A Measure of Love (35 page)

Noah set about showing Riley where everything was and stood on his stool at Riley’s side as Riley broke the eggs into a plastic
bowl and added milk. “Okay, you’re gonna be the head mixing man,” Riley said seriously. He cocked an eyebrow. “Are you up to the challenge?”

Noah nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! I cans mix good!”

“Excellent.” Riley handed him a silver-handled whisk and stood behind him, holding the bowl steady. “Get to it.” Noah was certainly eager to make sure the eggs and milk were whisked well, and managed to get only a little of it on himself. “I’ll give it one last mix,” Riley offered when Noah’s little arms eventually began to slow. Riley laughed when Noah leaned his back against Riley’s chest and started making vowel sounds that shook as Riley whisked the eggs and milk hard. Naturally, Riley wobbled faster, so Noah laughed louder.

The two of them spent twenty minutes mixing and whisking, and Riley even allowed Noah to pour the batter into the hot pan, watching every move of his son like a hawk. Noah asked if they could put chocolate in the batter and, unable to say no, Riley allowed him to sprinkle some chocolate chips that he’d found in the pantry.

“Hey guys.”

Riley and Noah both turned from the cooking pancakes to see a rumpled-looking Lexie standing in the doorway. Her hair was fastened back in a messy ponytail and even though she was only in a Michigan State T-shirt and gray sweats, Riley had never seen her look more perfect. He noted the red marks on her chin and neck where his beard had scruffed her and swallowed the growl that built in his throat.

“Mommy, we’s making pancakes for your breakfast in bed,” Noah explained while waving the plastic pancake flipper around. “Go back to sleep!”

Lexie smiled at Noah before she looked over at Riley. His stomach dipped, turned, and bloomed with warmth. “Hey,” he murmured with a wink, loving the pink that washed over her cheeks.

“Hey. Can I help?”

“No, Mommy,” Noah said with no little exasperation. “Sit downs!”

Riley and Lexie both chuckled before she poured them each a glass of orange juice and began setting the table with knives, forks, and syrup, as well as cutting some fruit to go with the pancakes. Riley carefully placed the cooked pancakes onto a plate and handed the plate to Noah, who, as though he was walking on a tightrope, took them to the table.

“Breakfast! Look. Riley and I mades them.”

Lexie helped him with placing the plate on the table and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you, sweetheart. How lucky am I?”

Riley sat down next to Noah and served him two pancakes. “Eat up, buddy. Best pancakes in the whole wide world.”

“
All
the world,” Noah replied, helping himself to a spoonful of strawberries. Riley stared at his son for a few beats, feeling Lexie’s gaze on him, as Noah’s words echoed around the three of them. Riley leaned over and kissed Noah’s temple.

“You’re awesome,” Riley told him. It was as close to “I love you” as Riley was willing to risk saying to Noah without confusing him, even though Riley wanted to shout it from the rooftops.

“You’s awesome,” Noah snickered around a forkful of pancake.

Riley smiled and lifted his juice, looking over its rim at Lexie. “You okay?” Lexie nodded. “Is this—are you all right? Sorry, I . . . fell asleep.” His gaze slid to Noah, then back.

She exhaled a laugh. “Don’t worry. It’s fine. More than fine. I forgot to set an alarm.” She chewed her pancake. “Besides, it was lovely to have a sleepover.”

“Cans Riley sleep over again in my room?” Noah asked before throwing a strawberry into his mouth, his face earnest. Riley smirked as he ate his pancakes, leaving Lexie to answer
that
gem of a question.

Lexie cleared her throat and shifted on her chair. “Um . . . well, I’m not sure he’d fit in your bed, honey. And he certainly can’t sleep on your floor.”

Noah and Riley looked at each other and laughed. “You’s silly, Mommy.”

“Yeah, Mommy,” Riley commented with a snort. “You’re silly.”

He only just managed to dodge the strawberry Lexie threw. “So, do you have plans for today?” she asked with a smile.

Riley shrugged. “Nothing important. You?”

She shook her head. “Jaime’s watching the store. I thought we could hang out. Maybe go into town. Maybe go back to Long Lake.”

Noah kneeled up on his chair, syrup dribbling down his chin. “Cans we go to the lakes and ride a boat this time?”

Riley leaned closer to Noah. “Sounds great.”

After all three of them had helped to tidy the kitchen, Lexie gave Noah permission to watch two episodes of
Dora the Explorer,
leaving her and Riley alone. Seeing Noah run off to the living room, Riley moved quickly, taking Lexie’s face in his hands and kissing her hard. Lexie gasped and grabbed the back of his head, holding him close. Riley could smell himself on her. She
smelled
of him. Fuck, she smelled of him all over her. He pushed her against the counter and began to lose himself in her all over again when the sound of Noah’s laughter from the living room brought him back to reality.

Their mouths broke apart, but their bodies remained pressed together. “I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I just had to do that.”

“Riley, don’t apologize,” she replied, running her hands down his face. She looked at him in a way that caused Riley’s knees to weaken. “God, it’s so good having you here.”

Riley kissed her again. He hugged her and buried his nose in her neck. “Listen, I need to call a cab, go home, and change.”

“I can take you.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll come back and pick you both up in a couple of hours.”

Lexie nodded. “We’ll be here.”

·   ·   ·

Back at his parents’ house, Riley showered and changed. Looking at himself in the mirror as he combed his hair, he noticed how he looked a little different, lighter somehow, less tired. Riley prided himself on being cheerful and positive, but just recently, in light of everything that had happened, he’d seemed to have lost sight of that. Now, he finally felt like himself again.

He thumped down the stairs to find his mom and dad in the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

“Just you? Where is everybody?”

“Sebastian and Dex didn’t come home until after four a.m.,” Joan answered. “They’re still in bed. Tate’s sitting in the yard with his coffee.”

“Party animals,” Riley commented with a smile as he looked out of the window to see Tate, who lifted his cup in greeting.

“At least they made it home last night,” Joan said. “Unlike you.”

Riley laughed loudly and turned to look at his mother. “Jesus, Mom, the year nineteen ninety-eight called, and it wants its conversation back.” Park snorted behind his newspaper at the same time Joan rolled her eyes.

“I was just wondering if you were okay,” she argued. “No need to be like that.”

Riley chuckled and moved to wrap an arm around his mom as he kissed her cheek. She pushed him away but couldn’t hide her smile. “I’m fine,” he told her. “Great, actually.” Joan nodded slowly. He noted the unease in her gaze. “Look, I know you’re worried,
but, honestly, Lex and I are good. We’ve talked a lot and we both want to make it work. I’m flying back to New York tomorrow, I’m sure we’ll talk more when I get back.”

Joan’s eyes lit up. “Does that mean you’ll be moving back here?”

Riley sighed. Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? He’d thought so much about how he was going to figure out being with Lexie and Noah full time, but the numbers just didn’t add up. He had some savings, and, of course his cut in O’Hare’s, although he was reluctant to cash that in and preferred keeping it as a long-term investment. He knew his parents would support him, but that wasn’t fair. Besides, he was nearly thirty years old; he had to stand on his own two feet. His parents had already done so much for him over the past few weeks.

Joan cupped his cheek. “You know we’ll help. Won’t we, Park?”

Riley’s father simply looked over at them. Riley held up a hand. “It’s all right. I promise. I’ll get my shit together and I’ll be fine. I’m sure there’s a company of some description out there who’d want me and not care that I have a record.”

Joan tilted her head and pressed her lips together. “It’ll work out, sweetheart.”

·   ·   ·

“So I’m not going to be able to come back on Friday,” Riley uttered on the phone before dropping down onto his apartment sofa and rubbing a palm across his forehead.

The slight pause before she answered alerted Riley to Lexie’s disappointment. “Is everything all right?”

“It’s the shop; two of the guys are off sick and we’re ridiculously busy, which is great, but I can’t leave Max in the shit.” He exhaled despondently. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s fine.”
There was a small smile in her voice. “I’m sad you won’t be here, but I understand. It can’t be helped.”

Riley slumped back in his seat. “Do you want me to tell Noah?”

“No need. I haven’t told him when you’re arriving. He bugs me stupid if I do: ‘Is it time yet? Is Riley coming yet?’ ” They both laughed. “So don’t worry. Do you have any idea when you might be here?”

“Maybe Tuesday? I don’t know, Lex. It depends on how fast we can get these cars done.” He kicked a foot out toward his coffee table, frustrated and pissed. “I miss you both, Lex. I . . . really needed to see you.”

“We miss you, too, but you’ll be here before you know it. We’re not going anywhere.”

Riley grinned. “Is Noah there?”

“No, he’s with Sav getting some frozen yogurt. I’ll tell him you called.”

“Tell him I’ll speak to him tomorrow.”

“I will, and Riley?

“Yeah?”

“All the world.”

·   ·   ·

“Cheer up, man. You look like you finally realized Robin was Batman’s twink.”

Riley rolled his eyes at Tate’s lame-ass joke and stabbed a piece of penne pasta with his fork. “Why do I even agree to hang out with you when you’re here?” he muttered with a shrug.

“It’s my sunny disposition, obviously,” Tate deadpanned, watching a pretty waitress move past their table. “Which is more than can be said for your miserable face.”

“Leave me alone,” Riley grumbled. “Let me sulk.”

Tate chuckled. “Well, you do it so well.”

It was true. Riley had been moping for a full week. Each day he
was supposed to be in Michigan and wasn’t, felt, despite the chaos at O’Hare’s, like a fucking year, making it even more torturous being away from Noah and Lexie. He spoke to them both every day, FaceTiming and Skyping so he could see their faces, but it still didn’t fill the void in his heart. It was horrible and, honestly, Riley couldn’t figure out how it was going to change.

“You know, I could lend you some cash if you need it,” Tate offered, his face open and sincere. “I have my injury and discharge money. Pay me back when you can.”

Ordinarily, Riley would have jumped at such an offer, but he knew that a loan would only help in the short term. He needed a job, a fixed income, before he moved back to Michigan. He had a son to provide for, after all.

“Thanks, man. I really appreciate that, but I need to find some damn employment first.”

And he’d looked. Finding that there were very few mechanic jobs, he’d started putting out feelers for other things—most of which he was overqualified for, though hell, he’d try anything—but his record made it more than a little difficult to convince anyone, irrespective of his NYU degree, that he was capable and honest.

“You know, you could always bite the bullet and ask Dad,” Tate said hesitantly.

Riley shook his head. “Dad can’t afford to lend me money any more than—”

“I don’t mean to lend you money, Ri. I mean for work.”

Riley paused for a brief moment and swallowed his forkful of food. He exhaled and rubbed the spot between his eyebrows, which had been throbbing a lot lately. “He doesn’t want me working for the business, Tate. That ship sailed long ago.”

“Have you asked?”

“I don’t have to,” Riley replied. “I’ve been flying back and forth for months, and he still barely utters six words to me at a time.”

“Stubborn old man,” Tate grumbled. “It was always the plan years ago: having you take over when he retired. He
needs
someone like you there, someone who truly knows the business inside out, especially now that he’s under doctor’s orders to take it easy.”

Riley was in full agreement, but he knew damned well that his father would never offer him a position at his business after Riley had let him down so badly with being sent to Kill. Riley knew Park and, while his mother considered it unnecessary to keep punishing Riley for his stupid decisions, the man could hold a grudge like it was his job.

“If I’m still struggling for something at the end of the month, I’ll ask,” Riley offered, even though the thought alone made his stomach roil. “He can only say no, right?”

“Right,” Tate agreed through a mouthful of bread. “So you’re definitely going to make a go of it with Lex, huh?”

Riley nodded. “When I’m with the two of them I feel like I belong, ya know? It makes sense.”

Tate nodded, appearing happy for his brother. “You deserve to be happy, Ri. Just make sure she treats you right.”

Riley nodded. “I will. It feels different this time. Like the timing is just right. Who would have thought six months ago I’d be going back to Michigan to be with Lexie and my son.”

Tate coughed a laugh. “Not I, man. Not I.”

“It blows my mind.”

“And Noah knows who you are now?”

“Not yet. Lexie and I had planned to sit him down and explain, but with me not being there it could be fucking Christmas at this point.”

“It all happens for a reason, dude. Roll with it.”

Riley sighed and sat back in his seat. “I’m trying.”

It was later that evening when he was on the phone with Noah that Riley relaxed a little. Hearing his son so excited his lisp made
his words bump into one another erased all the stress of the past few days and wrapped around Riley like a warm hug.

“Ands we played on the slide again!” Noah exclaimed, his voice becoming quiet, then loud, as though his mouth was moving to and from the receiver.