A Father's Sins: A Pride and Prejudice Variation (5 page)

At
first, she thought that Georgiana would hold onto her troubles, but then she
started to talk.

“In
July of this year, my brother removed me from school and set up house for me
along with my new companion, Mrs. Younge, at the seashore. It was the first
time I had been on my own and William trusted I would be able to enjoy my time
by the sea. I had been ill and the family surgeon believed that the salty air
would be of benefit to my lungs.” She paused in her narration, looking at her
tightly gripped hands in her lap. “It wasn’t long before we were joined in
Ramsgate by my oldest brother, Mr. George Wickham.” Georgiana’s face became
red, her breathing became shallow, and she looked like she was going to cry. “George
was my father’s favorite. When I was much younger, he would spend time playing
with me and was so much fun.” She paused at the pleasant memories. A small
smile played at her lips. Elizabeth waited patiently.

“I
guess…. I guess I should go back to the beginning.” Georgiana continued.
“Before my father and mother married, my father lived the life of most
gentlemen of the ton. He fell in love with a woman who was unsuitable as the
Mistress of Pemberley. They had a child together and the woman died in
childbirth. Grandfather Darcy was angry with my father for his indiscretion.
The child was taken to our steward, Mr. Wickham, whose wife had been unable to
have a child. They were so happy to have George to care for and my father was
very pleased to have him close. About that time, my other grandfather, the Earl
of Smithton, arranged a marriage between my parents. In the marriage settlement,
it was agreed that the firstborn son from that marriage would be the heir of
Pemberley and all other Darcy estates and assets. The Darcys needed my mother’s
dowry and wanted the position of having the daughter of an Earl in the family,
so readily agreed to that arrangement. For many years, George remained apart
from Pemberley. Oh, I understand that my father was delighted with his
firstborn and spent much time with the Wickhams and with George. When my mother
died at my birth, that situation changed. George was then four and ten and William
was two years younger. I grew up with the attention of both brothers, as by
then, George was firmly established at Pemberley. They both attended school
together and both would spoil me when they came home during holidays. I dearly
loved both of my brothers. For all that, the older they got, the more I began
to notice tension between them. Or, maybe,” she pondered, “the older I got I
was able to notice the difficulties between them. George was cruel to William,
but only when my Father was not aware. I never was witness to William
retaliating.”

Again,
she hesitated as if not knowing where to go at this point. “William has always
been studious, responsible, and kind. George liked to go from one adventure to
another. One time, I was going to my Father’s study to talk to him when I
overheard George asking for money to cover some gambling debts. My Father gave
him the money willingly. I do know that I should not have listened, but the
conversation was complete before I could retreat from the room. William would
never gamble. Then, when I was nine years old, my maid, who was a pretty girl,
was sent away because there was some trouble with George. I did not know the
reason until much, much later.” She was crying now. “Mrs. Reynolds, our
housekeeper, told the mother of my maid that George had forced her.” I handed
her my handkerchief, which she twisted and twisted in agitation. “Elizabeth, I
know that it was improper for me to listen to the conversation between my
father and George, and between Mrs. Reynolds and my maid’s mother, however, I later
deeply appreciated this information.”

“From
that time on, William took care to keep me away from George. I did not
understand because I was so young and I was angry with William for a long
period of time. When I was ten years of age, my Father died unexpectedly. In
fact, it was five years yesterday since it happened.”

Elizabeth
was stunned. Five years on November 11
^th
was the same date of the
death of her dearest siblings; certainly a day of great loss for both families.
Georgiana’s words cut into her thoughts.

“After
Ramsgate, I clearly saw the bad in my older brother.” Now the tears streamed
down her cheeks into her lap. “Apparently George owed a large amount of money
to some unsavory men. My older brother knew that my father had settled a large
dowry of 30,000 pounds upon me when I marry. George arranged, with help from my
companion Mrs. Younge, for me to be in a compromising situation with the evil
man he owed. The plan was that we would be forced to marry and William would
have to sign over my dowry as a settlement of that debt. They also planned that
in marriage, they would be able to access additional funds from William for my
continued care.” Georgiana stopped speaking and looked me directly in the eye.
“William came to Ramsgate unexpectedly and was able to discern the plot and
stop the events from happening. There was a terrible argument whereupon Mrs.
Younge left my employment and George was chased away by William. What has
happened to either of them, I am unaware. I have not seen George since Ramsgate.”

“Oh,
Georgiana, dear,” Elizabeth reached over and held her hand. “I am so very sorry
that this happened to you. You were so young and knew not to doubt your older
brother’s sincerity. Surely, you can see that you have no blame?”

“That’s
what William has said, but, I see the burden he carries and I feel I have only
added to it unnecessarily. If only… if only I had been wiser.” She looked up at
Elizabeth, pleading in her eyes.

“Georgiana,
I do not understand why you would feel that way. Do you think that Mr. Darcy
expected or even wanted you to know those things about your brother?”

“He
did not.”

“Then,
I do not understand why you would regret your actions or opinions towards him.
Would not it have disappointed Mr. Darcy more had you, in fact, been aware of
the wicked intentions planned for you?”

In
a small voice, Georgiana whispered, “Yes. I just do not want to disappoint
William.”

“Has
he told you that he is disappointed in you?”

“Not
at all,” she quickly replied.

“You
silly girl,” Elizabeth tapped the back of her hand to get her to raise her eyes
to her. “Is not this the very means of getting wisdom? It has been said that
experience is the best teacher. Have you considered what you have learned from
this experience? You have certainly learned who you can and cannot trust. You
have also learned the sad fact that there is true evil in the world and that
not everyone, including family members, has your best interests in their
hearts. This means you are learning to be discerning and wise. Is not this a
good thing to learn at so young an age?”

“I
guess so, Elizabeth.” Georgina hesitated, “I have never spoken of this before. I
am so happy to know you and to be your friend, Elizabeth.”

“And
I am happy too.” Elizabeth decided to lighten the mood. “Now, please, tell me
something about yourself. How do you spend your leisure time? What activities
do you personally enjoy?” The conversation went on for many hours and, at
Elizabeth excusing herself to check on her sister, the two arranged to meet in
the early morning for a walk about the grounds. It had been a good night.

Elizabeth
was delighted and relieved to see Jane’s improvement. Her sister desired to
return to Longbourn the next day. Elizabeth felt that Jane would benefit from
resting a few more days at Netherfield Park, but her sister was insistent.

The
next morning, after a long walk and talk with Georgiana, Jane, again, told
Elizabeth that she would like to return to Longbourn. At breakfast, Mr. Bingley
made every effort to reason with Jane and Elizabeth that they needed to stay
longer. “Being outside, exposed to the air may be dangerous to her lungs. The
jostling of the carriage over the rough lane might be dangerous to her lungs.
The lack of bright, warm sunshine might be dangerous to her lungs.” It was a
valiant effort, but Jane was determined to see her parents. Elizabeth observed,
with puzzlement, Jane’s reaction to Mr. Bingley. It seemed that the pull of her
parents far outweighed the pull of a possible suitor.

Bags
were packed and the carriage was called for. In the entry hallway, the Bingleys
and Darcys gathered to extend their farewells. Miss Bingley and the Hursts
barely acknowledged the two sisters. While Mr. Bingley issued his sincere
regrets to Jane, the Darcys took Elizabeth aside and asked if they could call
on her on the morrow to see if Miss Bennet was still improving and to further
their acquaintance.

“Georgiana,”
Elizabeth said, “I have a journal that you may be interested in reading.
Actually, your brother helped me find it in the bookstore six years ago. In
fact, when I looked at the volumes after we visited last night, I was surprised
to find that the very date we had been discussing in your room happens to be
the same date I met your brother. I had noted it in the front plate of the book
at the time of purchase. So, you see, November 11
^th
is not such a
bad day after all, since it also is the date we met. Do you not agree?”

“Oh
yes, Elizabeth.” They hugged tightly and confirmed that they both looked
forward to seeing each other the next day.

“Until
tomorrow, Miss Elizabeth,” Darcy bowed while Elizabeth curtseyed and the
sisters left on the three mile journey from Netherfield Park to Longbourn.
Their travel passed in silence. Jane, contemplating the upcoming confrontation,
hoping that all would be well and the passage of time would bring peace to her
family; Elizabeth dreading what was to come.

When
they came into view of Longbourn, Elizabeth was appalled at the outward
condition of the home and grounds. Neglect was apparent and the sight brought
no comfort to her, only agony. As the carriage came to a halt, she looked at
the front entry to see only Hill and her Father standing by the door. Hill had
a smile of welcome on his wrinkled face. Her father was angry and impatient.
This would not be a good meeting and Elizabeth braced herself for what was to
come.

Netherfield Park, Hertfordshire

After
the carriage left for Longbourn, Darcy asked Georgiana to accompany him to Bingley’s
study for a private conversation. Miss Bingley had started abusing both Bennet
sisters the moment they had crossed the threshold to return home and Darcy
wanted his sister removed from that vicious attitude.

He
examined Georgiana as she walked down the hall and into the room to stand
before the window. The view out the window was unspectacular, but allowed for a
partial glimpse of the roadway leading away from Netherfield Park. It seemed
she was watching the carriage as it moved toward Longbourn. “You are troubled,
Georgie?”

Georgiana
turned toward him as he walked up beside her to get a last glimpse of his own. As
Darcy watched the carriage, she noted that William looked troubled as well.
“Did you not want her to go?” It had surprised her to see William so joyous at
seeing Elizabeth. It was not his nature to smile easily, yet that was what she
had seen several times over the past two days and she clearly understood those
smiles were
not
for Miss Bingley.

”I
did not want Miss Elizabeth to go, Georgiana.” He smiled down at her. “I think
that she would be a wonderful friend to you and, from the amount of time you
spent in each other’s company, I think you feel the same. Tell me, please, what
were your impressions of her?” It had puzzled Darcy that he was so instantly
comfortable with Elizabeth. He recognized that she made the effort to draw
others out and to include them in pleasant conversation; both things that he realized
were sources of constant struggle for him. As Bingley had mentioned only two
days before, he was often perceived as stern and taciturn, which left the
impression of pride and arrogance. Darcy had much to be proud of. He had one of
the largest estates in all of England and he managed it well. Pemberley had
prospered during the five years that he had been master. A Cambridge education,
supplemented by extensive reading, a tight circle of close friends, and the
respect and admiration of his acquaintances for outstanding integrity in
business and moral issues elevated Darcy above many, if not most, of his peers.
He knew that Georgiana suffered from the same shyness that afflicted him. If
she could feel comfortable in Elizabeth’s presence as well, he could only
encourage the friendship to grow by continuing association.

“Oh,
William, I could not help but be impressed with her wisdom and her kindness. I
told her everything. I am afraid that I poured out my heart to her. She treated
it with the tenderness of one whom I had known for many years, instead of a new
acquaintance. Elizabeth helped me to see how I may learn from my experiences
with George and how it could benefit me in the future. She never condemned me…
not even remotely. I only wish that I could provide her the same relief, as
this day must prove to be her most difficult.”

“Whatever
do you mean, sister?”

“William,
Elizabeth is now proceeding to a meeting with a father she has not seen in five
years. This morning, as we walked, she briefly told me that on the same day we
lost our own good father, she lost her dear little brother to the plague. Her
three younger sisters died from that same illness as well. Even though she was
but five and ten years of age with no real training in medicine, her father
placed the blame on her for their death and immediately banished her from her
home. Due to the kindness of one of the servants, she was able to make her way
to her relatives in London. Her uncle is in trade. He has an import/export
business that required him and his family to travel the globe. They took
Elizabeth with them and she used this opportunity to study and learn all she
was able in the arts of healing and caring for those who are ill. It then did
not surprise me how quickly she was able to reduce Miss Bennet’s fever and help
her on the road to recovery. William,” Georgiana’s eyes pleaded with her
brother, “Elizabeth assisted me greatly, so much so that I was able to sleep
through the night last night, at peace for the first time since Ramsgate. I
long to assist her and would ask that if something comes to mind that you would
share it with me. I believe now that she is the one that needs a friend.”

Darcy
was touched by his sister’s depth of feeling. With their position in society,
it was often the case that people sought their friendship for what they might
receive from a closer relationship. The Bingley sisters were of that sort. So
was his half-brother, George. He thought of his first meeting with Miss
Elizabeth and a mental picture of a happy, young girl with smiling eyes
immediately entered his mind. That something so dire could happen to someone so
innocent was unconscionable. The thought had crossed his mind six years ago
that the young miss would possibly make a fine friend to his little sister. How
correct his instincts had been. Now, he pondered the changes that one poor
decision could make on the lives of others. They had that in common, they did.
One poor decision on the part of her father sentenced her to remain away from
an apparently beloved sister and her home. One poor decision on the part of his
own father had burdened him with a despot for a brother who cared not for his
father’s estate, only the wealth and prestige it provided.

“Georgie,”
he came to a decision, “though disguise of any sort is abhorrent to me, I
believe that we are obligated to pay a call on the Miss Bennets during visiting
hours today to inquire as to the process Miss Elizabeth used in caring for her
sister. We cannot possibly know when we might have need of such vital
information, do you not agree?”

“Yes,
William.” A bright smile lit Georgiana’s face. “It is vital indeed.”

“Let
us inform Bingley. It would not surprise me at all if he would desire to
accompany us to Longbourn.” The two left the study to prepare for making a call
that very afternoon.

Mr.
Bingley had felt pain in his heart as he watched the carriage containing Miss
Jane Bennet and her sister leaving Netherfield Park. It had disturbed him that
Jane had not wanted to extend her stay in his household. He considered it a
fine testimony, however, that she was so concerned about the health and welfare
of her parents. Darcy teased, on those rare occasions when Darcy’s humor
surfaced, that ‘Charles Bingley falls in and out of love as often as he walks
in and out of a room’. While there was a certain element of truth contained in
that tease, Bingley had never experienced the deep stirrings that he felt when
he was in Miss Bennet’s company.

Bingley
had been reared by ambitious parents, who wanted their children to rise above
their roots in trade. School had been a torment to him as those of elevated
rank reminded him daily where his roots should stay firmly planted. It wasn’t
until Darcy stepped in and defended him from titled bullies that he found his
way clear to stand up for himself. Darcy was several years older, several inches
taller, had the strength in his arms and legs of one who worked the land along
with his tenants, and brooked no arguments with young hooligans, no matter
their parentage.

The
Bennets were landed gentry, which would be a step up for Charles Bingley. He
could not imagine a more fitting partner for his future than Miss Jane Bennet.
Therefore, he was quick to agree to a visit to Longbourn, running upstairs to
ready himself.

Longbourn, Hertfordshire

After
a brief glance at her father, Elizabeth chose to focus on Hill. This man had
saved her from certain harm. His care for her throughout her early years and
gift of coin when she left had guaranteed her safety on her journey to London.
Her small smile was for him only.

Mr.
Hill had loved Elizabeth as if she were his own. It was to him and his wife
that Miss Lizzy would come when her scrapes needed cleaning and bandaging, when
her tears needed wiped from her rosy cheeks, and when she needed a sympathetic
ear. From an early age, Elizabeth had marched to a much different tune than her
sisters. Mrs. Bennet favored the eldest daughter, Jane, because of her gentle
beauty, showering her with constant praise. She also favored her youngest two
daughters, Kitty and Lydia, because they so closely replicated her own self-indulgent
personality. Elizabeth was scorned by her mother while the middle sister Mary
was ignored. When the heir came along, Mrs. Bennet diverted her attention fully
to young Thomas. This caused uproar in the household as Kitty and Lydia vied
for the renewed attention of their parents, which they never received.  Jane,
in an effort to keep peace at Longbourn, pampered her two youngest sisters,
which was only a temporary respite from the tumult. Mary withdrew more and more
into her books and her musings. Elizabeth, who young Thomas favored the most,
was constantly criticized by her mother for involving her little brother in
adventures that his mother felt were unacceptable to a young gentleman. Mr. and
Mrs. Hill understood Elizabeth’s love of the countryside and knew it to be a
refuge for the young miss, keeping her away from the constant fault-finding of
her mother. The affection that the Hills felt for Miss Lizzy was lovingly
returned.

As
she and Jane walked up to the doorway, she looked her father directly in the
eye and determined that she would not submissively look away first. She was
not
five and ten years of age any more. She had done things and seen places that he
had only read about. She was not returning to her home riddled with guilt over
wrongdoing. It had been
his
error and his alone.

“Come
to my study, now!” her father demanded. She raised one brow. He had not even
the courtesy to call her by name or extend a polite welcome. This did not bode
well for any future encounters and certainly not the one that would immediately
take place. Hill moved to the carriage to remove their luggage and Jane went
into the house. Elizabeth could hear her mother’s shrill voice asking Jane if
she had yet secured the affections and attentions of Mr. Bingley. Elizabeth
continued to focus her gaze on her father. Finally, after what seemed like many
minutes had passed, her father turned into the house and walked directly to his
study. Elizabeth sighed heavily and followed. It was a small victory for her
that her father at least stood and held the door open for her until he slammed
it behind her and commanded her to “sit” like he did when irritated at the
family dog.

“I
requested your immediate attendance in my express. Were you not capable of
understanding such a simple message?” Sarcasm oozed out of every word.
Elizabeth chose to stand. She would not give ground. “You are only at Longbourn
because your mother has determined that Jane can do better than my heir.” The disdain
in his voice when he said “heir” was obvious. “If I had another daughter I
certainly would never have you return. But, I do not have another daughter, do
I, Lizzy?”

Hatred
emanated off him in waves that washed over Elizabeth with force. It was
unimaginable that he, who had claimed to love her especially, could hold onto
such anger for so long. Before that thought had settled in her mind, there was
a firm knock at the door. Without waiting for a reply, the door was opened and
her mother, accompanied by a short, rotund gentleman, entered.

Oblivious
to the tension that surrounded her husband and least-favorite daughter, Mrs.
Bennet grabbed the man by the arm and pulled him toward Elizabeth. “Lizzy, you
must meet your betrothed, Mr. Collins. It is all settled and I have finished
the plans for a simple wedding, one fitting the position of wife to a
clergyman.” She reached around and pulled Mr. Collins closer, prompting him to
“get on with it.”

Mr.
Collins was sweating profusely which added to his already rather fragrant aura.
“
Did the man never bathe?”
Elizabeth wondered. She watched as he rubbed
his hands down the side of his jacket and used the back of his forearm to wipe
his brow. He opened his mouth several times as if to speak, but only sounds
similar to a croaking toad were heard.

Not
one to allow nerves in others to ruin an occasion, her mother finally blurted
out, “Lizzy, Mr. Collins has told me that you are the companion of his future
life. Is that not sweet?” Sweet was not the word that came to Elizabeth’s mind.
“You
will
be a good wife to this gentleman and you
will
resume
the care and attention you always gave to Longbourn, is that clear?”

Mr.
Collins must have agreed with Mrs. Bennet because he, though still not having
uttered one word, smiled with great affection at the older woman. He reached
out his hand like he was going to grasp Elizabeth’s in his own and she reacted
by drawing her hands behind her. She did not want the toad to touch any part of
her.

Elizabeth
felt that since her mother had made the offer, it would be to her mother that
she would respond. “Mama, you are much mistaken if you think that I would
accept a man who I do not know. Nor am I desirous at this time to be married at
all.” Now, she looked at Mr. Collins, still apparently delighted in the company
of Mrs. Bennet. “Please, do not take my refusal as a personal affront. I do not
know you.”