A Measured Risk (14 page)

“No doubt you think me unfair, demanding that you limit your consumption of claret. Nevertheless, to be brave in the way you need to be, you must learn to face your own feelings, not hide from them in drink. You are possessed of a self-destructive sort of wilfulness that I find unattractive.”

Why was she playing along with this nonsense?

He traced a fingertip between her eyes. “Don’t think so hard, just feel.”

She hadn’t realised she’d been frowning. With effort, she relaxed her face.

He caressed her hair. “Good girl.”

He bent and his warm breath blew over her cheek as he leaned over her. His familiar scent surrounded her and she wanted to turn to him and have him take her into his arms. He took one of her wrists in each hand. His touch thrilled her and, thinking her would embrace her again, she let him do what he would. However, he didn’t pull her arms towards his body. Instead, he moved them to the small of her back. “Clasp your hands here and keep your back straight. Hold this position.”

He let her hands go and she allowed them to fall apart. Why wouldn’t he hold her as she wanted?

 
He pressed them tightly together again. “Keep them clasped tightly, Nan, else I shall tie them together.”

Alarm tingled through her
,
followed by disbelief. “Tie—”

“Do not speak.” He leaned closer to her and his body brushed hers as he placed his fingers over her lips. His firm tone, his scent, his closeness all conspired to make desire flare between her legs. Wetness flowed from her sex. His fingertips brushed her lips and she couldn’t stop herself from pressing back, kissing his fingers. To her horror, she allowed her tongue to steal out and avidly lick those caressing digits. Over the steadily increasing beat of her heart, she heard the catch in his breath. But he pulled his hand away.

“This is punishment. For disobeying me about the claret.” He pointed to a framed painting of a vase of roses on the opposite wall. “Focus there. Don’t look away.”

He left her there. A moment later she heard the ropes in her bed creak as he settled on it. She felt foolish and strangely bereft without his company. It was a hard position to hold. She wasn’t used to sitting this way. Nonetheless, she held her back straight and kept her hands folded behind her back and focused her eyes on the damned painting. This was so stupid. Why the devil didn’t she just get off her knees and tell him to leave? She couldn’t explain why. It might have something to with the steady slide of her own juices down the insides of her thighs.

After an eternity, his footfalls sounded, coming towards her. The sound stopped. “All right, Nan—give me your hands.”

She turned her face to his and shot him a glare.

He reached out to her. “Now.”

An overwhelming urge to take his hands warred with the more rational voice that said to resist.

He leaned over her and reached behind her
,
then took her wrists, pulling them to her front. “Come now, on your feet.”

She allowed him to help her to stand. Her legs were weak—wobbly—and she swayed. He pressed the small of her back, forcing her to lean against his hard frame. When most of the blood had returned to her legs, he gently pushed her away from him
.

She studied his face, seeking any hint of what was going through his mind.

“Nan, when I am giving you instruction, you will keep your eyes downcast unless I say otherwise.”

Without thinking—with such alacrity that it made her feel foolish—she glanced down.

“You may apologise to me now.”

At the sound of his deep tones, her heart raced in panic. As if it mattered whether she apologised to his satisfaction or not. It didn’t. She’d done nothing wrong.

“A simple “I am sorry” will suffice,” he said.

She frowned.

“Don’t think so hard, Nan.” He gave her a sharp smack on her bottom. The irreverent gesture should have insulted her. William would never have accosted her person in such a manner. Instead, she found herself warming inside in a most disquieting way. A sweet ache blossomed between her legs and she longed to press her pelvis against his body.

“Three little words, Nan. Speak them, then think of it no more.” He stroked her buttocks and her insides melted.

“I am sorry.”

Her hand shot up and touched her lips. But it was too late. She’d already given him what he wanted. What did it mean? Did it mean she was a degree or two less her own person? A fear niggled at the edges of her mind that she’d never get back that bit of autonomy.

“Tell me.”

His question startled her. “Tell you what?”

“Tell me what is making you frown like that.”

She remained silent.

“Things will go so much more smoothly between us if you will be forthcoming with me.”

“I don’t like any of this.”

“Little liar.”

No one had called her ‘little’ in years and years. But up against his tall, powerful frame, she did feel little.

“I am not lying.”

“And you’re a liar twice over. I can smell your arousal. I can see your nipples pointed against your nightgown. I should punish you again, for lying to me. But you‘re new to this
,
between us.”

He touched the buttons on her nightdress.

She clutched at his hand. “What are you doing?”

“I want to see your body.” He began slipping the buttons undone.

Her nipples beaded harder, hungering to feel his touch
,
and the ache between her legs intensified. She bit her lip and swallowed a moan. The effort quivered through her body.

He paused with his fingers on a button. “You knew I would want this, when you left off your necklace.”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Are you tired? Do you want to sleep? Would you rather I left?”

Yes—she should plead tiredness so he would leave. However, it would be a lie. She was so overwrought that she’d never be able to sleep. Her gaze lingered on the lines of his hard face, then moved lower over his large
-
boned, leanly muscled body
,
shown to elegant perfection in his black evening clothes. She swallowed hard.

“What happens if you stay?” She asked the question more to borrow time than anything, as her heart pounded against her rib cage with indecision.

He moved behind her and splayed his hand on her stomach. The unmistakable, heated bulge of his erection pressed against her arse. “I shall begin to instruct you.”

At the words “instruct you” her internal muscles clenched and her nub pulsed, growing more erect. He moved his hand in slow, sensual circles, inching downwards. With difficulty, she forced herself to focus on what he’d just said.

What was there to be instructed in, except how to lie there? Against her better judgement, her curiosity was roused. “Instruct me?”

“Yes, I shall instruct you in how to please me.” His breath was warm against her ear. “And I anticipate you will be a very apt pupil.”

There. He’d done it again—melted all her will with mere words. Desire—to do what he wanted,
whatever
he wanted—burned through her blood like a fever.

Oh
,
dear God, give me strength.

“You’re nervous. Don’t you want to show me your lovely body?” He reached around and he slipped several more buttons loose.

“I suppose…”

He slipped another button undone. “Shall I leave or stay, Nan?”

“St—” She bit her words off as apprehension froze her tongue.

“What was that, love?” He bit at the side of her neck and hot chills raced down over her breasts, tightening their tips even further
.

Why must he insist she say it? It was hard enough to admit to herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Please stay, Jon.”

He slipped the last buttons undone and muslin and lace pooled at her feet.

She moved to cross her arms over her breasts and he captured her wrists in one hand and fitted his other into her the curve of her waist. “Stand and let me admire that which is mine.”

It was ridiculous the way her insides flipped over at his words
,
just as it was ridiculous that he must talk about every single detail and demand that she do the same. William had simply done what he pleased.

“Remember to keep your eyes cast down whenever I am inspecting you or instructing you.”

She glanced down.

“That’s a good girl. If you respond like that every time, I won’t need to punish you. I’ll do whatever is needed to help you submit to me, however, I’d rather have your willing obedience than anything else.”

An odd warmth tugged at her heart—a desire to give him what he wanted.

Ruel released her hands, gliding his fingers over the soft, round curve of her hip. Her hands fell to her sides and she stood there, her breasts rising and falling more rapidly than before.

“Turn,” he ordered.

She startled.
Her backside was definitely not her best feature. Nor were her thighs which Mama had said were far too full for current fashions. To have someone stare at her uncovered and to do so overtly was disconcerting.
Part of her wanted to argue but another part of her wanted to do what he asked.

“Turn for my pleasure—show me your gorgeous arse.”

Wetness gushed between her legs like never before in her life. She bit her lip and dropped her gaze
.

“Go on now,” he said, touching her shoulder and giving her a gentle push. She found herself going totally passive as he rotated her. She liked being handled this way, as if she were his to command.

As he continued to turn her, he backed away a little. She dared to peek through her lashes. God, he was staring at her so intently. She’d never been so exposed in her life
,
or felt so vulnerable. His eyes on her felt almost like a physical touch, making her tingle all over with a delicious mixture of apprehension and anticipation. His gaze moved slowly lower and her internal muscles contracted fiercely.

“You may look at me now, Nan.”

What was he thinking? She shifted from foot to foot as he worked his gaze slowly back up to hers, brilliant blue and as warm as the sun.

“You are first-rate, love. Something very rare.” His voice was deep, husky. It sent a warm curl of pleasure straight to her toes.

He took hold of her upper arms and turned her towards her bed. “Go and kneel for me by your bed. Take the position you did here at the door.”

She walked towards the bed, her legs going so weak that she could barely use them. She dropped to her knees and clasped her hands behind her back.

He sat on the bed and pulled her between his powerful thighs. “Legs apart.”

“
What?
” Her most private parts would be totally open to his view. He couldn’t possibly expect that. He would know how wet their exchange had made her.

He took her knees and urged her legs apart. His blue gaze held hers and she was powerless to resist. Her legs came open and his gaze dropped. A burning flush spread over her face.

“Oh
,
you’re even more beautiful than I anticipated, love.” His voice caressed her and her sense of embarrassment turned into a delicious sort of vulnerability. She shook all over
,
not from fear but from excitement. In fact, she shook so much it was hard to hold the position. He touched her shoulders, holding her up. “Are you scared?”

“No.” She barely choked the word out. Her tremors became so violent that he was the only thing holding her up.

“Cold?”

She shook her head. Lord, it was so discomfiting to be so visibly affected—especially when he remained so calm and in control.

“You’re doing fine,” he said. He was looking at her breasts.