A Life More Complete (43 page)

“Oh, fuck off, Ellie!” I
scream as I step into the elevator.

“He’s a piece of shit,
too,” she yells with a small smile on her face. “You deserve better!” is the
last thing I hear come out of her mouth as the elevator doors close.

With my anger seriously
out of control, I set my plan in motion. I’m sure either Melinda or Ellie would’ve
tried to talk me down, so I’m glad I hauled out of there. Right now I’m riding
high on adrenaline, fueled by an intense desire to punch someone in the face. My
phone is vibrating on the seat next to me only adding to my irrationality. I
pick it up and the extensive amount of missed calls is ridiculous. I guess this
shit has gone public. Train wrecks like this don’t happen every day. And this
one is going to be big.

I’ve never hit anyone
in my life, but the urge that courses through me is so over powering that it
takes control. My fist connects with her face before my logical reasoning has a
chance to catch up. It looks so effortless in movies. Bam! The person goes
down. What is left out of a movie scene is the grotesque sound of cracking
bones and the blinding pain that radiates to my elbow. Fortunately for me the
deep guttural scream that comes from Trini’s mouth masks the cry that leaves
mine. I take her down. She crumbles to the floor covering her cheek with her
hand.

“Don’t speak. I don’t
want your excuses or your reasons. None of them will ever validate what you
have done to me. We’re done. I quit. We’ll just call it a conflict of interest.”
I head toward the door dropping my key to her house on the hard marble floor. “And
don’t even think about pressing charges against me for assault. I. Will. Lay.
Your. Shit. Bare. Don’t underestimate me.”

For some reason, she
finds it wise to follow me to my car. Her eye already swelling and blood
trickling from a cut left by the imprint of a turquoise ring I’m wearing. I don’t
feel sorry for her. I never will again in my life. Betrayal hurts worse than
anything.

“Krissy, please,” she
begs. “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.” Her
words spur to life even more anger than I ever thought possible. She’s not
sorry. There’s not a chance in hell she has given a second thought to the
ramifications of her actions. It’s my job to publicly apologize for her
momentary lapse in judgment, but not this time. She’s on her own.

“Fuck you. You don’t
even understand what it means to be sorry. If you want him he’s yours. I’m not
giving you my blessing. I just want you both gone. I’m going through the worst
public humiliation of my life, but you won’t break me. You won’t win.”

She stops just short of
the front of my car. “He doesn’t love you,” she says, her voice quiet, like she
feels sorry for me.

“He doesn’t love you
either,” I say and I see the look on her face that says it all. She wants to
believe he does, but we both know it’s not true.

I slam my car door
closed and peel out of Trini’s driveway as the swarms of paparazzi bombard my
car with flashbulbs. I text Melinda and ask her to meet me at Tyler’s office. Although
most of my serious anger is beginning to subside there’s one more thing that I
need to do immediately. I know Trini is on the phone with Tyler right now
crying her eyes out about how terribly mean I am. I know her better than I know
myself. Tyler claims to hate attention-seeking girls, but he thrives on it,
especially when it’s not me. That’s his game and it’s finally coming into
focus. He breaks me down because he wants me weak and vulnerable, so I need to
rely on him so deeply. He gets off on the attention it brings him and the pleasure
he seeks from it.

I pull into the parking
lot of his office, but I won’t give him the satisfaction of ending this shit
show on his terms and in the comfort of his office. This time it is my ending. I
slip the key to the car into the manila envelope that contains the pictures and
leave it with the building receptionist. I leave no note, no explanation.

Melinda flies into the
parking lot just as I’m walking out the office building. I climb into her car
and breathe a serious sigh of relief. I know I only have a twenty minute head
start on Tyler. Once he gets the envelope, he will be livid. I give Melinda
directions as to where we are headed and she follows without question. Her eyes
focus on my swollen and bruised hand.

“What happened to your
hand?” she asks, as if she doesn’t already know.

“I hit her,” I reply.

“Only once?”

“Yeah,”

“That’s some serious
restraint right there. I don’t think I could have stopped at one,” she laughs
and I glare at her. “Sorry. I don’t know what else to do. You have to admit
this is unreal.”

“Yeah, it’s unreal,” I
answer but my voice is quiet. The reality is starting to hit me as I come down
from my adrenaline rush. “Can you believe that slut? I thought she was my
friend. All those years of defending her.” I can’t even finish my thought and
suddenly the urge to punch something returns. “She has some fucking nerve, but
him. I can’t even begin. What the hell was I thinking?” My phone vibrates and I
retrieve it from my purse reading the text message from Bob.

Bob: WTF! Mel just told me. Did you take her down?

Me: I hit her.

Bob: Thank God you weren’t packin’ heat. I don’t think it
would’ve been pretty.

I can’t help but laugh
at his text. So true, but I’d like to think I have more restraint than that.

Me: No guns. Just came down to fist-a-cuffs. I gotta go. A
few more things to take care of. Call you tonight.

Bob: Stay strong sister. XOXO

Again, I can’t help but
laugh. He’s completely ridiculous, but that’s why I love him.

Melinda pulls into the
Home Depot near my house and I ask her to wait in the car. I’m in and out in
about ten minutes. Tossing the bag on the floorboard of her car, I ask Melinda
to take me home. She pulls into my driveway minutes later and I breathe a sigh
of relief that Tyler didn’t beat me home.

“Do you need help with
anything?” she asks.

“Nope. I think I’ve got
it covered from here. Could you just let Ellie know I won’t be back in today? That
is if I still have a job. I told her to, ‘fuck off’ and then I jacked her
highest paying client in the face. I’m pretty sure I’m a goner.”

“I wouldn’t be too
sure. She seemed genuinely concerned about you after you left. I think she’s
actually worried about you.”

“Whatever. Right now I
have far bigger things to worry about. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.”

“Alright. Call me
tonight when the dust has settled.”

“Okay.”

I quickly go to work on
changing the locks on my house. I reset the code on the garage door and
reprogram the garage door opener even though it placed me on a ladder,
teetering above the ground with my center of balance completely thrown off by my
enlarged stomach. This is accomplished in under an hour and then I move onto
the bedroom. I called a moving company from Melinda’s car and they show up just
as I’m finishing the locks. As I toss Tyler’s clothes into boxes it quickly
dawns on me that nothing in the house belongs to him. There is no jointly
purchased furniture or television. No dishes to divide up. It all belongs to me
and without a prenup in place; I’m guessing it’s all still mine. We married on a
whim and never discussed anything pertinent besides the marriage. The house is
still in my name only. My old car sits in the garage, so I at least have that
to fall back on. But in the end, I can’t help but feel that all of this is some
strategically placed move on his part. I don’t think he thought it would last
and after hearing his words on Saturday night, the whole thing has been a lie. Our
marriage built on a lie. I can’t act surprised. It was always there in the back
of my mind.

The movers take away
the boxes and with them they take the check for the first three months of rent
on the storage unit. Even in anger I can’t seem to break away from him. Still
making sure everything is okay. I’m pathetic.

Just as the moving
truck is backing out of the driveway, Tyler’s SUV comes barreling down the street.
I close the door and wait for him. Childish, I know. I could’ve easily met him
in the driveway, but I want him to feel the full weight of my humiliation.

Several minutes pass
and I know he is in the driveway pressing his garage door opener. When it doesn’t
work instantly I can picture him pressing it again and again until I hear his
feet on the steps to the front door. The key slides into the lock, but nothing.
He begins to mutter, eventually turning to a low yell.

“Kristin! Open the
goddamn door!” I slowly make my way over to the door and for once since hooking
back up with Tyler I feel vindicated and relieved that all of this will finally
be over. I don’t care about his response. It’s been years, but I can finally
say I am, for once, not seeking his approval anymore. I deluded myself into
thinking that the love of a good woman would change him. It doesn’t happen. This
isn’t a fairy tale.

I open the door and he
storms in tossing the envelope on the kitchen table. “What the fuck!” he
shouts. “You changed the goddamn locks? You’re being completely irrational, you
know that, right?”

“Enlighten me, Tyler,”
I say, my voice and my demeanor completely collected, but it carries a certain
rasp that it’s never had before. “What about my reaction to your infidelity is
irrational? This is the first time in six months that I’m being rational.”

“What the fuck do you
want from me?” he yells.

“Nothing, Tyler. I want
nothing from you. I think everything that’s been done and said is plenty. I
want you out of my life. I won’t keep you from the baby, but I want nothing to
do with you.”

“I don’t want you or
the baby. I thought I made myself perfectly clear on Saturday, but I guess I
need to spell it out for you. I made a fucking mistake, the biggest mistake of
my life when I knocked you up and then I followed it up by marrying you.”

For as long as I’ve
known Tyler I never expected him to become so vile. I can’t even stand to look
at him right now. His expression is so filled with hatred and rage.

In a moment of weakness
my stupidity creeps out, “Why her? Why not anyone else? How could a nineteen
year old train wreck steal my husband?”

“She didn’t steal me,
Krissy. I chose her.” Hearing his words brings back that feeling I had when I
hauled into Trini’s face with my fist.

“Oh my God,” I say, my
tone full of sarcasm. “That’s so sweet. I’m sure you’re going to tell me you
love her.” I roll my eyes and hand him the card of the storage company.

“I do love her,” he
says, lowering his voice.

“That’s rich coming
from you. We’re done. Get out.” He walks away without saying another word. As
the front door closes I collapse in the kitchen chair. I can’t do anything but
cry.

I’m pretty sure I spend
a good hour crying in my kitchen. I didn’t keep track, but it was far too long.
I pull myself together and vow to be done crying over Tyler. I let go because
my only release is to let go of something that is more out of control than me. I
pick up the phone and call Bob.

“Hey there, baby,” Bob
answers. “I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Do you want me to come by?”

“Yes. I really need
some support right now, so get here fast.”

“Have I ever let you
down?”

“No.”

“I’m like a Toyota. Get
it?”

“You’re like a douche
bag. Just get over here,” I say laughing.

“See, I can make you
laugh even when your life is in the shitter. You need me and I’ll be there,
darling. See you soon.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too, baby
girl.”

I can’t help but smile
after hanging up with Bob. He really tries his best to make me happy and most
of the time he succeeds. I quick call Melinda knowing she will want in on the
shit show that has become my life.

“What up, Tyson?” she
says answering quickly. “Got a good look at Trini’s face when she stopped by
the office earlier. You kick ass. I had no idea you had it in you. I’m so proud
of you.”

“Thanks. Why was Trini
in the office?” My first though is that she came to find me, but after what I
did to her face I am sure she would rather meet an angry wolverine in a dark
alley.

“She came in looking
for a new publicist and Ellie canned her ass. It was awesome. I wish you were
there. Ellie then released a statement to the press about how deeply saddened
she was to have to part ways with Trini. She was totally professional, but
behind closed doors she let Trini have it. Trini was all crying, puffy-eyed
taking her sorry ass into the elevator. It was classic.”

“Glad I could be a
great source of amusement today. So, you coming by?”

“I wish I could, but,”
she pauses and her voice lights up, “I have a date.”