Then how did we get here?
Are you really going to ask such inane questions all the time? Mystic bloody forces; just accept them and cope!
There was a polite cough from the other end of the platform. Odas hand flew to her bag. I said, Hello.
There were three of them, a man and two women. They stood in the entrance to the platform, underneath an old-fashioned sign of a black metal hand with an outstretched finger, below which was the word
Exit
. They had guns. They werent smiling. Evening, said one of the women, stepping forward. Were you wanting to see us?
They took Odas bag. That made her angry but at least she coped without shouting. They took my satchel. I said nothing, and wished I had deeper pockets.
Then they blindfolded us and, with a hand on our arm, took us walking. By the gentle rumbling through my feet and the hot, heavy nature of the air, we didnt go above ground. Besides, our senses were tingling, picking up a low, familiar buzz, a texture to the air between our fingers that seemed
enticing, and which grew with every passing second.
We walked, I estimated, for nearly ten minutes. At one point the smell of the sewers congealed fat and diluted waste hit my senses; at another I walked in the company of the rats, watching through their eyes as they scuttled in the dark ten paces behind us, until one of the people escorting us heard the pattering of their claws, and shooed them away with a violent shout in their case, and a clip across the back of the head in mine not painful nor particularly threatening, but a warning enough that they guessed why the rats were so interested. Our footsteps echoed, and the air grew thicker. So did the taste of magic in that place, a heavy texture as if the breeze passing through my fingers when I moved were liquid, not gas, and as if the floor were covered with treacle, which clung to my feet when I moved.
As we walked, I heard the opening and shutting of several heavy metal doors or gates, and the clicking of many locks. The overall trend seemed level what few steps up we took were counteracted by a similar number leading back down, so that I imagined we couldnt be much higher than the Piccadilly line itself by the time we reached our destination. When we arrived, we knew the place at once, familiar to us even from the outside, and I had to struggle not to laugh.
The place where they took off our blindfolds was close, gloomy, made of concrete concrete walls, floor, ceiling, once a uniform pale beige, now inclining to grey and full of giant, silent old pieces of machinery. There were banks and banks of it, cables drooping from the monoliths of their bulk, wires sagging and exposed, bulbs off and rust beginning to creep onto the exposed circuit boards inside their slotted structures. But still you could see these were, undeniably, the remnants of a telephone exchange. We could sense, even now, the humming of the place, the clatter of its underground workings though, by the look of it, many years had passed since the place had been put to its original use.
What had been put to use, however, were the floors, walls and even parts of the ceiling, which were vividly covered with paint. Swirls of colour, messages in orange, blue, purple, pink, images of watching eyes, scampering rats, elves in fancy clothes, creatures fictional and real and some who walked the fine line in between, caricatures of politicians, images of images done in mock-graffito style here a Rembrandt, reproduced with all the characters playing poker rather than watching the potatoes boil, there a Monet where all the faces were reproduced as beady-eyed ferrets jostling each other in their frilly dresses if there was any space at all, someone had filled it with paint. The floors glowed with it, the ceiling dripped it, the walls ran with it. The place looked like a psychedelic nightmare, an LSD trip gone wrong, down in the remnants of the Kingsway Telephone Exchange.
They took us into a room whose walls were variations on a theme of purple purple tower blocks melting into violet flowers that curled around maroon caterpillars squirming their way around lavender bushes that themselves melted into tower blocks again, whose lights described little faces peering out from the rectangular frames of their windows. A heavy iron door, with the words Committee Room in old-fashioned lettering, was slammed behind us, and locked. At the far end of the room, someone had left an old mattress stained a suspicious brown, and a bucket.
Oda said, Is this part of your plan, sorcerer?
I sat down not on the mattress yawned and said, Its fine for now.
In what way is this fine?
Youre not dead, Im not dead, they havent killed us, we havent killed them, its fine, I replied. If I was a White being pursued by the Tower for nonconformity and antsiness, Id be iffy about strangers too. I suggest you get a bit of sleep and try not to worry.
I wont sleep in this place, she answered, pacing across the room and scowling.
Why not?
Its horrific.
I stared at her in surprise. Why?
Theyve painted enchantments into the walls, sorcerer! How can you sleep, knowing that?
I looked round the room at the swirling landscape. We think its beautiful, we said. Tire yourself out if you must; Im going to sleep.
With that I pulled my coat up around my shoulders, tucked my knees into my chest, rolled onto my side, closed my eyes, and was quickly asleep. My dreams were all purple.
They woke us there was no way to tell when: day, night, we had nothing to go on and took us down the corridors, past a reinforced iron door and into a room with a large round table and a single suspended light. A woman was seated there with her red-booted feet up on the table, examining her nails. Her hair was black, and heavy quantities of make-up made her eyelashes seem to stretch on for ever; the corners of her eyes were painted with the long curving lines Id seen in the Egyptian eyes at Farringdon station. Her lips were black, her skin was pale, her nails were painted bright blue and her clothes were all leather, studs and chains. She said, not looking up as we entered, I havent got much time, so lets get it over with.
Odas bag of weapons stood in the corner, opened and rummaged; at the sight of such disdain for her equipment, Odas face darkened.
OK, I said, sitting down where indicated by one of the people whod brought us here. Briefly Im a sorcerer, and this lady here represents a truly vile and unimaginative group of idiots who may prove useful. Ive got a grudge against the Tower; I was responsible for the campaign against Amiltech, although not for Khays death; Dudley Sinclair recruited me to an alliance of people cooperating against the Tower, including bikers, warlocks, fortune-tellers and bag ladies; the Beggar King told me how to find you; Im told that you and Guy Lee are locked in a bitter and losing battle. Would you like my help, and will you help me?
The woman flicked the end of one of her nails and didnt look at me. Ill think about it, she said. Thanks for asking.
She nodded airily at the wall, and our guards pulled us back up by the elbows and led us from the room, back to our purple prison.
With the door locked again, Oda stared at me in horror. What was that? she asked, in a voice too calm to be what it seemed.
I sat back down in my corner. Personally, I thought it went rather well.
More meaningless time.
No one had told me that vengeance could be so boring.
They fed us sandwiches spam and stale bread, with tea in chipped mugs. We ate, curious to see if spam was as bad as I remembered it, and were satisfied to find that it was. Oda ate nothing; so, just to make sure, we ate hers.
Oda started doing push-ups in a corner.
What the hell are you doing?
I have to stay fit, she replied.
For what?
She glared at me. When shed done fifty push-ups, she switched, and did fifty sit-ups. I felt tired just watching her.
When there had been what I guessed was a whole no-night and a long no-day, Oda said, You know, if I dont make regular calls, they start cutting bits off the biker, Blackjack.
I groaned and stood up from my corner. Right! I snapped.
Fine
. Everyones expecting this so why dont I just bloody get on with it?
Bored? she asked, raising one cocky eyebrow.
I glared, marched up to the iron door and hammered on it. You talk to me right now! I shouted. Or I swear I will fry everything in bloody sight and lots of stuff besides!
When there was no answer, I gave them a count of thirty seconds, then stood back. Right, I muttered. I pressed my ear against the door, half-closed my eyes, and started murmuring the guiding, meaningless sounds of an opening spell, whispering imploring noises into the iron, coaxing the touch of my breath all the way down to the lock, stroking it with my fingertips like you might caress a frightened kitten, wishing I had my set of blank keys from my satchel to make life easier. Purple paint bubbled and hissed on the walls; the tower blocks swayed, the lavender bushes whispered in the wind, little faces of office lights blinked uneasily at us from the surface of the walls; until, eventually, with a reluctant snap, the lock came open.
I pushed the door back. There was no one in the long, gloomy corridor, but also no rats I could hijack for a little scouting. There was, however, a
lot
of electricity around. I said to Oda, If I ask you to keep out of my way, youll just make a hollow laughing sound, am I right?
You give me more credit for humour than I deserve, she replied. I wasnt entirely surprised.
I held up my fingers and started dragging the electricity out of the walls, wrapping it round my hand, my wrists, wreathing it up my arms and around my neck like a scarf, letting it drape down my back in a mass of angry worms of lightning, feeling it wriggle across my chest and make my hair stand on end. When I had enough of it in my grasp that my blood ached with the pressure of it, and my eyes stung from the closeness of its heat to my face, I started marching down the corridor. Oda followed at a tactful distance. As we walked, the paintings very gently turned to watch us.
I chuckled.
Whats so funny?
Theyre watching, I said.
Whos watching?
The Whites.
Why?
Im not entirely sure. Come on. This way.
How do you know?
We know this place from the inside, from the old days.
What do you mean?
It used to be a telephone exchange. We would come and play here, when the lines werent so busy. Remember trust me!
You try, one day, she retorted. I grinned and kept walking.
When we ran into the first guard, he had a firemans axe in one hand, took one look at us, and ran straight for us. I threw a handful of electricity on instinct, and that knocked him back, but, to our surprise, didnt do anything more. He charged again, mouth open and face twisted with rage it occurred to me that, for an angry running man, he made almost no sound. So I lowered my hands and waited, while the electricity popped angrily between my fingers. Oda leapt forward to push me aside, but at the last instant, when the axe was an inch from striking, the man stopped, wobbled, and shattered into a thousand spatters of paint, which quickly wiggled their way into the concrete. Illusions, I said.
You seem to be enjoying yourself, she replied, self-consciously flicking bubbles of paint off the back of her hand.
I think I understand whats going on.
Perhaps you can explain it to me.
I think the whole thing is a bloody inane test.
A test?
To see if were really any use whatsoever.
Use? she echoed with disdain.
Are you just going to repeat select parts of what I say?
I just wish to remove any hint of cryptic mystery youre attempting to push.
I sighed. In the good old days you said, Hello, Im a sorcerer and this is what I want and people bloody listened. But these days
I guess Bakker has given the profession a bad name.
I relaxed, turning my fingers towards the floor, and slowly let the electricity on my skin make its way to earth, tickling its way down my legs, across my feet and into the concrete.
If I understand you, is that wise? she asked, watching the last sparks die.
Bollocks if Im going to play their games, I replied. We have too much we need to do. I raised my head and shouted down the corridor, All right, youve had your fun, youve seen what were up to. Now either you cut this crap right now or Ill bring the bloody street down on your head, and dont think Im not in the mood.
Can you do that? asked Oda quietly.
I dropped my voice again. Oda, even if I was inclined to tell you the extent of my abilities, do you really think now is the time for an academic exploration of the subject?
You were saying? she asked, lifting her eyebrows and smiling a sickly smile.
Oh, right, yes. I raised my voice again. I mean it! We talk right now or everything goes fucking mythic. Right
now
!
From the far end of the corridor a petulant voice said, Oh, all right, sorcerer, youve made your point. Jesus, its not like we wanted the sermon on the fucking mount.
I grinned at Oda. Now, that wasnt so hard, was it?
We ended up back in the room with the round table. She said her name was Vera and she was, she coldly informed us, the mostly properly elected head of the Long White City Clan, and proud of it.
Whats a mostly properly elected head? I asked.