A Life Less Ordinary (35 page)

“That’s
it?” Dixie demanded behind him.  “That’s all you have to say?”

Zeke
stopped and slowly turned to face her.  He carefully pondered the question. 

“
Thanks for kicking me
out,” he said finally.  “It was the best thing you could have done for me.”

Dixie
threw up her hands.  “You – you – you!  All about you!  Maybe I did it for me!”

Zeke
laughed, a harsh bark of sound that betrayed the anger and hurt he was
desperately controlling.  “Yeah, you did it for yourself – but considering you
had this guy for – how long? - while we were still together, I’m not feeling
all that bad about getting something out of it.  You never trusted me – and now
I see why.  Were you cheating the whole – you know what?  It doesn’t matter! 
It’s over and done, and I – stupid me – wanted to do you the courtesy of
telling you about TJ.  Now – well, I suppose that was all a lie, too.”

Dixie
shook her head, her arms crossed even more tightly across her stomach.  “No,
I...I like TJ.  And Leah.”

“Well,
I’m not sure if they’re going to like you that much, after this.”

Her
eyes flew to his.  “Why would you tell them?” she demanded angrily.

Zeke
laughed harshly.  “Why should I continue to shoulder all the blame for the end
of our relationship?  And why would I lie to them about it?”  He shook his
head.  “They won’t throw you out if you visit, but they’re not going to be
singing your praises, either.”

Zeke
shook his head and headed for the door again.  “Good-bye, Dixie,” he said, and
gently closed the door behind him.

~~~~~

“Did
you go to see her?”  Manny asked.

Zeke
hesitated.

“You
did, didn’t you?  What happened?  How did it go?”

“Yeah,
I went to see her – and I’ll tell you about it when I see you, okay?  Not over
the phone.”

“Oh.” 
The disappointment in her voice was palpable.  “It didn’t go well, huh?”

“To
say the least.  Of course, it could have been worse.”

“
Oh?”

“
I could be talking to
you from jail.”

Manny
laughed.  “How can I be sure you’re not?”

“I
guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

“I
do.”

Even
though the words were teasing, they set off an explosion in Zeke’s chest he
wasn’t expecting.  A mix of pleasure and happiness, and guilt, because he was
still writing his blog and still using her journey of self-discovery for his
own personal gain.  It somehow made him feel...dirty.  Not even acknowledging
how his own behaviour had doomed his relationships with women, including, yes,
Dixie, made him feel as bad as he did right now, sitting here on the phone
listening to Manny tease him with her voice husky with sleep, knowing he hadn’t
told her the whole truth.

Good
God, he was getting a
crush
on her, he realized suddenly, stunned.  On
Auntie
Em
!

“I’ve
got to go,” he said abruptly.

“Oh
– okay,” she said.  She sounded startled, but not hurt.  “Talk to you later.”

“Yeah. 
Good night.”

“Night.”

~~~~~

Manny
thoughtfully hung up the phone.

That
was odd,
Harvey mused.

Whatever. 
Somebody probably walked in.

Manny
yawned, snuggled deeper into her blankets and drifted back to sleep.

* * * * *

Rebecca
absently answered her phone, her attention focused on the paperwork in front of
her.

“Mom?”

Rebecca’s
head snapped up, paperwork forgotten.

“Jaime!”
she said, relief palpable in her voice.  “Where – what’s going on!  It’s been
weeks!”

“Yeah,
don’t nag,” Jaime sighed.

Rebecca
closed her eyes and prayed for patience.  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.  I’ve just
been worried about you.  How are you?”

“I’m
fine – and you weren’t so worried you didn’t go to Los Angeles for a week.”

Rebecca
pinched the bridge of her nose, her eyes closing in frustration.  “Well, I
didn’t see a point in waiting by the phone on the off-chance you’d decide to
call,” she snapped.  “Besides, I had my cell phone with me if you did.  Now. 
Jaime.  What’s going on?”

Jaime
heaved a long-suffering sigh.  “I met my dad.  A few weeks ago, actually.  He’s
wonderful!  I don’t know why you kept me away from him all this time!”

“I
didn’t -” Rebecca began then stopped herself.  There was a hollow feeling in
the pit of her stomach.  She was never going to convince Jaime
about...anything.

“Anyway,”
Jaime continued as though Rebecca hadn’t spoken, “he’s asked me to stay for a
while longer.  He wants me to get to know him; he wants to get to know me. 
And, when the time is right, he’ll introduce me to his family, including his
wife and kids.”

“Sounds
familiar,” Rebecca muttered bitterly.

“
Mom. 
Please.
”

“
Hey – weren’t you the
one who said I was too perfect about all this?”

“
Just – let me have
this.  All right?”

“
Fine.  Fine.” Rebecca
took in a deep, calming breath.  “I’m happy for you, Jaime.  I hope – I hope
you find everything you’re looking for.  When do you want Tris to join you? 
School’s out for a week next month -”

“
I haven’t told him
about Tris yet.”

Rebecca
paused, blinking.  “What?  Why?”

“Because
this is about me right now,” Jaime snapped.  “Me and my dad, getting to know
each other.  I’ll tell him about Tris soon – but I want to get to know him
first as just
my
dad before I have to share with him anybody else.”

Rebecca
swallowed all the words she wanted to say, reminding herself that Jaime was a
grown woman. 

“All
right,” Rebecca said faintly.  “Do you want me to tell Tris to call you when
she gets in?”

“No,
I’ll call her later.  Dad’s going to be here any minute.  He’s going to take me
out to the old homestead.”

The
old homestead? Rebecca thought dazedly.  There’d been nothing old about it
thirty years ago, and ‘homestead’ was far too simple a word for the sprawling
house and land Devon’s family had called home.  “Okay,” she said quietly. 
“Have fun.”

“I
will,” Jaime said happily and ended the call.

~~~~~

Rebecca
growled, “How I managed to raise such a self-centred child...”

Manny
said weakly, “She’s...just...trying to discover who she is.  Connect with that
part of her heritage she’s never known.”

Rebecca
snorted.  “That doesn’t bother me.  But to not tell her new family about Tris? 
Really?  That I don’t understand.”

“I’m
sorry, Rebecca.  I wish I knew what to say, but – I don’t.  This is one of the
reasons why I never wanted children – trying to understand their motivations
after you’ve done your best to raise them.”

Rebecca
laughed, but there was no humour in it.  “I used to envy you, you know.”

“Envy
me
?” Manny blurted.  “What on earth for?”

“Not
just you – you and Daisy.  Because you were young and having fun while I was
tied down with a child.  I – I hate to admit it, but I resented Jaime on more
than one occasion.  When you and Daisy were going out with your college buds, drinking
all night, dancing...”  Rebecca stared off into space, her lips twisted
ruefully.  “Playing with boys -”

“That
would have been Daisy,” Manny objected.

Rebecca
huffed a laugh.  “Didn’t matter which one of you it was – it wasn’t me.  One
stupid mistake and I paid with my youth.  Maybe – maybe that’s why Jaime is the
way she is.  She picked up on that...envy and resentment when she was a baby
and never forgot it.”

Manny
decided to ignore that last thought for the moment, but made a mental note to
make sure Daisy called Rebecca that night. 

“I
always thought you enjoyed your life?” Manny said instead.

“I
did.  Eventually.  But you know how hard those first few years were – how hard
your parents tried to get me to stop my self-destructive behaviour right after
Jaime was born.  After they died, well, it took the wind out of my sails.” 
Rebecca bit her lip as she realized what she’d said, and who she was talking
to.  “Out of all of our sails,” she amended, “and when you and Daisy came back
to the land of the living and started going out and making other friends – I
felt...left out.  You know.  The only one with a kid at that age, and working,
and I couldn’t play as much as you guys could.”  She shook her head.

“I’m
sorry,” Manny said softly.

“It’s
nobody’s fault – well, except my own, I suppose.”  Rebecca laughed slightly. 
“I did a lot of things that first year or so after Jaime was born.  A lot of
things...I’m not very proud about.  I’ve done a lot of things since.  I’ve
been...quite sexually active in my time.  But I’ve never fallen in love, and
I’ve never allowed any of my lovers to meet Jaime or Tris, and the men have
been...you know, just as anxious to keep things light and – and – on the
surface, you know what I mean?”

“
Yes.”

“
And now there’s
Jackson.”  Rebecca heaved a heavy sigh.  “He wants...he wants a real
relationship!  He’s in love and I just don’t know how to deal with that.”

“
At least he’s in love
with you.”

Rebecca
barked out a sharp laugh.  “That’s the bad part,” she said.  “He’s got young
kids – a little older than Tris – and I just...I just don’t want to deal with
kids anymore.  Especially not when I look at Jaime and realize just how much I
must have sucked as a mother.”

“You
didn’t – and don’t – suck as a mother,” Manny replied firmly.  “You can’t be
blamed for Jaime losing her mind.”

Rebecca
shrugged, and blinked back tears.  “Maybe I should have told her more about her
father.  Tried to find him when she was a teenager and she started asking
questions, asking to meet him.  Maybe I should have tried to forge a
relationship later on with his parents.”

“And
yours?”

Rebecca
laughed bitterly.  “You know my father – he’d never change his mind.”

“It’s
been thirty years, Rebecca.  Maybe -”

“Enough.” 
Her cold tones left no room for debate.  “Besides,” Rebecca continued after a
moment of tense silence, “Jaime isn’t interested in my side of the family. 
She’s never once asked about my parents.  She’s only interested in her father
and his family.”

“Does
she know your parents are still alive?”

“She’s
been in our home town for months.  She has to know by now.”  Rebecca snorted a
bitter laugh.  “Just something else for her to be angry about.”

“
Rebecca...” Manny
hesitated.

Rebecca
frowned before realization dawned.  “No.”

“Maybe
-”

“No. 
No, no, no!  I’m not going back there!  I’m not going to let them take another
shot at me!”

“You’re
not sixteen anymore!  You’re a beautiful, successful woman who raised her
daughter on her own.  You have a beautiful granddaughter – friends – a career –
a handsome, successful man – a life!  You’re strong and a survivor, and there’s
nothing they can do to you anymore!  And after thirty years – maybe they’re
ready to admit their mistake.  With Jaime wandering around with her dad, maybe
they even feel some regret over everything they threw away.”

Rebecca
pressed her lips tightly together.  “It’s not worth it.  They threw me out. 
Told me never to darken their door again.  Jesus, Manny – they would cross the
street when they saw me coming!  Your own parents tried to make them see reason,
and they refused.”

“I’m
not saying you should forget what they did,” Manny said softly.  “But it’s been
thirty years.  Maybe it’s time to
forgive
.”

“Yeah? 
What for?”

“So
you can feel like you deserve what Jackson’s offering you.  If you love him -”

“I
never said I loved him.  I said he loved me.”

Manny
hesitated, trying to decide how to bridge the suddenly tense silence between
them.  “Okay.  Okay.   Well.  I...guess I’ll...get something to eat...”

“You
do that,” Rebecca said coldly, and disconnected the call.

~~~~~

Rebecca
knocked on Tris’ door and waited for the usual ‘go away”.  To her surprise,
Tris grudgingly told her to come in.

She
cautiously entered the bedroom then gingerly sat on the edge of the bed while
Tris studiously focused on the homework she had propped up on her lap.

“I
spoke with your mother today,” Rebecca said.

“I
know,” Tris said coldly, but Rebecca could see her eyelids fluttering rapidly.