A Memory Between Us (45 page)

Jack stared at his feet, at Ruth, at his feet again. “You think—my feet are too warm?”

“No.” She groaned and tossed the blanket back in place. How on earth could he understand when she hadn’t explained?

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just—I’m on the threshing floor. The Bible and Ruth and Boaz and—and the threshing floor.” She blew out a breath and uncovered Jack’s feet again.

“Threshing floor?” His face worked through several emotions, none of them good.

Oh no, he thought she’d lost her mind. Ruth moaned and pressed her forehead to check. Maybe she did have a few gears knocked loose.

“What’s all this—”

Ruth let out an exasperated cry and pushed herself to standing. “Of all the stupid—of all the speeches I practiced in my head, I picked this one.”

She turned to the lake and pounded her fist up and down as if shaking out a rug, as if she could shake out her mind. “Why couldn’t I just say it? Say I love you? Oh no, I couldn’t do that. That’s something a normal person would do. No. It took me months to admit to myself, even longer to admit to you, then I don’t even say it. No, I pick some—some obscure biblical reference and give you frostbite.” She spun around and flung her hand toward his poor little bare toes.

“Ruth … ?” His voice sounded scraggly.

“I know it’s too late.” She shook her fist by her ear and squeezed her eyes shut. “Charlie told me—wood and glue, and I know it’s too late, and I know I should have told you I wanted to marry you when you still wanted to marry me, and not today, not like this, not when it’s too—too—”

“Ruth?”

“I know it’s too late.” She couldn’t bear to see his anger or regret or pity, so she hurried off and scanned the banks of the lake. “I’ll—I’ll get Charlie and May. They’ll help you get back.”

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare say you love me and run away.”

Ruth smashed her good hand over her ear and picked up her pace. If only she could cover both ears. And where were Charlie and May?

“Don’t make me chase you,” Jack called. “I will, you know. I’ll hobble along on this stupid cast, and Nurse Chipmunk will skitter after me, and I don’t want her around right now.”

Why? Why would he chase her? Ruth glanced over her shoulder.

He struggled to stand up. “I will chase you. I’ll swim that blasted lake if I have to, and you know how I feel about swimming.” He took a step.

“Jack, no! You’ll fall. You’ll crack your cast.”

“So, don’t make me. Get back over here, would you?” Determination burned in his eyes across the hundred feet between them.

“Why?” What did he have to say, and did she really want to hear it?

“What was it—what did Boaz do? Didn’t he spread his garment over her?”

She gave a slow, bewildered nod. Yes, that’s what Ruth asked Boaz to do, to accept her.

Jack picked up a blanket. “You’re too far away, darling. Either you come here, or I’ll drag this blanket and come after you.”

Her lips parted, her mind parted from everything she knew. It was too late. He no longer loved her. Right? “But—but the wood—the glue.”

“Boy, was I wrong, and for the second time in a year I am glad to be wrong. Now, would you please, please get over here?”

The blanket dangled from his hand, and Ruth’s jaw dangled too. He couldn’t. Impossible. She’d shoved him away too hard, too many times, too long ago. This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t one of the responses she’d imagined when she’d rehearsed her lines.

“Please, Ruth? These are things I should whisper in your ear, not shout across a park, but I’ll shout if I have to.” Then he laughed—a deep, surprised, joyful sound. “I love you! Do you hear me, Ruth Doherty? I still love you. I never stopped loving you, and I never will.”

She stared at the man with the striped pajamas and the blue bathrobe knotted around his waist and the smile overflowing with wonder. Oh goodness, he was telling the truth. He still loved her. Now what was she going to do?

“All right, but you forced me to do this.” He shifted his weight onto his cast.

“No!” She ran toward him. “If you split your cast, you’ll never get out of here.”

“Don’t want that now, do we?” He leaned back against the tree and opened his arms to welcome and protect her, while he beamed his love and acceptance.

Ruth inhaled sharply and stopped two feet short, struck by his nearness and power. Could she do this? Did she want to?

“Do I have to create another medical emergency to get you into my arms?” He smiled that great smile, the one that always made her forget her reservations.

What good were those stupid reservations anyway? She could do this, she should do this, and oh, she wanted to do this. “You did say I like my men helpless—horizontal, bandaged, and sedated.”

Jack chuckled. “I’ll see what I can do to accommodate you.”

Ruth raised a shaky hand and rolled her fingers around the collar of his bathrobe. “Please don’t. I trust you, and I prefer you vertical and healthy and—and dressed.”

He wrapped his hand around hers. “I sure missed you.”

“I missed you too, so much.” She hadn’t stood this close to him for months, felt his warmth and seen the bright lines in the blue of his eyes. She could have if she’d let herself trust. “Oh, Jack, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh no. No, you don’t.” He gathered her in his arms and laughed over her shoulder. “I know—you’re sorry, I’m sorry. You forgive me, I forgive you. The explanations can wait. We can do that later, but not now. I want to enjoy this.”

She smiled and relaxed into his warm, sheltering embrace to enjoy the moment, the man she loved, the man who loved her.

“Did you mean it?” Jack’s voice became throaty and hesitant. He pulled back and looked at her with his eyes full, as vulnerable as the night after Charlie disappeared. “Did you mean it? About loving me and wanting to—to marry me? ’Cause you don’t have to. I won’t push—”

“Ssh.” Ruth pressed her fingers over his lips, his soft lips. She could, but not yet. First she wanted to give him her heart and her hand. “I do love you. I have for a long time. And yes, I do—I do want to marry you.”

His mouth twisted, and he blinked too many times. “Oh, darling, I can’t believe it. I can’t. I don’t deserve this.”

“No, I’m the one—”

“Don’t say it. Don’t even think it. Not about the woman I love.” Jack’s gaze caressed her, gentle and yet fiercely protective.

“Oh my.” Ruth swayed forward against his chest and tilted her face into the warmth of his breath, of his love.

He lifted the blanket up around her shoulders. “This might have been good enough for Boaz, but it’s not much of an engagement ring.” He glanced down to the cast sandwiched between them. “Guess you can’t wear a ring yet anyway.”

Never had a scratchy brown Army blanket felt so soft and warm and wonderful. “I don’t need a ring. This is—”

“Yes, you need a ring. Don’t argue.” Then mischief spread all over his face. “Here, give me your cast.”

“What?”

He motioned with his fingers. “Come on. Out of the sling.”

Ruth frowned but slid her arm out. “You sure are bossy.”

“You don’t give me a choice sometimes, my fiery friend.” Jack pulled a pen from the breast pocket of his pajamas and tucked her cast under his arm with his back to her.

“What are you writing?” She tried to look around the wall of his broad shoulders.

“Uh-uh. No peeking. Hold your horses.” The pen scratched on the surface of the cast. If only it could scratch the itching under the cast.

Jack released her arm. “Here you go.”

Over her ring finger, Jack had drawn a ring with sparkle lines radiating out. Below, in his loose, confident script, he had written, “Engagement ring on requisition, by the order of Maj. Jack Novak.”

Ruth looked up into the eyes of her major, her darling major.

He took her in his arms again, under his imperfect but capable wings, and leaned his forehead against hers. “I love you so much.”

Her throat tightened at the joy and tenderness mingled on his face. Such joy over a woman he thought he would never kiss. If she left it on his terms, he’d be content and she’d be unthreatened, but she had to, she wanted to press on, to show her trust in God by trusting Jack, by giving this dear man the love he deserved, not just the love he was willing to settle for.

Ruth ran her fingers into his hair, the soft waves she hoped their children would have. “I love you too.”

Then she gave him the last bit of herself that she had withheld, and the giving was easier and sweeter and more thrilling than she thought possible.

64

A second passed before Jack realized Ruth was kissing him, then another second while he enjoyed it, and then the third second it hit him hard.

He broke away and clutched her to his chest. “What are you—what are you doing? Darling, you don’t have to—”

“Oh, but it was wonderful.” Her voice purred into his neck.

What on earth? He grasped her shoulders. The look on her face jolted him. Her eyes formed dreamy half-moons, and her lips curved in a way he’d never seen before, without guarding or distance or fear.

“Did you notice?” she said. “I didn’t flinch. Oh, I knew I wouldn’t.”

Jack shook his head and shook it hard. “That wasn’t part of the deal, remember? I promised. And I meant it this time. I don’t need that, don’t even want it.”

Somehow she got closer and trailed her hand over his shoulder. “I know. That’s one of the reasons I love you. But I want a normal marriage. I want to have children, yours and mine.”

“No. Absolutely not.” He held her shoulders tight and leveled his gaze at her. “I would never—never ask you to do that. Never. I want you to be happy and protected and loved. That’s my goal for the rest of my life.”

“But, Jack—”

“No, Lieutenant. I won’t pull rank on you often, but on this I will. No negotiating.”

“But didn’t you notice? I didn’t flinch. I liked it. Oh goodness, I liked it. Do you understand?”

His mind turned slowly at first, a propeller building up speed until it spun into a blur. If she didn’t flinch, that meant … “But—but …”

“I saw your face, darling. Only yours. I knew I would.” She leaned in, and those smiling, inviting lips threatened to steal his resolve.

“No, you don’t.” Jack pressed back against the tree until the bark scratched the back of his head. “Keep those lips away from me.”

Ruth laughed. “I said the same thing the night you proposed.” She nuzzled her warm face into his neck and pressed a kiss under his jaw.

“Oh, wow.” His eyes slid shut. If she kept this up, he’d never be able to keep his promise. He rolled around the tree trunk and stepped to the side.

He couldn’t get the cast underneath him. Jack cried out, landed on his rear end, and flopped onto his back. Ruth tumbled down beside him. “Ruth! Are you okay?”

She laid her head on his chest and she laughed and laughed and laughed.

Jack rested in the cool grass, gazed up through the branches to the blue sky, and joined in her laughter. All those months trying to kiss her, and now he was the one running away.

“Oh, Jack. My dear, sweet Jack.” She lifted herself so her face hovered over his, and her hair swung down and swept his cheeks.

He brushed grass from her chin. She loved him. He saw it in every curve of her face, and Jack loved her too, so much it twisted things up inside him. He needed to protect her and never let anything or anyone hurt her, especially him. He caressed her smooth cheek. “Darling, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.” She ran her hand into his hair. “Besides, I’d tell you if anything bothered me.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, you would. Anything and everything.”

Ruth smiled and nodded, which made her hair stroke his cheek in a tantalizing way.

He couldn’t resist her. Why was he resisting anyway? This was her idea, not his. Jack traced the contours of her lips. “You’d take advantage of a turtle trapped on his back, wouldn’t you?”

“I’m planning on it.”

“Let’s sit up.”

She looked surprised but pushed back onto her knees.

Jack sat up and scooted over to rest against the tree. He wanted this to be respectful, not the least bit cheap or tawdry. “Come here, my little macaroon.”

Ruth came to him, into his arms, with her intoxicating mix of fire and virtue.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Absolutely sure, my big baboon.”

Oh boy, did he love this woman. He cupped her face in his hand and searched for hesitation or fear or shame but found none. Instead her eyes glowed. Even though the runway looked clear, he made a slow approach and a cautious landing. A sweet, sweet landing. Then he pulled up. He had to stop and gauge her reaction, although every part of him cried out for more of her sweetness.

Her eyelids fluttered open. “Oh darling, see? I didn’t flinch.”

Jack mumbled something, too bowled over to speak.

This time Ruth didn’t push him away. She tipped her face to him, and he molded his mouth around hers, a perfect fit, and he buried his hand in that gorgeous hair. He kept his eyes open to watch her, but she didn’t crumble. She melted.

So did Jack.

“I’m getting vertigo,” he murmured against her lips.

“Me too,” she said with a light laugh. “I like vertigo. Vertigo’s fun.”

He leaned his forehead against hers. “Too much of this, and they won’t put either of us back on flying duty.”

Something flattened her smile—something like bravery. Of course, the transfer, his stupid transfer.

Jack adjusted his arms around his—yes, his fiancée. “You know, I made a mistake on that inscription on your cast. It should read Lieutenant Colonel, not Major.”

Her gaze darted back and forth between his eyes.

He kissed the tip of her nose. “I think you’re right. I think, I think, I think I should stay.”

“But—”

“The problem with the Pacific …” He lifted one hand and spread his fingers wide. “Bugs as big as this, and the mosquitoes suck you dry. Then you have to take Atabrine to prevent malaria, turns your skin yellow.”

“You don’t have to stay for—”

“Never liked yellow much. Red—that’s what I like.” Jack fingered a strand of Ruth’s hair and winked at her. “Besides, I want to stay so I can spoon with my girl.”