A Gambling Heart: A BWWM Billionaire Romance (11 page)

I was dreaming that a huge serpent was constricting me. I couldn’t move my arms and legs and was suffocating. I could hear its hissing sound so clearly in my ears. I opened my eyes and was momentarily disoriented. Recollection came dawning.

I was in Gareth’s bedroom in his bed. One arm was strewn across my chest and his leg was straddled across mine. The hissing sound was white noise coming from hidden speakers. The cd must have looped to a stop when we were asleep.

I smiled in recollection as I moved my head slowly to face him. I didn’t want to wake him up. He was snoring lightly with his mouth slightly opened. I wriggled my body carefully to free myself. He needed his rest, I thought, after all the sex we had the whole night.

This man was insatiable as a delicious spasm twitched between my legs. I had never seen a man go on and on and on. I couldn’t help the silly grin that formed on my face. Picking up his shirt that was scattered on the floor, I put it on.

I glanced at his bedside clock and saw that it was barely dawn. The cook wouldn’t be coming in till seven in the morning and I decided to go to the kitchen and rummage for something to eat. I felt ravenous. I had foregone dinner last night. Gareth should be too when he awakens.

I made my way out the door, down the hall and the stairs, confident that I was still alone. I pushed open the door leading to the pantry and headed for the refrigerator.

My butt cheeks were rearing in the air as I bent in search of cold cuts to make into a sandwich. My hands were jammed with ingredients as I made for the kitchen island counter. I glanced towards the pantry door and squealed in fright before recognizing the figure that was watching me from the entry.

It was Steve Truman, Gareth’s manager. And he didn’t look too happy.

“G-go-good morning, Mr. Truman,” I squeaked, alarmingly aware of my state of dishabille. I wasn’t expecting company this early in the morning. And the fact that he was leering did not exactly restore my confidence.

He sauntered towards the counter, tapping a folded newspaper against his palm.

“I didn’t hear you come in.” I tried for civility even as I noticed that he hadn’t returned my greeting.

“I have my own set of keys. I come and go as I please.”

“Oh!”

The arrogance in his voice was discernible.

“Would you like a sandwich?” I asked graciously.

“You’ve made yourself quite the lady of the house.”

“I-I came down here to make myself something to eat. I didn’t have dinner last night. So…”

I was humiliated by his remark. I felt like I was overstepping my boundaries here somewhere. But at the same time he managed to rouse my bile. I didn’t like the way he was casually eyeing my body beneath the soft material of Gareth’s shirt.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Steve probably recognized who it belonged to. There was nothing I could do about that… but prayed he wouldn’t notice. But if he had his own set of keys…well….he belonged here more than I did. He probably knew every piece of clothing that hung in Gareth’s cabinet.

“Gareth is doing well, taking his medication, and having his daily physical therapy. I have also talked to the cook and suggested some menu to form part of his diet,” I announced. He was probably worried about his precious ward anyway. It wouldn’t do any harm to get on his good side and give a glowing report.

Steve sniggered and replied, “I’m sure you’re doing everything you can for him.”

On the surface it sounded trite. But to my guilty conscience it was more like a sexual insinuation. Maybe I was just being paranoid and decided that I was.

“Yes, of course I am. That’s why I’m here.”

I stifled the urge to move away as he drew nearer. Every hair on my body stood on end.

“Speaking of Gareth,” he continued, “where was he the whole day yesterday? I called a couple of times and couldn’t get to him. I thought that was odd. Then I tried your number, which I managed to get from your supervisor at the hospital. You wouldn’t pick up either.”

I remembered Gareth’s phone ringing intermittently the whole day yesterday. I called his attention to it when first he fired me and then gave me an option to decide what I wanted. I fleetingly recalled seeing a number I didn’t recognize on my cell phone too.

“I…uhm…he…we went out to see some people from his old school and then visited the old employees of the family.”

“Oh…you mean Principal Scott. Maimee? Is that her name? And those old fogeys he housed after they retired from his employ? I see. I was always against him doing all that stuff, taking care of them. It’s like those people are riding the gravy train all the way to the city of the dead.”

I gasped at the callous comment. He sneered, crinkling his eyes to slits.

“But,” he added, “he seems to think they have their uses. So…I indulge him.”

Steve snickered like he was enjoying a private joke. “He was giving you a tour of his life.”

Then he muttered under his breath, “Well played, my boy, well played.”

I was confused. I didn’t understand what he meant. But I felt strangely insulted. And I wanted to get away from his presence. If I did that now it would be so obvious.

“What do you mean?” I asked him instead.

“Oh, Nurse Miller. Sienna, right? May I call you that?”

I nodded yet instinctively I felt I was about to hear something not to my liking. I should go now. But like the firefly drawn to the light, I knew I wanted to hear what he had to say.

“There’s something you should know about Gareth. When he likes a girl, he usually does this whole charade of giving them a tour of his life. He discovered that it was so much easier than him convincing the pussies that he is more than just a stud, that he is a good guy.

I mean…you see these old folks he provides for and takes care of. You think he is such a generous and potential sugar daddy. And most women? They like generous, don’t you think?”

I was appalled and disgusted at his insinuation. The douchebag had such a low opinion of women. Apparently he wasn’t done yet.

“But you,” he snickered shaking his head, “I gotta admit…you surprised me. You’re not his usual type. And I should know. I procure any woman he sets his eyes on.”

“So, you’re not only his manager, you’re also his pimp.”

I couldn’t help the words that spewed out of my mouth. He was surprised by my sudden spunk.

“If you wish to call it that.” His voice was cold. “I see it as part of the package I created. To ensure that he never gets into any kind of trouble. You see, Sienna, guys like Gareth are a fodder for every Jane who wants a better life without having to work for it. He is rich, famous, and very good-looking.

Do you realize how lethal that combination can be? How women would naturally be drawn to that kind of lifestyle? Without knowing what I went through?  Unlike others, I saw the potential in Gareth when he was quite young and didn’t know what to do with his life. He loved fast cars but was careless about his own safety. He was competitive, ruthless, and self-centered…qualities that if tapped precisely would bring him beyond his wildest dreams.

I introduced him to racing. Got him to the best schools, introduced him to experts, and paved the way for bigger and greater things in the Formula 1 Grand Prix. I chartered his career, slow and easy, and he is making his way to being a world champion.”

“So…basically you are saying you made him what he is today.”

“Yes, I am, because everything that he is today is because of me. So you see…when I can’t get hold of him for a whole day, it gets me thinking. What is my boy up to this time?”

He sneered, shook his head, and mockingly added, “I should have known. He was out with you yesterday trying to impress you about who he used to be. But who he is now is more than enough to impress anyone, don’t you think?”

“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t heard of him before he was admitted to the hospital.”

“Shows you how far apart you are.”

I thought he was done driving the knife into my heart. Apparently not.

“It must have worked though. You seeing him with all those old folks? Otherwise you wouldn’t be wearing his shirt.”

My humiliation was complete.

“Sienna! Sienna! Sienna! Don’t feel bad about it,” he said in a sudden turnaround. “I understand completely. A beautiful young woman? A stud like Gareth? It’s as simple as expecting night to follow day. But I must warn you.”

He aimed for a kindly laugh.

“Warn me about what?” I felt cold like the light had gone off inside me.

“Don’t expect anything more than what it is—a romp in bed. Consider yourself lucky you had that opportunity. Gareth can be pretty fastidious about the women in his life.”

If I had the strength left I would have given him a well-aimed slap. But he had managed to strip me of every ounce of dignity. I dropped the sandwich to the counter and turned away from him.

“Thank you for your enlightenment, Mr. Truman,” I said sarcastically. “I’m sure you’ve made that speech quite often in the past.”

I made a beeline for the door, hoping my knees wouldn’t give way. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I went straight to my room, locked the door behind me, and slumped to the floor. I was still in shock. My morning just went from a rom-com to a horror movie. But I shouldn’t really be surprised.

Instinctively I knew everything Steve said was true. I was playing myself for a fool until he brought me back to reality. I was hoping for something more than just casual sex and I was foolish to believe that taking a risk would turn the tide in my favor.

But that was all it was, really. Just sex. And like Steve said, I was one of those women who wanted more than what Gareth is willing to give. He warned me when he asked me stay, didn’t he? I should protect myself and not get hurt? I realized that but didn’t understand its real meaning. Until now.

As a nurse I was familiar with the unpleasant sensation called pain. I also knew that it could be both physical and emotional. And my expertise told me that the dull aching sensation inside my chest was pain that emanated from the harsh reality that I had exceeded the bounds of protecting myself where Gareth was concerned.

I could no longer protect myself from him for the simple reason that I knew I was now in love with him. It was a realization that came slowly but still managed to stun me. But it was enough to make me want to cry. I wanted to cry. Cry my eyes out over my stupidity. Tears were a balm to my psyche.

And as my tears fell, I knew there was still time to save me from future agony. Gareth gave me that option yesterday. I was free to leave anytime I wanted to. And more than anything in the world I knew that I would leave him. Not tomorrow…not next week…today.

I scowled at the stack of papers that Steve plopped in front of me. I was in no mood to go through the details of a contract for another endorsement. Shit, I wasn’t in the mood for anything much. I just wanted to go behind the wheel of a car and race it till its engine conked out. It was a stupid thing to contemplate considering. But I was a ball of tension and Steve noticed it too.

“You alright, Gareth?”

Was I alright? Fuck! Everything was wonderful! Everything was A-fucking fine.

I looked at him, not really seeing him. Nor did I care to understand what he had been saying for the last thirty minutes.

“Have you been taking your medications? Is something wrong? I’ll call your doctor.”

“No, no, no. I’m fine…just not in the mood to work.”

“Well, Okay. Let me get these papers out of the way. We could go out and grab a bite to eat. Would you like to have lunch now? There’s a new restaurant in town that has been after your ass to come and dine there. It’s five-star…and free, if you make an appearance.”

“No, thanks. Some other time, perhaps.”

I pushed away from the table. Steve tailed me all the way to the door and opened it. His solicitousness was starting to grate.

“Would you like me to come along with you? Where’re you headed to anyway?”

“No, Steve,” I replied trying to hide my exasperation. “I’ll be going back to house.”

“Alright.” He looked uncomfortable, undecided. Then he said, “Err…Gareth, maybe you can be…you know…go easy on the nurse. That’s our fourth in three weeks. Man, we’re running out of male nurses to take care of you.”

“I already said I don’t need one. I can take care of myself.”

“I know, I know, but…uhmm…you know how it is with the FIA. They are very strict about the medical clearances after your type of accident. Annoying as it is, a registered nurse has to sign your release form same as your doctors.”

“Yeah…Okay…whatever you say.”

I left before he could say another word. I felt guilty about making him worry about me. I knew he was taking care of business. But right now, I just couldn’t care less. I was angry and depressed…and if I were totally honest…I was hurt. It surprised me that a woman could make me feel this way.

Sienna Fuckin’ Miller, RN. What made her think she could treat me that way? I mean, wasn’t she like some senseless putty in my hand after all that sex we had? What made her decide to leave just like that? Didn’t she say she wanted to stay? Then why? What changed her mind?

I remember that morning so clearly…

I woke up and the bed beside me was empty. She must have taken a shower in her bedroom.

I looked at the imprint of her head on the pillow and smiled. For the first time in a long time, I felt happy, giddy even. This girl had some kind of magic potion and I was thirsty for more of her. I remembered her asking yesterday what her staying would mean. Yesterday I had no answer. But today I did.

I liked her…a lot…enough to think about our relationship in a more serious light. I wanted to know her better, everything about her…what made her tick, her likes and dislikes, what her family was like…what made her happy.

I wanted to make her happy.

That surprised me because girls were mostly a recreational hobby for me. Something I could do in my leisure time…or whenever I felt horny. They came and went. I never kept track nor bothered to establish anything more than a casual sex arrangement. I knew Steve sometimes sent flowers or chocolates, or whatever it was that made women happy after a romp in bed.

I didn’t really care. I never gave it another thought. Except that…this time with Sienna, I didn’t want her to go, I wanted her to stay for as long as…

As long as…what? Forever? I wasn’t sure.

But I had no inkling that ‘long’ would just be a matter of a few minutes more. I took a shower and put on my clothes, eager to see her. I was thinking I we could have breakfast somewhere. Not in the familiar confines of our breakfast room downstairs.

“Morning, Sienna,” I greeted as I spotted her at the table. She was filling out a report and distributing meds in a tray. I noticed that she placed them in an orderly manner with corresponding dates and time written in small pieces of sticky paper.

“Oh. Hi, Gareth. Good morning.”

I sidled beside her playfully before placing my arm around her shoulder and planting a kiss on her cheek. I was aiming for her lips, except…she turned her head away abruptly.

I thought she was embarrassed and was thinking about the house help, but the room was empty.

“I was thinking…maybe, you’d like to have breakfast somewhere else…”

“Gareth, these are the medical reports about your condition. I have filled out what needs to be done. These medications are for you to take on a regular basis. Please take note of the date and time for every dosage. And don’t skip a prescription, please.”

What was wrong with her? She sounded…sad? Distraught?

“What’s wrong?” I asked even as I moved to draw her closer to my arms.

She struggled out of my embrace and stood abruptly. It was then that I noticed the suitcase on the floor. My heart plummeted to my stomach.

“Are you leaving?” I didn’t realize coldness had colored my voice at the sight of her packed belongings.

“I…uh…yes,” she said simply before adding, “It’s not going to work with me, I’m sorry. I talked with my supervisor and she assured me you can have another nurse to replace me. I called up a taxi service to bring me back to town. I’m sorry, Gareth. I shouldn’t have been here in the first place.”

I stared at her like she was an alien from another planet. I was stunned, disappointed, and ambiguous. What was she talking about? Did I do something wrong to make her want to leave just like that? I wanted to ask but my surprise made me momentarily mute. Then I heard the honk of a car horn and realized it was the taxi coming to take her away.

“Sienna, I…”

“Goodbye, Gareth.”

She picked up her suitcase, turned abruptly, and suddenly, just like that, she was gone.

Since that morning, three weeks ago, I spent time racking my brains for the reason of her sudden departure. I wanted to run after her and ask why, but I was rooted to the spot. Later on I contemplated calling her but my masculine virility told me it was the wrong thing to do. Fuck her! No girl had ever left me that way before.

Her replacement was terrified of my foul mood and left crying after three days. Steve thought it would be best if we settled for a male nurse instead. I was down to my third male nurse, a black brawny guy who could probably beat the shit out of me if he wanted to.

My depression had turned to emotionless funk as I walked away from Steve. But I realized I could think well. I knew what I wanted to do and I wanted to see Sienna again. If it meant taking a chunk off my chauvinist armor, I decided I could afford that. I just needed to know why she left so suddenly.

I didn’t know where she lived and thought the hospital was the best option to find her. I drove there soon as I left Steve’s office. The receptionist at the lobby freaked out as soon as she turned and recognized me.

“Nurse Miller, Sienna Miller, please?”

“I-I’ll see if she’s in today,” the girl replied as she fiddled with the computer. Then, “I’m sorry but it seems Nurse Miller is off today.”

“Shit,” I muttered, then decided to turn on the charm…full blast. “Miss, it’s really important that I talk to Nurse Miller. Could you give me her address please?”

The girl was staring at me like I was some eye candy she wanted to take home. Then she realized what I was asking for and became flustered.

“I-I…sorry but we don’t give out that information about our staff. I’m really sorry.”

Shit. Blank wall. Then I had a sudden inspiration.

“Can I borrow the telephone directory, please?”

She handed it to me like she was giving me a peace offering.

I riffled through the pages until I came to ‘M’. Mason…Meddleton…Mesina…Miller. Bingo. There is was. Sienna Miller Apt. 3-D # 458 Mulholland Drive. God… I hoped she was the Sienna Miller in the book. I thanked the starstruck girl and made a mad rush for the car.

The apartment wasn’t hard to find. I searched for apt 3D and knocked at the door.

A pretty blonde girl wearing a short robe opened the door.

“Yes?” she asked curiously before recognition set in. “Jesus!” She swore under her breath before saying my name. “Mr. Westbrook? Gareth Westbrook?”

I thought she looked familiar. She must be one of the nurses at the hospital and Sienna’s roommate.

“C-Come in. I’m sorry for the mess but S-Sienna and I, we were not expecting company,” she apologized.

I entered the living room just as I heard a familiar voice shout out from somewhere inside the apartment.

“Who is it, Chantal?”

Sienna rounded the corner from the kitchen and entered the living room holding a basket of laundry in her hand. The basket fell with a loud plop to the floor.

“Ga-Gareth? Where…how…what are you doing here?”

She was obviously flustered by my sudden appearance.

“Good day, Sienna. How are you? Can I take a seat?”

“Of course, sit…please.”

The other girl made a discreet departure. Sienna gathered the laundry from the floor and deposited it on a nearby counter. Then she joined me and took a seat farthest from where I sat.

“What are you doing here?”

She was more in command, although she was rubbing her hands nervously and I knew she was tense.

“Would you like something to drink?”

I shook my head. I have longed for this moment the last three weeks. To ask her the one question that had been nagging me.

“I came here to ask you why you left so abruptly that particular morning. I thought things were going fine between us…considering that you made a decision to stay. Was it something I said or did? Just tell me the truth, Sienna, so I can go back to my life the way it was. Because I miss you terribly and I want you back, but I don’t know what you are thinking…or even why you left so suddenly.”

Her face was a gamut of emotions.

“Just be honest with me,” I prodded her. “Do you even feel anything for me at all?”

She cleared her throat before looking me straight in the eyes.

“I’m in love with you, Gareth. It’s a hopeless situation…for me. That’s the only reason I left. I realized that we have nothing in common. We’re poles apart.

I didn’t want to, couldn’t afford to, invest everything I had on some kind of whimsical fancy that you have for me. After you’ve lost interest, you can go back to whatever life you had before I came along.

But…what about me? Who will pick up the pieces for me? I may be a grown ass woman, but I still believe in fairytales.

I believe in happily ever after, in growing old together and riding into the sunset. Unfortunately, you don’t have the character traits of a prince charming. You’re different. Maybe someday you will want to rescue some damsel and be a prince, but I don’t think that damsel will ever be me.”

Her voice was firm and there was no denying the honesty in her words.

Silence. Long and laden with unspoken words. Mostly from me. I understood what she was saying. She wanted the whole package. A ring, a proposal, marriage, a promise to love her until forever.

“Fairytales,” I muttered under my breath, “always a tricky situation.”

“I know,” she replied softly, “but I have to believe in something even if it means forgetting that I’ve ever known someone like you.”

I stood up and approached her slowly. I wanted to pick her up in my arms and hold her close to me.

She raised her head. I saw the pleading look in her eyes, begging me, asking me for more than what I was willing to give her. How could I?

I wasn’t sure if I even had what she wanted from me. So instead, I bent and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Goodbye, Sienna.”

“Goodbye, Gareth.”