A Life Plan Without You. (74 page)

“No Mother does that to her children without good cause and
well he alienated you from your family, you must have felt so
alone. He thought I wouldn’t fight for you, perhaps he was too
drunk to understand the threats I made last time, so he came and
used Jimmy to get you to go back. He knew that and that’s the only
thing he had to use today and he did, but you and Sam can go and
see a solicitor in the morning and sort everything out, do the
things that I have told him you’ve already done okay?

The past is just that the past, your lives start over tonight.
Your sons are all safe, all three. Andy and Sam are messed up, but
I’ll get them better I promise. I will make him wish he was never
born, for what you have just said. He will be sorry, so sorry.” I
had her in tears as she hugged me again.

“Happy tears Michelle, happy tears. You were found to save us
my darling girl, my beautiful angel.” Andy joined us with the rest
of the pots.

“You got any issues Andy? This session’s free next one costs
you loads.” He said he hadn’t, but I knew he was lying, but he had
got good at hiding his pain, a pain too deep for me to handle or
comprehend, and we eldest children always seem to suffer most and
protect our younger siblings often taking the crap so they don’t. I
changed the mood, Andy was troubled enough without me prying. The
offer was there to talk, one day he may want to?

“You’re coming too, aren’t you? I just presumed you and Zoë
would be coming.” He smiled.

“Has to be said didn’t think this dancing lark would do
anything but it’s nice. I can see why you and Sam do it it’s so
nice being close to someone like that. I am going to get my head
down, work in the morning. Night you lot.” Sam had been listening
again he’d walked his mum to bed. He went in to settle her down,
and I presume they talked for a while. I think I’ll go into social
work, sod the cooking… Stupid thing Michelle, as if you’d do that
ever? I went to say goodnight to the others, and went to the
bedroom. Sam came in and joined me on the bed. He lay at my side
and breathed a deep sigh of relief.

“Baby girl when did you get so wise and knowing in all this
stuff, which I’ve got you messed up in? Mum must have been living
in her own personal hell for years. Michelle Welles, I love you so
much. She would never have told anyone else nor would she ever have
left him, not if you hadn’t asked her to. She thanks the day I
brought you home. I wonder where we would be if you hadn’t come
back with me?”

“I don’t know that I am wise Sam. Gramps is a wonderful person
to talk to, and he has idioms for everything, a whole plethora, of
little quotes and sayings to help me through things. The legal
stuff I learnt from Mum and Dad’s split, that was messy, and I
remembered what Mum had done. I’m all right for those sorts of
chats, but you’re going to need someone to help you all get through
all this Sam its way above my head, way, way above Michelle chats.
You should be able to face your demon that you call your father,
you’ve just got to remember you’re bigger and stronger than him and
believe it and that you can do it and remember I love you and I’m
not leaving you. You shouldn’t need reassurances from me you should
be able to trust me Sam?”

“I wish I believed I could, can even. Your right about the
reassurances though, I never want to feel like that again. You
Michelle are far from a being a problem, and as for my trust? You
have that. I do trust you Michelle, you’re the only person I truly
trust, the only person I love or have ever loved. I thank God every
day that you’re in my life, and I can’t wait to be in here
tomorrow.”

His hand was under my skirt as his finger, moved towards my
sex, it pulsed like a beacon, and the heat radiating from it drew
him in. Arghhhh, he worked me slowly to a silent frenzy this felt
different, much more intimate, we had done this many times and in
lots of places, in fact every time I had a skirt on his hands went
a wandering.

His kisses were as ever gentle and as the other finger joined
its mate, working me stretching me, and making me come and as he
did, he looked down at me kissing me deeply, his tongues slipping
in and out of my mouth.

“You are so ready for me baby if we were on our own, you would
be mine Michelle, just mine. I can feel you, you’re so close Mi
cielo, you’re coming again, do it baby come for me, I love watching
you collapse your fun to watch as you come baby, that’s it Missy
let go…” As I surrendered to him for the second time in as many
minutes, he kissed me an as he does, a tear comes down his
face.

“We needed to find each other Mi cielo and now I have you, I
never want to ever lose you, I want to grow old with you and fill a
house full of kids with you.”

“Umm right back at you Sam. You and your soldier are going to
need a rest, you’re going to be on an all-night recon Saturday, and
he will need it. I can’t wait get your arse next to me. I need to
feel you against me as we sleep. You aren’t ever going to lose me
ever, now shush I’m coming down off a really nice high thank you.”
I smiled and watched him as he got undressed, what a body and he
was such a tease with it. I stripped off to my undies and got in
the bed.

I wasn’t sure how this was going to end, but he wouldn’t be
hurt anymore or anytime soon by his father. Sam climbed in and just
held me. I was so tired, but my brain was going two hundred miles
an hour, he bless had fallen asleep. He had me tucked under his
chin and held me close. I was up most of the night, waiting for the
night terrors, but thank fully they didn’t put an appearance in. I
must have fallen asleep at some point though, Jimmy was calling my
name.

“Michelle we have to be off in about half an hour, are you
getting your bum out of bed.” Shit all I had been the clothes from
yesterday I got dressed and went down.

“Where’s Sam gone?” I was being ushered to the car. Jimmy
chucked some toast at me.

“We are going to be late he and Mum are doing the things you
suggested.” We arrived at college.

“Thanks Aunty Allison, I will see you later.” Jimmy was
waiting for me. “I am so bloody tired I was up all night.” He
blushed. “No not doing that, you cheeky sod he’d had horrid
nightmares the night before and so was waiting for the encore last
night.” He laughed.

“I didn’t think you meant anything else.” I smiled.

“As long as it’s not common knowledge by dinnertime you’re
safe from Rocky. Good luck, see you later.” He gave my cheek a
kiss, quite sweet. I went straight to the art room.

I had three hours to put my thoughts into the piece of art
before me. Miniature picture frames put together and made with
various pieces of wood and steel, whatever was in the art supply
tubs. I tied string to the frames and placed a picture frame at the
end. I used wire to tie them as though being spewed from the
pinkish brain, I had thrown together made from pillow filling and
covered in pink and cream tissue paper, weird sausage shapes made
it look realistic and now it had dried it looked very brain like.
Placing one end of the wired string in the brain, allowing me to
position the frames coming out of the brain, thus creating the
boundaries of the mind, I had fifteen picture frames I wrote words
of inspiration and my thoughts and feelings.

I stood back it looked a little abstract in design. Mr Wisdom
looked at it and smiled. Miss Shearer went a little nutty as she
clapped as she saw what I had done.

“Have you finished Michelle?” I took a last look, my candidate
number added and yep all done and dusted. I ambled towards home.
Sam was waiting at the gate for me. I ran into his waiting arms for
the nicest of kisses.

“I was nearly late this morning Jimmy woke me with minutes to
spare. I’m starving and I stink and I missed you this morning.” I
looked at him grinning.

“You were spot on with the advice to Mum by the way. All
paperwork is now being, filed and legal separation from Dad,
divorce was too much for Mum. We also went into the council, he
isn’t on the rent book as you said its Mum’s house, he was it
seemed too pissed to sign, and so they are sending the letters
today. You’re coming to celebrate with me, so let’s get you home to
change. How did the art piece go?” I beamed.

“Brilliant, 'Boundaries of the Mind' is an abstract view, into
the different things involved in life, love, and our
existence.”

“Did the tutors like it?” I smiled.

“Both of them loved it, though thinking about it, it had a
little bit of a ‘Contemporary Realism,’ theme going on with it One
even asked me the story behind my inspiration. I don’t think she
knew what to make of first loves, because my piece had hate,
confusion, needs and other things other than just the mushy stuff
of love?” Jimmy came running towards us.

“I waited for you, to see how it went?” Sam smiled and Jimmy
listened, fearing he would have to go to his dad.

“Mum has signed papers and as your over eighteen, you’re
legally an adult and free to choose with whom you live. Stop
worrying now please, should anything happen to her I’m your
conservator, I have agreed to pay your bills and stuff until you
get the money, or a job are you coming with us for something to
eat?”

“No thanks, but have you got some money, I want to go with the
lads please, legal guardian?” He handed him some and off he
disappeared.

“He’s totally different these days he’s stopped being moody,
and he actually talks, instead of the grunting he normally comes
back at you with.” Smug smile I knew it was his dads doing, a few
minutes later and we were at mine.

“Mum I’m home.” She was in the kitchen.

“Are you all right Sam, Michelle said you weren’t well?” He
looked at me and smiled.

“She looked after me thanks for asking. I got her back it was
me, being sick for her this time.” She smiled at him, as his arms
hugged me tighter.

“How’s life at your aunt’s?” I put the kettle on.

“It is a lot better with no hassles and we like it.” I went to
get dressed. I pulled out the blue dress, I hadn’t yet worn and the
new shoes to go with it, of course the underwear. I had a quick,
but much needed shower. Deodorant and hair done, dressed. Bag
grabbed and money lippy, mints and perfume in it, tissues, and my
new pack of pills, as I couldn’t find the one’s I had in my bag a
couple of days ago I’d had the morning one, but couldn’t find the
buggers luckily I had a packet in my locker at college and I took
the morning one the day Sam turned funny, I shiver at the memory. I
take the one I need to, and put them away locked in the zip part of
my purse, I must remember I need a new prescription, now I will be
doing it. I definitely don’t want to get pregnant, well not yet
anyway. I put a couple of new dresses, in the dress bag, including
the new white dress from Sam and the shoes and spare
underwear.

“Ready will this do Mum, Sam?” I got a very nice from mum and
a wow from him.

“Were are you off to today then?” I didn’t know this was a Sam
surprise.

“We are going to The Stockton Castle, with the rest of the mob
for a celebration dinner. Mum has sorted Dad out at long last and
we can finally get back to some sort of normal life.” She smiled at
him she knew what it was like living with a person who drinks too
much.

“See you later Mum.” She asked if I would be back. I shook my
head.

“No Mum, no college tomorrow.” We said goodbye and
left.

“We’re going out after class and we have Kelly’s party
Saturday I have the outfit for that already. Sorry the hotel had to
be put on hold.” He smiled

“Fate telling us something you think?” I frowned.

“Damn fate, it’s a pain in the bum she is definitely not in my
good books Sam!” We were in the Night Owl and dad was in drinking
and propping up the bar. I went up and spoke to him Sam bought the
drinks with one for dad.

“Cheers.” He smiled at me.

“What are you drinking young lady?” I gave him my coke and he
sipped it.

“Sam won’t let me drink Dad, so stop worrying.” I laughed, my
first legal drink with my dad, all be it coke. He never allowed me
to go into pubs, and as to drinking, he didn’t like me drinking he
needed me aware of things going on around me, I know why now but
back then I didn’t, he’s relaxed more with Sam by my side, and as
he likes Sam, it’s a double result for me, he’s allowing me to
finally grow up.

“Watch your back Sam your fathers just walked in.” I looked at
him held his hand tightly, he looked at me smiled kissed my neck
and whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck, umm.

“If you can do it, I can too. I love you Missy.” He came
over.

“Sam you have something for me Son?” I held his hand tight and
kept quiet.

“Why would I have anything for you Dennis? I told you, you’re
not getting a penny more and for the record as of today I do not
have a Father, you are dead to me, Andy and Jimmy are also of the
same mind, so just go away.”

“You little bastard, who the fuck do you think you’re talking
to? I’m your father respect is what’s called for, pay your fucking
board, you’re not living off me for free.” Sam laughed, which
shocked his father, mine too.