A Mate's Denial: (6 page)

Asa’s
mouth became grim. “I have my reasons.”

“Not good enough,”
Trager snapped. “In order to warn Ozarka, I have to bring my mate into this. That means I better have a damn good reason for doing that. So far, you haven’t given me one.” He didn’t have to know Trager had reasons of his own. Gabbi and Farrow.

Asa’s
eyes narrowed. “You think I’m an idiot, boy? I know you have family there, and I’m guessing you don’t want them in the middle of this.”

“I wouldn’t risk my mate for the people who threw me out.” It was true. But
Gabbi and Farrow weren’t part of that.

Hunching closer to the table,
Asa spoke low. “I owe him my life. I know he seems… hard, but his biggest problem is his heart is too big. Being an alpha didn’t come natural for Cael. He did it out of spite. It was something to work for, a goal to conquer.” He shook his head before speaking again. “His love for that female is eating him alive. And if he goes through with this, he’ll just end up hurt. I’ve been protecting him too long to let that happen.”

Trager
looked to the bar to see two furious bronze eyes zeroed in on him.

“Shit,” he muttered.

Asa turned in time to see Cael and his man, barreling through the crowd toward them.

“Relax. It’s fine.”

Trager’s wolf growled low, already wanting to challenge rather than bow.

Cael
walked right up to them, slamming his palms down and leaning low over the table. “Who are you?”

Ignoring Buzz-cut,
Trager straightened. “Who are
you
?” He knew if he backed down now, he’d lose this battle of wills.

“You’re a wolf, in my bar. I guess that makes me your motherfucking alpha.”
Cael’s eyes skated the edge of crazy, the way they blazed.

“It’s not your bar.”

His mouth formed an evil grin. “It is tonight. You Ozarka?”

“No.”

He stood up, tossing a look to Asa before turning to his partner. “Haze, it looks like we have a new recruit to train.”

Trager
stood to his full height—which left him almost eye-level with the alpha. “I’m no one’s,” he growled. “I’m a loner, and I intend to keep it that way.”

Cael’s
gaze narrowed. “Is that right.”

Trager
nodded once.

“
Asa, explain why you’re hanging with a drifter.”

The old man sighed
. “You want the long or the short.”

Cael’s
eyes broke away from Trager to glare at Asa. “Try the short.”

“I hang with whoever I want.”

The alpha looked like he wanted to throttle someone. Lots of someones. But specifically, the graying wolf. “Give me the long.”

Asa
shrugged. “He doesn’t have a pack because they kicked him out when the Elders had a vision that his mate would reject him. Sound familiar? I was talking to him about joining ours, but he’d rather be a lone wolf. Then you walked up with your attitude hanging out, and pretty much sealed the deal, I think.”

Seconds passed before
Cael turned back to Trager. “Your mate rejected you?” His question was quiet, almost inaudible in the noise that had resumed in the building. But what struck Trager as odd, was the fact that he didn’t seem to be judging him. Trager was used to people looking at him like he was a leper, but this wolf seemed almost… puzzled.

“Not yet.”

“And when she does?” he ground out. “What will you do then?”

The guy might as well have punched
Trager in the gut. For the past four days, he’d tried hard not to think about that scenario. Because the truth was, he didn’t know. He didn’t know what he’d do if he had to live without her.

“It’s really none of your business.” He tried for a calm tone but didn’t quite pull it off.

Cael stared at him, clearly thinking something over. Then his brow relaxed a fraction. “I think you’d better go now,” he said. “Ravendale doesn’t need your kind around.”

Yeah.
Trager was no fool. If this alpha was letting him go so easily, there was a reason for it. But that didn’t mean he was waiting around to find out. Buzz-cut looked like he was itching to teach someone a lesson.

With a quick glance at
Asa—that hopefully conveyed that he should get his ass in gear and figure out a way to stop this war—Trager brushed past the big-ass duo and made his way toward the door.

There were decisions to make, and Kerrigan didn’t have enough brain power to make them no matter how much coffee she pumped into her system.
She stared at the items she’d pulled from her kitchen cabinets, then at the two giant boxes on the floor. TRASH or KEEP. That was the question. Anything she couldn’t take with her on the plane to Alaska, would have to be shipped. Which was crazy expensive. And she wouldn’t need most of this stuff anyway until she could afford to get her own place. Until then, she’d be under good ol’ dad’s roof.

She glared at the
Keurig. It had become her enemy. Sure, it still made wonderful coffee. But ever since Saturday, it was just an ugly reminder of
him
.

Trager
. The bastard. Trager, the biker. Who set her ablaze, before discarding her with an empty promise to return. He’d seemed so… into her. Why hadn’t he come back?

Pitifully, she’
d gone to the café every morning hoping to run into him. But he never showed. He’d just disappeared like a freaking Houdini stunt or something.

Figured.

Kerrigan slid everything from the counter and put it in the TRASH box. She’d give it to a shelter or something.

What kind of person was she
? That she could be this torn up about a guy she’d barely known? But she did know things about him. She knew he was polite. More so than she was. She cringed at the way she’d spoken to him when they first met. She knew he wasn’t afraid to call her out when he thought she was being a judgmental ass. She knew he wasn’t going to shame her for wanting to eat. And she knew he found her attractive.

Or, she thought she knew that. What else was that soul-searing kiss about?

Her hands shook as she pulled more useless things from the cabinet.

She’d finally found someone who she connected with, who made her feel
good
, really good, and now…

Well, it didn’t matter because he wasn’t coming back. He’d probably just told her that so his leaving wouldn’t be awkward. Kerrigan smacked her forehead with her hand.
Of course. He was polite. He wouldn’t just up and leave. He’d promise to be back. Like effing Arnold Schwarzenegger. And just like the Terminator, he wouldn’t.

Her shoulders sank. Damn.

Staring into the cabinet was even more depressing. Going home like this sucked. Sure, Braeh was ecstatic, and her dad hadn’t seemed upset by the idea. She’d only had to listen to one I-told-you-so this time. Surely, he was saving the majority of them for when she was trapped in Alaska. But for Kerrigan, it felt like admitting failure. It felt like reaching so far for something, catching it, and then letting it slip from your fingers. It felt like a bad dream she couldn’t crawl out of.

She slammed the cabinet closed and went into the living room. Boxes littered the floor. The apartment was in disarray, half-packed and all
hot mess. Her flight left in seven days. She had exactly seven days to pack up her entire life and ship it to the top of the continent.

Instead of landing on the couch, where she wanted to sulk, she started yanking books off the shelf and shoving them in one of the many boxes. Hours passed while she cleared the shelf and her desk, and she came to a conclusion: It was better that
Trager the Bastard didn’t come back. Nothing short of a job offer could stop her from going to Alaska. At least this way, she wouldn’t have to explain things to him.

Yes, this was the silver lining to a cloud called “Dreamy
Lickable Dude Doesn’t Call Back”.

Kerrigan was sitting on her floor, sorting through pictures, when there was a quiet knock on the door. A glance at the clock told her it was nearly ten. It was probably Mrs. Marley. She like
d to do late night baking, and sometimes ran out of ingredients. Kerrigan’s kitchen was the only thing open at this late hour.

Walking to the door, she stubbed her toe on a box. “
Sh—“ she stopped herself from cursing for Mrs. Marley’s sake. She was the sweetest old lady, and Kerrigan didn’t want to upset her.

She hobbled the rest of the way to the door, and swung it open without looking, focused on her wounded toe instead.

“Hey.” The soft, gruff voice froze her. “You okay?”

Kerrigan turned to see the face that had been invading every thought for the past four days. Her mouth went dry, but she managed to squeak out a “yes”.

He looked like a dream-come-true, with his hair hanging loose over his forehead, and his leath
er jacket open to reveal the t-shirt pulled tight over his chest. Kerrigan knew she looked like crap: frizzy hair, dingy yoga pants, holey shirt… no bra. Oh, god. This was not good.

“Can I come in?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah. Sure.” She turned and left the door for him to close. “I should probably go change. If you’ll just give me a second. Have a seat if you want. There’s coffee in the kitchen if you need—“

“What is all this?”

She turned to see his troubled expression. “I’m just packing.”

“Packing?
For what?” He’d stopped in his tracks, back as stiff as a rail.

“I’m moving. My job was eliminated, and I can’t find another one, so…”

He stood there staring at her, as if he couldn’t comprehend her words. His face kept shifting from angry to confused to sad.

“Moving… away?”

She nodded.

“To where?”

Kerrigan looked away. “I’m going home. To Alaska.”

“Alaska?” His voice boomed, making her flinch. He looked like all the air had been sucked out of him with that one word.

“Yes. Alaska.”

“When?”

“Next Thursday.”

“When were you going to tell me?”
His voice was accusatory, but his face contained so much sadness, it was hard to look at. Kerrigan didn’t understand it. What the hell did he have to be sad about? He was the one who hadn’t kept his promise. Except, now he had.

“Whenever you decided to come back, I guess,” she snapped out of frustration. “It’s not like I had your phone number, or even realized you might care what I did with my life.”

He was completely silent, glaring, as seconds ticked by. Kerrigan wanted to scream. What was this? First, she doesn’t hear from him for days,
then he shows up, acting mad/sad/crazy with zero explanation. They both needed a breather.

“I’ll be back in a minute, okay, and we’ll talk. I’m going to change
my clothes.”

Kerrigan turned toward
her bedroom, but was stopped by three growled words:
“Don’t.
You. Dare.”

***

Trager was overcome with emotions, and none of them were good. His mate was
leaving
? Moving to a place more than halfway across the continent. The mere idea of her being so far out of his reach had him in a full-blown panic. His wolf wasn’t helping either. He wanted out, wanted to mark her, claim her, so she couldn’t get away.

She couldn’t move now. Not when they hadn’t even
had a chance to see what would happen between them.

The most ho
rrifying thing was, this was just a taste of what would happen in the future. This feeling, this wretched aching in his bones, it was a mere hint of what would happen if she completely rejected him.

He had to think.
Had to find a way to make her stay.

In the past, when
Trager was faced with an impossible situation, he’d relied on his animal instinct. It hadn’t failed him yet. There was only one thing to do.

Stalking to her, he wa
tched her eyes widened and lips part. His arms went around her, at the same time his mouth crushed hers in a terror-fueled kiss. Her taste was divine. Just as he remembered, but made all the more sweeter by the way she melted against him, her curves pressed against his hard planes.

Her thin, hole-riddled shirt was the only thing separating him from the body he’d been dreaming about. When she’d opened the door, the first thing he’d noticed was her breasts… and the fact
that there was no bra. God.

He ran his hands
down her back, finding the hem of her shirt. His lips worked hers slowly, firmly, as his thumb slid underneath her shirt to find her smooth skin. His hand went higher and higher, committing the sensation of her softness to memory. Just in case…

No.
He wouldn’t think like that.

He brought his hand to her hip, squeezing, kneading her flesh, before traveling upward to her ribs.

Kerrigan gasped and pulled away. “Not there,” she said, breathless. “You don’t want to touch there.”

Trager
frowned. “I want to touch
everywhere
.”

She shook her head, pulling him back to her mouth. While her hands tunneled through his hair, he continued his exploration, one hand gripping her ass, the other heading north under her shirt. He could have ripped the thing off by now, but there was something exquisitely erotic about this slow, deliberate,
almost accidental discovery.

His hand on her breast stopped their kiss
. Kerrigan’s breath caught. Trager stared into her eyes as his thumb rubbed slowly across her nipple. He felt it harden and tighten. Her teeth came down on her bottom lip, clearly holding back a moan. He didn’t want her holding back.

Push.

“I want to taste,” he whispered. He was wolf, he was man, and he wanted to lick his mate into submission.

She nodded. It was tiny, infinitesimal, but it was a
yes
.

Trager
lost all reason, pushing her against the wall, and grinding his erection into her hips. She moaned into his mouth, and he broke away to lift her shirt over her head.

He leaned back to look at his treasure.
His mate’s breasts were round and full, and tipped with tight rosebud nipples. She was perfect.

Everything he needed.

Trager
felt giddy at her beauty.

“Say something.” Her voice shook, causing his gaze to snap up.
The vulnerability in her eyes shocked him. “My… my stomach… I’m sorry. It’s… I’m sorry.”

The
hell
?

Trager
dropped his gaze to the area. But there was nothing wrong. It was soft. Rounded.

He stared into her eyes. She was blinking rapidly, probably trying not to look away. In that moment, he learned something important about her. His mate, as confident and fearle
ss as she’d proven to be, had zero confidence in her own body. She’d been treated poorly. Somewhere down the line someone had made her feel like she wasn’t good enough. Like she owed whoever undressed her, an apology.

It made him shake with anger. Made his wolf gnash for revenge…

But Kerrigan came first.

He stroked the corner of her mouth with his thumb. “You take my breath away.
You’re everything I imagined, but even better.”

Her eyes flared wide.

“That’s right. I’ve been thinking about you every day I’ve been away. You’ve haunted my dreams. I wished to see you like this, to feel you. And now that I have…” He dropped his forehead to hers, palmed her breast. “Exquisite.”

A whimper escaped as she pushed her chest harder into his hand.

He pulled her hair until her eyes lifted to his. “You will
never
apologize for your body again. Do you understand me?” He would show her how beautiful she was. She’d never doubt again.

“Yes,” she breathed.

Another
yes
. He was collecting them for that day when she said
no
. He wanted to remember all the yeses.

Reverently, he kissed her neck, making his way back to her breasts. When he licked one pebbled tip, Kerrigan went slack, slumping against the wall.
Trager grinned against her skin, lapping at the spot before sucking it between his lips.

She gasped.
“Trager.”

Oh, yes.
His name from her lips. He slammed his mouth to hers, tongue taking, taking, and giving.

“This. This is why I stayed away. I didn’t want to rush things. But with you, I’m desperate. I can’t control myself. How do you do this to me? Make me crazy?”

She shrugged, kissing him back just as fiercely. “Dunno. Same way you make me crazy?” She skimmed her hand down his chest, her fingers curling. “This isn’t how I do things. I’m careful. I’m… I’m…”

Yeah. He wanted to wipe that careful streak right out. He wanted to make her as reckless for him as he was for her.

“Your bed, where is it?” Nibbling at her earlobe distracted her from answering, so he paused.

“Um, door on the left.”

In one smooth move, he’d lifted her into his arms and started for the room.

“Whoa! Wait. You can’t c
arry me.” She stiffened.

“I can, and I am.
”

He laid her on the bed before yanking his shirt over his head and removing his shoes.
He left his jeans on even though they were squeezing him too tightly. Judging by her expression, she liked what she saw. He kneeled beside her, on the bed, running his palms all over her exposed skin.