A Flicker of Light (23 page)

If fate had not stuck him in the cellar
,
he could certainly give the old man a hand with the farming. Instead
,
he was stuck hidden away like a coward.  That bothered him. It made him feel less of a man. Since his association with Dr.
Blumgarten
, he’d prided himself on his character and integrity. But now he found himself concealed at the expense of a woman he loved and a family kind enough to shelter him.

The heat in the cellar was stifling, and the air was stale and unmoving. He tried not to use the candles unless absolutely necessary. Besides, with the shortage, he didn’t know if they could acquire more, so he wanted to preserve the supply. With the darkness relieved only by the tiny
slips of light that filtered through the cracks in the floor panels above him, the black
,
endless days dragged on. Once in a while he heard the voices of the Nazi guards, with their irate guttural commands as they bellowed at the prisoners. Sometimes he heard their vile conversations and laughter concerning sexual escapades with women. Despite this, he found he longed for sound. Sometimes the horse would whinny and relieve the silence, but most of the time he heard nothing, trapped in the dark, lonely cellar.

But most of all
,
Aaron longed for Petra, wished that he could make things
right for her and for the
Bruch
meiers
. He knew that Klaus did not want him there, and in many ways he could not blame him. However, Aaron knew that if he had been Klaus, he would have elected to defy the Nazis. But, of course Aaron was young and strong, and had the arrogance of youth to sustain him. He realized that he could not expect that of Klaus, who was just an old man and not even in the best of health.

Petra came to Aaron after the sun
had
set and the prisoners had gone. The couple embraced, and for a long time Aaron held her, taking in the softness of her skin and the sweet floral fragrance of her hair.

“I think one of the guards knows about this place. I am afraid he saw Mama and me as we came out this afternoon.” Petra told Aaron.

“I must leave then. I don’t want to endanger any of you, especially you.” His hand embraced her face.

“Leave? Where will you go? What will you do? Will I ever see you again?”

“
Shhh
, it’s all right. I won’t go far. I’ll keep watch on you from the forest, but I’ll remain out of sight. And of course you will see me. When it’s safe, at night, we will meet. We’ll arrange a meeting place in the woods.”

“I’ll bring food. But what will we do when winter comes? I can’t stand the thought of you out in the cold.’

“Sweetheart, we’ll worry about the winter when it gets here. We’ll figure something out then. Maybe the suspicion will die down and I can come back to the cellar. We’ll see. For now, I can’t
jeopardize you or the
Bruc
h
meie
rs
any more than I already have.”

“When are you going?”

“Tonight.
I have to. If that guard decides to investigate tomorrow I don’t want to be here. Also, hide this radio and this food. Try to find a safer place.”

“Like where?”

“Before I go, I will help you, I’ll dig a hole under the dog house and we can store some of the food there. Try to use up the rest as quickly as you can, or look for a better hiding place in the house. Now, as far as the dog house is concerned, no one would think to lift that old structure. It has been in place forever. The food should be safe, but only go to retrieve it at night when you are sure that no one is around. Do you understand?”

“Yes, and I’ll explain to Klaus and
Siegland
.”

She watched as he drove the shovel into the ground piled the dirt next to the dog house. When the opening seemed deep enough, they placed all of the canned goods inside and replaced the dirt, and then Aaron secured the dog house on top.

“Come with me. We will decide on a meeting place.”

They walked silently as the cicadas sang by the light of a full moon. An owl hooted as they entered the deep, dark, wooded area. Hand in hand, they walked like Hansel and Gretel until they reached a large oak tree. Aaron took a pocket knife and carved a heart at the bottom of the tree.

“You’ll remember which tree it is by the carving. Do you remember how to get back here?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Then come when you can. If you miss a night or two, I will understand. Your safety is the most important thing to me. Under no circumstances are you to take any unnecessary risks.”

She bent her head and tears came to her eyes.

“I’m scared, Aaron.”

“I know, my love. So am I, but you must be brave. Know that no matter what happens, I will always love you.”

He held her for a long time and then they lay together beneath the sprawling oak tree. When she was in his arms, the world’s problems seemed far away. As the sun began to peek through the clouds, Aaron insisted that she return to the house.

“I’ll be back tonight.”

“Only come if you can manage it safely. Don’t take any chances at all. Do you understand me? Please?”

“I promise. If I can’t make if for any reason, I’ll come as soon as it’s possible.”

“That’s my girl.” He kissed her, and she felt the wetness of tears on his cheeks.

C
hapter
26

I

n the light of day, the trees and the ground became a feast for the eyes, ablaze with the colors of autumn. The leaves had turned and lay covering the ground like a beautiful tapestry. A slight breeze rustled the leaves, winding its way through the brilliant-hued trees in the forest as Aaron picked wild berries. After so many months in the darkness of the cellar, his skin had turned pale. The healing rays of the sun on his face and body warmed and calmed him.

He marveled at the beauty of nature and wondered how such ugliness as Hitler’s Third Reich could exist in a world so divine. Far off the road, Aaron did not hear the trucks carrying the prisoners. Instead he watched in fascination as a spider climbed the trunk of a tree, its eight minuscule legs moving in perfect synchronization. Birds crooned, and each species brought its own melody to the morning symphony. There must be a God, Aaron thought as he looked up into the bright blue to
paz-colored sky, but where had He gone? How could H
e allow such horrific acts to transpire? Yet, still, even in this darkest of times, God had shown him a flicker of light: his love for Petra. Even with
all of the misery surrounding him, he could not help but feel elated with the joy only love can bring. For a while he lay leisurely watching the clouds as they took on various shapes: a dog blowing bubbles, a smiling hippo, a chubby baby, a dragon with a long, twisted tail. Allowing his imagination to wander, he grew immersed in the beauty so long denied him.

As dusk fell upon the woods, his heart beat faster in anticipation of Petra’s imminent arrival. Soon, her golden hair would sprawl out over his chest, and he could once again
hold her in his arms. The dark
ness of night could not come soon enough. But at last, by the grace of God, it did. The light footsteps and the rustle of leaves told him that she had arrived. To be sure he’d not mistaken the sounds he’d heard, he waited until he could see the shadow of her form. Then he rushed to her, taking her in his arms.

“I brought you a whole basket of food.
Siegland
prepared it for you. She’s upset that you left.”

His mouth found hers. He placed the baske
t on the ground.  “I missed you,
”
Aaron said.

“I missed you too.”

With his arms around her, he lowered her carefully onto a bed of dried leaves. Then, gently but passionately, they made love.

“You should eat.”

“Yes, but I don’t want to let go of you for even a moment.”

“I know, and I don’t want you to, but still you must eat.”

“You’re right. I will.”

He didn’t realize the intensity of his hunger until he put the first bit of sausage into his mouth. Famished, he ate the apples and strawberries, the bread and strudel, as well as two of the three sausages that
Siegland
had packed.

“I’ll bring more tomorrow.”

“Before you do, be sure that there’s enough for the family. I don’t want anyone to do without on my account. Have you spoken to Klaus about the radio and the food in the cellar?”

“He said he will move it as soon as he can figure out what to do with it.”

“Darling, stay on him. He must do it soon.”

“You know Klaus. He hates to be told what to do. Besides, I didn’t see that guard all day. Maybe you can come back.”

“Maybe, but let’s just wait. Keep trying to talk Klaus into moving the rest of the food and the radio. It’s important.”

“I w
ill, I promise,
” Petra said.

She kissed him and
the passion of their love ignit
ed, drawing them both in. They made love again with slow tenderness. After a long sleep in each other’s arms, she awoke to him staring at her.

“What is it?’

“I am just thinking of h
ow lucky I am to have found you,
” Aaron whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion.

“Even under these circumstances?”

“Yes, even so,
” Aaron said
.
“I love you, but of course you know that, and no matter what happens you own my heart.”

“Don’t say that, Aaron. You scare me. You make me think that something bad is going to happen.”

“No, S
weetheart. No, I don’t mean to make you feel that way. I just want you to know that in case it does, I love you.” He saw the distress on her face. “But it won’t.
Nothing will happen. We’ll have a couple of kids and grow old together when this war is all over. I’ve already told you that Germany is losing the war. It’s just a matter of time now.”

“If we can just hold out,
” Petra said
,
and she squeezed his arm.

When Petra arrived back at the farm house, she saw a group of German soldiers standing outside. Her heart leapt as she ran to find
Siegland
, her lungs tight. Each room in the house seemed so large and empty as she searched frantically. Finally she decided to go outside and confront the group, only to find
Siegland
graciously serving her famous strudel and coffee to the soldiers. Petra watched as the older woman took control of the situation, smiling and greeting the army men with
a grandmotherly appeal. When
Sie
gland
saw Petra, for just a split second her face revealed her inner fears, but immediately she caught herself and
the mask she wore for the Nazi
s reappeared.

“She’s frightened,” Petra thought. “Why are they here? Have we been caught?
And for what - Aaron?
Or the hoarding?
Or maybe the radio?”
Her mind raced as she watched
Siegland
pour coffee and bring out platters of food.

Without revealing a thing,
Siegland
turned to her and smiled, “Come and help me, child – our brave German soldiers need food.”

Petra nodded, forcing a smile as she took the coffee pot from
Siegland
and began to distribute it among the men. She suddenly felt dizzy and thought she might vomit. The next time Petra went to the kitchen she tore off a sliver of pastry from a piece of strudel, in hope that it might settle her stomach. Her monthly flow had not arrived this month, nor had the previous one, and she felt certain that Aaron’s seed grew within her womb. Swollen breasts, nausea, and constant exhaustion meant pregnancy. These were the same symptoms she’d experienced when she was pregnant with Hans. Now they came again. A child could be such a gift, one she longed for, but not in Hitler’s Germany. It seemed unjust to bring a little one into such a world. Plus, the baby would be half Jewish. And yet she knew in her heart that, regardless of the punishment of being with a Jew, she would not choose anyone else to be the father. Never had she loved anyone or anything as much, not even little Hans. To her, Aaron was no less than the perfect man. Petra would bear his offspring with pride, in honor of the courageous, beloved man who owned her heart.

When things settled down and the army had set up tents outside of the house, Petra found
Siegland
alone for a moment and asked her to explain what had brought the soldiers here.

“Oh child, it’s nothing really. They’ve just come here and are using our farm as a resting place on their way somewhere. They will not be staying.”

“Are you sure?”

“You can never be sure of anything with these people, but that’s what they’
re telling me,”
Sie
gland
said as she patted Petra’s hand.