A Love Forbidden (10 page)

“I just hope they stop soon. I don’t fancy being the topic of conversation or the butt of jokes, even as well meant as they might be.”

“Oh, it’s just good fun. When Persune was trying to court me awhile back, I too had to bear some teasing and talk.” Josie’s expression sobered. “Of course, Father quickly put an end to all that, scolding me soundly for encouraging Persune with the visits I was paying to the camps. When I asked him how was I to convince the parents to send their children to school if they didn’t get to know and trust me, he finally calmed down a bit. Just count yourself fortunate that you don’t have a father nearby to lecture you about your behavior around men.”

Shiloh’s heart twisted. “I think I’d rather have a father alive to lecture me than be without one entirely.”

“Oh, Shiloh, I’m so sorry!” Josie halted and grabbed her arm. “That was thoughtless of me, complaining about my father, when you no longer have one. And you’re right. I shouldn’t be so hard on my father. He means well and only has my best interests at heart.”

“I didn’t tell you to make you feel badly.” Shiloh’s smile was wistful. “Only to remind the both of us that we should strive always to treat others with patience and compassion. One never knows, after all, how long one has with a dear one.”

Josie nodded. “So true. So true.” She paused and stared over Shiloh’s shoulder. “Speaking of treating others with patience and compassion,” she said, “there’s someone headed our way who equally deserves the same kindness. Or rather,” she added slyly, “
your
kindness. Personally,
I
have no problem treating him cordially.”

With a sinking feeling, Shiloh turned to find Jesse headed their way. Whatever did he want? Considering she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him since the disastrous visit with Douglas two weeks ago, and that she really didn’t need him until she chose to make another trip to Jack’s camp, it was surprising to see him headed their way.

The Chief Douglas fiasco notwithstanding, she was at least making some progress with the women in Johnson’s camp. And that was in no way thanks to Jesse. A lot of her good fortune was due to Susan paving the way for her in the past couple of weeks, but to Shiloh’s credit, it was her own efforts that had won over Susan.

Still, Josie was right. Everyone should be treated with patience and compassion—at least to the best of one’s abilities. It was just that, at times, some people strained the limits of such actions, and one of those people was surely Jesse Blackwater.

Funny, she thought, how these days being around Jesse set her on edge. She’d never felt like that when they were younger. But then, in the days back at the ranch, they’d both been so young and inexperienced in the ways of the world. Her more so than Jesse, of course, but still . . .

As he drew near, Shiloh pasted on a smile of welcome and stepped forward to greet him. Best to seize the advantage, she resolved, and take charge before Josie got it into her head to do so. There was no telling where the conversation might lead if her gregarious friend got into another matchmaking mood.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Shiloh said to the tall man who drew up before them. “What brings you all the way from Jack’s camp to the Agency?”

“Jack wants to see you again,” Jesse replied without preamble. “When can you be ready to ride there with me?”

Shiloh took a moment to digest that interesting bit of news and, as she did, a frisson of excitement vibrated through her. Was it possible? Was Captain Jack reconsidering allowing her to speak with his people? Oh, let it be so!

“Any idea what Jack wants to see me for?” she asked, tamping down any outward display of pleasure at Jesse’s curt pronouncement. Though he tried to hide it, she could tell he wasn’t particularly happy with Jack’s summons.

Jesse shrugged. “Who knows? I didn’t think it was my business to ask.”

“No, I’d imagine not,” Shiloh muttered under her breath. She paused as Josie apparently decided it was time to join them. “Tomorrow’s Sunday, so we can’t leave then. But Monday would be a good day to go, I think,” she replied as she sent her friend a quick glance, then looked back to Jesse. “Considering the long ride there and back, it’s already too late to head out today.”

“Suits me fine. The day after tomorrow at ten in the morning then?”

She nodded. A sudden thought struck her. “You won’t ride all the way home today, then come back on Monday to fetch me, will you?”

“No.” A wry grin tipped the corner of his mouth. “I figured you’d want to go in the next day or so. I told Jack I’d stay with Persune and his family until then.”

“Oh. Good.” Shiloh paused again, not sure what else needed saying, especially with the stilted conversation they were already having.

Josie, however, seemed to possess no such sense of reticence. “Perhaps you’d like to join us for supper at the boardinghouse then? We’re having beefsteak pie and boiled cabbage, and chocolate bread pudding for dessert. You could sit with Shiloh and me, so you’d have people you know to talk with.”

Yes, Josie was definitely back into her matchmaking mode, Shiloh thought with exasperation. Still, the consideration of spending some time with Jesse this evening wasn’t altogether unpleasant. She doubted, though, that he’d accept. She wasn’t disappointed.

“I’ve already made plans to share supper with Persune and his family,” he said, smiling politely down at Josie. “But I thank you for the invitation.”

“Well, perhaps another time then,” the other woman replied, regret clearly written all over her face.

Jesse solemnly nodded. “Yes, perhaps another time.”

An uncomfortable silence again fell between them. Finally, Shiloh couldn’t bear it a moment longer. She turned to Josie.

“We really should be on our way if we want to complete our full walk before it’s time to return to set the table for supper.”

“I suppose you’re right,” her friend said, looking uncertainly from her to Jesse.

“And I need to go as well,” Jesse said. “I promised to help Persune and a few of the others repair some of the pony pens.” He caught Shiloh’s gaze. “Until Monday then?”

“Yes.” She gave a quick nod. “Until Monday.”

With that, Jesse spun on his heel and strode away, heading back toward the river and Chief Douglas’s camp. The two women stood there for a few seconds, then Josie smiled.

“He most definitely likes you.”

Shiloh rolled her eyes. “Oh, Josie, don’t start. Just don’t start.” She stepped out, leaving her friend standing there, a contrived look of confusion on her face.

“Start what?” Josie called to her. “Truly, sometimes I don’t have the slightest inkling what you’re talking about.”

Then, apparently realizing Shiloh had no intention of discussing the subject any further, Josie gathered her skirts and ran after her.

Someone exiting the tepee and the tent flap slapping closed woke Jesse just before dawn on Monday morning. He yawned, stretched, and then pulled the buffalo robe up more tightly around his shoulders. Though it was almost the middle of April, the nights and early mornings still held a bitter chill to them. Not to mention the threat of snow this high in the mountains could linger until at least the beginning of June.

In the quiet of the darkened tepee, the only sound the slow, even breathing of its still-sleeping occupants, his thoughts soon turned to the day ahead. If truth be told, he wasn’t particularly looking forward to it.

Though he had told Shiloh he didn’t know why Jack had asked to see her again—and he technically
didn’t
know as he hadn’t outright asked—Jesse suspected his chief had given her last visit some thought and was reconsidering her offer to teach the children. Jack, after his time scouting for the US Army, could not only read but also understand better than most of the People how important it was to know the white man and his ways. Not to assimilate into the white culture, of course, but rather to comprehend the enemy better, and use that insight against him.

Nonetheless, Jesse didn’t want Shiloh getting involved. Jack would use her until he didn’t need her anymore, and then toss her aside. And
that
would be the best that could happen. Whether she realized it or not, she was fast becoming a pawn in the ever-escalating war between the US government and the Utes. For that matter, he supposed Meeker was caught in the middle as well, which, if Meeker actually realized his predicament, could explain some of the man’s periodic frustrated and angry outbursts.

Still, as hard as he tried to discourage Shiloh, something always seemed to be happening to bolster her optimism that she would indeed succeed. First, Susan and Johnson joining forces with her, and now Jack’s summons. Though she might have thought she’d successfully hidden her delight when he’d informed her of Jack’s invitation, Jesse hadn’t been fooled. She thought she was beginning to make some inroads with the People. And if things continued to play out as they had so far, he didn’t hold much hope of convincing Shiloh otherwise.

Perhaps it was best just to give up and let things occur as they may. He couldn’t protect her if she wouldn’t let him. Better to just do as he’d planned. Fulfill his obligations to her, then stay far away from her from there on out.

With a sigh, Jesse flung aside the robe and sat up. The frigid air slammed into his bare skin, sending a spray of gooseflesh forming over his body. He quickly dressed, pulled on his moccasins, grabbed up his buckskin coat, and crawled across the hard-packed tepee floor and out the skin-covered door.

He needed to wash, eat breakfast, and make some plans. Plans that, he was certain, Shiloh would spend the rest of the day attempting to thwart.

Jesse’s gloomy mood hadn’t lifted by the time he mounted his pony later that morning and set out for the Agency headquarters. The sight of Shiloh standing outside the Agency office beside her horse, her eyes bright with anticipation, her welcoming smile wide and joyous, did little to sweeten his sour mood.

The ever-faithful Josie stood beside her, likely there to bid her a safe and fruitful journey. She was a nice enough young woman, even if she was slowly breaking his best friend’s heart. Jesse, however, had to admit he was becoming mightily weary of having to listen to Persune’s moanings and groanings every time he visited these days. Based on his friend’s misery, unrequited love was not something Jesse ever cared to experience.

In the distance, a mule team pulled a loaded freight wagon over the last rise. Likely more supplies for the Agency, Jesse thought. If additional annuity goods were in that load, he knew word would travel fast among the camps, and in the next few hours, Utes would be swarming the area, eagerly watching everything that was unloaded.

Luckily, he and Shiloh would be long gone before all the chaos ensued. He drew up his horse a few feet from where she was standing and looked down at her.

“Ready to head out to Jack’s camp?”

“Yes.” She shot a glance toward the freight wagon slowly lumbering toward the Agency. “Would you mind waiting for a few minutes more? Until the freight wagon arrives? I just want to see if there are any letters from home.”

Another fifteen or twenty minutes weren’t going to immeasurably impact their trip. Besides, Jesse knew how important letters from her family must be to Shiloh. She had been such a tenderhearted person as a girl. From all he could tell, she still was.

“Suit yourself. It’s up to you how soon you want to get to Jack’s camp.”

“It won’t be long, I promise. In fact, I’ll just ride out to meet the freight driver right now.” She untied her horse, gathered up the reins, and quickly mounted. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

With that, Shiloh urged her horse into a fast walk that swiftly accelerated into a lope. As Jesse watched, she soon reached the wagon, and the driver halted. There was a brief interchange. Then the man reached behind him and pulled out a packet of letters, which he handed to Shiloh.

He pointed to the one on top and appeared to explain something. Shiloh immediately pulled that letter free and ripped it open. For a long moment she avidly read the letter, then ever so slowly looked in Jesse’s direction.