A Marriage of Convenience (4 page)

“Defy me and you will get nothing, Austin. Do you hear me? Nothing. What is your degree in, dear? Art history, correct? Do you think you’re going to get a job that will pay enough to take care of yourself and a wife and child? We both know the stipend I give you now is the only way you’re making ends meet. And we both know how eager you are to get your inheritance. But I won’t release a red cent until I can lay my head on the pillow at night knowing I can open my eyes the next day assured that my son is a man I can be proud of. And that includes taking a wife that I can be proud of. I’m not the first woman in society to have a son father a child off a money-grubbing girl from the wrong side of the tracks. But young men from good families do not build lives with these girls. You are building an illusion now, a legend. You will be known as the young man who tried to do the right thing but ultimately decided that the girl was flawed. She will be gone, forgotten and your good reputation will be intact. After she’s out the nannies and I can care for the baby properly while you enroll in law school. Later, if you run for office this is the sort of thing that you can point to as a testament to your character.”

Austin bit his lip. His mother often expressed a desire to see him pursue a political career. It didn’t matter to her that he’d never even entertained the idea.

He took another bite of his food, not really tasting it. He wanted to tell his mother that he didn’t care, that she could keep the damn money. But the truth was, Austin was afraid to openly defy her. So many of his friends were searching for work months after graduating from college. His own job as assistant curator of a small museum had only been snagged due to his mother’s generous contributions. To be cut off, penniless, would mean living hand-to-mouth like everyone else did. He wouldn’t be able to afford the car and the new condo that the stipend his mother gave him helped pay for. And his plans for the future - plans that he’d hoped would include Sabrina and Jillian - depended on having a sizeable income.

But would his plans include Jillian? His mother’s scheme was cruel. Jillian was a good mother; the idea of playing a role in her plan to rip Sabrina and Jillian apart turned his stomach. But Austin felt like a coward sitting there, and the only thing that made him feel less so was his commitment to finding a way to keep his new family together without sacrificing his rightful inheritance.

He knew his father had meant well, asking his mother to see that he was responsible before getting the money. But to leave it entirely to his wife’s discretion? Austin wondered if his father could ever have imagined how readily she would use it as a tool to control their only son.

“I have to go,” he said, unable to bear any more of his mother’s company.

“Going home to play happy family?” she asked. “Play it well. And just what are your plans for today?”

Austin felt himself stiffen at her mocking tone. “If you must know, Mother, Jillian and I are going grocery shopping.”

“So she’s not out looking for a job, then?” Martha Bellaford asked.

“No. I think it’s best for Sabrina if her mother is home with her.”

“Brilliant,” his mother said, standing. “I’m sure she accepted that offer all too eagerly. Women like that are always looking for wealthy men to sponge off of. She’ll probably sit around watching television all day. But let her. It will only work against her in the custody hearing where the judge will surely seen that a capable, engaged nanny is better than a lazy mother.”

Austin turned, not daring to speak another word lest the shame and rage he felt spill over in one long and ugly string of insults. He could not get home fast enough and as he edged through traffic his thoughts turned to Jillian.

If his mother had known how she resisted his efforts to have her stay at home, what would she have said to that? He regretted not defending his wife as he recalled how he’d had to spank her to get him to accept this new rule he was imposing on her. It had felt so natural, and had happened to naturally that it had taken Austin as much by surprise as it had obviously taken Jillian.

Austin had always felt he was born out of time, and when he envision what kind of marriage he would have he imagined himself as the strong head of the household, the kind of man who inspired obedience. It had not been for lack of female attention that he wasn’t married; it had been because he’d not found the kind of woman he was looking for. Most were more interested in challenging men than living as their complements; it had taken Austin a long time to realize that what he wanted - a sweet, submissive woman - didn’t really exist anymore. The women he’d tried to date spoke of equality and “not taking anything” from men, although they expected the man they were seeing to take plenty. Austin sometimes thought if he had a dollar for every time he resisted the temptation to spank the daylights out of one of his dates, he wouldn’t need his inheritance. Because there seemed to be a shortage of women that suited his tastes, Austin had stopped dating and had settled instead for the occasional one-night stand. He knew it was wrong; but most of the women went into the arrangement with their eyes wide opened. It was liberating to walk away the next morning without worrying about commitment or drama or the disappointment of finding out that a woman he liked was just another contentious and unsuitable partner.

He’d thought Jillian had just been another woman, although she had seemed different somehow. She was prettier, for one thing, and far sweeter. Austin had never felt such an attraction to a woman. He’d wanted to call her the next day but had talked himself out of it, telling himself they were all the same. Now, to find that she was not only truly different, but likely the type of submissive female he was looking for, it seemed especially cruel that his mother was so determined to rip them apart.

And what did it say about him that he wasn’t standing up to her? Austin felt a stab of guilt. He wanted to lead his family, to guide and direct his wife. He wanted Jillian to stay sweet and compliant and accept it if he had to repeat the spanking he’d given her the night before. But how could he expect that of her were she to find out that he was so weak against his mother’s will. Austin wondered if his need to head up his family had anything to do with feeling so helpless within his own. But there was no time to analyze it. He’d pulled up into the driveway of the condo; he’d never felt more happy to be home.

He found Jillian at the kitchen table sitting in front of a sewing machine. She was feeding some sunny yellow fabric across the plate as the feed whirred and gathered the edges. He’d never actually seen anyone use a sewing machine. It made him smile.

“Hi,” he said.

Jillian looked up and smiled. She was wearing a mint-colored sundress that matched her eyes. Her brunette hair was glossy and loose around her shoulders.

“Hi yourself.”

He walked over, looking down at the table.

“What are you making?” he asked.

“A dress for Sabrina.” She pushed a pattern towards him. On the front was the picture of an infant in a dress with capped sleeves. He looked down and could not see any resemblance to the bundle of fabric in the machine.

“I didn’t know you could sew,” he said.

“I learned from a neighbor when I was eight,” Jillian said. “She used to feed me and let me stay at her place when my mother got too drunk to come home. She was Korean and she and her family ran a laundry service. She did clothing repair and sewing. She could make anything. I was amazed and one afternoon she asked if I wanted to learn and I said ‘yes.’”

Jillian snipped a thread, pulled the fabric out from under the machine, turned it right side out and held it up. What had looked like a bundle of seams from the wrong side was, indeed, a dress and as perfect as the one on the pattern cover.

“I have so much fabric,” Jillian said. “Now that I’m home with Sabrina I can sew her an entire wardrobe. We’ll save a lot of money on clothing if I can make it myself.”

Austin sat down across from her. “You don’t have to do that,” he said quietly. “I mean, it’s a beautiful dress but I could take you to one of those specialty baby shops and we could buy her anything she needs. Those places carry designer labels.”

Jillian said nothing for a moment and then sighed. When she spoke, her tone was cautious.

“I’m not that kind of person, Austin,” she said. “Labels don’t impress me, and I think it’s wrong to spend money you don’t need to spend. I’m not saying we can’t ever buy Sabrina nice things, but what’s the point of spending a hundred dollars on a dress just because some designer’s name is on the label? Especially since it was probably mass-produced in a sweatshop somewhere? I want her to be raised better than that. I may not have much to offer her, but I want her to be a content person happy with what she has and not always full of greed and wanting more. If you start buying her designer clothes before she can even appreciate them, she’ll grow up thinking she’s entitled to things like that.”

She paused. “I don’t want to be responsible for raising someone with that kind of mentality.”

It occurred to Austin that his wife had just described his mother, the very woman who wanted to claim Sabrina and hire nannies to mold her into the very opposite of what Jillian envisioned. It did not make him feel any better.

“It’s easy to get used to nice things,” he said. “You’ll see.”

But Jillian shook her head. “I don’t want them, Austin. I don’t need them. What you see as nice, I see as unnecessary extravagance. Even the refrigerator is filled with overpriced stuff.” She stood and walked over, opening the door. She pulled out a tube of basil spread.

“Basil in a tube? Seriously?” She sighed and put it back in. “Don’t you even have a local farmer’s market?”

He nodded. “There’s one down the street,” he said. Then he brightened. “You want to go?”

“I’d love to,” she said.

For the next few hours, Jillian and Austin shopped at the market as Sabrina stared from her stroller at the sights around her. Jillian selected fresh potted herbs to plant on the balcony of their condo. She bought fresh eggs, farmstead cheese, vegetables and free-range chicken. As they walked, she and Austin stopped to chat with other young parents. Most seemed happy and relaxed. Austin felt comfortable and happy in the laid-back environment, which was so much different than the country club setting he’d grown up with.

He began to wonder exactly what it was he was trying to hold onto? A lifestyle? Security? Did he really think he’d be unable to get hired? He looked around at other young men his age who strolled with their wives and children. They had all faced the same fears. So what made him think he had any more right to be insulated from reality than they did. In spite of the economy, these men seemed to be enjoying life with their families at their side. Maybe, he thought, that’s what being a family is about. Austin knew he’d never really be the kind of man he needed to be or earn the kind of respect he wanted from Jillian until he stood up to his mother once and for all.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jillian asked, noticing that he’d stopped walking with her.

“Nothing,” he said. “I just have a question.”

“OK.” She smiled. The afternoon sun was reflected off her hair. Her shoulders were bronze from the sun. She looked like an earth goddess.

“Would it matter to you if I didn’t have any money?”

She was quiet for a moment, and then laughed. “No,” she said. “It’s not like I’d miss something I’ve not grown up with. And besides. We’d make do, right?”

She took his hand in his and in that moment, Austin had never been happier. He decided then and there that on his way home from work the next day, he’d stop and end his mother’s control of him once and for all. He could hardly wait.

Austin did not want to get up and go to work. What he wanted to do was stay in bed beside the delectable woman who was nestled up to him. He ran his hand down the warm cover of her back. When he reached her buttock, she flinched in her sleep and he smiled.

Her second spanking had not been for punishment, but rather had risen spontaneously during foreplay. They’d been on their knees facing one another on the bed, in a state of half-undress. She’d been undoing the buttons on his shirt and when his hands got in her way Jillian had playfully slapped them aside. Austin had grabbed her wrists.

“My oh my,” he said. “It would seem someone could use a lesson in manners…”

She’s smiled slyly at him. “And just who is going to teach me?”

He’d pulled her roughly to him. “Who do you think, young lady?”

He’d kissed her roughly then and sat down, pulling her across his lap. The spanks he initially gave her were playful ones over her panties. But as she began to moan and squirm, he increased the force. He could feel the heat rising from her backside and found himself becoming terribly excited. Austin ripped the panties down roughly and was delighted to find Jillian wet when he dipped a finger between her legs. He rubbed his slickened fingers over the pink warmth of her backside and then began to spank her. He used more force now, gauging her reaction. Jillian did not fight him, not even as she whimpered and wound her fingers into the bed sheets. Her bottom rose up to meet his increasingly hard spanks; she seemed determined to submit to him, even when it hurt her. Austin had never been more in love, or more sexually excited.

He removed her from his lap, positioned her on her hands and knees and drove into her. Jillian gave a small cry from the force of his entry and then moaned in ecstasy as she accepted the relentless thrusting. Austin kept his hands on her hips, reveling in the soft skin and the view before him - the graceful curve of her back, the little dimples just above her perfect, reddened buttocks.