A Heart Decision (19 page)

The bedside phone rang. When he picked up the
receiver, Ben muttered in his ear, “Stay in bed tomorrow. I’m going
to LA alone.”

The following day, they were scheduled to tour the
manufacturing facility of a floundering cosmetics company and meet
with an actress who had approached Ben about the possibility of
sinking several million dollars into a line of skin care products
she hoped to use her celebrity status to promote.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Stay home and catch up with your other
clients. You can spend some time with Annie and the kids. I’ll do
the face-to-face, and you can follow up on the phone with any
questions I don’t cover.”

Annie slid off the bed and motioned to Tyler that
she was taking Sam back to the nursery.

He nodded to her and said into the phone, “I thought
you didn’t want to meet a man-eater like Laney Davis alone?”

“I don’t.” Ben sighed. “But what the hell, it might
do me some good to get laid for my money right now.”

“Luke told me what happened between him and my
sister. I’m sorry, pal, but you deserve everything you got. What’d
you think would happen?”

“I don’t know. I was acting more out of desperation
than good sense. Before I realized how the idiot felt about
Sabrina, I figured I could eventually help her forget him. But
after I discovered he’s in love with her, too, I knew my marriage
would be doomed unless Sabrina underwent some sort of
Luke
Marino exorcism
.”

“I just couldn’t believe you put him in that
position—especially with what he’s dealing with. And now you have
the balls to be mad at him when he did exactly what you asked.”

“What do you mean?” A suspicious tone laced Ben’s
voice. “What’s Luke dealing with? Other than a lousy broken ankle,
which, in six weeks, I guarantee he’ll be hanging from while bungee
jumping.”

Damn it. Tyler punched the pillow. Annie was going
to kill him. He hadn’t meant to open his fat mouth. But, hell, he
needed to unload on someone, too, and he’d only promised he
wouldn’t say anything to Luke. “Sit down, Beej. We need to
talk.”

~*~

Damn, she was gorgeous.

While Sabrina brushed her teeth, Luke lay in bed and
admired the reflection in the bedroom mirror of her silk nightie
clinging to her curves. Watching her go through her nightly routine
was way too reminiscent of the intimacy a married couple
shared.

He rubbed his chest, attempting to ease the tight
yearning to keep her with him forever. In the last two days, he’d
begun to fantasize about selfishly doing just that and taking his
father and brother’s way out before he became a burden to her.

But after watching Sabrina cuddle Sam earlier that
evening, he couldn’t even contemplate it. She was meant to be a
mother. And even if they used a sperm donor, he couldn’t bear the
thought of his kids losing their father the way he had. He’d seen
the hardship his mom had endured as a single parent. Even if he
hadn’t inherited the abnormal Huntington’s gene, he was still a cop
who put his life on the line every day.

Sabrina’s toothbrush slipped out of her hand and
clattered into the sink. “Darn it.”

It was the fifth time he’d seen her drop something
that evening.

“So what’re you going to the doctor’s for tomorrow?”
he called to her.

Her spine visibly stiffened. “Uhhh, just an ordinary
old visit,” she mumbled past a mouthful of toothpaste before
spitting it out. “The doctor wants to discuss some test
results.”

“What kind of tests?”

“You know, the usual kind.” She rinsed her mouth and
the sink before turning off the bathroom light.

No, he didn’t know. “You’re being evasive.”

She crawled over him to the opposite side of the
bed, brushing her soft breast against his face. “I’ve just had a
few little headaches lately.”

Cold dread ricocheted through him, causing every
nerve to register the chill. Doctors didn’t usually ask patients to
come into the office to discuss the results of tests unless they
showed something abnormal.

Sabrina snuggled against him and nibbled on his
earlobe, her floral scent enveloping him like an erotic cloud. “I
can think of much more interesting things for us to be doing right
now than talking. It’s been over twelve hours since you made love
to me.”

Evidently, she wasn’t particularly concerned. Maybe
he was worrying about nothing.

He pulled her silky nightgown up and squeezed her
bare bottom. “You have too many clothes on for that.”

“Ummmm,” she purred in his ear and whispered, “If I
get as naked as you are, can we have wild monkey sex?”

“Unh-uh.” He stared into her eyes and stripped her
nightie over her head. “Tonight, I want to take my time and
memorize every inch of you.” He slid one hand over her face,
mapping her features with his fingertips the way a blind man
would.

Sabrina closed her eyes and moaned softly as he
explored her entire body the same way, reveling in its smooth
perfection.

Gone were the jokes and the teasing that had filled
the bedroom the other times they’d made love. Instead, Luke
concentrated on her satiny skin and heavenly smell, lapped up the
delicious taste of her rosy nipples, and mentally recorded the
sound of her pleasure to play back in his memory every night once
she was gone.

His throat tightened at the prospect of sending her
away. “I love you, Brina,” he whispered. “More than you’ll ever
know.”

~*~

Showtime.

Sabrina sucked in a deep breath to steady her nerves
as she pulled her car into Luke’s driveway late the next afternoon.
The tender way he’d loved her last night and the desperation in his
kisses while he’d held her afterward had simply bolstered her
determination to go through with the charade she’d hatched.

Since the previous day, she’d been deliberately
dropping things. Then, that morning, she’d feigned a dizzy spell
and shrugged it off when Luke became concerned. If she didn’t give
an Oscar winning performance, this plan would never work.

So far she hadn’t actually lied about anything. She
really had gone to a doctor’s appointment that afternoon. She’d
visited her gynecologist and had a test—her yearly pap smear. And
of course, anyone under the strain she’d been under the last week
would have a few headaches.

And when she’d stood from wiping the egg up from the
floor that she’d intentionally spilled that morning, she really had
gotten a little dizzy. Although, that undoubtedly came from bending
over for a solid thirty seconds and then standing too fast.

Now came the hard part—getting Luke’s imagination to
go where she wanted it to go without blatantly lying to him.

She smoothed the wrinkles in her denim skirt and
pasted a distressed expression on her face as she followed the
sounds of the television into the expansive living room.

“Did you manage okay by yoursel—” She froze in the
archway and stared at the room. It looked just like her
neighborhood had on Halloween morning when she was a child, after
she’d snuck out on Mischief Night to help her brother and Luke TP
the trees.

Luke raised his hands and chuckled. “Don’t blame me,
honey. The kids did it.”

“How’d this happen?”

“Mopsy dragged a roll of toilet paper out of the
powder room, and she and Dusty had a ball decorating the room. I
tried to get it away from them, but they’re faster than this
wheelchair. They’re lucky I didn’t run them over and turn them into
road kill.”

Scanning the room, she searched for the two little
powder puffs and said in her best
bad-dog
tone, “Where did
those naughty puppies go?”

“I think I scared the fleas off them when I threw my
sneaker.” He silenced the television with the remote. “How’d your
doctor’s appointment go?”

Sabrina sobered her features and dramatically turned
away. She hated doing this to him, but it was for his own good.
Forcing a quiver into her voice, she said, “Let’s just say I’m glad
I called off the wedding.”

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to face him.
“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She pulled her arm
away and strode back into the kitchen, summoning up the tears she
needed for a convincing performance. All she had to do was think
about what the future held for Luke if he was carrying the abnormal
gene.

The motor on his chair hummed as he sped into the
kitchen after her. “Well, I
do
want to talk about it. Now,
tell me what you meant by that.”

“Oh? So you’re allowed to have all the secrets you
want, but if I keep anything from—”

“Sabrina!” he shouted. “Don’t play games with me. I
want to know what the doctor said and why you think it’s good that
you broke things off with Ben.”

“Do you think he’d want to marry a woman with a
massive brain tumor?”

Luke stared at her for several seconds before a
string of obscenities spewed out of him the likes of which she’d
never heard him utter. “Can’t they operate?”

“What about brain damage? No man wants a babbling
invalid as his wife.”

“He would if he loved her.” Luke pulled her down in
his lap and tucked her tear-drenched face in the crook of his neck.
“Especially as much as I love you.”

“You don’t really believe that.” She sniffled. “You
thought Mrs. Klausen should stick her husband in a nursing
home.”

“You’re right I did. But this is different.”

“How? I don’t see any difference.”

“I don’t know. It just is.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter, anyway.” She swiped at her
cheeks. “I don’t have a husband to worry about burdening.”

“You could if you married me.”

Sabrina drew back and stared into his eyes. Had he
really begun to understand what it felt like to be on the other
side of the situation? “You’re asking me to be your wife?
Now
, after all the times you’ve emphatically refused to
consider marriage?”

“Yes. Please, I love you, Brina.” He cupped her face
between his hands. “Let’s make the most of the time we have
together.”

She wanted that more than anything. But not like
this—through a lie. “You’re only offering to marry me because you
figure I’ll probably croak in a few years.”

“That’s not true.”

“No?” She lifted her eyebrows. “Then, if the
situation was reversed, you’d still marry me and let me take care
of you?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Why not? You want me to believe you love me enough
to feed and bathe me, yet you don’t love me enough to let me do the
same for you if you were sick?”

His forehead creased. “How the hell would letting
you sacrifice your life and freedom for me be a demonstration of my
love for you?”

This wasn’t working. “Oh, now I get it.” She slid
off his lap and crossed her arms over her chest. “You don’t believe
I love you as deeply as you love me.”

Luke gazed up at the ceiling and heaved an
exasperated huff. “This is a ridiculous discussion. This isn’t
about me, damn it.”

Sabrina stared down at him and rocked back on her
heels. “Isn’t it?”

“No, I’m not the one with a brain tu....” A
suspicious glimmer lit his gaze as it narrowed. “There’s not a
blessed thing wrong with you except for your cruel, twisted sense
of humor, is there?”

“Before I answer that, I accept your
pity-proposal.”

Luke spun his chair in a hundred and eighty degree
turn and steered himself back out of the kitchen. “Consider the
offer rescinded.”

~*~

Sabrina knew something. How much? Luke couldn’t
tell. But her attempt to torture him by fabricating a set of
circumstances so close to his was too obvious to shrug off as
coincidence.

“So I was right.” She stormed after him into the
living room. “You only asked me to marry you because you felt sorry
for me.”

No, he’d asked her because he’d felt sorry for
himself. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her or of letting
complete strangers take care of the woman he loved. No one else
would give a rat’s ass that she loved a dozen pickles on her
hamburgers or that she kept her radio tuned to an
easy
listening
station.

How could she claim to love him and scare him that
way?

She held down the short hem on her skirt as she
scooped up several wads of toilet paper and threw them in his face.
“Who do you think you are? The patron saint of the pitiful?”

“Un-freaking-believable. You actually have the nerve
to be ticked at me after you scare the hell out of me for
nothing.”

“It wasn’t for nothing.” She snatched up the pieces
of tissue that had fallen back to the floor. “I was desperate. You
can spend your life martyring yourself for everyone else, but God
forbid someone who loves you wants to make a sacrifice for good ol’
softhearted Luke.” She waved the toilet paper at him. “It’s just
like you to adopt these mangy little pupp—”

“I came in here to be alone, damn it. If you don’t
leave, I swear I’ll get up out of this wheelchair and—”

“Oh, save your threats.” She shoved him back down as
he rose from his seat. “I just want you to answer one question, and
then I’ll leave you alone. Have you had the pre-symptomatic testing
for Huntington’s, or are you just assuming you’re carrying the
abnormal gene?”

Okay. So she knew it all. He closed his eyes and
sighed. In some ways, it was a relief. Now, at least, maybe she
would understand. “How’d you find out?”

“I was emptying the wastebasket in your office
yesterday and saw a newsletter. Are you going to answer my question
or not?”

“No.”

“No, you haven’t had the test? No, you’re not just
assuming? Or no, you won’t answer me?”

“I haven’t been tested.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m worried about job and insurance
discrimination for one thing. Not to mention it’s easier to live in
hope I’ll be okay than to live with the certainty I won’t.”