A Jaguars Touch (12 page)

Gideon could see both women’s eyes were swollen and red. They’d been crying. Clara stepped close to the bed and took one of Lydia’s hands in hers. Amia moved closer, as well, her mate at her back, but she didn’t take a hand. She just stood, watching with her arms wrapped around herself.

“Give her the shot,” Clara said.

With Diane’s help, he opened Lydia’s shirt and plunged the needle into her heart, forcing the viscous liquid into her. When he was done, Gideon stepped back, disposing of the needle while everyone watched and waited. Nothing happened at first, but he’d expected that. He’d erred on the side of caution when mixing what he needed. The pure adrenaline cocktail he’d mixed in would get her going, but it would also be what caused her death. Essentially, he was shocking her system into working then keeping it revved until her heart gave out from the virus eating away at her.

Her arm jerked first, flying out toward Amia, who quickly stepped back. Clara held tightly to Lydia’s other hand. Her back arched off the table she was on, and she gasped loudly as if sucking oxygen into starved lungs. She blinked and frantically looked around before finally focusing on Clara.

“Clara,” she said, but her voice was weak.

“I’m here,” Clara said, leaning closer. “I’m right here.”

“Missed you,” Lydia said. “Love you.”

“I love you, too,” Clara said, tears falling down her cheeks.

“So sorry,” Lydia continued. “Hurt. Many. Daughter.”

“Amia?” Clara said. “Are you talking about Amia?”

“Love her,” Lydia said. “Sorry. Left.”

“I’m here,” Amia finally spoke from the other side, and Lydia whipped her head over. Her eyes widened and tears leaked out.

“Amia,” she croaked, reaching with her hand until Amia took it in hers. “Forgive?”

Amia nodded. “You did what you had to. I know that, now.”

“Always. Back,” Lydia said and her chest rose and fell rapidly. “You. Safe?”

“I’m safe,” Amia said. “I’m safe, now.”

Lydia nodded her head, which trembled on her shoulders. Her gaze rolled everywhere as if searching the room for someone else.

“She’s going to seize,” Gideon said, stepping forward in case he needed to help keep Lydia from rolling off.

Her gaze flew up to his. “Thomas. Thomas. Thomas.”

“What about Thomas?” Gideon asked.

“Dillon. He.”

Gideon could see the frustration in her eyes at not being able to say what she wanted to.

“What did Dillon do? Did he hurt Thomas?” Gideon asked.

Frustration shown on Lydia’s face as she tried to say something. “Be…tray…ed.”

She started shaking then, her eyes rolling back in her head.

“Mom,” Amia called.

“Lydia,” Clara said at the same time.

One moment Lydia was in motion, the next she went utterly still. Gideon knew she was gone. Amia and Clara both began sobbing as their mates stepped up to offer comfort. Even Abby and Diane wiped tears from their eyes.

Abby looked toward him. “How did Dillon betray Thomas? Do you have any idea what she was talking about?”

He shook his head. “I’m not sure,” he admitted, which was the truth. He did have his suspicions, though. He turned to Tah. “I’d like to talk to him before you leave.”

Tah nodded. “I can’t guarantee he’ll tell you anything. He’s refused to talk to me, Clara or Murphy. Dillon’s remained tight-lipped no matter what Murphy does.”

Gideon was willing to bet Murphy hadn’t tried the methods Gideon planned to. But he wouldn’t say anything. He’d figured out earlier when he’d been invited to the council meeting that Tah wanted Dillon kept alive. Gideon knew if he had the opportunity, he would kill the shifter. It would be one of the few times he didn’t feel guilty at the thought of taking a life.

“I’d still like to try,” Gideon said.

Tah nodded. “I understand. I’ll make sure Murphy knows to expect you. He’s the one who oversees Dillon.”

“Tah,” Abby called, and Gideon watched as they turned together and walked toward the other two couples in the room.

Grief saturated the room and overwhelmed Gideon. Without another word, he turned and left. He met Zane at the top of the stairs.

“Did she?” Zane asked, and Gideon knew what he meant.

“Just a few minutes ago.”

“Was she able to say anything first?”

Gideon nodded. “She was able to speak to Clara and Amia.”

“How are they?”

“Grieving,” Gideon answered. “I thought the best thing I could do was leave for a bit.”

Zane nodded. “I’ll grab a shovel and head out. Clara and Amia will want to lay her to rest soon. I know just the spot.

“I’ll go with you,” Gideon said. “I could use the fresh air.”

They moved away from the house, walking toward the cabin where Gideon had first tasted Vic. Just the thought of her had his blood pounding in his veins. He wanted her—to see her and hold her.

“Have you seen Vic?” he asked Zane.

“She went into town with Finn,” Zane said. “Had to pick up the truck Reno’s driving to Oklahoma. We need to get it packed. We’ll be leaving for Denver tomorrow then traveling on to Oklahoma. Reno will be following in a few days. Finn and Murphy will shut things down here along with Vic then they’ll head down.”

Gideon nodded, following Zane around the cabin and discovering there was a small storage building back there. Zane opened it and handed Gideon a shovel before grabbing one for himself.

“I’ve been there,” Zane said as they began moving again.

“Been where?”

“Trying to protect my mate by refusing to mate her,” Zane answered.

“Vic’s not my mate,” Gideon said automatically even though he was no longer so certain of that.

Zane didn’t say anything while they kept going, and Gideon thought he was dropping it.

“I’ve also been hit with fever,” Zane reminded him.

“Mine is different,” Gideon told him.

Zane shrugged. “Fever is still fever when it’s roaring through your veins and only one thing will soothe it. Your eyes are almost always green, now. You’ve been growling since we left the house, and the only time that changed was when we got to the cabin. I’m guessing you picked up on the scent of sex that filled the air because you starting purring there.”

“I’m fine,” Gideon stated firmly. He wouldn’t admit how startled he was at the behavioral changes Zane had just pointed out. That was two people now who’d heard him growl without him being aware. “Vic made it clear from the start she didn’t plan on being a mate. I agreed.”

“What is, is,” Zane told him. “You can fight it. You can ignore it. Avoid it as long as you want. But you can’t change it.”

“I didn’t ask you for advice,” Gideon said.

“No, but Vic is a friend, so I’m going to give it,” Zane said, stopping and turning to face Gideon. “She had it rough as a kid. Her father’s a cruel bastard who made her life hell. Still does when she gets the burr up her ass to go check on him. She’s fierce, loyal—a person who will always stand for the weak and the persecuted. She doesn’t see those qualities in herself, though. She’s too critical of herself. But trust me when I say there isn’t a man among this group who won’t hunt you down if you hurt her.”

“The lady set the rules,” Gideon informed him. “She’s also the one who came to me. I never planned to touch her. If you remember, I asked that she be kept away from me.”

Zane nodded. “You did.”

“But I’m not walking away until I have to. And if I hurt her, it will never be intentionally. She’s not my mate, but she means something to me,” Gideon said.

Zane stared at him then turned and started walking again. Soon, Gideon realized they’d circled around and come up behind the house. There was a clear spot in a copse of trees with wildflowers springing up. It was a peaceful spot. Zane used his shovel to scrape lines in the dirt, lines that would turn into a grave when they started digging.

“What if she changes her mind?” Zane asked.

“What?”

“What if Vic decides she doesn’t want to let you go? What if she wants to be your mate?” Zane demanded.

Gideon shook his head, ignoring his sweaty palms and racing heart. “I can’t. We can’t.”

“So you’re planning to leave no matter what?”

“She deserves far better than a man like me,” Gideon stated softly.

“I think you’re wrong,” Zane stated, plunging his shovel in and pulling up the first scoop of dirt.

Gideon ignored him, digging his shovel in deep.

“We all have demons,” Zane said after they’d been digging for a bit.

“You don’t have demons like I do,” Gideon stated.

“You think I haven’t killed people? That Tah hasn’t? We all have, and we’d all do it again. Most likely will do it again,” Zane said.

“It’s different,” Gideon said.

“Death is death,” Zane argued. “We all end up in the same place at the end.” He planted his shovel in the dirt again, and the truth of that statement rang out as the blade struck rock.

“I’ve done things I don’t deserve to be forgiven for,” Gideon finally said.

“Surviving?” Zane challenged, and Gideon swallowed, looking away.

“I’m not worthy of a woman like Vic,” Gideon admitted.

“No, you’re not,” Zane agreed. “God knows I’ve done nothing in my life to deserve Diane, but now that I have her, I’ll kill anyone who tries to take her from me. She looks at me, and I find a peace I’ve never known before. And her touch. It soothes me as nothing else ever could. She is my heart and soul. Worthy of her or not, she is mine.”

“You’re a lucky man,” Gideon said.

“I am. You could be, as well,” Zane stated, but Gideon threw his back into shoveling and refused to comment.

They worked in silence a little bit longer, and Gideon found part of him yearning to believe Zane. What if Vic wanted to be his mate? What if she wanted him to stay with her? Could he? He owed it to Thomas to find out what was going on. He’d be there if his friend needed help. But maybe this time he could have someone waiting for him to come home to.

“I think it’s deep enough,” Zane said and Gideon agreed. “Let’s head back.”

They left the shovels and headed toward the house in silence. Gideon thought about everything Zane had said. Part of him kept hearing Vic’s voice saying over and over again that she wasn’t his mate. Part of him was starting to believe she was. And the more he thought about it, the more he needed to see her, but she and Finn still weren’t back from town when he and Zane arrived at the house.

“I’m going to head down and wash up,” Gideon said. He had no intention of going to whatever type of ceremony they planned to have for Lydia. He’d never been a friend to her, and he didn’t plan to disrespect her by pretending such after the fact.

“I think dinner will be a ‘fend for yourself’ night,” Zane said. “Grab whatever from the kitchen when you get hungry. The less we have to try and take with us, the better.”

Gideon nodded. “Thanks.”

“I can see you mulling stuff over in your head,” Zane said then shrugged at the look Gideon gave him. “I’d do the same. But it all comes down to two things.”

Gideon lifted his brow in question.

“Vic’s agreement,” Zane said. “And your choice.”

“My choice?” Gideon wasn’t sure he’d have a choice if Vic said she wanted him for more than the short time they had left.

“Do you want to merely survive, or do you want to live?” Zane asked. “You might be able to survive without her, but you’ll never really live.”

With that Zane turned and left Gideon standing there. Gideon headed down the stairs and wasn’t surprised to see most of them still remained. Amia, Clara and Abby were off in a corner of the room, seated close and talking. Abby held her daughter to her chest with a blanket around her and Gideon realized she was feeding the baby. He quickly glanced away and met the intense stare of Tah.

“You’re covered in dirt,” Tah said.

“I helped Zane get everything ready,” Gideon said, nodding toward the table where Lydia’s body was lying under a blanket.

Tah nodded and stepped closer.

“I want you to know that you’ll always be welcome to join us,” Tah said. “We’d be very lucky to have someone like you.”

Gideon didn’t say anything.

“I know you’ll be going after Thomas,” Tah continued. “If you’d wait until we get to Oklahoma, get settled, we’d be able to help you search. He’s Clara’s uncle. That makes him family, and family is everything.”

“I appreciate the offer,” Gideon said and meant it.

Once again Gideon thought of how much Tah reminded him of Thomas, but there were a lot of differences between the two, also. Thomas thought everything was up for sacrifice, everyone. And Thomas had sacrificed people and shown little to no remorse. Tah would fight to the death to protect those he loved. In Gideon’s mind that made Tah the better man.

“Offer will always stand,” Tah said then moved away, walking back to where Reno and Logan stood.

Gideon turned and headed toward the room he was using. He was in desperate need of a shower then he’d wait for Vic. He wanted to talk to her. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able do that before he touched her or not. Desire was riding him hard. But he had to tell her everything. Not just what he suspected, but also the things he’d done. Which reminded him, he also needed to check the new tests he’d had running. Once everyone cleared out, he’d go in.

He stepped in the shower and felt the warm water wash over him, cleansing the dirt from his arms and hands. His heartbeat accelerated as he felt clarity fill him.

He wanted to live.

Chapter Ten

Vic was tired when they finally got back. The stupid truck hadn’t been ready so she and Finn had spent most of the afternoon dicking around town waiting on it. It wasn’t as if they really needed to buy anything. The less they had to move, the better. She’d spoken briefly with Kenzie to let her know about what had been said. Kenzie promised again that she’d meet them in Oklahoma. Vic hadn’t asked her about the possibility of a pregnancy. Kenzie would tell her if and when she wanted to. Vic respected that. God knows she enjoyed her own privacy.

She and Finn had come home to a cloud of sorrow looming over the house. Lydia had passed away and Amia and Clara were both taking it hard. Vic knew they were planning a little ceremony out back, but she wasn’t one for funerals, and she hadn’t really known Lydia. So it didn’t feel right to go. Besides, Zane had told her Gideon was downstairs.