rocks beneath them.

They hit the path beyond, and then the trail wound into the tall, shadowy trees. The utter silence of the forest, broken only by the footfalls of the horses on the damp ground, washed over Zach, easing away the busyness of the week. The path was wide enough that he and Renee could ride side by side.

“I’m so glad you invited me along,” Renee said. “It’s so wonderful to be riding again.”

“I’m glad you came, too,” he said, looking at her, then at the trail ahead of them, dappled by the sunshine breaking through the canopy of leaves that sheltered them. “This is amazing.”

Renee looked away from him, leaning to one side as if trying to see something.

“Are you looking for something?”

“I think it’s too early, but from up here you can often see the Shadow Woman that Emma was talking about.”

“Shadow Woman? What is that?”

“It’s a legend. Not sure of the origin. But it’s about a woman who was done wrong by her man and is waiting for him to return. She only shows up like a shadow picture on the mountain when the light is just right.”

“Where is she?”

Renee stopped her horse and pointed. “See that rock face? The sheer bluff above the trees to the right of that huge cleft? The shadow is on that rock face. You can just see her coming out. She’s wearing a dress, looking like she’s leaning forward, as if she’s waiting.”

“Did her love ever come back for her?” Zach asked, resting his arms on the horn of his saddle as he squinted at the rock face.

“No one knows. That’s the interesting part of the legend. That creates some tension, like any good story.”

“I prefer the endings of my story to be happy,” he said, turning to look at her.

She shrugged then looked away. “Doesn’t always happen.”

He wondered if she was referring to her own story, but decided to leave it be.

“When you and Tricia went riding, back in Ontario, where would you go?” Renee asked.

“There were parks with riding paths, but they were nothing like this.” Zach looked behind him at the creek that ran down the hill beside them.

“Will the horses be okay?”

“They’re a bit out of shape, but we won’t be riding them hard today. Carter said it was an easy trail.”

They rode in silence for a while, climbing higher with every step. Zach’s attention was divided between working with his horse and the welcome distraction of Renee beside him.

He shot another glance her way, then moved his horse closer. “You were okay with leaving your shop for the afternoon?”

“To go riding?” Renee motioned to the break in the trees. “Oh, yeah.”

They already looked down on the pastures of Carter’s ranch. Beyond the fields rose the mountains, skirted with green breaking to rugged rocks, the jagged peaks iced with glistening snow.

“Pretty incredible,” Zach said. “I’m so glad I made the decision to move here. I can’t imagine that this will be available to me anytime I want.”

“It is spectacular. I’ll miss it if—” Renee stopped speaking, and Zach knew she was talking about when she and her mother would leave.

He felt a twist of sorrow and a whispering of second thoughts, but latched onto the last word she ended the sentence with. “What do you mean, ‘if’?”

Renee sighed. “I’m not sure if we’re going anymore. My mother’s been talking about postponing the program, even dropping out of it altogether.”

“Is she sure about that?” Zach said, his optimism rising. Renee might not be leaving.

“She’s sure enough. I can’t make her do this, and if she’s not one hundred percent committed to the therapy, it won’t work.”

“Why do you think she’s changed her mind?”

Renee shrugged. “She was talking about the success rate, which isn’t a hundred percent, but she’s known that from the beginning. My mother doesn’t let go of an idea easily. So whatever is making her change her mind, I think it’s pretty big.”

Then another thought washed over Zach like a bucket of ice water. “Could she have found out...about Tricia?”

Renee gave a decisive shake of her head. “She doesn’t know. Not from me. I was afraid that if she did find out, she’d postpone the therapy for sure. But I’ve been careful, and I imagine you and your father have, as well. Besides, it isn’t only my secret to keep.”

Zach nodded, his saddle creaking as he moved. “My father is a principled man. Client confidentiality is sacrosanct with him.”

“So Tricia isn’t the reason, as far as I know,” Renee said, tugging slightly on the reins, holding her horse back to keep pace with Zach’s. “But, as I said, she’s adamant.”

Zach was unable to stop an uplifting rush of happiness. If the program was postponed, maybe even put off, Renee would be free to make plans. For the future.

Did he dare take a chance? In spite of what Renee just told him, he couldn’t help but feel cautious, concerned.

“And how do
you
feel about her decision?” Zach asked.

Renee looked ahead, frowning as she contemplated his question.

“I’m not so sure how I feel anymore. Once, it was the most important thing in my life. I thought her healing would...free me.”

Zach heard the hitch in her voice and nudged his horse lightly in the ribs, a signal to move sideways. Closer to Renee’s horse. “Free you from guilt?” He spoke the words quietly. Simply.

Renee nodded. “And though I’ve tried to let go, I still feel guilty about my mother being in the wheelchair.”

“It was an accident,” Zach said, keeping his voice low, nonthreatening. “A mistake made by a young girl who had a lot to deal with.”

Renee looked away, out over the vista they caught from time to time through the trees.

The creek was like a silver ribbon unspooling across the fields. The buildings of the ranch lay below them like tiny boxes dotting the yard. Zach hadn’t realized how far they had climbed.

“I’ve told myself that, and though my mother has forgiven me repeatedly,” Renee said, her voice a hushed sound barely audible above the breeze whispering through the trees above, “it’s hard to let go when I’m faced with the consequences of what I’ve done every time I look at my mother in the wheelchair. Kind of hard to know what to do with all that guilt.”

“And you think it would go away if your mother could walk again?”

“I always thought if she got better, then all the sacrifices I made would be worth it.”

“The sacrifice of giving up Tricia.”

“Yes.”

Zach was quiet, uncertain how to deal with this revelation. He couldn’t treat it lightly. Yet, when she had broken down in his arms, she had confessed to feelings she hadn’t shared with too many others. It had created a bond between them that he couldn’t deny.

Please, Lord, help me to say the right thing.
Help her to feel Your forgiveness. To know she is carrying burdens she doesn’t need to carry.

“Do you think God has forgiven you?” he asked.

Renee’s head spun around so quickly her horse startled. She reached down and patted Bandit on the neck, speaking soothing words. Then she sat up again, tossing him a puzzled look. “Why do you ask that?”

“I’m thinking you keep picking up a burden of guilt that your mother and God have tried repeatedly to take away from you.”

“Forgiveness doesn’t change the repercussions of the accident both for my mother and Tricia.” Renee’s voice carried a harsh note, as if she was trying to convince herself more than Zach.

“If your mother has forgiven you, I would be sure God has even more so.”

Renee said nothing for a while, and Zach hoped he hadn’t overstepped a line.

“Maybe.” She conveyed a stark look. “Seems too easy to just let go, though.”

“Always does,” Zach said. “I think you need to set aside what you think should happen. You need to trust that your mother has prayed about this, as well. Maybe you need to know that God is not only in charge of your mother’s life, but yours, as well.”

Renee shook her head, her hair falling across her cheek. She pushed it aside, then looked at him. “I think if I were completely honest, part of me is relieved that my mother doesn’t want to go through with the therapy. That’s also what I’ve been struggling with.”

“But why?”

“I was worried myself about the program. What if it didn’t help Mom as I’d hoped? What if, after all that time and money, nothing changed? And, the reality is, there are other things to consider now.” She looked directly at him, a smile on her lips. “I have other things on my mind confusing me and shifting my priorities.” She laughed.

“And that would be?” he prompted, sensing she needed help articulating what they might be.

“You.”

That single word found a sweet place in his heart, soothing away his misgivings. This was okay. This could work.

Right?

He pushed aside his concerns. Right now he was up in the beautiful mountains, alone with a woman who was growing more important to him by the day.

He reached over and took her hand in his.

“You’ve been on my mind, as well.”

Renee caught her lip between her teeth, her hand tightening her grip on his, her face silhouetted against the green of the trees behind her. “We said we’d go along and see where this led.” Her eyes shone with a light that kindled his hope. “And I like where it’s leading.”

“You’re allowed to be happy, Renee,” Zach said, trying to sound neutral.

Renee’s smile blossomed. “It just seems too good to be true.”

Then she leaned over, and her lips brushed his cheek. The horses pulled away from each other, and Renee laughed. Zach reined his horse in, and Renee did the same.

Then he leaned closer, and this time they shared a proper kiss. When they broke away, he smiled at her, and lifted her hand to his lips.

For now, nothing more needed to be said.

He suppressed all his worries and concerns about Tricia. Right now, he was spending time with the woman who had captured his heart.

The mother of his daughter.

* * *

“That’s a lovely color on you. You haven’t worn that dress in ages.”