A Long Goodbye (17 page)

“Fuck, Grace!” He yelled out as I felt the warmth of him as he came inside of me. He kissed me quickly on the lips, both of us panting. Woody laid his hand on my forehead, his thumb caressing my eyebrow. Neither one of us said a word for several minutes; we just panted and stared into each other’s eyes.

“You’re real special to me, baby,” he whispered so softly as he stared into my eyes.

“You’re special to me too,” I whispered back.

CHAPTER 30

DANE

Lying next to her it was hard to fight the feelings I had. I was having a difficult time breathing, knowing I was up and leaving her side soon. The words slipped out before I could take them back. I wanted her to know she meant something to me, but I also knew the look on her face as she said them back, was going to haunt me for the rest of life. Not telling her those three magical words of love was going to be either the biggest mistake of my life, or the smartest.

I chalked it up to being caught up in the heat of the moment; her beautiful smile when she looked at me, and the way she touched me. I wanted her forever. I’d never had a relationship feel so real, one that felt so right from the moment it started. That realization kept me here, instead of what I should have been doing—running.

I never opened up to anyone about anything, but I was having a hard time holding back with her lying here in my arms, trusting me. “I lost my best friend fighting over in Afghanistan. That’s how I got all the scars.”

I felt her stiffen as she rested her head on my chest. She stayed quiet, so I kept going, wanting to give her a piece of me that was true and not riddled with lies. “He died in my arms, Grace. Even though he’s gone and I miss the hell out of him. When you’re in my arms like this, it takes some of that pain away.”

“What was he like?”

“Best guy ever. Hands down. AJ always had my back no matter what. It could’ve been him staying up all night quizzing me before a big exam back in ROTC, or something as simple as being my wingman when I was out looking for a girl, even though he was in a serious relationship the entire time I knew him.”

“What would he do when you found one?”

Absentmindedly, I continued to rub circles on her back. “He’d explain the score to the girl’s friend and walk away. That’s just something stupid we’d do, but man that guy could make me laugh, even if I was in the pissiest of moods. He would just do whatever I needed without thinking twice.”

I stopped for a full minute remembering him. “He had a wife and now has a beautiful baby girl named, Lauren. He never got a chance to meet her. God, she’s a beauty too. I can just picture him with her. She’d hate him because he was a protective sonuvabitch, but he’d love her like no one had ever loved his or her daughter.

“Where does she live?”

“West Virginia,” I answered, slipping on one of my own lies.

“So you get to see her?”

I pulled her up until her lips were an inch away from mine. “Not as much as I’d like, or should.” I took a deep breath. “AJ always believed in fate and destiny and all shit.”

“All that shit?”

“Yeah. I never did and still don’t. We’d be on a mission and he’d talk about Kara being home waiting on a letter, or an email. Then he’d look at me and tell me he felt sorry for me because I didn’t have a girl of my own waiting.”

“Did you want one?” She asked.

“Yes and no. No, because I didn’t want a woman that I loved wondering if I was coming home alive, or with Old Glory wrapped around a wooden box. Yes, because I could imagine having that special someone… so soft and beautiful, everything the war wasn’t. A woman waiting at the airport for me to come out of that terminal, jump up on me, and hold me tight. To remember the reasons why I was in the Army—to protect the people I loved.” I kissed her hoping that part of my life was enough for her to believe in me.

Ashton was fast asleep in my arms when I heard Lu come back to the room from her day of hiding out. I knew that was what she was doing and I couldn’t blame her. I understood she hated keeping this secret from Ashton, but it was for the best. In the end, Lu got that and agreed.

I got up early to get the coffee going and hopefully bump into Lu and address her disappearance. Quietly, I rapped on her door until she peeked her head out, rubbing her eyes in nothing but her underwear and a tank top. I looked away and stared out the big window in the main room. I cleared my throat, “Um listen, Lu, I know you had to do what you had to yesterday, but could you hang out with us today? Ashton missed you yesterday.”

“It’s too hard keeping this secret with you walking around reminding me. It’s best until you’re gone,” she raised her voice.

I shushed her. “I’ll make an excuse and hang back. Just go to the beach or something for a few hours.”

“Whatever,” she said and then slammed the door in my face.

I nearly jumped out my skin when I saw Ashton standing in the doorframe of our room. “What was that all about?” I could hear the accusation in her tone and I wasn’t sure what she heard, so I told another lie. “Mornin’ baby, I’m not feeling well.” I strolled over cautiously and kissed her cheek. “Was just seeing if Lu had any medicine on her. She was pissed I woke her up.”

“I got Advil,” she offered and scurried off toward the bathroom.

I popped the two pills in my mouth and took the glass of water from her hands. “Why don’t you do something with Lu today, I’m sure she’d love it.”

“What about my list?”

“You and Lu take a surfing lesson together. It’ll be fun.”

“Are you sure? I could order up some soup and we can watch old movies.”

“I just want to sleep it off and then we’ll do something later after this passes, okay?”

I got back in bed hoping she’d go throw on her bikini and head on out. Instead, Ashton climbed in bed and cuddled up next to me.

After an hour of pretending that I felt like shit, she finally relented and took off with LuLu for the beach. The whole time I held her, I was wishing that I’d never left Charleston back when I was eighteen. I wish I would’ve moved back home after one of my deployments and maybe had the opportunity to find her and make her mine years ago.

The next few hours while she was gone I made a call to her precious daddy, my two brothers to tell them I’d be home tomorrow, my mama, and even called AJ’s wife to check in on Lauren. Somewhere between those calls and watching Sports Center, I fell asleep on the couch.

Warm, soft lips on mine woke me up. Ashton was standing over me with a look of concern written all over face. “How ya feeling?”

I pulled her down until she was sprawled on top of me and held her tightly in my arms. “Better now.”

“I’m all oily from the suntan lotion, let me up.” She struggled until I gave in and let her get up. I only let go since I saw Lu watching us. Ashton’s eyes followed mine, and then she curled her finger prompting me to follow her to our room.

 I moved quickly when she started to untie her bikini top as she looked back at me over her shoulder mischievously. “I’m going to take a quick shower. I want you to get in bed and wait for me.”

A piece of me wanted to tell her screw that and follow her into the bathroom but the other part got excited to find out what she was up to, so I ripped off my clothes and jumped on top of the bed.

Fifteen minutes later, Ashton slithered out seductively in one of the robes the hotel provided with the belt tied tightly, not revealing anything underneath.

Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh my God!” She squealed and flopped on the bed.

I raised my eyebrows, confused. Her hands ran over my heart. “You got a honeysuckle flower to remember me by?”

I smiled. “Yeah, you like it?”

She shifted up to press her lips to mine, her warm hand drifting low, grabbing a hold of me and finding out I was ready. “I’m going to show you just how much, right now.”

I ran my hands under the robe, feeling silk underneath. Instantly, a smile spread across my face. “What do you got on under here?” I started to untie the belt, but she grabbed my hands and waved me off as she backed up.

She walked over to the dresser, propped her cell up against the vase, and turned it on. A slow song came on just as she turned back to look at me. Slowly, ever so slowly, she slipped her robe off her shoulders.

I gulped as I watched the perfect woman standing in a tight little fire engine red number standing before me. Ashton stood in the middle of the room slowly moving back and forth to the music. “Baby, if you don’t get over here, I’m gonna have a heart attack from the anticipation.”

She shook me off and held out her hand. “Come dance with me, Woody.”

I stood up in nothing but my birthday suit and danced what I knew was going to be my final dance of the trip. And the final time I was going to have Grace as mine.

It was time to end this. But not without having her in my bed one last time.

CHAPTER 31

ASHTON

Call it a premonition, or call it just a plain old girl’s-got- a-bad feeling, about the way Woody held me so tightly, like he was afraid of letting go last night. I knew something was wrong. I would have asked him, but fear held me back, unable to bear what he might have told me.

Even though he wrapped himself around me throughout the whole night, keeping me warm, I struggled falling asleep. I’d never felt more loved, or wanted when I was with Woody, but I had a sinking suspicion that all my feelings weren’t going to save us, or me when this trip was over. I prayed that Lu wasn’t right about men.

About Woody.

I must’ve drifted off at some point, because the sun was just rising when I reached out and felt for Woody, but the bed was empty. Fear and hurt sank in so quickly that he took off, until I heard the faucet running in the bathroom. I fell back onto the pillow trying to stop myself from hyperventilating. Afraid that he’d see me acting like a crazy old bat and take off for good.

When Woody appeared, he was already dressed and had those dark glasses on that he liked to wear. He started to creep by quietly, and then turned when he heard me scoot up on the bed. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Woody didn’t move. He just stood there at the end of the bed. And since he had on his glasses, I couldn’t see the expression in his eyes to get a good read on him.

“What’s going on?” I asked even though my heart knew what he was going to say.

He dropped his head down, like the floor was more appealing all of a sudden. “I got to head home, Grace. There was an emergency,” he said with zero feelings, just boom, as if the past two weeks didn’t affect him at all.

“Is it a bad emergency?”

He looked up, but took a few steps back when I dropped the sheet from covering my naked body. “Is there any other kind, Grace?”

“Were you just going to leave and not say good-bye?”

He looked over to the dresser. “I wrote you a note,” he paused. “Look, I gotta go. I’ll call you when I can.”

He turned to leave, but I couldn’t let him go. “Woody,” I yelled out.

He looked over his shoulder, but had his one hand on the knob ready to bolt. I held out my hand. “Come here,” I begged.

He shook his head. “Grace, I…” He stopped talking and rested his head against the door.

I stepped away from the bed and tiptoed until I was standing behind him. Cautiously I removed the strap of his bag from his shoulder and dropped it on the floor. I pulled on his arm until he turned to face me. “I think you owe me a proper good-bye.”

He pulled me to him. “I owe you so much more, I just don’t know if I can, Grace. It’ll be easier for both of us if you just let me walk out that door.” He buried his head on my shoulder, squeezing me tightly.

“I want you one more time before you leave. Can you do that for me?” I asked with trepidation in my voice.

I was ready to burst into tears if he said yes or no, and it made me feel weak, because all along I knew this day was coming. I was just hoping that we would’ve come out on the other side, as a happy couple.

Woody picked his head up and gave me what looked like a forced smile. I raised my hand to his face and pulled off his glasses. At first, he tried to stop me, but then he gave in. “Why do you have these on?”

When I looked into his eyes, I knew why before he answered. There was pain and hurt drifting behind those baby blues. Woody didn’t answer me with words; he picked me up and kissed me until his feet bumped the edge of the bed. “You are so beautiful, Grace.”

He placed me down, and then inched his way up my naked body so slowly that it was almost painful. I didn’t want him to leave, so I took my time undressing him. I think a few times he caught on to my plan because he’d shake his head and grace me with one of his little smiles and a soft chuckle.

 Woody rested his head on my stomach, his arms loosely around me as I held on to him after we made love. I knew I had only one chance to change his mind and I prayed it would be enough for him to either make him stay, or come meet me in Charleston. “Woody, I have something I want to tell you before you go. I…”

“Don’t, Grace,” he whispered as his fingers dug into my skin.

I did it anyway. “I love you.” I closed my eyes, bracing myself for him to say something, anything, but he didn’t. Not one word was spoken for a good five minutes after I admitted my true feelings.

Woody slipped off me and out of the bed, not once looking in my direction while he got dressed. I sat there and painfully admired the view, wondering how I could stop him.

Once he was done, he hovered over me. “You’re amazing. Don’t you forget that, okay? Be who you want to be, Darlin’.”

I nodded.

“I really got to get on the road, but I promise you, I’ll call you when I can.”

Tears filled my eyes. I could see the pain in his as he bent down and kissed me one last time. I almost grabbed him by his tee shirt and hauled him back into bed, but that was just delaying the inevitable.

“Don’t forget about me, Woody,” I said slowly and ran my finger down his scar one more time.

He didn’t move at all. He shut his eyes as I traced the side of his face as if he was burning the memory in his head.