A Fluffy Tale 2: Warm & Fuzzy (17 page)

Daniel sagged back. “Oh. Okay. I guess you
think it’s a bit skeevy, with me being the poor rape victim and everything.”

Spen spat out a curse
which made Kani squeak and Myko bat at Spen’s leg with a clawed paw in
reproach. “Will you lay off with that shit? I was trying to be considerate!”

“So was I. You’re never going to sleep down
here like that, Beanpole.”

The use of Julian’s nickname forced a laugh
out of him. “Watch it, squirt.” Daniel smiled a little. “All right. If you’re
okay with us sleeping upstairs and you think it’ll help, then sure. But if you
don’t want me to be here....”

Daniel reached out from under the blanket
and clutched at Spen’s arm. “Stay? Please?”

The raw need in Daniel’s voice plucked at
heartstrings Spen didn’t even know he owned. “Okay,” he said, his voice gone a
little gravelly with emotion. “Why don’t you...um...go brush your teeth and
stuff? I’ll clear up here. Is there a spare toothbrush anywhere?”

“Yeah, Mum keeps them...I mean, kept them
in the bathroom. I’ll leave one out for you.”

“Thanks.” He ruffled Daniel’s hair, aiming
for casual, but he couldn’t miss the way Daniel pushed against his fingers, as
if looking for more contact. When had anyone last held the guy?

“See you upstairs. Come on, Kani.” He
disentangled himself from the blanket and stood.

“You go with him, Myko. Be a chaperone.”

Daniel turned around and stuck his tongue
out at him, while Kani crossly stamped his foot. Myko made the most peculiar
noise, almost like a real growl. It sounded disapproving, for sure. “That’s me
told then,” Spen said, amused as hell at the display of childishness.

“Yes, it is. Come on, you guys.”

~~~~~~~~

Spen took his time wiping down the kitchen
counter, putting away dishes, waiting until he could hear nothing from the
upper floor before climbing the stairs. He used the toothbrush left there for
him, and washed his face. Shit, he looked nearly as wrecked as Daniel, but then
he hadn’t been sleeping too well either. Keeping secrets from his friends and
worrying about whether the police would really nail Noble as they hoped, hadn’t been good for him, or fun of any kind at all.
Even if Daniel hadn’t forgiven him—he had forgiven him, hadn’t he?—Spen would feel better just because he no longer had
the burden of those secrets. Of course it wasn’t over, and he wasn’t naïve
enough to believe the next few weeks and months would be a ball of laughs for
Daniel as he waited for Noble’s prosecution. But now, they could talk about it.

That was if he didn’t screw up tonight.
God, did Danny boy have any idea what he was asking? But Spen had suggested it
and he only had his own big mouth to blame. They’d shared a room, even shared a
bed watching movies. He could do this, play the good buddy, keep
the scary emptiness from descending for one night at least. Daniel didn’t want
more, and even if he did, now was so not the time to give it.

Okay, he admitted it. He was out of his
depth. Completely. He was running on instinct, but his instincts had never had
to deal with this situation. What if he did screw it up? He’d already hurt Daniel,
risked losing his trust forever, even if there hadn’t been any alternative.
This could be much, much worse.

He sighed. Nothing for it now, he supposed.

He left the bathroom and entered Daniel’s
bedroom, which was opposite. Daniel was curled up under the covers, facing away
from him on the far side of the wide single bed. Spen couldn’t see the kems which probably meant they were cuddling against
Daniel’s chest.

Oh, hell. What should he wear? Jeans were
buggers of things to sleep in.

“I’ve already seen you in your underwear,”
Daniel muttered, reading his mind.

“Okay. This is a little weird for me, just
so you know,” Spen said, shucking his jeans and folding them over a chair. He
kept his T-shirt on, not having a vest on underneath.

“If you think I’m going to jump you, you’re
so far off track you have no idea.”

“Of course not. You’re being a bit of a
prick.”

He heard a tiny chuckle. “Yeah. Get into
bed, Spen. I just want to sleep.”

“Me too.” He switched off the bedside lamp,
then climbed into the bed and under the covers, trying
very hard not to touch Daniel. An effort wasted by the fact that Daniel
immediately rolled over and snuggled up to him.

“Whoa. You little shit, you’re testing me.”

Another laugh. “Not really.” He looked up
at Spen. “I need to feel you’re here. I don’t want to be alone.”

Spen stroked the hair back off Daniel’s
face, and maybe fell in love just a little harder than he had before. “You’re
not,” he whispered. He put his arm over Daniel, and Daniel sighed. “Go to
sleep, Danny. We’ve got you.”

Daniel nodded, moving in a little closer.
The kems decided now was a good time to emerge and crawl up onto the pillows,
sitting on their humans’ heads—only Myko sat on Daniel’s, Kani on Spen’s.
I know what you little brats are up to
.
Myko opened one eye to look at him, then pretended to go back to sleep.
Not fooling me, squirt.
A tiny pink
tongue emerged from Myko’s mouth to give his opinion of Spen’s thoughts.

Daniel was already asleep—really
asleep, not faking. Poor sod must
really
have been sleep-deprived. Spen relaxed. This was what he was here for, to help
the kid get some rest. Even the kems had settled down and if they were too
tired to play, then sleep was a damn good idea. He closed his eyes, and dropped
off before he had time to wonder if he would.

He woke with a heart-stopping jerk,
instinctively reaching out to protect his companion. He met Daniel’s arm, and
feeling down, realised Daniel had his T-shirt fisted in a death grip. He
wrapped his arms around Daniel and hugged him tight. “It’s okay. You’re safe.
I’m here, Danny.” He spoke quietly, his thumbs stroking Daniel’s back to soothe
him. In the dark he couldn’t see the kems, but one of them brushed against his
hand so he knew they were doing their bit.

“I’m okay now,” Daniel mumbled after a
minute or so, letting go of Spen’s shirt. “Sorry.”

“No problem. Nightmare?”

“No. Panic, like I said. Fear
of falling. I don’t have nightmares. I have dreams of...nice things that
I can’t have any more.”

Spen kept up his soothing thumb massage.
“Sucks.”

“Really. I’m okay, honest. You don’t have
to....”

“Want me to stop?”

“No. Yes. I mean....”

“I like doing it. Does that bother you?
I’ll stop if it does.”

“No. I like it.”

Daniel went still. Spen kept on, but he
sensed something had shifted. With anyone else, in any other place, he would
know where this could go. But with Daniel....

“Danny?”

“Yeah?”

“Danny...uh...look....”

“Spen, if I wasn’t a poor pathetic orphan
rape victim...would you be here now?”

“No. But only because...well, we work
together. We wouldn’t even do that if...uh....”

“I wasn’t a poor pathetic orphan?”

“Come on, kid, knock that off. I just meant
we wouldn’t have met. It’s not a fair question.”

“No.” Daniel moved closer, his face against
Spen’s chest, his breath warming his skin. Spen tried to think of designing
security routines, data capture screens for teachers, anything boring and
annoying enough to stop his body reacting to the gentle, tormenting sensation.
“Spen, if I tell you something now, here...would you be prepared to forget it
in the morning and never mention it again?”

“I can’t promise to forget, but I won’t
ever mention it unless you do. Uh...it’s not about him, is it? I mean, it’s
nothing to do with the police—”

“No, no. I don’t think so.”

“Because I can’t hide stuff from them. Not
if it affects that.”

“I have a crush on you. Like, the world’s
biggest. Supernova-sized.”

Spen’s laugh of pure relief escaped before
he could choke it off. Daniel tried to pull away, obviously hurt, but Spen held
him tight. “No, Danny, don’t. I’m not laughing at you. I thought you might tell
me you had a crush on...well, you know.”

Daniel shivered. “I couldn’t. He gives me
the creeps.”

“I bet.” Spen reached up to find Daniel’s
hair, and tangled his fingers in it. “You don’t want me to mention it?”

“No. Because...you’ll treat me differently.
You’ll think I wanted you to stay because of that and I didn’t. I just...I
needed someone to be with me so much. I feel like I’m losing control.”

Despite himself, and knowing he was letting
more of his real feelings show than he really ought to, Spen kissed Daniel’s
head. “I know why you wanted me to stay, Danny boy. I offered first, remember?”

Daniel relaxed a little. “Yeah. But I want
us to be friends, so I never said anything. I never would have said anything,
because we worked together, and because I need you to be my friend. I don’t
need
more.”

Spen hugged him harder. “What if I wanted
to offer you more?”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel
better.”

“I’m really not. You’re always telling me
how I feel. This is how I really feel.” He kissed Daniel’s hair again, then
bent lower and found his mouth, so he could kiss him on the lips. Daniel sighed
against his cheek. “Totally lousy timing though.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not you, kiddo. Me. Last thing you need is
someone else you looked to for help, taking advantage.”

“Are you?”

“Trying hard not to.” He stroked Daniel’s
hair. “This is such a bad time to be talking about this. We’re tired and the
situation is....”

“Horrible.”

“Yeah, it is. So let’s sleep on it. In the
morning, if you don’t mention, I won’t. I never will unless you do. I’ll be
your friend, and helping through all this, whatever you say. You’re in
control.”

“I’m a mess.”

“
Now
you admit it. You’re doing pretty well, Daniel.”

“Now
you
admit it.”

Spen chuckled and kissed Daniel’s hair
again. “Yeah, I do. Go to sleep, kiddo.”

“Don’t call me that,
Beanie
.”

“Okay. Think you can sleep now?”

“Maybe. I did better this time. I actually
fell asleep for a while before it hit. I think having Myko here helped.”

Spen’s kem chirped cheerfully at his name.
Spen growled. “Oh, well, if it’s only Myko you need....” He pretended to get
off the bed, but relented at Daniel’s desperate grasp. “Hey, only joking.” He
wrapped his arms around Daniel again. “Not going anywhere, squirt. Now sleep.”

“Thank you.” Daniel buried himself against
Spen’s chest. A few quiet squeaks later and their kems had squeezed themselves
into the small remaining space between Spen and Daniel’s bodies. Then all was
silent and peaceful once more.

Spen rested his cheek against Daniel’s
head. In the morning, Daniel would probably die of embarrassment thinking about
this conversation. That was okay. Mutual attraction wasn’t life and death
stuff. What Daniel was coping with every day, and this shit with
Noble—now, that was important.

Still, nice to know Daniel could still feel
something for anyone after what Noble and life had done to him. And it was nice
to be one he had feelings for. Spen wouldn’t get his hopes up. He’d enjoy a
little cuddle, a little company, not think too much about Rob and missing being
with a guy he’d cared for. Not thinking, that would be good for a while too.

Daniel woke when a bored Kani decided he
had slept long enough, and began nibbling his chin. He swatted his annoyed kem
away, and his hand brushed someone’s shoulder.

That woke him up properly. Then he
remembered.
Spen.
Just to confirm it,
Myko peeked over Spen’s shoulder and gave a tiny chirp, answered just as
discreetly by Kani. The kems obviously thought Spen needed more rest than
Daniel did. Or maybe they wanted to punish him for being such an utter prat.

He slid carefully out from under the
blankets and bolted for the bathroom to pee and berate himself for stupidity.
Spen would
hate
him for being such a
needy little bastard. So much for trying not to be pathetic, and look like a competent adult.

A knock on the bathroom door made him jump.
“If you’re in there freaking out, Danny boy, wait until you have a cup of tea
before you make any big decisions. I’ll go put the kettle on.”

“I’m fine!”

“Great. I’m still putting the kettle on.”

Daniel’s face flushed hot as much from
amusement as embarrassment. Spen’s dry sense of humour had been all that had
kept him sane at times over the last few months, and it had saved them from
undying enmity over Daniel’s horrible behaviour last night. He wouldn’t have
blamed Spen if he’d never spoken to him again. But he hadn’t just spoken to
him, but had held him. And more.

He washed his face again, and when he
ducked out, found the bedroom empty, so he could pull on his jeans. Downstairs,
Spen stood watching the kettle, still not at boiling point. He was fully
dressed, and wearing an apron. It barely cleared his hips, which was both
ridiculous and endearing. Kani and Myko chased each other around the living
room, clearly bored with human company for the moment.

“Hi,” Daniel ventured.

Spen turned and gave him a wide smile.
“Hey, kid. How did you sleep?”

“Better. Um.” He came closer, and on
impulse wrapped his arms around Spen. “Don’t hate me?”

He felt Spen chuckle, then he put a hand
under Daniel’s chin and made him look up. He bent and kissed him on the lips.
“Easiest thing anyone ever asked me to do,” he murmured, stroking his hand down
Daniel’s hair. Daniel wished he could do the same back. He wanted to know what
the short crinkly curls would feel like under his fingers. He wanted to touch
Spen’s dark, warm skin, stroke him from top to toe.

But then Spen pushed him back carefully.
Daniel’s heart sank. “Now, Danny, don’t get worked up.” Spen leaned over and
kissed him again. “Tea?”