A Life Earthbound (23 page)

She had been so startled by Michael’s words and realized that she had no clue what he had meant. Only one thing seemed to stick out…was it true that his father and her mother were planning something together?

“Rhiannon, can I speak with you a moment?” Serendipity said suddenly as she glided toward them, pulling at Rhiannon’s arm. Liam released her, surprised by the force her mother used to jerk her away.

She pulled her daughter to the corner and turned on her, clearly upset and irritated. “How dare you let Liam paw all over you while Michael is here? How is he supposed to feel welcome and comfortable if you don’t give him your full attention?”

“First off, mother,” Rhiannon began, eyebrows raised. “I resent the insinuation that I was letting Liam ‘paw all over me’ when all he did was put his arm around my shoulders in a purely friendly manner. And secondly, I was being more than gracious to Michael as a guest. And he certainly doesn’t look like he requires my full attention.”

She motioned back to where Michael and Liam were having a heated match of wits, with Blythe and Jax joining in. Serendipity pursed her mouth in disapproval. “Such blatant disrespect. Lucian needs to get a handle on that son of his. Poor Michael is being harassed to no end.”

Feeling a headache coming on, Rhiannon rubbed at her temple and closed her eyes, not even sure she wanted to get into the many reasons why her mother’s opinions were horribly unfounded and incorrect. For God’s sake, both Liam and Michael were acting immature, it was certainly not one sided.

“It appears as though Michael can handle himself,” Rhiannon said.

“He needs your support, Rhiannon. He’s trying to get his bearings and fit in here, and you won’t even stand up for him!”

“Don’t be a hypocrite, mother. Father needs your support, yet you seem incapable of offering it,” Rhiannon snapped, the words coming out before she could stop herself.

Shock flashed across her mother’s face, swiftly followed by anger. Her eyes froze like ice, and her voice lowered to a dangerously quiet murmur.

“How
dare
you speak that way to me?” she countered, her cold blue eyes narrowing to dangerous slits. “If you had any heart at all, you’d see that I have repented for my mistake and how terrible I feel for what I’ve done to your father. But clearly you feel nothing but contempt for me in that black heart of yours.”

“Any contempt I feel is with myself, for not knowing how to deal with his pain. Can’t you see he’s hurting?” Rhiannon asked, even though she knew it was useless. Her mother would never see, because she simply chose not to.

“Your father is fine, Rhiannon. You need to stop worrying about him and focus on our guest. Michael specifically wanted to talk to you, no one else. You need to give him the respect he deserves.”

“I don’t care about Michael, mother,” Rhiannon said crossly as she rubbed at her temple, which was now pulsing with pain.

Serendipity’s eyes widened in surprise and she looked horrified, as if Rhiannon had told her the sky was actually red, not blue.

“You don’t care? You don’t care that he came all this way just to see you again and that Burke was nice enough to bring him? He wants to get to know you and you don’t care?” She looked down her nose at her daughter, disgust clear in her eyes. “When did you become so cold, Rhiannon?”

I’m cold because you’ve made me this way!
Rhiannon thought, her head reeling with the injustice of it all. How could her mother not see that? Any warmth she’d ever wanted, her mother had refused to give or allow her to have. Her entire life had been nothing but cold.

And for her mother, the ice queen herself, to accuse her of being cold, and then wonder where it came from? Good God, she must be blind…

“I don’t feel well, I’m going to bed,” Rhiannon managed, fighting to maintain her composure. “Goodnight, mother.”

Before Serendipity could retort, she left the room, brushing past Liam and the others, retreating so she could get her bearings.

She raced out into the corridor, the moonlight cascading through the stained glass windows and the torches lit with vivid orange fire. Her heels clicked against the stone floor, her mother’s words resounding like a giant bell in her head.

If you had any heart at all
…God, was it really her own fault she couldn’t understand what was happening around her? Why she couldn’t help her father? Had her years of building this wall to protect herself from pain and emotions closed her in, separating her from everyone else?

“Rhia!”

When she heard Liam’s voice call out to her, her chest clenched and she nearly stumbled from the ache she felt from hearing his voice. He, the one person who had given her warmth…which she had refused, time and time again, because there was something deep inside her that feared and abhorred it, even as she craved it…

She considered ignoring him and continuing upstairs to her room, but her years of carefully ingrained manners had her turning around to face him.

He jogged to her, concern in his eyes. She took a deep breath to try and calm herself, unsure if she could handle a conversation with him right now. Everything about him made her feel worse and reminded her of what she had given up all those years ago.

“Are you okay? I saw you arguing with your mom and then you bolted. I wasn’t sure…” He paused, his eyes honing in on her face, and the brief flash of pain he saw in her eyes. “What did she say to you?”

“She said she thought I was being rude to Michael. Nothing else.” She told him, eyeing him frostily, her mask carefully back in place. “Please leave me alone, Liam. I just want to go to bed.”

“No, that’s not what she said, because that wouldn’t have bothered you one bit. But something did, Rhia, I can tell. Tell me what it is so I can help.” Knowing she wouldn’t let him touch her, he tucked his hands in his pockets to squash his desire.

Rhiannon watched him for a moment, suddenly feeling very cold, miserable and dried up, just as her mother suggested she was. God, was it normal to want nothing more than to hide from all of it, to run away so she didn’t have to think about the regret?

“I don’t need you to rescue me every time you think I’m upset. I’m perfectly fine. Goodnight.” She whirled around, needing to put as much distance between herself and him as possible.

“One day, Rhia,” he called out to her, his voice echoing off the stone walls of the corridor. “One day you’ll open up to me again.”

“I can’t. I don’t know how,” she whispered to herself as she pulled open the door that led up to the bedrooms, avoiding looking back at him at all costs.

She raced up the stairs, and all she could think was that she was quite sure she was incapable of giving him anything warmer than ice.

She was cold and empty. Just like her mother had said.

In her dreams, she was a child once more.

She was perched on a graceful rope swing inside a brilliantly gilded bird cage, with a garden bursting with stunning flowers and lush green plants inside with her. The ground at her feet was grassy and pristine, and reminded her of the courtyard. But she wasn’t in the courtyard; she was inside this strange cage, surrounded by thick gold bars that glimmered in white light that seemed to come from the nothingness outside.

Beyond the walls of her cage, her parents watched her, pressed up against the bars like visitors at a zoo. She stared at them inquisitively, admiring their elegant clothing and beautiful faces. Her perfect parents, she was so lucky to come from them…

And yet, there was disgust in their eyes. She looked around, wondering if they saw something behind her that they found unseemly. But there was nothing, only flowers. Surely they didn’t hate the flowers…

And then it hit her. They were staring at
her
with revulsion and disappointment, and when she turned back to face them, she wanted to ask them what she had done wrong. Why weren’t they proud of her? But the words didn’t come...couldn’t form on her tongue, no matter how hard she screamed them in her mind.

She felt it then, the hollow ache blooming in her chest, and she glanced down with wide, terrified eyes.

There was a huge, gaping black hole, singed around the edges through her dress as though it had been burned. Where her heart should be, there was nothing but ash.

Her breathing came fast and shallow as she tried to come up with some logical reason why her heart was missing. Who had taken it? Where was it now?

That was when the cold settled in, and everything around her faded to darkness. Her bones rattled in her body as she trembled, aching with an icy chill…

And without her heart to pump warm blood through her body, she felt her skin shrivel up to nothing but cold flesh.

When she awoke, gasping for breath and clutching her chest, feeling that hollow ache as if it were as real as her own hands, she felt her eyes burn. But the tears wouldn’t fall, couldn’t fall. She had never known how to cry.

Instead she held her knees to her chest and rocked back and forth, the blankets pooled around her and the moonlight shimmering through the gauzy curtains at her window.

She knew exactly what had happened to her heart, and accepting the truth only made the ache more real. Her mother had ripped it from her chest the moment she’d condemned her for being with Liam all those years ago, and had cruelly convinced her it was for her own good.

But how could not having the capacity to feel anything, let alone love, be good for anyone, let alone her?

And now it was too late.

She couldn’t help her father. She couldn’t love Liam. And she certainly couldn’t cry. For how can one cry, if one does not know how to feel?

The next morning,
she tried very hard to justify her dream to herself. And so far, every argument she had only fell to pieces miserably, which agitated her even more.

She attempted to convince herself that all was not lost. Certainly she had spent the years of her life so far shutting out emotion and feeling, but that didn’t have to be seen as a bad thing. Why, if anything, she was more focused and more driven than she would be if she’d let emotions cloud her thinking.

That was why she was the most successful and the most talented of all the Dryads, and quite possibly all those in her generation on Euphora. She didn’t waste time dallying with emotions and complicated feelings. No, she accomplished things, and expanded her mind and learned new skills with her time. There had to be something said for such conviction, such devotion to her duty and her destiny as a Dryad. And one day, when the time came, she’d probably settle down with an Enforcer, most likely of her mother’s choosing, and have a child to carry on the Earth Dryad powers. And that would be that. No messy emotions, no unattainable dreams and no wasted time.