A Greater Love (16 page)

The boy took his hand for a brief second, meeting his gaze directly, man to man. “Thank you, Senhor. Thank you.”

Daniel found it difficult to speak past the sudden lump in his throat. The affinity he had felt with the boy in the stairwell came back, strong and forceful, and yet unexplained. “Goodnight. If you need anything, call out and I’ll hear you.” Miguel nodded and climbed under the covers next to his sister.

Lucky wandered into the room and jumped onto the bed. Daniel thought the dog needed a bath as badly as the children had, but Miguel grabbed him with such intensity that Daniel let him stay. Once the children were gone, he could always wash the blankets, even in the winter. Or leave them until spring. It wasn’t as if Daniel was expecting more visitors any time soon.

Daniel and Cristina left, flicking the switch by the door and plunging the room into darkness. Thin shafts of light from the moon and stars slipped through a break in the curtains and fell onto the bed where Miguel watched them with the dark eyes that seemed to take in everything.

Are you afraid of the dark?
Daniel wanted to ask but bit back the words; he doubted there was much that frightened this child, and asking would only embarrass both of them.

Cristina paused in the entryway. “Well, I guess I should go.” The gentle light from the globed chandelier made her face soft. Daniel watched her scoop up a few porcelain knickknacks on the shelf under the big mirror on the wall outside the bathroom. He recognized them as a gift his mother had given her several years ago for her birthday.

“You don’t have to go yet.” For a while things had almost been back to normal between them.

She didn’t meet his gaze. “I do. I would like to get a few books, though.” She went into the TV room where her books lined the top shelf on their entertainment center. Her step faltered as she caught sight of the divorce papers on the coffee table between the television and the couch. Her face reddened. “You haven’t signed them.”

“No.”

“Why?”

He sat before answering. “I don’t want a divorce.”

“There’s no other way.” She slumped onto the couch, as far away from him as possible.

“I saw your face when you thought I had another woman in there. You still love me.”

Her faced stiffened. “Until you sign the papers, we can’t go on with our lives.”

They sat in heavy silence. Daniel didn’t want to go on with his life, not without her. “Please, Cristina. Please. I love you. I’ll do anything.”

“Anything but what I need.”

“This is between us,” he said, trying to keep his need for her from his voice. “It’s not about a baby. Look at those poor children. Can you image their lives? This is the real world.”

“What are you going to do with them?”

He matched her tone. “I guess I’ll take them to whoever’s in charge of orphans or whatever. Tomorrow I’ll call Claudia. She’ll know who’s over that area.”

“But it’s a weekend.”

“So?”

“That means they won’t be processed until Monday. If then. With Christmas two weeks away, things will be slow. They’ll probably stay at some clinic or something. They won’t like it.”

“They probably won’t like any place they’re put.” Even to him his voice sounded grim.

“Maybe they could be adopted.”

“We can’t fool ourselves. Miguel is already too old for anyone to want to adopt—I know I certainly wouldn’t want the problems he’d cause. And our orphanages have so much bureaucracy that by the time the red tape is finished, Sara will be too old as well.”

“It could happen. They’re beautiful children.” A stubborn note echoed in the words. “Did you see Sara’s eyes? And Miguel, he’s special. I feel it. Can’t you give them a few more days? They deserve some reward for bringing your wallet back—they came from such a long way for two little kids. Don’t turn them in until Monday. At least then they won’t have to go through so many changes.”

Daniel sat beside her, an idea forming in his mind. If he had time with her, maybe he could win her back. “I can’t do it, Cristina. I know nothing about children. I feel sorry for them. Really, I do. But they aren’t my problem.”

She said something so soft he couldn’t make out the words.

“What?”

“I could help,” she said, louder this time.

“You’d stay?” He reached out to touch her face, but she drew away.

“On the couch. Just to help you with the children.” She arose, and Daniel stood with her.

“Okay.” It was enough to have her near, to smell her perfume, to hear her voice. “But I’ll sleep here. You can take the bed.”

“Thank you.” Unshed tears glimmered in her eyes.

“Cristina?”

“Yes?”

“I really do love you.”

Her eyes flicked to the divorce papers on the coffee table. “I know. I love you too.” With that, she left the room. For a long time Daniel did nothing but stare at the loathsome documents and wish he could turn back the clock.

A shadow moved in the entryway, but when Daniel went to look, whoever it was had disappeared.

Chapter Fourteen

“Oh, Miguel! It ain’t no dream!” Sara bounced on the soft bed, tumbling on top of him. Despite the pain it caused in his ribs where Carlos had hit him, Miguel laughed and tickled her stomach. Lucky jumped up from his comfortable place in the middle of the bed and bounded into the fray, growling.

“Silly dog,” Miguel said, letting the puppy bite his fingers playfully.

“It’s so warm and so pretty, and I ain’t never saw so many strange things before,” Sara bubbled on. “Is this how it was in the house we use to lived? That man is so nice. Just like his picture. And Cristina. Don’t ya wish she could be our mother?”

Miguel’s smile dimmed. He patted the comfortable bulge his mother’s necklace and identity card made in his shirt pocket where he had pinned them both to avoid questions. “No, I don’t. Mamãe was special.”

“I don’t mean to be her, I just mean to take care of us like Octávia did.” Her voice dropped. “I bet she wouldn’t slap ya or make ya steal.”

He sat up and frowned. “It ain’t gonna happen, Sara. I heard ’em talkin’ last night after you was asleep. I snuck into the hall and listened. They said they was gonna take us to the orphanage come Monday.”

Daniel’s words of the night before had pierced Miguel’s soul: “Miguel is already too old for anyone to want to adopt—I know I certainly wouldn’t want the problems he’d cause.”

He knew the man was right, but it hurt all the same. Sara might have a chance to find a nice family, but it was too late for him. Good thing he didn’t need anyone but Sara.

Sara’s face fell, and Miguel wished he hadn’t told her. “But can we stay till then? Please?”

He nodded. “I guess so. But don’t tell ’em nothin’ ’bout where we come from.”

“You told me that a million times. I ain’t stupid.”

“I know, but sometimes you’re too trustin’. You don’t wanna go to the orphanage, do ya?”

Sara sniffed. “Course not. But I don’t like to be cold either.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll find a place. Maybe I’ll slip away today to do some huntin’.”

Sara’s eyes grew scared. “Don’t leave me here alone.”

“Didn’t I say I’ll always take care of ya?” He made a funny face until she smiled again, bringing sun back into the room. “Let’s go see if they’re awake.”

* * * * *

Daniel slept fitfully on the couch and his neck was stiff and sore when he awoke. A child laughed. He opened his eyes to find Sara watching him. She smiled, and despite his lousy night, Daniel felt an odd contentment. “Bom dia.”

“Good mornin’,” the girl returned the greeting. Her eyes focused on the entertainment center. “Wow.”

“What? Haven’t you ever seen a television?”

She shrugged. “Not on. Miguel has, though, at the mall. He told me. But I was lookin’ at your books. I ain’t never saw so many together. We had a book, ya know. A Bible. Miguel read from it sometimes ’bout Ma—I mean, angels.”

“Miguel knows how to read?” Daniel asked, interested. That would show some sign of formal schooling.

“He asked Octávia to teach him when we was little, but she got real mad and hit him with the lantern. That’s when he got cut on his face.”

Daniel’s stomach twisted; he had noticed the jagged scar on Miguel’s jaw.

“I think she got mad ’cause she didn’t know how to read herself,” Sara confided. “She never looked once at that Bible. It just sat there on the shelf. So Miguel taught himself. He’s real good at learnin’ stuff.” Her voice lowered. “But it’s strange. Sometimes he reads the same verse ’bout angels but from a different page. I guess the good Lord found us so stubborn, he had to say things over and over, so we’d pay attention.”

Daniel smiled. That much at least was true. “What happened to the book?”

“Them boys got it now, I think.”

“The ones who hit Miguel?” Daniel guessed. Her head bobbed in agreement, but she still stared at the books. “What does your mother think about that?” he asked carefully.

Her eyes turned away from the books and studied him. In those gold-flecked orbs he could see the same intelligence that shined from Miguel’s face. “Don’t know,” she replied after a long moment. “I just don’t know.”

“What about Octávia?” If Daniel could learn who this woman was, it might go a long way toward finding out more about their circumstances. She must have been close to the children if Miguel had asked her to teach him to read.

But Sara clenched her lips tight and would say no more, regardless how much Daniel probed. Finally, he suggested something to eat. A delicious smell wafted in from the entryway, making it difficult to concentrate on anything else. In the kitchen, they found Cristina humming as she prepared a feast for breakfast. Miguel stood near the stove with Lucky in his arms, watching, their eyes rarely leaving the food. Plastic sacks filled with groceries lined the counter top.

“I went to the store this morning while you slept.” Cristina opened a cupboard to put a box away and frowned at a sack of coconut cookies perched in the corner. “Oh, yuck! Daniel, how many times have I told you to shut the bag? These cookies have bugs in them now. And when was the last time you cleaned the cupboard?”

“Uh,” Daniel began. It hadn’t seemed important.

“Miguel says bugs is a good sign,” Sara put in, reaching for the bag. “It means the food’s good. Can I have ’em?”

Cristina’s face turned sour as she kept the cookies out of Sara’s reach. She met Daniel’s gaze with a steady stare, a silent plea in her eyes. He looked away. “Smart boy, Miguel,” he said. “To some degree, he’s right.” He winked at the child. “In fact, those bugs might add a little protein.”

“I’d like to see
you
eat some.” Cristina glared at him, her flushed face making her even more attractive. She crumpled the package of cookies and threw it into the short garbage can between the stove and the counter. “I’ll buy you new cookies today, Sara. I’ll not have anyone eating bugs in my house.”

“
Your
house?” The night on the couch hadn’t added to Daniel’s humor. The apartment was his, according to the divorce papers, while she would keep their savings account.

Cristina caught her breath and turned away from him. Daniel felt Miguel and Sara staring in consternation, though they couldn’t possibly understand the implications. Or could they?

He rotated on his heel and strode from the kitchen, heading for his room and the adjoining private bathroom where he would take a hot shower. He saw that the double bed he and Cristina had once shared was neatly arranged, without a trace of her having slept there. He wanted to hug the pillow to his chest and see if it held her scent. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad agreeing to having a child—if only she would come back.

He hit his fist against the wall, wincing at the pain. No! He couldn’t agree to give life to a child he didn’t want and wouldn’t love. Like the old saying, he had to be true to himself.

A short time later, he found Cristina and the children readying to leave the apartment. Miguel and Sara wore the clothes Cristina had washed the night before and dried this morning by the electric heater. They had a line out the back window, of course, but clothes took forever to dry in this weather. Maybe he should buy a dryer. Many of his co-workers had them now.

“We’re going out. Want to come?” Cristina asked.

“Where are you going?”

“We’re going to buy some clothes and a leash and collar for Lucky. Then we’ll go for a drive.”

Cristina had on her determined look and Daniel knew it was useless to protest. “Okay,” he said. “I’d like to come.”

His wife appeared surprised, but Sara slipped her small hand in his. “I knew you was gonna come,” she whispered.

“What about Lucky?” asked Miguel

“He can come, too,” Cristina said a little hesitantly. “He’ll have to stay in the car while we’re inside the store. I hope he doesn’t get carsick.”

“He don’t,” Miguel insisted. “I took him on the bus before and he was fine.”

They went to several stores, and soon Sara and Miguel were outfitted warmly and tastefully, from thick coats to the new leather shoes on their feet. Their old clothing disappeared into the waste bins of the various establishments.

“Thank you. I ain’t never had a coat before,” Sara said politely. Miguel said nothing, but he stared at his new shoes for long moments.

“I’ve never had a coat before,” Daniel corrected for what seemed the millionth time.

“But ya got one on now,” Sara answered. Cristina hid a smile.

Daniel felt more comfortable with the children now that they were dressed decently, and being with them made Daniel see the world in a new light—the car, the stores, clothes. Even ordinary things like a mirror took on a new dimension. While waiting for Cristina to finish paying for the new shoes, Sara squatted down and stared at herself in the short mirror near the register, making odd faces, and laughing. At her antics, Daniel’s own face seemed to form a permanent smile as if it had a will of its own.

Cristina drove through the town, pointing out sights of interest. “There’s where I work,” she told the children. Her travel agency was located only a few blocks from his apartment, well within walking distance. Daniel wondered if her new apartment was as close.