A Is for Abstinence (6 page)

Cara kissed my cheek and left the room without another word. I continued to stare down at my wrist, my thoughts and feelings swirling out of control. This bracelet didn’t just symbolize a conscious choice to abstain from sex. It represented the only thing that ever came between Val and me. This bracelet—and all it stood for—was the key to bridging the gap between us.

Could it really be possible? Could I do it? Did Val and I still have a chance? Did I even want to try and find out?

I knew the answer immediately. Hell yes, I wanted to find out. If there was even the slightest chance that a future with Val was possible, then you bet your ass I wanted it.

“Uh-oh.”

Shane’s chuckle startled me out of my epiphany. “What?”

“I know that look.”

“What ‘look’?”

Shane smirked. “That screw-the-world-I’m-about-to-write-a-chart-topper look.”

I was startled again. I hadn’t been thinking up lyrics just now, had I? I hadn’t written a single song since Reid died and the band broke up. But now that he mentioned it, I recognized the familiar itch in the back of my brain.

Shane and I looked at each other for a long moment, and then he burst into laughter. “Well, I’ll be damned. Virgin Val strikes again.”

I stood up and punched Shane in the arm. “Shut up, jackass.”

He punched me back. “You’d better let me hear it when you’re finished. I doubt the guys will want to get back together without Reid, but if you go solo, you’ll need a lead guitarist for your backup band and I’ll kick your ass if it’s anyone but me.”

SIX MONTHS LATER

The last time I wrote Val
a song, she loathed it. Cara assured me things would be different this time, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that this plan was going to blow up in my face.

“Cara!” Shane hollered. “Get a move on it! You’re going to be late!”

Seconds later, Cara came rushing down the stairs dressed in a different outfit than she’d been wearing when I arrived ten minutes ago. “What do you think? Conservative enough?”

She tugged at the hem of her jeans skirt with shaking hands. I’d never seen her such a nervous wreck. “Babe.” Shane pulled her into his arms and planted a kiss on her forehead. “It’s going to be fine.”

Cara started searching through her gigantic purse for a tube of lip gloss. Some people smoked cigarettes or chewed nails; Cara applied lip gloss. “I just can’t believe she called me,” she said, waving a wand over her lips with a shaking hand. “We haven’t spoken in four years. I was sure she hated me.”

“You guys were best friends forever,” Shane reassured her. “You know she could never really hate you.”

I would never have admitted it, but I was probably more nervous than she was. “Just play it cool, okay?” I said, giving her a hug. “Remember today is supposed to be a total surprise, so you can’t let on that you know anything about it.”

Some of Cara’s nerves melted away and she gave me a cocky grin. “Have some faith in my ability,” she said. “I am an award-winning actress, you know.”

“Daytime,” I teased, as if it were a lesser accomplishment. Ever since she won Best Supporting Actress for her role on that soap, I’d teased her mercilessly. She loved it. She knew how proud I was of her.

“Be nice, or I’ll spill the beans,” she threatened.

She gave Shane one last kiss and climbed into her car. Once the top was down and she’d wrapped a scarf around her head to keep her hair in place, she blew Shane and me each a kiss. “We’re going to see Val!” she squealed as she drove off.

We watched the car disappear around the bend and Shane turned to me. “You ready for this?”

I felt myself grin. I was more ready for this than I’d ever been for anything in my life. Six months of hard work, and today would be my first payoff. I hoped.

Shane and I climbed into my car. Cara was having lunch with Val, but Shane and I had to be at the studio early for sound check. This was it. Today I was finally going to see Val again.

Shane said nothing about the way my knee bounced uncontrollably all the way to the studio. Then, he kept quiet about my nervous pacing once we were in a special guest lounge waiting to surprise Val. He did raise an eyebrow when I passed up the buffet table—crafty had gone all out for us today—but otherwise he let me keep pretending I was fine. It was Embry who finally called me out.

Once I’d written a few songs, Shane and I had to find a band to help us lay a demo track. We’d contacted the awesome cover band from my birthday party and we’d liked them so much we asked them to stay on as my official band for my solo album. They were psyched, and we killed it in the studio. Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but my new album was sick. I had more Grammys in my future.

“Relax, dude,” Embry said, smirking at the way I was chewing my thumbnail, as he joined me on one of the sofas in the waiting lounge.

I tried to hold still, but the large TV screen mounted on the wall in front of me went from showing the standby screen to a live feed, kicking my anticipation up yet another notch.
Screw it,
I thought and went back to work gnawing my fingernails down to their beds. Better that than have my whole body start shaking, tipping the guys off as to exactly how messed up I was right now.

“Yeah. I’m cool.”

Embry snorted with laughter. “No, you’re pathetic. Doing all this to impress some chick whose not even going to sleep with you? And you’re
afraid
of her, no less.”

I rolled my eyes, but cracked a smile. Embry was cool. “Not helping, you douche.”

Embry nodded at the television where the queen of daytime women’s talk shows was now spouting stupid crap about some lame blog she’d discovered. “So what are you going to do if your woman’s already spoken for?”

I let out a breath. At least I had that much going for me. “She’s not married. Google said so.”

Embry hit me with a suspicious look. “That doesn’t mean she’s not taken. What if she’s madly in love with some boyfriend?”

I was worried about that myself, but I refused to let Embry know it. “That didn’t stop me four years ago,” I said with a hell of a lot more confidence than I felt. “If she’s with someone, I’ll show her that I’m better and wait out the prick just like I did last time. It won’t take long.”

Embry raised an eyebrow at me. When I didn’t back down, he chuckled and shook his head. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a cocky SOB?”

The insult made me grin proudly. “Not today.”

I started to say something else, but then Val appeared on the television in front of me and my mouth went too dry to speak.

The woman on the screen was not the girl I remembered. Val was wearing a light purple pencil skirt and matching jacket with a white blouse underneath. The heels she had on made her long, toned legs look more delectable than ever—she must still play a lot of volleyball. Her hair was twisted up with just one or two ringlets escaping, and she still had that same damn
V
charm hanging from her neck.

She looked gorgeous in a sexy, smart, corporate-shark kind of way, and she walked with a self-assurance she hadn’t had back when I knew her. She’d always been confident, but now it was more than that. It was as if she understood exactly who she was and what she wanted. She looked unstoppable. She was beautiful. Radiant. So much more stunning than the last time I’d seen her.

Embry cursed under his breath. I chuckled as he stared at the screen with wide, shocked eyes. “Not what you imagined?”

Embry shook his head, his eyes glued to Val. “No way,” he said. “That woman is nothing like any woman I’ve ever seen you date. Not even close.”

His comment made me smile. That was the whole point.

On the television Val sat primly on a couch, smiling as if she didn’t have a care in the world while Connie Parker explained her story. She looked so…content.

Again, I felt a stab of fear that she had a boyfriend sitting in the audience who held her heart. I wasn’t sure what I would do if that were the case. I wanted her to be happy, but I needed a second chance with her, and I’d spent the last six months telling myself I was going to get it.

The guys in my new band all knew the whole story of Virgin Val. They’d even seen the movie. But they still all laughed hysterically when Connie played Val’s video—the one of her standing on a lunch table professing her virginity. I didn’t laugh, but my face broke into a wide smile. I loved that stupid video.

After the video was over, Val fell into telling her story. She was completely captivating. With every second of her interview I became more and more anxious—more desperate to see her again. I needed to talk to her, touch her, have her in my life again.

The wait was killing me.

My stomach dropped in shock when Connie told Val she’d found her birth mom.

“Whoa,” Shane muttered, falling to the couch on the other side of me.

I could only nod. If I was in shock, what was Val going through right now?

“Look at her. She’s white as a ghost.”

“Did you know they were bringing her mom on the show today?” Embry asked.

I shook my head.

“Do you think they told her that
you’re
here?”

I pulled my eyes from the screen for the first time since the interview began and looked at Embry. “I know they didn’t tell her. They wanted to surprise her and asked me not to say anything to anyone. Cara even had to lie to her at lunch and pretend like she didn’t talk to me anymore so that Val wouldn’t suspect anything.”

Embry laughed and shook his head. “What are they trying to do, kill her? The poor woman. She’s being completely ambushed.”

I hadn’t thought of that. Surprising her had sounded fun, but what if it was too much? What if she couldn’t handle seeing me again after they’d just completely shaken her with her birth mom? Whatever relationship Val and I had was feeble at best—if we had one at all. What if stupid Connie Parker just ruined my chances?

“Dude, her mom’s hot.”

I didn’t know which of my bandmates said that, but he was right. The original Valerie looked a lot like my Val, except my Val was better in every way. My Val was the New and Improved version of her mother. Val’s mom was like a nice sporty Audi, but Val was the new Aston Martin Vanquish.

“Ugh,” one of my bandmates groaned, frowning in disgust at the amount of emotions being displayed on the screen as Val and her mom bawled in each other’s arms. “I hate these kinds of talk shows. At least on Jerry Springer they fight instead of cry.”

All the guys agreed. I did too, but it was going to be worth the sob fest to see Val again.

Eventually the crying stopped and Connie Parker said, “So, Val, you recently graduated from Stanford with a double major in economics and political science, is that right?”

Val’s smile was so proud. She beamed as she nodded. “Yes.”

“Congratulations! That’s quite an accomplishment in itself.”

“Thank you. It’s only a break, though. I start my master’s program in the fall.”

I smiled again. My little brainiac was still in school. Shane and I weren’t surprised, but the rest of the guys were. They all laughed, and Embry elbowed me. “Stanford?” he asked. “A double major and a master’s program? Politics? What the hell did she ever see in you?”

“Suck it, dude.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you, Val,” Connie said on the screen, “to be the first female president.”

“Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” Val joked back.

“I can see the appeal,” Embry continued on, assessing Val with a critical eye. “But it’s no wonder you’re being such a wuss today. That chick is too much woman for any guy. Even the great Kyle Hamilton. Good luck, bro. You’re gonna need it.”

The guys all laughed again, but I didn’t join them this time. Embry’s taunt about not being good enough for Val stung more than I cared to admit. I’d accomplished a lot in my life, but I was on a completely different path than her. We were so different. We had different goals, were from different worlds. I already knew I didn’t deserve her. Maybe I was only kidding myself that she would want someone like me.

Finally, Connie took the conversation in the direction I was dying for it to go. She said, “Okay, Val, I hate to ask, but you know I have to—are you still a virgin?”