A Hope Beyond (23 page)
“No doubt,” Julia replied. “Especially to Carolina Adams.”
James felt his body tense at the name. It was true that she was part of the reason he’d returned to Washington, but he wasn’t prepared to see her here tonight. “Is she here?” he asked, hoping against all odds that she wasn’t.
“Why yes.” Julia waved her fan to James’ right. “She’s over there.”
James steadied his nerves and forced himself to look. Then catching sight of her, he felt his breath nearly knocked from him. Carolina.
She had grown up in his absence, and on her arm was a gentleman who seemed quite intent on her attention. James ignored the tall, broad-shouldered man and instead studied the woman who’d haunted his sleep and daytime dreams. Carolina.
He wanted to rush to her—beg her forgiveness—declare his love. Instead, he was frozen in place. He watched her dance, whirling and swaying in time to the music. She wore a brocade gown of peach, cream, and green with pale beige lace that was nearly the same color as her skin. Deep brown curls bobbed up and down as her partner turned her first one way and then another.
“She will be surprised, won’t she?” Julia asked.
“I suppose she will,” James whispered. “Who is the gentleman she is dancing with?”
Julia raised her chin a bit, as if Hampton Cabot’s towering frame could not be seen from where she stood. “Why, that is Mr. Hampton Cabot. He is Mr. Adams’ commission merchant from New York City.”
James turned away from the dancers and looked down at Julia. “Are they good friends?”
“You might say so. Carolina confided in me earlier this evening that she suspects Mr. Cabot will ask for her hand tonight,” Julia answered smugly.
James felt as though she’d just twisted a knife in his gut. He wanted to remain calm, but suddenly the plans he’d once considered were falling apart. “And did she also express her feelings on the matter?”
Julia nodded, then smiled at her approaching husband. “Indeed she did. It would not surprise me to learn that they are already engaged. Oh, William, look who has come back to Washington.”
William Cooper gave a stiff bow of greeting, then took a possessive hold on Julia’s arm. “Mr. Baldwin.”
“Mr. Cooper.” The words were offered formally and without emotion by either man.
“Come, Mrs. Cooper, I should enjoy a dance. If you’ll excuse us, Mr. Baldwin.”
James barely heard the words, nor concerned himself with the obvious snubbing he’d just received from his former friend. Carolina might well be engaged. He’d come too late!
The musicians built the melody into an impressive crescendo, then let the refrain linger in the air only moments longer before striking the final note. As the dancers came to a halt, James found his gaze settle on the flushed face of Carolina Adams. He stared at her as if willing her to see him. And then, without warning, she looked up and caught his glance. A stunned look of what could only be described as dismay passed over her expression as their gazes locked.
Don’t hate me, he prayed, seeing the dismay grow rapidly into panic. He watched her turn to the tall, blond Mr. Cabot and say something, and when the man nodded and led her from the room, James knew that his prayer had gone unheard.
She despises me, and with good cause, he thought. But the anguish was still nearly too great to bear. He had never known such pain as this. It ripped through him like a hot knife—scorching— burning every part of him.
He wanted to go after her and plead with her to listen to his explanation, but what could he say that would make any sense? He’d acted in complete foolishness. His departure had been born out of selfishness and indecision. He could see that now, but he could also see that he’d fled confrontation and heartbreak. He might have gone about it in the wrong way, but it had been the right decision to refrain from marrying a woman he didn’t love.
Clenching his fists to his side, James forced himself to remain in place. He couldn’t go after her. She’d made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with him. Otherwise, she would have waited. Waited for him to come to her from across the room. Waited for him to return from Baltimore. Waited to say yes to him, instead of Hampton Cabot.
Carolina felt she could barely breathe through the tightly corseted gown. It was bad enough to know that she was the brunt of so much gossip. But to find James actually here, after such a long absence, was more than she could bear. She wanted nothing more than to forget him, yet his image followed her from the dance floor; and while it was Hampton Cabot at her side, it was James who filled her thoughts.
“You look unwell, my dear,” Hampton said, leading her into an empty side room.
Carolina knew it was unwise to be alone with Hampton, especially in light of her confusing emotions. James! She couldn’t even think his name without feeling the tightening in her chest. “I’m just a bit winded,” she finally offered Hampton, whose worried expression seemed most sincere.
“Here, sit for a moment.” Hampton helped her to a small settee.
“Thank you.” She bowed her head, unable to look him in the eye. Earlier that evening she’d discussed Hampton with Julia Cooper. Carolina had done a great deal of soul-searching and had come to the conclusion that perhaps the only thing she could do to rectify things between her sister and the rest of the world was to marry Hampton and move quietly away. At least then, the gossip might die down.
Julia had agreed. She’d even encouraged Carolina to promote Hampton’s proposal by leading him away from the crowd and into a room such as the one they were in now. Would Hampton believe that to be her reasoning? She had thought herself capable of accepting marriage to him, even knowing that she didn’t love him. He could take her away from Oakbridge and Virginia’s hatred, away from the misery of seeing her mother go completely insane. Julia had promised her that love would come in time. All she had to do was accept his marriage proposal.
And that was what she’d intended to do, but now all of her plans lay shattered. With one look at James Baldwin, Carolina knew her heart could never be in such a union. Hampton would demand her love and devotion, and rightly so, but how could she give him what clearly belonged to another? Carolina put her hands to her head, longing to force the thoughts from her mind.
“Should I send for a doctor?” Hampton asked.
Carolina shook her head and folded her hands again in her lap. “No, I’ll be fine in a few moments. Please return to the party if you like.” She looked up at him and found him smiling.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said, slipping into the space beside her. His large frame pressed closely to hers to accommodate the small settee. Carolina instantly tensed and tried to move away, but Hampton would have no part of it. He pulled her into his arms and whispered against her ear, “Not after you went to so much trouble to get me here.”
“I never—”
“Shhh,” he said, lowering his lips to hers.
Carolina’s mind raced in a hundred different directions. She pushed at Hampton and tried to turn her face away, but to no avail.
“Don’t tell me that you didn’t want me to do this,” Hampton said, finally pulling back just enough to look her in the eye.
“You don’t understand,” Carolina began. “I know what you must think, but it isn’t true.”
Hampton relaxed his hold, and Carolina took advantage of his surprise to jump up from the settee. Somehow she had to convince Hampton she could never be the wife he wanted.
“You have to listen to me, Hampton.” She used his first name, hoping the familiarity would calm the agitation she read in his expression. “I don’t love you and I don’t believe I ever could.”
Hampton came to her but refrained from touching her. “All evening you have presented yourself in such a way to suggest that you were very much open to receiving my affections.”
“I’m sorry. I am to blame. I thought perhaps I could.” She paused, putting her hands to her head again. “I wanted to give you a chance, but I can’t go through with this.”
Hampton reached out and took hold of her wrists. “You’re just scared.”
“No.” Carolina shook her head and tried to pull away. But instead of releasing her, Hampton pulled her toward him.
“I’ve no interest in games. You are a pampered little girl who doesn’t know what she wants.”
“You’re wrong,” she breathed. You are so very wrong, she thought silently. I know what I want, but it isn’t you.
Without warning, Hampton pulled her forward, and Carolina lost her balance and fell against him. He crushed her to his body and refused to set her free. “You need to remember your place. You need to forget about your books.”
“Let me go,” Carolina demanded, rapidly losing her composure.
“Don’t you know how much I want you?” He kissed her hard, bruising her lips.
Carolina stamped her foot down on the top of his, but her satin slipper made little impact against his boot.
“Stop fighting me and tell me that you’ll marry me.”
“I can’t, Hampton. I don’t love you.”
“It doesn’t matter. Besides, now that we’re here alone, your reputation is probably finished. You already know the gossip around town. Virginia tells me that you—”
“Virginia admitted them to be lies to suit herself. I’ve done nothing to compromise my reputation, unless you count this.”
Hampton leered. “In this day, the slightest unsavory gossip could find you forever unacceptable in polite society. You should be grateful to find a man who pays no heed to what you might have done with Virginia’s beau. I’ve had plenty of other women in my life, and knowing that you dallied with your sister’s fiancé is just proof of your youth. But here and now, the outcome could be quite different. You are no longer fifteen. Should they find us missing and locate us in a private hotel room, even a sitting room such as this, you could well be forced to marry me. Even your father would insist.” Hampton seemed to consider his own statement for a moment.
Carolina choked back a sob. “My reputation has already suffered considerably.” She couldn’t help but think of the cold, calloused treatment she’d received that evening by the Armstrong family. Virginia’s lies were still circulating among a few who wanted to think the worst of her. Who could know what the end result would be?
“Then cast away your inhibitions and come away with me tonight. Don’t you see how much I want you?” Hampton buried his hands in her hair and bent her back to accommodate his height. “I desire you, Carolina. Nothing else is of any importance.”
“Not even my feelings on the matter?” She turned her face to refuse the kiss he would have forced upon her. “Release me, Hampton. I want to go home!”
“It would appear your companion is less than interested in your attention, my good man.” The voice of a stranger halted Hampton’s actions and allowed Carolina to pull away.
Frightened beyond her wits, Carolina hugged her arms to her body and began to cry.
“Sir, you are not wanted here,” Hampton said firmly. “I must demand that you leave.”
“I defer to the lady’s wishes.”
Carolina lifted her face to meet the harsh gaze of her unknown rescuer. She bit her lower lip to keep from crying out in surprise. The willowy black-clad stranger was the same man she’d disturbed, nearly a year before, in a Baltimore cemetery. The recognition was instantaneous by both parties.
Hampton didn’t seem to notice or care. He was obviously angry at the interruption. “The lady is with me.”
“No I’m not!” Carolina said, suddenly finding the courage to speak. She moved toward the dark-eyed man, feeling the intensity of his stare upon her. “Thank you, sir, for your assistance.”
A part of her wanted to offer him an explanation, while another part wanted nothing more than to seek solace in the arms of James Baldwin.
“Carolina Adams, this is far from over,” Hampton declared as she moved to the door, putting the stranger between them.
“It must be. Good evening.”
She gave the stranger a single nod and hoped that her feelings of gratitude were clear by her expression. She hurried from the room, wiping her tears as she went.
She wanted to go home and forget that this evening had ever taken place. She quickly scanned the crowd. York and Lucy had already departed for the evening with Julia’s promise to see Carolina safely to their home after the dance. Julia, however, was dancing with her husband and seemed far too preoccupied to offer Carolina any assistance, and given Virginia’s deceit, Carolina honestly wondered if any of her other friends would even consider helping her. Even James was nowhere to be found. Had he left when she had so rudely run from him?
“If I might be so bold, my driver would be happy to deliver you safely home. I’m staying here at the hotel, so I assure you it will not indispose me in the least.”
It was the voice of the stranger. Turning to face him once again, Carolina knew there was no other answer. “Thank you, sir. I would be grateful.”
“Ben Latrobe tells me you’ve been a valuable asset to this railroad,” Louis McLane said, sitting back in his chair. James shrugged. His mind was far from the subject of the railroad. “And,” McLane continued, picking up a letter, “Philip Thomas says here that you have offered creative solutions that have saved the B&O a great deal of money.”
