A Love For Lera (Haikon) (25 page)

“Listen to me, Valera Grace, and listen well. You
have
not
let anyone down. I don’t want to hear that crap from you again.
Are we clear?”

He expected a snappish response. Something.
Anything. All he got was her licking her lips prior stepping back from his
touch before moving to lift up the bag with the cubs in it and going to the
door.

“Let’s go, Kori.”

‘Lera,’
he said, imploring her to look at
him.

She kept going, Adric falling in step beside her.
Apparently, her wolf knew where to go for she never asked. At the largest tent,
which actually consisted of four put together, she paused and glanced over her
shoulder at Kori. He could read the need in her gaze and hurried to her side.

‘I’m with you all the way, Lera.’

Her gaze assessed him, as if she wasn’t sure what
to believe anymore. He watched her compose herself and step through. Right
behind her, he noticed how the interior fell silent. Somehow, everyone seemed
to have packed in. A sea of faces stared back at them, plus their vaj.

He saw her share a glance with Torr, and he bit
back his immediate growl of anger. Vilfi approached and placed a kiss on either
side of her face. Turning to face the group, Vilfi began to talk. With a fluid
motion, Kori positioned himself near Lera who had been given a pile of furs to
sit on. He watched her instead of listening to Vilfi.

The cubs had been taken out of the bag and lay in
her lap, her fingers lightly stroking down each of their backs. The motion
repetitive and he knew soothing for them all. She didn’t keep her head down.
Her gaze, carefully composed, swept the room from time to time. He knew how
hard this was for her, and the fact she, again, refused to back down made him
so proud.

She licked her lips, and he gave himself a mental
shake before focusing on her, knowing she was about to talk.

“As you know, I’m Valera Sidorov. This is my
mate, Cormac MacLochlainne. This,” she pointed to the solid black wolf beside
her, “is my vaj, Adric.” She rolled her lower lip for a second and sighed. “I
really wish I knew what to say. I know what the prophecy says, and I know
people think I am the one to make the Haikon what they once were. Personally, I
don’t believe so. We are a strong people. Broken because of betrayal. But now,
here, we are gathered and united despite attempts to keep it from happening. I
hold out hope there are even more of our kind left. It will take time but I
have no doubt that the Haikon will be strong again.”

She looked at Kori and gave him a small smile
before returning her attention to the sea of spellbound gazes. “I know I have
the blood of old, as is apparent by my vaj. What the future holds is as much a
mystery to me as it is to you. But look around at the people beside you. They
are your brothers, your sisters, your
family.
If one is attacked, we are
all attacked.”

“Will you lead us?” someone from the back cried.

“No. I’m no leader. I see the leaders before me
who are needed. They are the ones who’ve been leading you, keeping you safe and
our ways alive. Trust in them. Only now, know that you aren’t the only ones.
There are other clans. Plus, I also offer the help of my father’s people,
should it be needed.”

“And mine,” Kori added.

Lera nodded. “And that of my mate. I don’t know
how far vaj can communicate but all you have to do is call or send message, and
we will not hesitate to come to your aid.”

“You’re leaving?” a female asked.

“Yes. But I’m not giving up. I hope to find more
Haikon where I go.”

“What about the prophecy?” someone else
questioned.

She stiffened, and Kori gently touched the small
of her back, grateful she relaxed slightly. “I would say it’s been fulfilled.”
He could see the tears shimmering in her eyes. “I think the most important
thing is that so many clans have been brought together. It is our unity which
makes us strong. And the knowledge of what happened in the past makes us wiser
and, therefore, harder to kill now. The Haikon are back and stronger than
ever!” One fist rose furious in the air.

A resounding cheer echoed her statement. He
leaned close and brushed a kiss along the outer shell of her ear. “You’re a
born leader, Lera.”

“I should get the cubs back to their mom.”

She gathered them close and got slowly to her
feet. He waited close, ready to help if she needed it but allowed her to try on
her own. The interior was loud and full of rambunctious calls, cries, and
laughter. He followed her out into the night. She, in turn, trailed after Adric
who stopped at a tent across camp.

Kori announced their presence and got a soft
response. They pushed in and lying on pile of furs was a largely pregnant
woman. At her feet, on another mound, lay a snow leopard with a few suckling
cubs.

“Forgive the intrusion but I thought they would
like to eat,” Lera said, her voice catching.

“No problem.” Light blue eyes paced her. “I’m
sorry I don’t get up.”

“No, no, please. There’s no need. I’ll just put
them down, and we’ll leave.” Lera moved slowly to the mother and, with a kiss
to each, put the babies down. They immediately rooted for a nipple and began to
feed. She stood and backed up. “Thank you,” she spoke to both cat and human.
Then, together, she and Kori walked out.

Silence lingered between them as they headed back
to their tent. He frowned over the fact she kept Adric between them. Progress
was slow for she got waylaid by numerous people wishing to talk. Eventually,
they made it, and he sighed in relief when it was just the three of them.

“Lera,” he began.

“I’m really tired.”

He knew she was; he could hear it in her voice.
Still, he circled her wrist with his fingers and drew her around to face him.
He could see past the shields she had erected to the pain she tried to hide.

“I know you are,
mo anam
.”

She jerked away. “Don’t call me that.”

Her words hadn’t faded from the air when he had
positioned himself all up in her space. It took a lot to keep his anger
contained. “Listen to me, Valera. The loss of
our
children does not
change how important you are to me. I know you’re hurting—so am I—but don’t
push me away. You will always be
mo anam.
You are my soul.
Anáil de
mo anam
, the breath of my soul, and you
always
will be.”

Big, fat tears pushed up and out from her eyes
simultaneously as a raw, gut-wrenching sob tore from her throat. If not for his
reflexes, she would have collapsed to the floor of the tent. He caught her and
lowered her carefully so they both were on the furs.

“How could I lose them? I didn’t even know.” Her
cries were like someone gouged him repeatedly with jagged edges, each one
hurting more than the last.

Arms wrapped tightly around her, he pressed his lips
to her forehead and rocked them slowly back and forth. “You didn’t lose them,
Lera. They were taken from you…from us.”

“But—”

“No, you don’t get to second-guess. This is a
horrible loss, for both of us.” He stared at the fire burning in the pit. “I
love you, Lera. Always have and I always will.”

She shuddered and cried some more. He held her in
silence, allowing her to cry as much as she needed to. Hell, he felt like
crying. To lose not one but two children before he even had a chance to know
them. How did one carry on from that? He held her until she cried herself out
and was asleep.

Laying her down, he covered her and made it to
the door before his name fell from her lips in her sleep. Banking the fire, he
slipped in behind her and held her close, allowing her familiar feel and scent
to help begin to heal his wounded heart.

He didn’t sleep hard that night, for Lera’s night
was crammed full of nightmares, and her cries woke him. Eventually, he just
stayed awake and murmured to her in Gaelic, stroking her hair and wishing he
could find a way to make it all better. Make all the pain go away. For both of
them.

“Kori?” Her whispered question shot him from semi
alert to fully alert.

“Yes, Lera?”

“Are you angry with me?”

He frowned. “Why would you possibly think I would
be angry with you?”

“Because I disobeyed you and followed you to the
fight. Had I not then—”

“Enough, Valera,” he barked. Rolling her so they
were face to face, he scowled down at her. “Stop. It is not your fault, okay?
It’s mine.”

He shook his head and jumped to his feet before
leaving her alone in the tent. The wind tore along his skin with brutal
efficiency, and he didn’t care. He deserved the pain; he deserved so much more
than mind-numbing cold. The loss of their children was his fault. He’d not been
strong enough to protect all of them.

Without thought, he shifted and ran, knowing Lera
would be protected with Adric and the rest of the Haikon around her. When he
stood alone in the forest, he lifted his head and howled. Allowed all his pain,
anger, and untold grief to pour forth. Each cry told the air how he hurt.

When his emotions were back under a firm hand, he
loped back to the camp, shifting on the outskirts and walking in. Many stared,
and a few spoke but for the most part stayed out of his way. He’d made a
beeline for the tent, only to pause outside it. Lera was no longer in there.

“She is with the cubs,” Torr said, halting beside
him.

“I thought she may be.” He bit back his automatic
dislike of the man who’d constantly tried to hit on Lera.

“When are you leaving?”

“As soon as she’s strong enough.”

“It seems unreal to have met her, and now, she’s
leaving. I understand, though. We’ve been Haikon forever, being raised with all
the stories and the fears; she’s grown up not knowing so she has another
family.”

Kori glanced down at the man who seemed so wise
for his years. “You’re family as well now. We didn’t lie about that.” It felt
like he had to force the words past his mouth.

“I know. And I hope she finds more Haikon
wherever you go.”

The man truly admired Lera, Kori could see that.
He stared at Torr for a moment and realized he wasn’t the enemy. Wasn’t a
threat.

“Thank you,” Kori said with all honesty.

“I know you and I didn’t exactly get along from
the beginning, Cormac MacLochlainne, but I truly hope you know I’m well aware
of where her heart lies. And I will do nothing to get in the way. I was
suspicious of her at first and did what I could to provoke you both.”

Ahead, he saw Torr’s snow leopard prowl toward
them. Gavvi. A beautiful cat. Kori crossed his arms. “I know. She told me to
behave.”

Torr laughed. “Gavvi said she’s leaving the cubs.
It is my honor to have met you, Cormac.”

“Mine, too, Torr. And thanks.”

Torr waved and walked away, pausing to glance
back. “I have something for her. I’ll bring it by later.”

‘Lera?’
He sent the question as he made
his way back through the camp, staring at all the tents with their gorgeous
artwork.

‘Yes?’

‘Where are you?’
The lack of emotion in
her voice still worried him.

‘Packing.’

He altered his course immediately for a direct
shot to their tent.
‘Are you sure you’re ready to travel?’

‘I need to go home.’

He paused outside the door before taking a deep
breath and entering. She knelt on the bed they’d shared, her bag open before
her, and she currently repacked it. Her amazing body was covered by the
leathers from Cairenn, the coat beside her. Her hair had been gathered and hung
down the middle of her back in a leather lacer, black and ruddy, like the rest
of her attire.

“Then, we go.”

She didn’t look at him. “Thank you.” Her words
were hushed and subdued.

“What do you need me to do?”

“Nothing, thank you. I’ll be ready in a few
minutes.”

Shoving a hand through his hair, he bit back a
growl of frustration. He could feel the wall going up around her heart. And,
for the life of him, he had no idea what to do, to make her understand it
wasn’t her fault, and he loved her still, more than his own life.

“Anyone home?” Torr asked from outside.

“Come on in,” he answered.

Jealousy punched him in the gut when Lera looked
up and gave Torr a smile. Gavvi entered as well. The tall man with silver-blue
eyes crouched before Lera and handed her a wrapped object.

“This is for you, Valera Sidorov of the Haikon.”

She took it slowly and never opened it, just
nodded and said with heartfelt emotion, “Thank you, Torr. I’ll keep it safe.”

They stared at one another for a few seconds, and
Kori would have sworn they spoke mentally. Torr reached out to her face, and
Kori couldn’t stop the rumble of warning from snaking up and out. The man
stopped a hairsbreadth from her face.

“Until we meet again, Valera.” Torr glanced at
Adric and added, “My honor, vaj.” He dropped his head in respect and rose with
an easy motion. “Cormac.” Another small nod, and the man with his feline
slipped out of the tent.

Slicing his gaze back to his mate, Kori found her
staring at the wrapped item in her hands. The fingertips from one hand moved in
abstract patterns over it.

“Lera?”

“We should go. I just would like to say goodbye
first.” She placed the gift in her bag, stood, slipped on her coat, and grabbed
the bag before hefting it over one shoulder.

He remained in the background while she said her
goodbyes. They struck out for the caves which had brought them here, and
silence lingered between them. A strained silence.

Each step they took closer to their path home, he
believed took them farther apart from one another. When they stepped out of the
darkness and were back where the trip had begun, he could feel the chasm
between them.