A Gift of Grace (5 page)

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R
ebecca climbed the stairs the following afternoon and headed down the hall to the girls’ bedrooms. Jessica and Lindsay had been working hard to unpack all day, stopping only shortly for breakfast and lunch. She’d offered to help them numerous times, but they had insisted they could do it themselves.

Stepping into the doorway of Jessica’s room, Rebecca surveyed the progress. While there were still boxes spread around the floor, the room was starting to look organized. A small bookshelf held books and CDs, and the open closet door showed a line of clothing. Photographs in frames lined the dresser and small desk.

Jessica sat cross-legged on the floor while sorting through a box of books. She hummed softly to herself, making Rebecca smile. She hoped it was a sign that her niece was starting to feel comfortable in her new home.

Jessica glanced toward Rebecca and gasped with a start. “I didn’t see you there. How long have you been watching me?”

“Only a few minutes. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Rebecca looked over her shoulder into Lindsay’s room and spotted her hanging clothes. “Lindsay, do you have a moment?” she called.

Lindsay stuck a blouse in the closet and then joined her in Jessica’s doorway. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to tell you I’m going to plan a family gathering for Saturday night so you can meet the rest of the Kauffman family. Daniel is going to spread the word at work today.”

“That sounds like fun,” Lindsay said.

Jessica nodded, her face expressionless.

“I think you’ll enjoy meeting our other nieces and nephews,” Rebecca said, hoping for some sort of acceptance from her older niece. “A few are your age.”

“Oh good.” Lindsay smiled at her sister, but Jessica’s countenance still didn’t crack.

Placing items back into the box, Jessica stood, facing Rebecca. “I wanted to ask you something. Where’s our school?”

“What?” Rebecca asked, confused.

“Our school.” Jessica looked surprised at Rebecca’s response. “The school Lindsay and I will attend in the fall. I mean, it’s May, so we can just forget this year and hopefully just pick up with the next grade in September. Or does school start in August here? I know some schools start—” She stopped speaking, her brows knitted together with concern. “Why aren’t you answering my question?”

Feeling caught between a rock and a hard place, Rebecca took a deep breath. She wasn’t expecting to address the education issue so soon after the girls’ arrival, but she’d known the issue would come. After all, that was the issue that drove Grace away. However, Grace wanted the girls here; it was her last request.

She took a deep breath and clung to Daniel’s belief that the girls needed her guidance in order to find their way.

Then the verse of Colossians sang through her mind again. “Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

“I wasn’t planning on enrolling you in school,” Rebecca said, her voice calm and even.

“What?” Jessica stepped toward her. “No school? How can you do that? Legally, don’t we have to attend school?”

“It’s not our way.” Rebecca smoothed her apron. “You’re living in an Amish home now, and our scholars stop at eighth grade. You both are beyond that age, and you will be given responsibilities, which we already discussed last night. I hope you understand and respect that.”

“It may not be
your
way, but it’s our way.” Jessica pointed to her chest. “It’s
my way
to go to school and get my diploma. I want to go to college and become an accountant. And I want to get my own place and save money to take trips and see the world.” Jessica focused her gaze on her sister. “Lindsay, don’t you want to graduate from high school?”

Lindsay glanced between her sister and Rebecca, looking caught between them.

“Jessica,” Rebecca reached for her, but she stepped back.

“But I need to go to school.” Jessica’s eyes shown with desperation. “I need to get an education. I’m not going to want to live here forever.” Her voice rose. “Don’t you understand that? You’re not thinking of what I want. Besides, my mother got her GED and went to college. If my mother did it, then why can’t I?”

Rebecca sighed with regret for the pain the rules were causing her niece. She briefly wondered again if being their guardian was a mistake and then shoved the thought away.

This is what Grace wanted
.

This is God’s will
.

“I know that this is difficult for you,” she began, “but you have to learn to respect the rules of this home.”

“But my mother—” Jessica began.

“Your mother left the community to pursue her English life, but you’re not in an English home anymore. It was your mother who chose this life for you and your sister.” Rebecca shook her head, hating having to be so harsh with her niece. “Jessica, please just listen to me. The sooner you learn to respect our ways, the easier it will be for you.”

Jessica shook her head in disbelief. “This is unreal.”

Rebecca gave her a weak smile. “You said you wanted to be an accountant. You’ll get experience balancing the ledger at the furniture store.”

Jessica pursed her lips. “I don’t exactly see the connection between my dream to be an accountant and working in your little
Amish
furniture store,” her niece snipped.

“It’s the best we can do for you,” Rebecca said with as much patience as she could muster.

“Whatever.” Jessica threw her hands up. “I guess I’ll unpack my boxes and just forget my dream of having a decent education. Apparently when my parents died, I also lost all touch with reality.” Jessica slammed the door, the force vibrating the wall around it.

Rebecca stared at the closed door in front of her, the sound of its slamming echoing in her head. Turning to Lindsay, she grimaced. “I guess she’s really upset.”

Her younger niece nodded. “Yeah, but she’ll calm down soon. She’s always had a short fuse.”

“Like your mom.”

Lindsay’s eyes widened in surprise. “You remember that about Mom?”

Rebecca gave a soft laugh. “Oh yes. I remember it clearly.”

“I’ll try to talk to her for you. Maybe I can get her to calm down.” Lindsay knocked on the door with her fist. “Jess, please open the door.”

“Let her be.” Rebecca touched her shoulder. “I’ll try to talk to her later.”

“You’re not going to discipline her?” Lindsay’s eyebrows knitted with confusion. “Mom and Dad never would’ve let her get away with that.”

“It’s okay. I can’t expect her to welcome me into her life and accept me as her guardian in just a matter of a few weeks. This is difficult on you both.” Rebecca folded her arms, studying Lindsay. “You’re handling this much better than she is.”

Lindsay’s expression softened. “I was never very good at school. I worked hard but still got crummy grades. I think I kinda let my parents down because I never seemed to get ahead no matter how hard I tried. I’m honestly not heartbroken about not having to go back to school. I like to bake, so I think working with you will be fun.”

Rebecca shook her head in amazement. The girls were night and day, just like she and Grace once were. She looped her arm around Lindsay’s shoulder. “Would you like me to help you unpack?”

Lindsay shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”

“Well then, I’ll be in my sewing room if you need me. I’m working on some new trousers for Daniel.” Rebecca took one last look at Jessica’s door and then started down the hall.

As she sat down in front of her sewing machine, she hoped Daniel was right about the girls. She prayed that giving the girls the proper guidance would lead them to find their place in the community and understand God’s plan for them.

Suddenly a calm filled Rebecca, as one of her favorite verses, Romans 15:13, filled her heart and her mind: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

She smiled. Yes, she trusted the Lord. The girls would adjust. She just had to have faith.

Lindsay knocked on her sister’s door again. “Jess, let me in.” She blew out a frustrated sigh. “Come on … This is ridiculous! You’re acting like a baby.”

“Acting like a baby?” The door swung open, and Jessica glared at her. “How can you say that? You act like your life hasn’t been turned upside down!”

Grinning, Lindsay folded her arms. “I knew that would get you.”

Jessica rolled her eyes. “You know me too well.” Shaking her head, she crossed the small room and flopped onto her bed, slouching with her gaze fixed on the ceiling.

“Can we talk?” Lindsay asked, leaning on the doorframe.

“Who’s stopping you? Talk.”

“How about we go sit on the porch?” Lindsay said. “I’m itching to get out of the house for some fresh air.”

“Sure, if you like the smell of horses.” Jessica dragged herself up and followed her sister down the stairs and out the front door.

Once outside, they sat side by side in the porch swing and gazed toward the long dirt driveway.

Lindsay clasped her hands and waited for her sister to say something. She could’ve cut the tension between them with a knife. She was nervous about saying the wrong thing and setting her off yet again.

Jessica had become so touchy since their parents’ accident, and Lindsay dreaded another screaming match. Yet, she’d felt she had to say something to try to calm her sister down and to help make the transition a little easier on them both. Lindsay smiled to herself, wondering how she’d suddenly become the older sister.

“How come you didn’t stick up for me earlier?” Jessica asked, breaking the thick, awkward silence.

Lindsay gave her a sideways glance. Her sister always got right to the heart of the issue. “Because I didn’t agree with you completely. You already know my feelings about school. I’m not good at it.”

“I know you don’t like school, but how can you not want to graduate, Linds?” Jessica faced her, leaning back against the arm of the swing. “Don’t you want to make something of yourself?”

“Of course I do, but—”

“But?” Her older sister sat up straight and gestured with her hands. “There’s no ‘but’ when it comes to your education. Mom and Dad always said the only thing that mattered was finishing school. Without an education, we’ll wind up flipping burgers or waiting tables.”

Lindsay nodded in agreement. She remembered her parents echoing that lecture many times when her grades had slipped. “I know, but Mom and Dad are gone now. I never liked school much. I wasn’t good at it like you. I can’t say I’m sad that I don’t have to go back.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that we need to finish school. Rebecca can’t just show up and decide our futures for us.”

“You’re right, but you can’t walk into our aunt’s house and slam doors and talk back. How do you think Mom would feel if she knew you were nasty to her sister?” Knowing her comment about their mother would upset Jessica, Lindsay braced herself for an explosion.

“Don’t throw Mom in my face,” Jessica hissed through gritted teeth. “We both miss her, and we both know she’d never want this for us.”

Lindsay folded her arms across her chest in disagreement. “So then why did she make Aunt Rebecca our guardian? Mom included that note with the will saying she wanted us to experience life in the Amish community. This was Mom’s decision, not Aunt Rebecca’s.”

Jessica’s expression softened as she sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Well, I’d like you to stop fighting with Aunt Rebecca. Give her a chance.” Lindsay patted Jessica’s warm hand. “I talked to her a lot while we were packing up back home, and she’s really sweet. In fact, she reminds me a lot of Mom.”

Her older sister’s eyes narrowed to a glare. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.” Lindsay glanced over toward the road as a horse and buggy clip-clopped by. “And who knows, Jess. Maybe we’ll actually like it here.”

“I just hope we aren’t here long.” Jessica sat back in the swing. “I hope Aunt Trisha can get custody of us somehow. She promised she’d try.”

“Maybe we’ll find out we love living with the Amish.”

“Just what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, dress like a nun and work in a furniture store,” Jessica deadpanned.