A Hero's Tale (21 page)

"Armsmen, their intention is to south?"

I shrugged. "Where else?"

I saw the answer in his eyes. He thought they were coming here.

The bear shield chieftain suddenly stood up and gestured to me to follow him. The two guards came too, one still keeping a firm grip on my arm, and the stout servant trailed along behind. We took another way to find it, but I knew where we were going. They took me to the tower room.

Again the guard rapped on the door with the hilt of his sword, but for a long time no one answered it. As he raised the sword to knock again, it opened, and the servant I had seen before peered out. When she saw the bear shield chieftain, she hastened to pull the door wide open and let us in.

The sun had just risen, and its light spilled in through the unshuttered windows. Elen was sitting up in bed, a shawl around her shoulders against the morning chill, sipping a warm drink from a silver cup. She was alone.

She smiled when she saw the chieftain, but when her eyes fell on me, she frowned, and anger reddened her cheeks. She was about to say something to me when the rest of them trooped in.

"What's this?" she asked.

Once they were in her private chamber, the guards and the stout servant looked as if they felt very out of place. They blushed, to find the Lady in her bed, and looked everywhere but there. The chieftain turned and saw them.

"Out," he said, in the language of the mighty. "I think I can master one small boy."

When the bear shield chieftain and I were alone in the tower room with Elen, she didn't question either of us. She gazed at us, waiting for one of us to speak. For the first time I saw her unprepared. She had no idea what was about to happen. She was at a disadvantage.

"Disturbing news, my Lady," said the chieftain. "This boy has seen an army gathering in the eastern hills."

I had kept my wits about me. I pretended not to understand a word, as he repeated to Elen what he had just learned from me.

"How did you come to hear of this?" she asked him.

"Our guards caught the lad as he tried to leave the house. He gave as his excuse that he had to take a warning to his people. Warning of what, they asked him, and then he told them of the army."

"He could have made it up, to convince the guards to let him go."

"If he did, he was a fool. It was that news that caused the guards to bring him to me."

"You questioned him yourself?"

"I did."

"And you believe him?"

He nodded.

"What do you suggest we do?"

"It's too late to send out scouts," the chieftain said. "Our enemies may be already in the forest. We must meet them in strength, and we have barely time to gather our strength together."

Elen's attention was all on her chieftain now. "How many are they? Have we strength enough to turn them back?"

"They will count on our being unprepared," he said. "Those that brought the assassin back, they will have told the rest that we are occupied with celebration, that they will find us drunk and staggering, like witless fools."

"Will our guests join us, do you think?"

The chieftain nodded. "If their lord aspires to be your king, must he not show himself a man? He dare not cower here while you go out to meet the enemy."

"Make ready then," said Elen. "Go now and give the order. Then return to me and let us make our plans."

The chieftain took me by the collar, to escort me out, but Elen said, "Leave the boy with me."

"Is this how you repay my kindness?" Elen said.

She spoke in the language of the mighty, I think to test my understanding. I blinked at her and kept my silence.

"Why did you withhold this news from me?" she said in the language of the common folk.

I saw no need to lie to her about it. "Lady," I replied, "I did not withhold it. It never occurred to me to mention it."

"You didn't think the presence of an army on my borders worthy of mention?"

"No, Lady."

"Whyever not?"

"I doubt they're coming here."

This much she knew from what the bear shield chieftain told her.

"Where else?" said Elen.

"They have been my people's foes for generations. They fight with us every year."

"Do they bring with them an army every year?"

"No, Lady."

"Can you give me proof of their intentions?"

I shook my head and tried to look more doubtful than I was. My plan was beginning to take shape. If Elen believed the northern army was a threat to her, if she gathered an army of her own and marched on their encampment, their attack on Merin's land would be turned aside. And if the northern army had marched south already, the news of Elen's army at their back would stop them.

I was certain they would hear the news. I understood the ways of armies from the stories told around the hearth in Merin's great hall. Some of the northerners would remain in their encampment, to guard their supplies and to keep secure a place to which their warriors could retreat with their wounded. Their scouts would warn them of the approach of Elen's army, and they would send messengers to call their army back. Better than taking a warning to my people, I might succeed in sending out an army against the enemies of Merin's house.

Through the window I saw the perilous cliffs, stronger than any palisade. With defenses like these, why would Elen send out an army?

"Would the northerners be so foolish as to attack this place?" I asked her. "I have never seen a fortress more well guarded."

"Northerners?"

"The northern tribes. They live to the north of us, so that's how we have always called them. I don't know what they call themselves."

Elen smiled. "We call them the mountain folk," she said. "They call themselves so many names no one but they could sort them out."

I wondered if she would answer my question. Instead she said, "Is not your home a fortress as strong as this?"

"It is a mighty fortress," I replied, "but it has no cliffs like these."

"Ah," said Elen. "These cliffs guard us, but they also hem us in. We can well withstand a siege, but sieges may be costly. We will not have help enough to bring the harvest in, and there will be no trade. Even one summer's siege could impoverish us. We would have to come to terms."

I was beginning to understand Elen's situation. In order to prevent a siege, her warriors must stop the northerners before they reached the cliffs. If it was too late to stop them in the wilderness, where one army could meet another on an even footing, they would have to stop them in the forest, and if they allowed themselves to be pushed back, they would soon have their backs against the cliffs, where they could be easily outmaneuvered. Fighting in the forest would be difficult, but if they split their army into smaller bands, they could harry the northern army's flanks and threaten to close off their escape. The northerners would have to stand and fight, or they might find themselves between Elen's army and the cliffs, and then they would be the ones outmaneuvered.

I remembered that I was supposed to be ignorant of Elen's plans.

"What will you do, Lady?" I asked her.

"We will go out to meet them," she replied. "Unless you can assure me that we are not their intended victims."

Her eyes seemed to encourage me to convince her of her safety, not because she would be reassured, but because she expected to be lied to. I knew how she would hear the truth.

"When I first saw them, Lady, I believed they intended to make war against my people. I have no reason to think otherwise."

"When did you first see them?"

"Ten days ago," I said.

"And you saw no indication they intended to come here?"

"No, Lady."

"And nothing you've learned since has changed your mind?"

I shook my head.

"Not even knowing they are also foes of ours?"

"Have you done something to provoke them?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"My people have," I told her. "Vintel, our war leader, the one I made my enemy, Vintel provokes them constantly. When I saw their army, I knew their intentions, and I was not surprised."

I saw the doubt in Elen's eyes. The more I tried to convince her, the more doubtful she became.

"So you would ignore this threat?"

"If I were you, yes, I would ignore it. For myself, I cannot ignore it. I meant to leave your house this morning, to take a warning to my people, but your servants prevented me."

"Ah," said Elen, "I am reminded to ask why you are still here. Did I not send someone to see you on your way?"

"I fell ill yesterday," I replied. "A kitchen servant took pity on me and put me to bed, and your captain left without me."

"I will have a word with him," she said, more to herself than to me. "He should have taken my request to heart."

"Lady," I said. "I need no escort. I will go willingly from your lands, and as soon as possible. I may yet have time to warn my people. Will you not instruct your servants to let me go?"

"You must think me very foolish," Elen said.

I could find no words to answer her. I did not think her wise, as Merin was wise, but to think her foolish would be dangerous.

"You are a skillful liar," she said. "Your words ring with truth. Yet one mistake unmasks a lie. If you were so concerned about your people, why did you not take them a warning when you first saw this army gathering?"

Elen did not expect an answer, nor did I give her one. Her gaze wandered out the window. "I knew they were up to something when they brought Maara here."

Maara's name on Elen's tongue woke the place where I thought my love for her had died. It hurt. I closed my heart against it.

Elen shrugged off her shawl, threw back the covers, and arose from her bed. Like a fairy queen she was, draped all in white. Her crown of golden hair lay loose around her shoulders. When she passed before the window, the sunlight pouring in revealed her form, as perfect as I had imagined it.

She went to the door and pulled it open. The guard stood ready. She spoke a few words to him I couldn't hear. Then she closed the door and turned back to me.

"You must accept my hospitality a little longer," she said. "I think your people will be safe enough. And of course, if you truly are a stranger to them, why would they believe your warning?" She smiled, a smile of victory. "You see, the fabric falls apart. You find the lie, you pull its thread, and the whole unravels."

The guard pounded on the door. Elen opened it, and the bear shield chieftain came into the room.

"Lock him up," she said, in the language of the mighty.

This time no one tied me to a table. This time they put me in a tiny room and barred the door. It was smaller than Merin's armory, windowless and dark, without even a pile of rags to lie on. I didn't care. I lay down on the floor. Whatever plans they had for me, it didn't matter. There was nothing more for me to do.

Once I would have thought myself clever for deceiving Elen with the truth. Once I would have been amazed at what I had set in motion. Now I felt only relief, that my part in it was over.

Elen wasted not a moment. She called her warriors to battle. I heard them making ready. I knew the sounds. I had heard them all before, in Merin's house. Armored warriors clattered up and down the stairs and shouted orders to their companions. Servants rushed about, packing up supplies. I heard the sound of weapons taken from the wall. Swords clanged against their scabbard pieces, shields thudded to the floor. For half the day I listened to the din. Then silence fell.

I lay there in the dark and dozed a little. No dreams troubled me. I had passed beyond the land of dreams.

When I woke, I sat up and listened to the silence, wondering at what I had set in motion. Two armies would meet, and when armies meet, they must do battle. Blood would flow and men would die. And they would die for nothing. All because a fat servant had caught me stealing a roasted pig.

How the gods must laugh at us. How easily the courses of our lives are turned aside. This time the fates had given me an opportunity. I'd had a bit of luck, and I had made good use of it. For the present Merin's land was safe. At what cost I could not imagine, but the safety of my people would be dearly bought.

Once I would have cared for those whose lives would soon be sacrificed, as once I had cared for Merin's prisoners. They too had been the enemies of Merin's house. Where was the girl who spoke for them? I could not find that girl within me. She was an innocent. I was not.

I felt no pity for the dead, not because I loved my friends so much, but because I cared for life so little. Their safety was my doing, but even now it seemed a futile gesture. Though their lives were saved today, tomorrow death would come for them again. Did not death visit someone every day?

I knew the lessons of the forest. Life and death do battle there. Every day the fight begins anew. The fallen fall by chance, and those who win their lives today will fall tomorrow. Some may pity them, a few may mourn them, but should we not instead pity those who mourn? Those who will soon lie down upon the field of battle, they will face their death for just an instant. Then they will forget it all. Those who survive will feel as I feel now. It will not be the dead, but the living who will feel the absence, as death takes hold of them, bit by bit, its grip growing stronger with each loss.

Why do we bother living? I could not now imagine how I had once found life so sweet. I could not find that girl at all. I tried to remember her, and knew that she'd had something I did not. The self that once I was would have asked the Mother to keep my loved ones safe. I could not ask. No words of mine would reach the ears of Love. I had fallen into the abyss, where love is not.

Now I understood what lay in the depths of the abyss. The hunters of the forest people had found power there. They had drawn it up, as they danced along the edge. I too had drawn it up. But now I wasn't dancing. I had fallen. Death had already come for me, though in my living body I still walked among the living.

Now I knew the truth that lay behind the shields the living fashion for themselves. Death is our destiny, and nothing matters. In the depths of the abyss the end of all things lies. Death is too small a word. It is annihilation, not of my life alone, but of everything that lives and of the world itself. In the end the whole world will fall.