A Matter of Trust: London Calling Book One (15 page)

He hadn’t even asked about Dominic. Who or what he was to her.

She’d been prepared to apologize. Argue first. Accuse him of jumping to conclusions. Then concede how badly things might have looked, ask forgiveness, and have fun making amends. Fool that she was, she’d believed him when he’d said they were starting something new. A relationship. She never thought a simple misunderstanding would derail them so quickly.

He’d said it was a beginning.

With a sinking stomach, she realized she was in deeper than she thought.

 
She
wanted
him to care.
Needed
him to want her enough to fix this. But he couldn’t. Something had happened a long time ago; an old bruise that shuttered his eyes, barricaded his heart, and closed him away from her.

She wouldn’t pick at him, opening a wound that clearly hadn’t healed. She deserved better, for one thing. And he should heal himself, come to someone whole on his own someday.
 

Someone equal to him.

His talking about her place, and his, had smarted. She fully understood he was the boss, she the employee. But the differences keeping them apart went far deeper.
 

She’d been deluded for a brief time, giddy from their evening, thinking she could talk to him. Share her past. First by talking about Dominic, and then the rest of her family. Herself. But he’d reminded her, unintentionally yet forcefully, of what was important. And what she couldn’t forget again.
 

I can never have Bennett Sterling.
 

A small gasp escaped. It was getting harder, not easier to repeat the mantra she’d enlisted all those weeks ago. Was she in love with him?

No.
 

She refused the idea. With pain filled eyes, she looked down at the stairs where she sat, seeing where her tears spattered the concrete. She so rarely cried; it disoriented her for a second. Then she sobered, straightening.
 

No. She had been falling for him.

Pausing, she accepted that, knowing it for the terrible error it was.
 

Because he doesn’t love me. He couldn’t for one thing. And he wouldn’t. He was clear about that.

Devon sat until her legs began to tingle, numb from the prolonged inactivity. Her tears dried, although her lungs ached with what she hadn’t shed. But now wasn’t the time to overthink any more than she had already. There wasn’t any point.
 

It wouldn’t change anything.

Just as she had a right to her own feelings, Bennett had a right to his. No matter how painful, and how difficult, she must accept that. Mustering up her spirit, she rose, straightening her stiff body.
 

Things could be worse. Bennett
hadn’t
asked any questions. And she’d offered no excuses, no explanations. At least she could salvage her pride, bruised though it may be. After all, Bennett probably thought she was involved with the man who’d interrupted them.
Dominic
.
 

She had to find him. She knew Dom was casually flirting with Natalie, flattering and charming her. They’d shared at least one coffee. But whatever Dom’s interest in the other woman, it could only be superficial. He could end whatever he’d begun there as fast as he’d started it.
 

Devon needed him as a front, a salve to her pride. Let Bennett assume his worst about them. Dom owed it to Devon to do this. Part of this mess she was in was his fault, she rationalized. He’d been the catalyst. Now he would help her walk away with some degree of self-respect.
 

It would benefit them both. After all, Natalie was like Bennett, and they were different from people like Dominic and Devon. Their worlds might touch professionally, but never privately.
 

Yes, Dominic should leave Natalie alone. That way, Natalie could go back to where she belonged.

Just as Devon would.

***

Dominic pushed the reluctant blonde into the cab before ducking in after her, laughing. Throwing an arm around her waist, he leaned in to press a kiss to her lips but found a smooth cheek instead, cool from the outdoor autumn air. Fall had descended on London in the past weeks, charming him with its rainy gloom and soggy fallen leaves. Breathing in Natalie’s floral perfume, he nuzzled her ear and caressed the area beneath her breast, outside the gabardine trench she wore.
 

Natalie leaned back, avoiding him. “Dominic!” She softly hissed, while melting against him.

He slipped his hand beneath her jacket, chafing her nipple through the fine silk of her blouse while watching the driver to make sure his exploits went unnoticed. She whimpered, and he cut off the sound with his mouth. Moving back, he waited until she opened her eyes to look at him. “Yes?” As she flushed, he winked lecherously and pinched her hip.
 

As always, she couldn’t hold back a grin. He loved the fact he could draw out any mood, any response in her. She was fantastic.

“You’re incorrigible. But why are you rushing me into this cab?”

Sobering, he straightened. Still keeping an arm looped loosely around her shoulders, he lightly squeezed. “Because Bennett was back there. I was afraid he’d see us.”

She considered him for a long moment. “Tell me, again, why we don’t want anyone to know we’re seeing each other? Because I seem to have forgotten. I mean, we’re both single, we should be free to do as we please. Why are we sneaking around?”

Dominic knew how to take the measure of other people. He’d grown up learning how to do it and it was second nature to him now. But women would always elude perfect prediction.

Gently, he reached up to Natalie’s brow and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He let his fingers linger, caressing the sensitive area along her nape until he reached the loose chignon she favored. He didn’t muss it, as he longed to. Instead he regretfully dropped his hand to clasp one of hers.

“I told you all I could. Things got a little complicated between Devon and Bennett. She needs my support. As family. She’s like a little sister to me, Toff, for real.” Natalie dipped her chin and no longer met his eyes. He dropped his head down until he captured her gaze again.

“I mean it Nat. Devon is important to me, but as family. You have to believe that. I’m not cheating you. Since I couldn’t give you up, I kept you secret instead.” Before she could move away, he pressed his lips to hers in a quick kiss. He searched her face as he moved back, needing to know her thoughts.
 

Natalie was required to move his plan forward. She was integral.
 

When Devon had asked him to leave Natalie alone, he’d caved to her request. Devon had been so upset, more alone than he’d ever seen her. But he’d known he couldn’t, wouldn’t honor his word. The last thing he wanted was for Devon to find out he’d been seeing Natalie for weeks.

But Natalie’s face told him all he needed to know. It was time to bluff.

“If it’s this important to you, we can go talk to Devon right now. Hell, we’ll talk to Bennett too. And anyone else you can think of.” He saw relief lighten the cornflower blue of her eyes, and his stomach unknotted. “Tell you what, let’s take out an ad in one of your fancy London papers. How’s that? We’ll announce ourselves.” He brought the back of her hand to his lips.
 

Her response was immediate. “No, you idiot,” she laughed. “I’m sorry. I was having a moment, that’s all. I’m over it. And honestly, jealousy isn’t something I’m usually prone to, I promise.”

He was genuinely puzzled. “So why now?”

She blushed. “Well, you’re gorgeous, for one.” She rolled her eyes as he hammed it up, shaking his hair back and leering. “And I’m crazy about you.”
 

Dominic winked, but his stomach dropped.
 

Natalie moved closer, smiling up through her lashes at him. “Plus, you’re pretty good at sneaking around. I think you might be a rogue.” She bit his chin in a saucy tease before raising her lips for a kiss.

Dominic leaned down, meeting her mouth.
 

In seconds, all his doubts were lost in the beautiful match they made.

***

Bennett watched the cab pull away with Natalie and Dominic crouched low, laughing like conspirators. He’d suspected for more than a week now that the two might be involved, after having met Mr. Martin in the offices one day. He’d been outside Bennett’s office, with Devon nowhere in sight. Natalie had supplied the introductions, not picking up on the tense exchange between the two men. She’d been abnormally occupied with Dominic, he’d thought.

Now he knew why.

Gladness bubbled up inside him.
 

After weeks of misery and sleepless nights, he staggered in relief. Throwing his head back, he began to laugh. Devon wasn’t involved with Dominic, she never had been. He’d been so certain, positive she was another Olivia.
 

He’d been an ass. It was blatantly obvious now, but he’d been blind. He’d punished her for the sins another woman had committed. And he couldn’t have been more wrong.

Bennett set off walking. Wondering.
 

What else had he gotten wrong?

***

With a bag of groceries and bottle of wine, Bennett stood smiling on his grandfather’s stoop when Charles Sterling opened the door. Walking inside, Bennett led the familiar way back to the kitchen, taking a moment to hand his grandfather his coat before settling his purchases on the marble counter.
 

“You’re back in town, I see.”

Bennett nodded, still smiling, while he busied himself fishing out a corkscrew from a nearby drawer. Grabbing two glasses, he opened the wine and poured before answering.
 

“Yes. I’m glad to be back, wanted to catch up with you. How about a fire before I fix up dinner?” It was gloomy and damp outside, despite the midsummer season.

Bennett continued to make himself at home by crossing to the small sitting area that was nestled within a nook beside the kitchen. Taking some wood from a recess in the wall, he stacked it in the small grate. Crouching low, he lit the kindling until it caught, pausing a moment to watch the flames flicker.
 

He turned, finding that his grandfather had already taken one of the seats flanking the fire. He sat in the other before picking up his wine from the small table beside him.
 

“Now what if I’d had a date tonight?”

Bennett looked at his grandfather in surprise. He typically planned his visits, to be polite. But he’d been so caught up in his thoughts, it never occurred to him not to arrive unannounced. “Are you seeing someone?” The thought was disturbing, somehow. Surely, no one could ever replace his grandmother. Yet his grandfather deserved happiness and Rose Sterling was gone.

“No, I’m teasing. And you can take that look off your face, Bennett. I haven’t started seeing anyone. Although I’d be open to the possibility, so you must accept that.”

Bennett took a long drink of wine, staring into the fire. “I know it’s irrational, but it’s hard to think anyone could ever measure up. You’d never be satisfied, would you?”

Charles closed his eyes, as if recalling an image or memory. But when he opened them again, they were bright and lively. Quietly, he said, “We can’t stop living, Bennett. And that’s what happens when you dwell in the past. You deny the present and every possibility it offers. And the very worst crime you can commit against another person is to compare them to another. We’re all individuals, with our strengths, our weaknesses. But we
are
unique. Don’t take that away from someone.”

Bennett leaned forward, his attention sharpened on every word. Understanding dawned on his face. “You’re right. God, you’re right again, Granddad.” He relaxed, slumping back into the cushioned seat. “How did you get so wise?”

His grandfather chuckled, “I’m always telling you I know everything. You should listen. Besides, I suspect you’ve been punishing yourself for a long time now. You’ve been denying yourself, closing people off. You felt you had something to atone for, Bennett. And you never did.”

Bennett paused to take in what his grandfather was saying. It really was time he listened. “I’ve made a mess of things.”
 

Charles cocked a brow.
 

“There’s this woman. I told you a little about her, her name is Devon.” Bennett laughed, remembering the conversation. Charles had openly admired the spunk of a woman who’d throw a shoe at his grandson’s prized profile.
 

Charles immediately caught on. “Ooh, the feisty one, yes?” At Bennett’s rueful nod, he hooted in good humor. “Well done, boy! I’ve never told a living soul, but Rose bounced her purse off my skull when we were barely married. Caught me from behind, with my back turned. I’ve never seen a woman so angry when I assumed she’d be doing all the cooking and cleaning.” He clutched a hand to his stomach, guffawing.

“You mean you didn’t cook? I thought you loved it.”

“I
learned
to love it. It was that or starve, but I do enjoy it now. As you know.”

Shaking with laughter, Bennett rose to bring over the wine and top off their glasses. “I’ll be damned. That’s a great story, Granddad.”

“She was a hell of a woman, Rosie. But I want to hear more about your Devon and what you’ve been up to.” He stood, and before Bennett could protest, started unpacking the groceries. “Settle down and talk to me. I’m feeling nostalgic now for cooking and my kitchen. You sit and tell me everything I want to know.”

Love for his grandfather swamped Bennett. There was no equal to Charles Sterling, and he’d give him anything he wanted. “Well, the first thing is that she’s not
my
Devon. I’ve barely spoken with her for weeks.” At Charles’ puzzled look, he continued. “I told you I’d made a mess. It started with a misunderstanding. I jumped to conclusions, bad ones. I thought she was playing me for a fool, like Olivia had.”

“Ah.” There was a wealth of understanding in Charles’ voice.