A Feast of You (33 page)

“Then that summer we were all at the house in Lake Geneva. I saw a thousand little signs, signs no one else seemed to see. Certainly not you or your brother or any of the Smiths—except your uncle. He saw. I could tell he knew what was going on. He’d seen the way your father looked at my mother. The touches, the smiles, the way the two of them disappeared together sometimes.” Her mouth turned down in an expression of disgust.

“I’d hoped it ended that summer. I didn’t see your father as much after school started, but I didn’t know that was because my father had his own suspicions about what was going on. My parents started fighting all the time and I remember being woken up by their late night screaming matches. Then one day right before school ended the next spring, my parents got into a huge fight, and my father stormed out and didn’t come home. A week later, they sat me down and told me they were getting divorced. And later that summer my mother told me she was going to have a baby. She admitted she was pregnant with
your
father’s child and everything was going to change for us. We were going to be a family, just as soon he got back from Alaska.”

My gaze shot to William. His pinky jerked at the mention of Alaska. “Except he never returned.”

“No. He never knew he’d knocked my mother up or wrecked her life. And mine. My father wouldn’t even speak to her once he found out she was going to continue the pregnancy. He was so angry and so embarrassed. After Wesley was born, my mom was broken. Something changed in her.” She stopped abruptly.

Elin looked up then, a faraway look washing over her face “He was the best baby, William. I used to play with him for hours, making him laugh and giggle. It’s too bad you never knew our little brother. He looked a lot like you, you know. ”

William’s breathing remained controlled and steady, though I could see his pulse beating rapidly in the vein at the side of his neck. “I’m sure he did,” he said tightly. “Is there more?”

“Yes,” Elin snapped. “There’s more. She started drinking, okay? She’d lost everything. Once my father saw what was happening, he took me to live with him. I suppose I should have been grateful, but he’d met someone else by then. He didn’t have time for me. I was sent away to school or pawned off on relatives while he built a new family with his new wife.”

Elin’s face contorted into a look of pure hate, but despite that, I wanted to go to her and hug her. She’d been a child torn apart by the poor decisions of adults. That didn’t justify what she’d done to William and me, but it helped me understand.

“You act as though your mother was some sort of saint. She blackmailed my uncle.”

“And she deserved every penny she got,” Elin said with a satisfied smile. “He paid her to stay quiet because she told him about Wesley. He didn’t want half the Lambourne fortune going to a bastard son.”

I hadn’t known Charles paid Lisa Erikson to keep quiet and it was obvious that this was news to William. He would hate Charles for keeping that from him.

“Your mother and the baby died in a car accident. She was driving drunk.” William’s steely gaze was fixed on Elin’s gaunt face.

Elin jumped to her feet. “Your father ruined her life! She never got over what he did to her. It was
his
fault she started drinking. He killed her and Wesley. And he took away everything from me. I had nothing after they died. Nothing.”

I could imagine how those losses had felt and I was sure William could too. He’d suffered after his family died, but he’d channeled the pain into becoming the man he was. Elin had allowed it to fester and build, and I was pretty sure it had made her not entirely sane. The more she talked, the more I realized she had planned to hurt William for years.

“That must have been terrible for you,” I said.

Elin’s eyes narrowed on me, her gaze full of suspicion. She couldn’t even accept sympathy without questioning it.

“But William had nothing to do with what happened between your mother and his father. Neither did I.”

“Don’t you get it?” Elin said, spittle flying from her lips. “He’s just as culpable as his namesake, maybe more so. I’ve watched him for years, waiting for my chance to punish him, to punish them. And then he met you, and I finally knew where I could hit him. You were the chink in his armor,
Cat
. I knew I could hurt him by hurting you. Finally, I could make him suffer, the way we’d suffered, by taking away something he loves.”

William cut in. “I’ve heard enough.”

“No!” Elin screamed. “I’m not done yet.”

“I am.” William pushed his chair back and stood up.

Elin moved quickly around the table, lunging toward him. In one swift turn, he grasped her shoulders and held her at arm’s length. I pushed into the corner and watched, feeling helpless while she tried to claw him. “I hate you!” she screamed. “I hate you!”

The door flew open and two officers rushed in and pulled her off William. George yanked the two of us out of the room and ushered us away from the door. We turned the corner and William gathered me into his arms.

“Are you alright, Catherine?”

“Me? I’m fine.” I was trembling and nauseous, but I determined not to make this about me. I buried my head in his shirt. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he answered simply. “No, I’m not.”

W
illiam didn’t say a word on the ride back to the penthouse. Anthony had been waiting at the curb in the SUV, so at least we weren’t crammed into the back of a cab again. George sat up front, and since the privacy screen wasn’t in place, I could see his stony expression. No one spoke and other than the occasional clicking of a turn signal, the car was eerily silent.

My mind worked and worked to conjure the perfect thing to say to comfort William, but nothing came to me. My eyes bore into him, but he wouldn’t look at me and instead just stared out the window, his jaw flexing with tension every now and again. He seemed beyond my reach, lost in the devastating events of this afternoon.

I remembered when he’d first pursued me, the stunningly handsome man with the arresting turbulent blue-grey eyes. I’d never met a man as physically beautiful as William Lambourne but, looks aside, he had often seemed like two different people—funny and charming one minute, sullen and uncommunicative the next. The William sitting next to me in the SUV, the one who was refusing to meet my gaze and who was lost so deep in thought, was eerily reminiscent of that early version of him. The mercurial man who’d maddeningly kept me at an arm’s length when it had suited him.

As much as it hurt, I couldn’t blame him this time. What he’d been through today, learning about his father’s affair and a secret half-brother who’d died, and now the confrontation with Elin—he needed time to sort through it all and process it, and to grieve. I just wished he would let me help him.

I inched my hand across the span of seat between us and nudged gently against him, seeking his warmth and a connection. His palm opened in response and I pressed my hand into his. He flexed his fingers, intertwining them with mine, then closed our hands into a fist, pulled it toward him, and leaned and kissed it. He still didn’t look at me. I wanted to crawl into his lap, cup his face, and smother him with soothing kisses to take away his hurt. But for now I’d settle for holding hands.

The tense silence continued all the way to the penthouse and on the elevator ride up to the 56
^th
floor. As soon as the doors slid open, William strode into the foyer and headed toward the master suite without looking back or saying a word to me. George and Asa scattered instantly, leaving me alone in the empty entrance hall.

“Crap,” I muttered aloud as I knelt to pet Laird, who’d come walking up, tail wagging. William needed space, but I couldn’t let him close the door on me, literally or figuratively. I loved him and he loved me, and I knew he needed me now whether he knew it or not. We belonged together and I wouldn’t abandon him, no matter what.

Fuck Elin Erickson and her crazy threats. Fuck William’s philandering father. Fuck everything. None of it mattered.

I finally found him in the bedroom closet. He sat on one of the leather benches, a photo album in his hands. At his feet was a box, neatly packed with what looked like Little League trophies, award ribbons, Power Ranger action figures, and a small baseball card collection.

He didn’t look up when I sat beside him. He stared at a photo in the album of his young self and his family in front of a lake. When I leaned closer, he didn’t close the book. I took that as a good sign. It wasn’t just William in the picture. His aunt and uncle and cousins had squeezed in too. And then I saw why William had turned to this page. Next to Lauren was a young Elin. She’d been thin as a child too. Her parents stood beside her. The kids made funny faces and all of the parents smiled indulgently.

Not quite all, actually. Lisa and Jack Erickson’s smiles were faint and strained. Lisa’s eyes were not on Elin, who had her tongue out, or on the photographer. Her gaze cut to the far side of the group.

To William’s father.

“I never saw it before,” William said. “And it was right in front of me all along.”

“You were a kid.” I put my hand on his arm. “How could you have seen it? They kept it a secret. From everyone.”

“My mom saw it.” He traced her face in the photo. She smiled openly and didn’t look as though she had a single worry in the world. She was a lovely woman, slim and elegant, with beautiful blue-grey eyes. One of her hands was on Wyatt’s shoulder and the other was around her husband’s waist.

“He betrayed us,” William said, moving his hand to his father’s face. “All of us.”

“William—”

“I hate him for this. I hate that he did this to us. I hate Elin for tainting my entire childhood. But in a weird way, I understand why she did it.”

I sucked in a breath. “A horrible thing happened to her, yes, but she’s crazy, William. She did it because there’s something wrong with her.”

“And because I should be the one to pay for my father’s mistakes. After all, I’m the one who’s benefitted from his successes. I wouldn’t be where I am now if my father hadn’t started WML Capital Management or if he hadn’t left it all to me.”

“William, no.”

“Yes.” He looked at me, and his eyes were so sad. I’d never seen them that shade of grey-blue.

I took the album and closed it firmly. Before he could take it back, I set it on the floor and took his hands in mine. “Your father messed up. He was human. That doesn’t have to change how you see him. It doesn’t make him any less your father or make his love for you any less strong. You had a happy childhood. You were loved. He loved you.” I gave him a tentative smile. “I’ve rarely seen you as happy as you were the night we went to dinner in Lake Forest, and you showed me your family albums and told me about your childhood. Your parents loved you. You had a good life. Nothing your father did all those years ago will ever change that.”

William didn’t speak for a long time. His hands rested in mine and he stared at the floor. Finally, he looked at me. “Thank you,” he said.

He rose and walked away. And I wondered if he’d ever come back to me.

* * *

W
illiam locked himself in his study, and as hard as it was, I respected his need to be alone. I waited for him to come to me, to talk more or tell me what he was feeling, but after a few hours, I accepted that it wasn’t going to happen. I forced myself to eat dinner, but the leftover pasta was bland tasting, so after a few bites I opted for a pint of Americone Dream instead. I texted Beckett to let him know that I was OK and to ask about the studio clean up. He had taken care of everything and told me that he was up and could talk if I wanted. I didn’t know what to tell him and didn’t want to risk William emerging right as I was telling Beckett about Elin. So I texted back,
Thanks. I think I need to clear my head first. Love you.

By midnight, I could barely keep my eyes open. I put on a T-shirt and a pair of boy shorts, and crawled alone into bed. I grabbed one of William’s pillows and clutched it to me, just like I’d done when he was in Japan. I inhaled deeply, breathing in traces of his unique scent that clung to it, and missed him terribly. He was just steps away this time, but there might as well have been an ocean between us again. Tears welled up in my eyes as I drifted off to sleep.

My body was heavy and pleasantly warm. My breasts ached, the peaks taut and tingling with need. I gasped as my legs parted and pleasure pooled between them.

I should have known it wasn’t a dream. I opened my eyes with effort. The room was dark, but I knew William’s shape and smell. His hands slid up my arms lightly, raising them above my head. Then his lips were on my neck, making their way lower, while his hand teased my legs open and stroked me lightly.

“William?” I murmured. I was barely awake and sleep was drawing me back in.

“It’s me, beautiful girl.” His voice was low and sexy. The timbre resonated through me.

I moved my arms to embrace him, to pull him close to me, and felt restraints holding them in place. “What is this?” I asked, my mind still not fully awake.

“Shh,” he said. His mouth teased the hollow at my throat, making my breath quicken. “You’ll like this.”

I had no doubt of that, but why had he bound me? My heart beat wildly as I stretched my fingers and felt the soft silk rope he’d used to secure my wrists. I wasn’t sure what the rope was tied
to
since William’s platform bed lacked a headboard. I pulled against it and was met with firm resistance, so it was anchored somewhere. There would be no escaping until he untied me.

“William.” I was fully awake now and my voice faltered as he dipped his tongue lower and his hand palmed my breast. “Untie me. I want to touch you.”

“No.”

I stiffened. “What do you mean,
no
?”

He lifted his head, his eyes glittering in the darkness. “I’ll stop if you tell me to, Catherine, but don’t make me beg you to say yes. I need you like this.” His hand caressed the bindings, and he slid his fingers down to my wrist.

I moaned softly as his mouth moved to tease my ear lobe, and I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the desire building inside me.