A Life Without Fear (Life #2) (17 page)

“Of course I will, Angelica.” He grabs his keys off the counter. “Let’s get you home.”

We walk hand-in-hand to the elevator. Once in the parking garage we walk to one of his two-seater sports cars.

“This car is very manly.”

“Why, thank you,” he says as he opens the door for me.

Once we are on the road, I play with his radio stations a little until I find a country song playing. Blake Shelton’s
‘God Gave Me You’
is on. I find it funny how every song I listen to I can relate it to my life. In this case, I relate it to Blake, per usual. Not the singer but the man sitting right next to me. Talk about ups and downs, this man has seen so much of my downs it’s depressing. My life was going so smoothly for so long, then one thing after another and boom here we are now. I am grateful for this man sitting next to me, he’ll never know how much he has mentally and emotionally helped me get through everything. When we turn onto my street, a girl crosses the road in front of us with her dog in tow. Sweet Jesus can this day please stop being so emotional. I haven’t thought about Rodger in a while and now I’m reminded that I’m about to be dropped off at a very empty house.
I miss my dog.

“Don’t be sad, Angelica. Be glad of the years that you had with Rodger,” Blake says from his seat.

“How did you know I was thinking about him?” I ask curiously.

“You saw that girl and looked like you were about to cry,” he states.

“I’m just lonely in my big empty house. I know he was only a dog, but he helped to keep me company.”

“I understand that.”

He pulls his car in front of my house and kills the engine.

“You don’t have to walk me, I’ll be fine. Thank you for the great day, Blake. It was the perfect distraction.”

“Any time baby.”

I give him one last kiss on the lips then make my way to my brownstone. Once inside I drop all my stuff on the hall table then head upstairs to change into pajamas spending the rest of the day in my library responding to emails. I love having five days off, but I get anxiety about the work that could’ve been done, so I want to do as much as possible before Wednesday. My phone vibrates next to me and I see it’s a text.

Blake:
Goodnight baby, have a good night. xoxo

Goodnight? I look at the clock and its 11:00 p.m.
Shit, how did that happen?
Finishing up an email, I send it off then shut down my computer and start heading up the stairs.

Me:
Goodnight Sugar Plum (still my favorite). Dream of me. xoxo

I laugh to myself and toss my phone on my bed making my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. When I hop in bed there’s a text waiting.

Blake:
You’re my dream come true Angelica. I don’t need to dream about you when I have the real thing. xoxo

Me:
Ugh Blake, you’re so fucking sweet, I could just eat you up.

Blake:
I’d prefer to be the one doing the eating…

Me:
You sick fucker, go to bed! Night Blake!

Blake:
Good Night, Angelica.

I know I’ll be having sweet dreams of Blake and the wonderful man that he is.

Tuesday morning comes with a light sprinkling of snow. It’s very rare that we get snow in November. It will melt away within the hour, but it’s very pretty to watch. Changing quickly into running clothes, I put my hair up in a tight bun then pull on a beanie. Locking my door, and putting on my headphones, I hit the pavement hard. I have all this energy coursing through my body this morning, I want to get good use out of it and have a good run. The sidewalks are a little busier than usual; perhaps people are coming out to take in the light snowfall. An hour later I’m back home and in the shower. I decide on a
crème
colored pencil skirt with a white top and long dark brown trench coat. A matching pair of
crème
colored
Louis Vuitton’s
round out the outfit. Heading out of the front door I spot Adam waiting outside.

“Good morning Adam,” I call as I near him.

“Good morning, Angelica,” he answers. Once I’m seated, he closes my door and hurries to the driver’s seat. “Any stops before work this morning?” he asks.

“Just
Starbucks
by the office, please.”

“Of course.”

During the drive to work, I stare in awe at the city around me. It never gets old, watching the people hustle through the streets, the vendors setting up shop. The snow is already starting to melt from this morning. We arrive a short time later. Adam pulls the car to the curb in front of
Starbucks
.

“No need to get out, Adam, I’ve got my door. Thanks for the ride.” I hop out of the car and close the door before he can get a word in. The line this morning is particularly long; the winter will do that to coffee shops. I patiently wait in line and check some emails while I wait. I’ve had my head down the whole time reading an email from Bill, that I didn’t realize I was up to the counter until the barista clears her throat.

“Oops.” I laugh looking up at a girl I’ve never met before. “Sorry.”

“Yeah,” she responds harshly. Geez, someone is in a bitchy mood. “What can I get you?”

“Venti skinny vanilla latte with an added shot please.”

“Five-fifty-five,” she says flatly.

I hand her my
Starbucks
gold card, she swipes it then hands in back to me. My drink is ready a short time later, grabbing it I hurriedly make my way across the street and inside the building.

“Hey Charlie,” I call excitedly while entering, heading straight for the elevators.

“Good morning Angelica, have a great day up there,” he calls back.

“I’ll try,” I reply with a smile.

The office is busy this morning and the low hum of people working is exciting. It means there’s a lot going on. I love it when we have a lot of work. Bill deserves it with the amount of effort he puts into everything that he does. Walking into my office, I place my stuff away then get to work immediately. I’m lost in research for a new company when my phone rings.

“Hello?” I answer without looking at the caller ID.

“Hey A.P. meet me for lunch today?” Joey asks solemnly.

“Of course, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I’ll see you soon. Love you.” With that, the line goes dead.

Odd, something’s definitely up with him. I’ll be dissecting him in a few hours.

The morning goes by fast, I’ve researched the company enough to write a brief report and have responded to various emails. I’ve met with Alan to go over a current project and I’m feeling great. Yesterday was just another bump in the road of my life lately. But like everything else it’s in the past. My work helps me to focus on what’s important, it makes me happy. At noon, I’m walking out of the building heading over to the restaurant Joey texted me to meet him at. I walk into the small Bistro only a few blocks from my work and spot him right as I enter, sitting at a table smack in the middle of the little restaurant.

“Hey.”

“Hey, baby girl,” he responds.

“Okay Joey, enough, spill it. What the hell is wrong with you? You sound like shit,” I state bluntly.

“Jesus Ang, tell me how you really feel why don’t you,” he remarks sarcastically.

The waiter comes over to us with iced water then walks away.

“I’m waiting.” I stare at him, willing him to tell me what’s bothering him.

“What if I fuck it up with him? What if I ruin everything again? God knows I’m a pro at fucking shit up. I don’t deserve such a good, down to earth man. I should just cut ties right now? Maybe it won’t sting as bad.”

I’m taken aback by his admission. I knew that he had feelings for Liam, only I didn’t know they ran so deep.

“Is this really what has you in knots? You doubting if you're worthy of a good man? Are you shitting me right now, Joey?”

The waiter comes back with bread and some oil. Joey orders for us both then the waiter retreats.

“Joey you’re going to ruin this if you maintain this attitude. So what you fucked up once, that doesn’t mean you’re destined to do it again. If he’s willing to forgive what you did, then you need to embrace that. Why go through all the emotions of trying to get him back then just drop him?” My voice is a little harsher than I intended it to be and he won’t meet my eyes. “Joey, where did my cool, confident, cocky best friend go?” I ask earnestly.

“I don’t know, Ang. I’ve never felt this way, it’s tripping me out.”

“Do you want to be in a relationship with him?”

“Yeah, too much.”

“Well then, give it a chance Joey. See what happens. I’m not saying it’ll be a fairy tale and you will live happily ever after, but you at least have to try. Otherwise, you’ll always wonder what if.”

“I know, you’re right.”

“I always am. Promise you will at least try, JoJo?”

“I promise, Ang.”

We pinky swear over the table, locking in the promise. Something silly we’ve always done when making a promise—it’s more official that way. We chat some about his work. He has the week off but leaves for L.A. first thing Monday morning. Our food arrives, a large salad we split and a savory crepe.

“All right, enough about me. What’s going on with you? I feel like we haven’t talked in forever. Fill me in on everything.” He rests his elbows on the table, eagerly awaiting my response.

“I actually do have rather big news that I didn’t get a chance to tell you yesterday.” He raises an eyebrow. “Edward was sentenced yesterday, Joey. He will die in a federal prison, I’ll never have to worry about him coming after me again.” I feel the emotion in my throat and one single tear escapes my eye and runs down my cheek.

“Oh baby girl, I’m so fucking happy to hear that.” He rises from the table and embraces me in a big hug. “Why didn’t you call me yesterday? I would’ve spent the day with you, Ang.” He returns to his seat.

“I know you would’ve Joey. It all happened so fast. I was on my way to work when Granddad called me and told me the news. After I hung up with him, I just broke down in sobs. Adam, Blake’s driver, was giving me a ride to work at the time. He took me to Blake without me knowing and Blake convinced me to take the day off of work.”

“Good,” Joey interrupts.

“After I was home and felt a little better, I decided to take advantage of my day off and get all of my Thanksgiving shopping done.” I smile thinking about the day spent with Blake.

“What aren’t you telling me?” he asks knowing.

“He told me he loved me, Joey. It shocked me to my core, but more than that I shocked myself when I said it back.” Joey sits in stunned silence. “Say something,” I beg.

“Wow, I’m stunned A.P. I’m happy for you, truly I am. I’m just shocked. The first thing that comes to mind is Nick that man practically gave you his heart on a platter and you kicked him out like a bad habit. You were seeing him for much longer than you’ve seen Blake. What’s the difference?” he asks earnestly.

“Honestly? I don’t know. It’s this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’ve never felt before, this fluttering in my heart that’s never happened either. It just feels right when we’re together. I love being with him. I’m so used to fucking someone then leaving as quickly as I came, but with Blake I never want to leave.” Joey stares at me with wide eyes. “I know, I know, who would have thought?”

“Wow, both of us girls head over heels for men, who’d a thunk?” We both fall into a fit of laughter.

“Oh JoJo, I love you.”

“I love you too, doll.”

“I’ve gotta be heading back to the office. Thanks for this, we needed it.”

“Yes we did,” he responds leaving some twenties on the table and we head out.

“So Thursday I’ll probably be at Blake’s all day cooking, feel free to come by whenever you want. Dinner will be ready at six, I hope.”

“We’ll be there at two.”

“Perfect. You know I’ll put your ass to work, right?”

“We will be there at six,” he quips. I jab him in the ribs.

“You fucker, I better see you at two!”

“You will, relax.”

We hug our goodbyes then split a block away from my office building. Once back at work, I hit it hard and get through two meetings and countless emails. The day has just flown by. I receive a text around the time I’m wrapping my day up from Blake.

Blake:
Good evening beautiful. How was your day?

Me:
Hello handsome. It was good, very busy. How about yours?

Blake:
Oh, I can’t complain. Would you care to have a glass of wine with me tonight?

I can’t contain my smile as I head to the elevator. Merely talking to Blake via text message makes me happy.

Me:
I suppose that would be fine. ;)

Walking out of the elevator I head to the glass doors that lead outside when I see Blake standing next to his car. Dressed in an impeccable light gray suit, long black coat, and leather gloves he looks absolutely gorgeous.

“Now, had I of said no, you do realize how silly you would’ve felt at this moment, right?” I tease.

“I was willing to take the risk. At the very least I would’ve been able to see your beautiful face.”

“Awe, look at you being so cheesy.”

“Is cheesy good?” he asks, hopeful.

“Always.”

He pulls me into his arms and we kiss lightly before getting into the waiting car. We drive a few blocks to a very trendy wine bar. We walk in and are seated immediately. Blake orders a bottle of
Côtes de Provence
. A tray of meat and cheese comes to our table a short time later.

“Do you have everything that you need for Thanksgiving dinner? Are you sure there’s nothing else I need to do?” he asks.

“Blake, are you kidding me? You’ve opened up your house to us and you bought everything! How could you possibly do anything else?”

“I’m only making sure,” he replies bashfully.

“Just relax and let me take it from here, okay?”

“Yes
ma’am,
” he replies with a wink.

We fall into easy conversation about our day. He informs me tomorrow he has back-to-back meetings all day, but then he has the rest of the week off. I’m excited at the thought of spending the whole weekend with him. Joey is right, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Me, Miss I-Don’t-Do-Relationships enjoys every second that I’m with Blake. It’s a novelty, but it also scares me how deep my feelings are for him. I feel like back in high school I’d watch people fall
in love
left and right only to see it fizzle out a few months later. Is this like high school? I’m just jumping head first and it will be donezo in a few months? Since I’m older does that make this more stable? Jesus, why are emotions so complicated?

“Angelica?” Blake asks cautiously.

“Yeah?” I ask.

“I lost you there for a minute, you okay?” He looks at me curiously. I hadn’t realized I was just staring at him oddly.

“Sorry, just lost in my thoughts. I’m okay.” I smile reassuringly.

“If you say so, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah.”