A Life Less Lonely (24 page)

“We’re talking about Nurse Haynes,” said Andrea.

“We are indeed. She’s a brilliant nurse but not someone to cross.”

“Hey,” said Andrea. “To my knowledge, I’ve done nothing to upset her.”

“I’m sure you haven’t but Dr Harrison has, so by default you’re part of this. She’s had her eye on Keir for a while now, with no progress, I might add. Your accompanying him on the Montreal trip seems to have aggravated her jealousy. I gather she performed her little girl lost act on him recently, with the object of begging a lift home. Oh, I know she could outdo any of the TV soap divas but Dr Harrison seems to have walked into her lair without having his radar switched on. Typical man. And this is a specially nice one.”

Andrea frowned. “Am I being a bit thick here, Susie? Has
Keir put you up to this?”

Susie nodded. “That must surely tell you something? If he was blissfully in lust with the copper-haired bombshell, he wouldn’t have needed to cry on my shoulder.”

Andrea gulped. “Cry on your shoulder? Obviously you’ve known him far longer than I have – is he so terrified of me? Would he knowingly not tell me stuff?” Her eyes showed her distress and confusion.

Susie cleared her throat. “I gather you’ve been less than receptive to his attempts to contact you. Also, he’s scared of hurting you even more than he believes he already has.
As for being terrified – he’s terrified of losing you, Andrea. Correction - he’s terrified he’s already lost you for good.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said. “His timing’s out, I think. Or else, he doesn’t credit me with much common sense.”

“Sorry?”

“The pieces are falling into place now. I see what happened. When he gave Moira a lift home and she invited him in for a drink, supper, whatever, he still thought he and I had no future together.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, you know. I’m here to explain Keir isn’t the first doctor to find himself getting into a pickle with Moira.”

‘I’m not surprised. She’s maybe a bit too anxious – comes over as a bit too possessive?”

‘That’s very charitable, Andrea. As a nurse she’s Florence Nightingale. Where the opposite sex is concerned, she’s a 24 carats bitch. And consultants are her speciality, if you’ll pardon the pun.” Susie turned to face Andrea. “So you’re not actually as upset as you know who thinks you are? You’ve known all along that Keir didn’t jump into bed with Moira?”

Andrea squeezed Susie’s elbow. “At first I didn’t know what to think. Then I was cross with him for not telling me later that evening, after he left Moira’s. It would have made things so much easier.” She paused.
Smiled. “You won’t tell him though, will you?”

“Not if you don’t want me to,’ said Susie. ‘So, what am I to say to him?”

“Nothing yet, please. If your paths cross this afternoon, could you maybe tell him you did all you could but you’re not sure you convinced me?”

“No problem,” said the older woman. She chuckled. “I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. In spite of his status and all that, I felt as if I’d jumped back in time. It was like I was trying to console my teenage son when his first relationship fell apart, though in that case my son didn’t take long to find someone else. I have a feeling the two of you mean rather more to one another.”

“You could say the situation between the two of us did move on fairly rapidly.” She hesitated.

“You don’t need to worry about me gossiping, Andrea. If it helps, let it out. I’m totally
unshockable after the career I’ve had.”

“Some might say certain things happened too quickly. I don’t want to sound as if I’m trying to write a romantic novel, but being in Montreal, away from our everyday lives, we created a little world of our own. I never ever imagined I could find that kind of happiness again. I never ever thought I could love another man after what happened to Greg.”

Susie produced a pack of paper tissues from her jacket pocket and passed it to Andrea, who shook her head.

“Thanks, Susie but I’m not feeling tearful. I’m feeling very strong and very sure of my mind.”

“I’m so pleased for you. It’s obvious to me how Keir feels about you.”

“Thanks, but I pushed him away, you see. Just like Cinderella losing her slipper at midnight, I lost my confidence on the flight back to Heathrow. The demons popped into my mind and I started worrying about what people might think about me, beginning a relationship so soon after being widowed.”

“It’s not that soon, Andrea,” said Susie.

“That fits with
Keir’s opinion. He was so lovely, so caring, yet somehow I couldn’t bring myself to let him into my life. Did he tell you how we got together the night he gave Moira that lift home? That’s what I meant when I said he should have told me what happened. She sounded so, so convincing.”

“He knows that now. In my humble opinion, both of you have been through the wringer. If Sister Haynes had pulled that trick with him a bit further down the line, he’d have run a mile. After he’d called a cab for her no doubt!
Keir is indisputably a gentleman.”

“And I’d have to be totally stupid not to take this chance of happiness.”

“The answer is yes and if anyone deserves it, you do, Andrea. I’m rooting for you but my lips are sealed.” She checked her watch. “I must let you go. Thanks for meeting me.”

“I can’t thank you enough. I have to make a little purchase before I go back to work. Thanks for taking time to talk to me, Susie, but most of all, thanks for caring about
Keir and me.”

Susie gave her a quick hug and turned away quickly. But Andrea had noticed the tears glistening in the other woman’s eyes. She’d been rooting for a happy ending. Andrea muttered a swift prayer to herself before hurrying towards the gates opening on to the shopping precinct.

***

Around seven o’clock that evening,
Keir sat gloomily at his kitchen table, newspaper propped up against a bowl piled with fruit he kept forgetting to eat. He glared at a mottled banana. He’d read one particular article twice, without absorbing one single word. He was prolonging the frightening finality of responding to the email recently received from Rhonda Pierce when he jumped at the sound of the doorbell.

“Please don’t let it be Moira Haynes,” he muttered. Maybe if he stayed where he was, she’d go away again. Except, his car stood on the driveway. Anyway, why on earth should he be so neurotic? The nurse couldn’t possibly know where he lived and his caller could well be one of his neighbours. They weren’t to know he’d rather snorkel through mud than socialise.

Reluctantly he rose and padded barefoot towards the hall. He couldn’t be bothered to put his shoes on, and no way would the visitor, whoever he or she turned out to be, cross his threshold. He opened the front door, peering suspiciously around it like a lonely pensioner longing for someone to share a pot of tea with, but dreading a nuisance caller.

Chapter Fourteen

Keir’s
eyes took in the sight of the woman he loved, standing on the driveway, clutching a large plastic bag in one hand. She wore a skimpy pink linen dress and sandals that reminded him of the kind of footwear you saw in pictures of Roman soldiers. His heart felt like a rabbit bouncing around inside a cardboard box. All he could think about was how relieved he was to see her but simultaneously how depressed he felt.

Neither acknowledged the other until at last she said, “At the risk of making your neighbours gossip, could I maybe have a word with you in private?”

He looked over her shoulder at the road and saw her car. “Have you brought Josh? Is everything OK with you?”

“No, everything’s not OK with me but Josh is fine, thank you. He’s with Lizzie and my mother.” Her eyes danced. “They’re fine, too. Or they were when I left them a short while ago. May I come in, please? This won’t take very long.”

“No. I don’t expect it will,’ he said gloomily, making way for her. “I’m well aware I deserve to be hung, drawn and quartered.”

“Really?
That sounds a bit harsh to me. Have you done something very wrong?”

“You mean apart from badly hurting you, letting myself down, letting you down, in addition to totally ruining my life? You can probably add more vices to that list. All I can say is how sorry I am, Andrea. I’m so, so, very sorry. You must think I’m some kind of a louse. I expect the Prof would have me horse-whipped if he knew the full story.”

He led the way into the sitting room, unaware how difficult she found it not to laugh. “Please sit down,” he said. “I’ll stand, if you don’t mind. I’ve already spoken to Susie so I’ve a rough idea what you’ve come to say.”

She settled herself on the settee with the plastic bag placed carefully beside her as if it contained a precious artefact. She sat, hands clasped round knees while her eyes roamed the decor. “This is a very comfortable room,” she said.

He spread his hands in a gesture of helplessness. “I’m sorry your first visit isn’t due to happier circumstances. But thank you for giving me the chance to say sorry.”

She sat back against the crimson sofa cushions.

“I really can’t apologise enough for my stupid behaviour,” he said, “but I’m not going to waste your time with excuses. You won’t have to put up with me hanging around and embarrassing you for much longer. I’ve reached a decision which I believe is the right one.” He sucked in his breath. Talk about burning his boats.

“Is it that you won’t ever trust a woman again? You won’t ever again allow yourself to be placed in any kind of comprising situation? Well, I find that rather disappointing.” Her lips twitched.

He glared at her. “It’s not funny, Andrea. I’ve made a big mess of things and I’m well aware it’s pointless trying to talk my way out of it. Why should you bother to listen? You must feel you’ve had a lucky escape.” His gaze travelled to the plastic bag, registering it but not recognising its significance. ‘I should have known it was no good hoping Susie McIntosh could work miracles. The best thing for me is to pack up and take a job elsewhere. There’s no way I’ll ever forget what we might have had together, but you won’t want me hanging round here.”

Andrea raised her eyebrows. “But where exactly are you planning on going?”

“To Montreal, as it happens. You already know Rhonda Pierce gave me her business card while you and I were over there for the conference. Since then, rather a lot has happened.”

He expected some response but Andrea waited for him to continue, her solemn, grey eyes fixed on his face.
Sending little shivers of longing down his spine.

“I won’t bore you with all the details. It was pointless telling you I was headhunted in Montreal. Pointless because I thought - I thought you and I were -”

She took hold of the mysterious carrier bag and stood up, keeping her distance. “Ah, so you were being lured by the high-powered woman who handed you Moira’s little trump card. That’d be the woman who’s very glamorous as well as successful. That’s a very potent cocktail.”

He shot her an anguished look. “Glamorous? I suppose so, if you like wafer-thin females. I saw Rhonda for a brief chat in the park while you were shopping on our last afternoon. I had no idea why she suggested I met with her outside of the conference. To my surprise, she wanted to sound me out regarding a position becoming vacant at her hospital and she handed me her card so I had her contact details.”

“And this job is better than the one you already have?”

He ran his hand over his hair. “Not better, necessarily. Swings and roundabouts, I imagine, now I’ve actually been interviewed. Excellent facilities, as you’d expect. And you know how fond I am of that area of Canada.”

She nodded. “So, let me see. At first, you opted not to take up Rhonda’s offer because you thought you and I might have something going for us.”

He groaned. “Yes of course, though I did agree I’d at least consider applying. Then on the flight home, it seemed you were rethinking everything, and suddenly we weren’t on the same page. The evening you let me call round to talk to you, I thought we’d finally sorted things. After Moira Haynes kicked off in the clinic, I knew I must have totally blown it as far as you were concerned.”

“That was such a fiasco.”

“It certainly was. With hindsight, I should have frog-marched her out of the room but no way did I want to cause a fuss.” He smacked one fist into the other palm. “After that you wouldn’t let me explain so I thought it best to back off and explore my options. It’s Rhonda’s own position that’s up for grabs, by the way.”

Andrea whistled. “So she really is holding down a top notch job?”

“She’s extremely able, yes. But her husband’s accepted a position over on the west coast and Rhonda’s decided she won’t be left behind. She told me I’d been short listed while I was still over there but before I flew home she told me something prevented them giving me their decision before I left Montreal. It involved one of the board members.”

“Probably just a technicality – you must feel pleased to have got this far. But you’re still waiting to hear?”

“Not anymore. Rhonda has since emailed the good news. A letter offering the position is being sent to me.”

“Congratulations.” Andrea’s voice sounded surprisingly flat.

“Thank you. I’m sure it’s the best thing for both of us, given the circumstances.” He paused. “I wish you’d tell me what’s in that darned bag you’re hanging on to. I don’t remember leaving anything at your house.”

“You didn’t. But before I tell you what’s in here, I need to say something about your innocent escapade with the lovely Moira Haynes. When she put you into a compromising position, you and I were still in, shall we say, a state of limbo as to our relationship.”

He stood there, looking as if she’d suddenly started addressing him in Urdu.

“I’d given you my decision not to allow our relationship to progress in the way you wanted,” she said. “That was while we were flying back.” She spoke slowly and deliberately, as if he’d just awoken from a coma. “And that was days before you gave Moira a lift home and she invited you in. For what it’s worth, nobody in the world would have blamed you if you’d decided to, um, accept her hospitality. You were at that point, totally single and unencumbered. Although, I’m really pleased you didn’t get too friendly with her.”

He still looked blank.

“It’s me that’s made a mess of things, Keir. With hindsight, you maybe should have told me you’d been to Moira’s house. When you rang me that evening after you’d left her, you sounded so unhappy and lonely, my heart just melted. I wanted you so much. I thought everything would be fine. Then, as you say, she kicked off at the clinic session and you seemed to go along with what she said. Little doubts crept in.”

“I’m not proud of the way I handled that situation.”

“You didn’t have a lot of choice. She was so out of order. Everyone says she’s such a professional but on that occasion she really let herself down. I don’t want to sound like a grumpy old bat but she really should be reprimanded.”

“I think that’s been dealt with, actually. I didn’t want to lodge a formal complaint, as you can imagine, but I heard through the grapevine Susie McIntosh made her views clear.” He managed a faint smile. “Grumpy old bat indeed! You’re absolutely right. Sister Haynes betrayed her profession.”

Andrea nodded. “Even so, I let you go on sweating and before I could come to my senses you sent round that bleak little message informing everyone you were going on leave. I cried myself to sleep that night.”

He took one step towards her.
“You what?”

“I wanted to come and give you my side of the story. I heard your side of it from Susie McIntosh. She’s a lovely woman and she thinks the world of you, though I can’t think why.”

She was smiling at him. He longed to take her in his arms but still didn’t move from the spot. “So, where do we go from here? I need you to tell me, Andrea.”

She shrugged. “I never wanted just a fling. You know that. I’ve been acting like a teenager with raging hormones. But now, if it’s a case of just a short few weeks with you before you leave, if you’re still interested in the job, I’m going to have to accept it. I’m very much to blame when it comes to this decision you’ve made.”

“Hello? Don’t you get it, darling dunderhead?” He moved another step closer. Now he could almost smell that floral scent he associated with her hair. She’d got a sprinkling of brand new freckles on the bridge of her nose.

“Get what?” She looked enquiringly at him.

He folded his arms across his chest. “I refuse to tell you until you explain what’s so important about that darned plastic bag.”

Andrea’s eyes sparkled as she thrust her hand into the red carrier bag and whipped out a new white football. “I’m sorry it’s not a romantic gesture like chocolates or flowers,” she said. “But I’m hoping you’ll come round to meet Josh as soon as possible. My dribbling skills aren’t what they should be.”

He watched her face crumple.

“Darling
Keir, I love you so much. I don’t know how I can bear it once you go away. But now it’s too late to beg you to stay.”

The ball fell to the floor and rolled gently into a corner as
Keir took three steps towards Andrea and wrapped his arms around her. She nestled against him.

“I’ve been such an idiot,” he murmured in her ear, his spine tingling as his
lips brushed against
her hair.

“So have I. If I hadn’t acted as I did in Montreal, things wouldn’t have accelerated as they did. I was totally out of order and I’m afraid I’ve hurt you very much and I’m sorry,
Keir. How long will I have with you before you leave Hartnett?” The words ran one into the other, punctuated by little gasps for air.

“You know what?”

“What?” She took a deep, deep breath and snuggled closer.

“Don’t you think we should stop wasting time apologising to each other and get on with the rest of our lives? Listen carefully, Andrea. I said we.”

“But, I don’t understand. Haven’t you already accepted this job? Much as I want to be with you, I can’t abandon my mother to allow Josh and I to follow you. I’m so sorry.”

He kissed her hair, her forehead and the tip of her nose. Then he kissed her on the mouth, softly at first but gathering momentum as he met with a more than satisfactory response.

This kiss kept them both occupied until at last she broke gently away. “You haven’t answered me yet.”

“I was far too busy. As if I’d even think about asking you to abandon your mother! The answer is you arrived just in time, my darling. I haven’t signed anything yet. And when I’ve finished kissing you, which may take quite a while, I may add, I shall ring Rhonda Pierce, grovel as much as I think necessary and tell her I’m sorry to have wasted her time but my circumstances have changed and I can’t move to Canada. Is that all right with you?”

She showed her concern. “Are you totally certain you should turn down this job?”

He picked up his wallet from the coffee table and pulled out a little cream card. Andrea took it from him, reading the elegant dark red script. “Carrie Michaels,” she said. “Isn’t that the violinist?
The one that crosses over from classical to pop?”

“I didn’t realise I was taking such a famous musician out to lunch,’ he said.

“How many more Canadian conquests has the man made?” Her eyes danced.

“Off the top of my head, one old lady on a hospital bench and a golden retriever in the park, though actually I think the retriever was a boy. Carrie’s a friend of Rhonda and her husband. We met at their home then she and I had lunch next day. I told her all about you.”

“You certainly made her earn her lunch, poor soul.”

“I told her I was considering moving to Montreal because I couldn’t bear seeing you at work without the prospect of becoming close to you.
Without the prospect of ever coming home to you in the evening and being part of a family.”

Andrea’s eyes were solemn but entrusting. “So, what did Carrie think?”

“She told me it was pointless trying to escape my feelings. In other words, she told me changing my job and living on a different continent wouldn’t work because I could never leave myself behind.”