A Little Crushed (25 page)

“I’m glad you find this amusing.” Kate burst into tears.

Leaning over, he pulled her into his arms, and surprisingly, she let him. This spoke volumes. Kate was running scared. “Nothing happened, Kate.” He stroked her hair. “I swear.”

“How can I believe you?” Pulling away, she dragged a hanky from her pocket. “I sensed it, you know.” She blew her nose. “I knew you were pulling away from me. Is this why you were so reluctant to leave that stupid job? Such ‘dedication.’ Still, I don’t blame you.” Tears vanishing as quickly as they’d spilled, she gave him a shrewd smile. “It’s my fault, actually. I left you on your own too much. I, more than anyone, know what a passionate, sexy man you are. It was inevitable you’d find relief elsewhere. That girl, well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? She took advantage of you when you were lonely and vulnerable.”

Max was dumfounded. If it hadn’t been so pathetic, it would have been funny. Painting Rebecca as some manipulating Lolita was just too ludicrous for words.

“Kate,” leaning forward, he placed his hands on her shoulders and forced her to look him straight in the eye, “listen to me because I am not going to say this again. Nothing of a sexual nature happened with this girl. God—she was only eighteen. We were friends. She’s been through some hellish times, and I was there for her. She has nothing to do with you and me.”

“Why do I have trouble believing you, Max?” She pulled away from his hold and getting to her feet, crossed to the terrace wall. “You’ll have to excuse me if I sound a tad irrational or needy.” Her caustic, angst-filled laugh hit him full on. “Jealousy isn’t a familiar emotion for me. I’ve never doubted you before. You never gave me reason to. You know me. I’m an arrogant bitch.” Tightening her robe, she turned to face him. “Maybe this is my punishment for taking you for granted. I have to admit, though, I never thought you would cheat on me with a young, fresh teenager. It’s a bitter pill to swallow and somewhat humiliating.”

Max was all out of argument because in a way, she was right. He had betrayed her in the worst possible way. With Rebecca, he had shared his heart, soul, and mind.

“Nothing happened.” He made a last feeble attempt for absolution.

“Did you want something to happen?”

Max stared into her stricken violet eyes and tried to speak. Fingers of honesty gripped his throat and squeezed.

“And there lies my answer. Oh Max…” Kate began to cry again. “Damn you and your integrity. You could have at least lied.”

Max could do nothing to ease her hurt except hold her. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

“There is nothing to say. You’re not the first man to stray, and please, don’t insult me anymore by saying you didn’t. In your heart you did, and for me, that’s worse.” Lifting her head, she reached out and touched his lips. “But you belong to me, Max. You love
me
. I have been a fool.”

He had to hand it to her; as far as tenacity went, she was on a par with Sarah Palin.

“Let’s get married.”

And ten out of ten for a pre-emptive strike. Max wished he could climb back into bed, pull the sheet over his head, and pretend today hadn’t begun. Like Kate would allow him that option.

“I don’t know why you’re so surprised.” She looked up, irked by his reticence. “We have been engaged for nearly three years now. We’re becoming a joke.”

“As I recall,” he began guardedly, “it was your decision to wait. You wanted—and I quote—to explore the undiscovered wonders of the world.”

“Granted, I haven’t always been fair to you, but I’ve decided you are the only wonder of the world I want.” She gave him her flirtatious smile that used to set his pulse on fire. “I’m nearly thirty, darling. It’s time we settled down.”

“Does that mean you’re thinking about children?”

The subject of babies had always been an unresolved issue between them. He, an only, and consequently, lonely child, wanted at least three. Kate was less enthusiastic.

“It’s something we can talk about.” She neatly sidestepped the issue. “For now, we need to focus on us and get our relationship back on track.”

Max wasn’t stupid; he knew the sudden desire to hear wedding bells was born out of her new insecurity. He also realized his reluctance to answer was a result of unresolved feelings for Rebecca. “Kate, this is not a good time. Look, I’m not saying I don’t want to marry you, but a lot has happened…my father, the business—”

“Oh no.” Kate’s eyes blazed with anger. “Don’t you dare use your father’s heart attack as an excuse. It’s because of
her
.” He flinched as she spat out the words. “It’s that damn little bitch!”

“Please don’t call her that, Kate.” He sighed. “It’s demeaning for you and unfair on her. None of this is her fault.”

Her face drained of all colour. He’d never seen her so angry, and for one moment, he thought she would strike him.

“You’re a prize bastard, Max Jackson.”

“I’m trying to be honest. I owe you that much.”

“How noble of you.” She wiped away the tears from her cheeks. “I know what’s going on here, Max. You’re feeling guilty because you wanted to take advantage of that…that…” Her mouth twisted into an ugly line, her patrician face for once unattractive.

“Kate, don’t.”

“Don’t what? Tell it as it is? You don’t care about this girl. You think you abused her trust? Believe me, I doubt your innocent Rebecca was so naïve.”

“Stop this.” Max clung to his temper by the merest thread. “You don’t understand anything about her.”

“Oh really?” Kate curled her lip into a sneer. “
Only eighteen
? Give me a break. Girls of that age are at their most manipulative. And how do I know? Because I used to be eighteen, Max. I know the score now, and I certainly knew it then. You didn’t sleep with her? More fool you. You should have. At least with you, she would have got the fuck of a lifetime.” Hands shaking, she sat down and reached for a cigarette.

Her crudeness stunned him, as did her ludicrous interpretation of the whole sorry business.

“Kate,” he lowered himself beside her and took her hands, “this is all so ugly. Let’s stop it now.”

“Oh, how convenient that would be.” She gave a strangled sob.

It tore at his gut to see how much she hurt, but he couldn’t allow her to tear into Rebecca in this way. She didn’t deserve it. As much as Kate suffered, Rebecca was the real victim.

“You’re right,” he conceded. “You can’t begin to know how guilty I feel. Even if all you said were true—which believe me, it isn’t—it doesn’t change the fact I abused her trust. I was her teacher, for God’s sake!”

“Oh, Max,” She gave him an angry shove before standing. “You were not a teacher. You were just sulking because Daddy wouldn’t give you his new newspaper to play with. Max Jackson is a spoilt little rich boy, with a chip on his shoulder, sailing through life doing exactly what he wants.”

Max felt the blood drain from his face, and for the first time he believed love could be so close to hate because at that moment, he hated Kate with a passion. Every unspoken doubt he had about himself, she’d callously put into words, leaving his soul raw and bleeding. “If you think so little of me, then perhaps it’s best we part.”

Kate drew in her breath, alarm bleaching her face bone white. Despite the tense drama unfolding on their terrace, Max wanted to laugh. Kate was so transparent. She knew she’d gone too far.

“Oh, Max, I’ m sorry.” She put her arms around him, breaking out with a fresh bout of weeping. “I didn’t mean… It’s just I love you so much. I don’t want to lose you.”

Way to go on the excellent recovery. Kate ought to consider a career in politics, he thought. Before he could fashion a suitably scathing comeback, the doorbell chimed, piercing the fraught atmosphere. “Saved by the bell?” As he walked into the apartment, he attacked her with a sardonic sneer. She had the grace to flush.

“Hello, Max.”

Peggy, his father’s longest-serving employee and the nearest thing to a normal mother Max knew, stood up on the toes of her sensible black court shoes and kissed his cheek.

“You’re looking well.” She frowned as she stroked his stubble. “A bit Anglo-Saxon white, but it’s only to be expected. Don’t know how anyone lives on that God-forsaken island. I am so glad my ancestors were convicts. Oh…”

Looking past his shoulder, she caught sight of Kate. Max knew she’d picked up on the tear ravaged face.

“Have I come at a bad time?” She turned her attention back to Max. “I thought it best I brief you before we get to the office. Sorry, Kate.” Peggy flashed Kate an insincere smile. She thought about as much of his fiancée as his mother did.

“No problem,” Kate said dully. “I have to be at the museum at nine anyway. I’ll leave you two to talk.” Without another word, she disappeared into the bedroom.

Peggy raised an eyebrow. “I am sensing all is not well in Kate’s fantasy world.”

“Leave it, Peg. Coffee?” He beckoned her to follow him back onto the terrace.

“This is a goddamn, awful mess.” Peggy took a cup from him, and they sat. “But that’s your father to a T. Always screwing around with people’s lives. I told him he couldn’t go on living the way he did. Old fool that he is. His doctors warned him so many times, but pig-headed, he ignored their advice. I don’t know why he bothered going to see them, actually. All he ever did was complain about the outrageous bills they sent him.”

Her disparaging tone didn’t fool him. He knew Peggy was genuinely fond of his old man. “Okay, my new personal assistant,” he leaned back and folded his arms behind his head, “what’s first on the agenda?”

Putting on the pince-nez glasses dangling from a gold chain around her neck, she pulled out a worn notepad from the oversized leather handbag he’d never known her without.

“So, press conference at eleven. I’m sorry, Max, but we have to go public with this. There is bound to be panic and a possible run on the Market. The sooner the shareholders see you have everything under control, the better.”

Max laughed. “Oh yes, I really look as if I’m in control.”

“I’ll be there to guide you,” Peggy assured him. “You will be fine. And then…” She studied her notes. “The lawyers want to see you at one p.m., and at two, I have called a board meeting.”

“God.” He rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “Okay, Peg. I get the gist of it.”

“As hard and insensitive as it may seem, Max,” she placed a hand on his knee, “business matters must be attended to. You, effectively, will take over this company in the event of… People will want to talk to you. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to deal with a lot of changes in your life.”

“I’m well aware of that, Peggy. The question I am asking myself is—”

“Do you still want this?”

Same old Peg, always able to read his inner thoughts.

“This is your chance, you know,” she spoke quietly, but her tone was firm, sensible as always, “to change the face of Jackson Media. To turn it back into what it once was, a company with integrity, a return to true, professional journalism. You still do want that, don’t you?”

His stomach lurched as the doubt that always lingered beneath the surface threatened to break through his fragile façade of confidence. Suddenly he was all out of answers. An image of Rebecca’s delicate face danced before his eyes. “I don’t know. I thought I did, but now, well, it doesn’t seem that important to me because—”

“Well, you think long and hard.” She interrupted him. “I can read you, Max, as clear as I could read your father. I see doubt, and I know who put it there. Your father is a cruel man, at times. You are not your father, so don’t try to be him. You can be better. But if you choose another path in life, then that’s okay, too.”

“What are you saying, Peggy?”

“I think I’m saying you can walk away. There are alternatives.”

“You mean sell?” Max stared at her in disbelief. “But you love this business. It’s your whole life.”

“And you are not me. I am an old spinster. I have nothing but the company. You, well, I think you found so much more, didn’t you?”

Max felt her too-knowledgeable eyes study him. Of course, Peggy had been privy to many a homesick call from England. She was the one person with whom he’d discussed Rebecca.

“Max?”

He turned to find Kate dressed in elegant cream linen trousers and shirt. Kate was never anything but immaculate.

“I thought we might go out to lunch,” she suggested, as cool as a cucumber, as if their earlier fracas had never taken place. Focusing on Peggy, she put in the pearl studs he’d given her on the eve of their engagement party. “He will have time for lunch, won’t he? What am I saying? He’s the boss. Of course he will.”

“Robert isn’t quite dead yet.” Peggy’s tone was as dry as the Kalahari Desert. Ignoring her, Kate turned and walked to the French windows. “Call me, Max, when you’re done.”

“Well,” Peggy drew in her breath, “no guesses as to what Kate wants you to do. So, Max. Tell me about this Rebecca. Do you want to go back to her?”

Typical Peggy—she pulled no punches. Hand shaking, Max leaned in and poured out more coffee. “What I want is not the issue. She, Rebecca, she has been through so much. How can I involve her in my world?”

“You can’t.” Peggy covered his hand with his. “She’s young, Max. Let her be. This business…it has a way of consuming people and all whom they love. If you do really care for her, then let it go, at least for now.”

Why was it that words of wisdom always hurt most? “I know you’re right,” he murmured, more to himself than to her. “I made my decision. I will never see her again.”

From behind the half-open kitchen door, Rebecca watched her father fold and refold his newspaper. She’d spent so many months trying to protect him from pain, and it killed her she was about to cause him more, but her mind was made up. She stared at the screwed up computer printout in her hand. How odd. She’d been preparing for this day for two long years. At one time, it had been all she thought about but now… Taking a deep breath, she geared up for battle and pushed open the door.

“Hello, dear.” Her mother pressed a small glass of champagne in her hand.