A Love Worth Waiting For and Heaven Knows (10 page)

He bowed his head, hardly able to hear her through the rush of his pulse. The gentle words of her prayer reminded him that whatever happened, the Lord was watching over him. He would be all right.

He took a deep breath, calmer, stronger.
Thank you for Julie,
he added silently to the prayer before he murmured his amen.

He opened his eyes. Julie's face was all he could see. Her dark hair escaping in wispy tendrils from the ponytail to frame her face. The curve of her cheek, the light of her spirit in her eyes, the delicate cut of her chin that made him reach out and cup her jaw in the palm of his hand.

“Your friendship is the best blessing I've received in a long while.” He'd never spoken so honestly. Overwhelmed with tenderness, he brushed his lips to her cheek. Sweetness filled him, and he felt heartened. Uplifted.

“You're a blessing to me, too.” Her voice came rough with emotion.

He rubbed his thumb across the soft line of her jaw. She was so amazing to him. He'd never met
anyone like her, so full of convictions and life and spirit. The caring that shone in her eyes seemed genuine. It really did. That amazed him, too, because he didn't see it very often.

“Do you want me to take you back to your grandmother?” she offered.

“No, I'm not ready for that, and I don't want her to know right now.”

“I don't think you should be alone. I can call your sister. Or, I know, I could take you skiing again. Or we could just go to my place and talk. I'll even make hot chocolate. We'll do whatever you need, Noah.”

His instincts told him to be sensible. He didn't need to talk. He didn't need anyone. His jet was waiting. They were expecting him at the office. While he was sitting here, work was piling up on his desks. There would be memos, phone calls, e-mails and faxes all needing his attention, and more problems to solve than the day was long.

He had every reason to ask her to take him to the airport.

Only one reason to stay.

She was waiting for an answer, half in and half out of her seat belt, her sweater rumpled and a blue paint smear on her sleeve. His thoughts should be focused on the doctor's news. His emotions centered on the fear or panic or whatever it was that he was going to feel once the numbness and shock wore off.

Instead, he wanted to go skiing with her. They'd had so much fun. No one had ever teased him like that. And she'd raced him, and beat him. Man, he'd had a great time.

The wind gusted against the side of the truck, rocking the vehicle just enough to jostle him out of his thoughts. A lot of snow had fallen, he was only now noticing, and it completely covered the windshield except for a tiny row at the top. Giving him a glimpse of the white-mantled maple overhead and the ice-gray sky above. The sight of that sky made him yearn for something he couldn't name.

Or maybe it was this feeling Julie was creating in him.

Logic told him he had to leave. There was work waiting for him. It was the responsible thing to do. But that wasn't the real reason.

“I have to get back.” He hated seeing the flash of disappointment on her beautiful face. He'd let her down, and he hadn't meant to. “Can I call you sometime, just to talk, friend to friend?”

“Absolutely. I should give you my e-mail address, too.” She went to reach for her book bag, as if nothing were wrong, as if he hadn't just rejected her.

He pulled a card from his pocket. “Here's mine. Call me anytime, Julie. I mean that.”

“That goes both ways.” She ran her thumb over the embossed letters on the thin business card. “We're still friends, right?”

“Very good friends.” He really liked her. He liked that she understood about romantic doom, since he'd had a lot of that in his life. He loved that she was his friend.

Out of the blue, he needed her, and she was there. She had to be a gift from heaven, a blessing wrapped up in a blue jacket and topped with a rainbow-striped cap. She'd reminded him there was more to life than work. Maybe even more to him.

What if this was cancer? He stopped his thoughts right there. One step at a time. He needed to contact a doctor back home. There would be appointments and surgery and… His stomach clenched tight with fear. He really didn't want to think about what happened then.

What mattered was the present. This moment. With Julie.

“Maybe next time I'll take you skiing.” Yes, that's what he'd do. He loved skiing, and it
was
wintertime. Colorado was really something this time of year.

“Next time, huh?” She climbed back into her seat belt, trouble twinkling in her eyes. “I could be persuaded to ski with you again. For the right price.”

“Wow. The right price, huh? How about a cup of hot chocolate?”

“Add marshmallows and you have a deal, mister.”

How she made him shine inside, like the sun
dawning in the dark night of his heart, bringing a fresh start and new possibilities.

He reached across the seat and twined his fingers through hers. He cared about her. How fortunate he was that she'd walked into his life.

 

At the small municipal airport, Julie watched Noah wave a final time before he disappeared behind the glass windows. The scent of his aftershave lingered in the cab and on her clothes. She felt lonely, knowing he was gone.

Way to go, Julie. You're starting to like him way too much. And what good would come of that? Not one thing. Noah was rich, handsome, kind and a good Christian. Pretty much everything she'd ever dreamed of in a man.

As if he'd ever be interested in her.

Julie could see the small private planes through the security fencing. Without a doubt, she knew the pretty white-and-gold plane, the one that shouted “lavishly expensive” was Noah's. In a few minutes he'd be boarding that plane and probably settling down in seats of the finest leather. He'd snack on caviar and call Tokyo on his air phone.

Yep, she'd surely fit into his lifestyle. No problem. Her Chevy truck could compete with his jet anyday. So, she hadn't gone for the leather seats, and she didn't have satellite positioning. She could always upgrade, right?

Wrong. She shifted, pulling onto the highway. Snow scudded across the pavement, driven by the harsh wind. She felt like the road, laid bare by powers beyond her control. Her heart felt exposed, raw and aching.

He'd touched her. He'd been so sweet to her in the truck. Looking into his eyes, seeing the real Noah made her like him way too much.

It was his fault, for being so terrific, so gentle and kind and good and funny. He was to blame for going skiing with her and liking hot chocolate and caring so much for his grandmother. That would make any woman adore him.

He was at fault for being so wonderful.

Then he'd cupped her face with his big hand. “Your friendship is the best blessing I've received in a long while.” And then he'd kissed her.

How had she let this happen? Wasn't being abandoned in front of her friends and family enough to prove to her that she'd always be alone? It didn't matter how wonderful everyone had been or how sympathetic and sorry, the truth was still the truth. Chet had tried to love her, and couldn't. He couldn't stand before God and take her as his wife. She wasn't someone he could love like that.

And Ray, the fiancé before that, had felt the same way. He'd fallen in love with one of her bridesmaids and they'd eloped. At least Ray had called her
from Pocatello, Idaho, so she'd had time to cancel the wedding.

And her very first fiancé, when she'd been a tender nineteen, had been too young, just as she'd been. They'd made a mess of their romance because they had different values and different wishes for their lives. The breakup had been sensible, but it had left her feeling as if she wasn't good enough. That she'd never find a love of her own.

Three strikes, you're out. Isn't that the way it was? She often made light of it, but not even Susan or Misty or Granddad knew the real anguish in her soul. What was wrong with her, that love never worked out? That the men who said they loved her enough to offer her an engagement ring couldn't stick around? They, like her mother, didn't see enough in her to want to stay.

How on earth could she ever expect anything more from Noah? He had his choice of women, and he'd been horribly hurt in love, but…all you had to do was look at him. He was perfect in every way. When he chose to risk his heart again, it would probably be to fall in love with some slender, leggy supermodel, the kind that graduated from Harvard and launched her own charity foundation and did good deeds for humanity between photo shoots.

He deserved the best. Julie wanted that for him.

It was humbling and it hurt, but she was no
supermodel, that was for sure. She merely had a teaching degree from the local university, and she hadn't graduated with honors. She wasn't photogenic, her charitable work was done through the church's annual food drive for the holidays and she'd be lost in a big city like New York.

And why was she even thinking like that? The man wasn't interested in her. He wasn't going to propose to her. He hadn't bought a tux for their wedding. He just wanted to go skiing again—that was all.

At the edge of town, she slowed to the posted twenty-five miles per hour, waving at the local sheriff, who was in his patrol car checking radar beside the road. They'd gone to school together, and his little boy was in her morning class. He saluted, as he always did, with a friendly smile. They'd dated briefly in high school. He'd been her date to Junior Prom. Now he was married and a father.

Some people were very blessed.

Feeling extralonely, she followed an impulse and pulled into an available parking spot in front of the town grocery. Tonight she would make Granddad's favorite meal and invite both him and Nora over for supper. Since she had her cell phone handy, she made a few calls to arrange it.

By the time she snagged her own cart from the front of the store and started through the aisles, she was feeling better. Her momentary lapse of sadness
was gone. She had blessings she was immensely grateful for.

“Miss Renton! Mama, there's Miss Renton!” a little girl's voice rang out from the produce aisle.

Julie recognized a student from her afternoon class. “Hello, Brittany.”

“We're shoppin' for the turkey.” The little girl's ringlets bounced as she skipped to a stop in the middle of the aisle, leaving her mother's side and the brimming shopping cart. “Mommy's gonna make yams just the way I like 'em.”

“With the sugary stuff?” Julie asked, as Brittany's mom bagged a head of lettuce before heading their way. “Those are my favorite kind of yams, too. Is your mommy baking a pie?”

“Three pies.” Brittany held up the appropriate number of fingers. “My baby brother's too little to eat 'em.”

“We're having the whole family over,” Carol explained as she shoved the heavy cart to a stop, the new baby belted safely in the seat. “Oh, I had the best time at the engagement party. I haven't danced in so long and my feet still hurt from it, but I don't mind a bit.”

“I'm glad you had a good time. How's your new baby?”

“Not sleeping through the nights, yet. Look, he's wearing the sleeper you gave him at the shower.” Carol tugged down the blanket to show a blue
romper. They chatted for a few more minutes, before Julie went on her way.

As she selected onions and bagged them, a baby began crying in the next aisle. Probably Carol's baby. The principal's wife whisked by with a basket and said hello, and later Julie waved at a friend from church in the bakery section. Kids were plastered in front of the glass display case of decorated cookies. Mothers were everywhere, hurrying to buy what they needed for supper, or shopping early for the upcoming holidays.

Julie checked off the last item on her list and headed for the checkout. She paid for her purchases, carried the two bags of groceries to her truck and headed home.

Alone.

 

Noah heard the phone ringing in the hall. Was it Julie? He didn't know why, but he hoped so. Maybe she'd call to see if he made it home safe. That would be just like her.

Hurrying as the phone continued to shrill, he punched off his security and raced through the room, dropping his keys and briefcase as he went. He couldn't wait to hear her voice.

He snatched up the phone in midring. “Hey.”

“I'm mad as a wet hornet at you, young man,” Nanna scolded. “You didn't tell me what happened, oh, no. I had to hear about my only grandson from my friends at the weekly Ladies' Aid meeting.”

How had Nanna found out? Nobody knew about his test results. No one but Julie, and he hoped she hadn't told. How was he going to protect his grandmother from this? Her wedding was two weeks away, and he could be facing a cancer diagnosis. “Nanna, I'm sorry. I meant to tell you.”

“Well, I should hope so. I asked Julie if it was true, when she invited Harold and me out to her lovely home for supper tonight, and she said it was. Whatever am I to do with you, my dear boy?”

“
Julie
told you?” He broke a little inside. He'd thought she was the kind of person he could trust.

“Trying to keep it a secret from your own grandmother. Don't you know how I like to brag about my Noah? Goodness' sake, how can I take pride in you if I'm always the last to know about your latest good deed?”

“Good deed?” Noah stopped in his tracks. Nanna wasn't taking about the medical tests? Then what was this about?

“Saving that little girl from the creek. I heard how she was drowning and you dove in to save her.” Nanna's voice radiated pride.

“Not true. The kid had fallen from her horse. Both Julie and I happened to be driving by when it happened. We stopped and found the girl in the field. We both took her home. End of story.”

“Hmm, I didn't know that about Julie. She conveniently left that piece of information out of our
conversation. Now I'm fed up with the both of you! Next time, you tell your grandmother what you've been up to. Do you hear me?”