A Million Kisses or More (37 page)

However, the only thing she could say for certain was that meeting her sister had taken her mind off Harrison for a few minutes. She really hoped they got to spend some time together but that really depended on Abby’s schedule. Needing to know, Ana asked, “How long are you in town?”

Abby smiled, a slow curve of her lips that was radiant with inherent sensuality. “That depends on how well we get along. If it goes well, I plan on hanging around for a while, check out a few of the local bands, that sort of thing. Tell me, how in the world were you able to get reservations here, especially today?”

Tilting her head to the side, Ana asked, “Was this a test?”

Abby shrugged unrepentantly but she didn’t answer. “Well?”

“Why does it matter?” Ana asked.

Abby’s grin widened as she said, “Today is Happy Harry’s Hump day Mystery Special.”

“Jesus, that’s a mouthful,” Nolan interrupted while Ana fought the urge to laugh at the name.

“What’s that?” Ana finally managed to ask.

“Every Wednesday, Harry creates something new and extraordinary but he only has it available for a limited time,” Abby explained. “Everyone in this town shows up so they can say they tried whatever culinary masterpiece that Harry has cooked up.
Harry’s
doesn’t take reservations so anyone can get in, the lines are absurdly long, especially on Wednesdays, and while A-listers don’t wait in line, their assistants often do. So how did you get a seat?”

Ana could feel the heat in her cheeks as she glanced at Nolan before she admitted, “I made a reservation.”

Abby stared for a moment, blinked her green eyes, and then threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, Ana, we’re going to get along famously.”

Chapter 17

Harrison stared at the phone, willing it to ring. Jolie was tucked in bed and he should be writing but instead he was waiting for Ana to call him. For some reason, the words always came easier after he got off the phone with her. It had gotten to the point that he rarely turned his computer on until after he talked with her and he knew how pathetic that made him. But if he had ever had any hope of his life returning to normal after Ana, those hopes were long gone. Every day she called him or he called her and it was like having her right beside him as they talked about everything and nothing. It was enough to hear her voice on the other end of the phone or see her face on the monitor. But then they’d say goodbye and she’d be on the other side of the universe. He didn’t realize it was possible to miss someone so much.

When the phone finally rang, he answered it much too quickly but he didn’t care because he was about to talk with her. “Ana.”

Her low, throaty chuckle eased the restless beast inside of him and he relaxed back into the chair. “Harrison. It’s good to hear your voice.”

“Yours, too,” he said, unable to think of a thing to say now that she had called. He just wanted to listen to her breathe.

She was silent for a long moment and his blood started to pound through his veins because it was the kind of silence that led to an unpleasant revelation. When he had spent the weekend with her, he had seen the subtle changes living in California had wrought in her, even after such a short time. She had glowed with self-confidence and poise and he had held onto her afraid of losing her should he let go. Leaving her on Sunday evening had nearly killed him but he had a child, a job, and he couldn’t stay.

What if she realized there was so much more out there for her? Even if she hadn’t had the benefit of being Maddox Cooper’s daughter, Ana could conquer the world. There was no limit to what she could accomplish and he couldn’t imagine her finding lasting happiness with a small town cop.

“I met my sister today,” she finally said into the silence, the words taking a moment to register because his thoughts were on the possibility of losing her.

Clearing his throat, he asked, “What is she like?”

Another weighted silence and he swore he could hear the gears working in that beautiful mind of hers. “Well, my sister is, um, Absynthe Montrose.”

Whatever he expected, it wasn’t that and his already hazy mind went completely blank. He finally said the only thing that popped into his head, “I thought your sister’s name was Abby Moore.”

“She says she uses that name to distance herself from her past,” Ana answered, not needing to say more. Even people who didn’t follow celebrity gossip knew the story of the infamous Absynthe Montrose and Harrison couldn’t fathom the idea that Ana and Absynthe shared anything, much less genetics. God, if Abysnthe took Ana under her wing, he could lose her to something far worse than another man; he could lose her to the rock and roll lifestyle of hard partying, hard alcohol, and hard drugs. In a softer voice, as if aware of his thoughts, she added, “Not everything they say about her is true, Harrison.”

He tried to keep an open mind but when it came to Ana, he found all of his protective instincts going on high alert. If she gave any indication that she felt she was in any danger, he would fly out there, pack up her stuff, and bring her home. His voice was tight as he tried to speak, “I’m sure.”

“You don’t believe me,” she said, though there was no accusation in her voice.

“I just worry about you,” he returned, the words coming out with more emotion than he expected. Heaving a sigh, he rested his forehead in his hand as he added, “I’m not out there to protect you….” He could hear her start to protest and he spoke a little louder, “I know you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself, Ana, but it’s my nature to protect those whom I love and I’m not going to apologize for it.”

“God, I can’t wait to come home to you,” she said, her words whisper soft with the deepest passion. They eased the tightness in his chest but he knew that he wouldn’t breathe easily until she was good and truly back home. Or he was out there with her if that was what their future held, even if he hated the idea of raising kids in the city. What if she decided she didn’t want children? Not that they were planning on having kids any time soon since she was only twenty-three and there was plenty of time but he had always thought he’d have more than one child.

Jesus, he had forgotten about the condom that had ripped when he was there. Clearing his throat, he carefully asked, “Um, were there any unexpected developments from the weekend I was there?”

It took her a moment to answer but she finally laughed, “No. I got my period this afternoon. I probably should have told you the moment you picked up but I was so excited about meeting my sister.”

Why was he sort of disappointed she had gotten her period? He should be glad she wasn’t pregnant but in the back of his mind was the annoying voice telling him that if she
had
been pregnant, she would be bound to him for the rest of her life. It was stupid, considering what happened with Carrie, but he never said the voice was rational. Clearing his throat, he croaked out, “That’s understandable. It has to be pretty exciting to discover you’re related to Absynthe Montrose…. Wait, does that mean Absynthe is Maddox Cooper’s daughter, too?”

“She is,” Ana confirmed and Harrison felt the dread growing in the pit of his stomach. Ana was not only the daughter of rock royalty, she was the sister of it. “You’ll adore her, Harrison. She has that slightly twisted humor that you appreciate.”

Her soft chuckle washed through him but it didn’t completely erase the fear that he would lose her to the glitz of the glamorous life her sister
and
her father promised. What could a small town cop offer in comparison to that?

“She asked me to go to Europe with her to check out a Norwegian band that is making some noise,” Ana continued, unknowingly twisting the dagger he hadn’t realized was buried in his chest. “I told her I hate to fly but she insisted I should go.”

“How long would you be gone?” he asked, the words coming out almost normally despite the desert dryness of his throat.

“I’m not going,” she said slowly, as if making sure he understood. While he heard the words, all he could picture was Ana surrounded by half naked men trying to get into her pants. If there were enough drugs or alcohol, she might forget about him and give in to temptation altogether.

“Daddy?” Jolie’s voice coming from the doorway broke through his waking nightmare, bringing him crashing back down to earth. Looking up, he saw his little girl standing just inside the door, her eyes wide as she clutched her teddy bear to her chest. “I had a bad dream.”

“Ana,” he rasped, already standing up. Ignoring the relief he felt at having an excuse to hang up when he didn’t really want to, he said, “I’ve got to go. Jolie’s had a nightmare.”

“Oh, no, I hope everything is okay,” Ana breathed, genuine concern in her voice. She hesitated and he could sense the reluctance to hang up; it was the same feeling he had. But he had a daughter he had to comfort and demons of his own to deal with. Softly, she asked, “I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, trying to pull the phone away from his ear, needing to hang up,
wanting
to hang up, and unable to do so. Jolie was looking at him with those large, brown eyes of hers and he was utterly torn. And that tore him up inside because Jolie should always be his number one priority, no matter how madly in love he was with Ana.

“I love you,” she said, the words mocking him because she said them with such conviction he hated himself for doubting her. He hated that he could see the future and the heartbreak that was in store for him.

“Daddy,” Jolie whimpered and he cringed because his daughter was here and she needed him.

“Yeah,” he murmured, either to Ana or Jolie, he wasn’t sure, as he clicked the phone off. He cringed again when he realized he hadn’t said the words back. God, he was a bastard. But he couldn’t worry about that now because Jolie was still standing there, a very important reason why he couldn’t just fly out to California and remind Ana what they had together. Of course, he was the one who needed to be reminded. Scooping his daughter up into his arms, he carried her back to her room as he asked, “What was your dream about?”

“I don’t remember,” she said, snuggling into his arms. “I just know it was scary.”

“My poor baby,” he murmured, laying her back down. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he brushed the silky strands of her hair away from her face, “Are you going to be okay now?”

“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?” she asked.

“Of course.”

Jolie pressed her lips together as she studied his face and he wondered what she was thinking. He let her figure out what she needed to say, never taking his hand away from her head. Finally, she asked, “Was that Ana on the phone?”

“It was,” he answered carefully. Something in Jolie’s voice caused the muscles in his gut to clench and after his own doubts had reared their ugly heads, he wasn’t sure he needed more.

Jolie’s lips twisted slightly as she looked away from him and said, “I don’t think I like her anymore.”

Harrison squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, hoping his heart started to beat again after it had instantaneously froze over. Forcing his voice to remain calm, he asked, “Why is that?”

“Mommy says Ana isn’t going to come back at the end of the year like she promised,” Jolie answered, tears welling in her eyes as she continued to stare at the ceiling. After a moment of silence, she turned her head and pinned him with her brown eyes. “She’s not going to come back, is she?”

How could he reassure her when he had his own doubts and worries where Ana was concerned? Mustering a smile from somewhere, he said, “She said she’ll be back, honey, and we don’t have any reason to doubt her.”

“But mommy says….”

“Your mother is just worried,” he told her, dreading to hear what else Carrie had told their daughter. God, maybe he needed to be more careful in what he told Jolie in case Ana
didn’t
return. He felt like an ass because Ana had never once wavered. But he had a child to worry about and he didn’t want Jolie to suffer if his promises turned out to be false. He wouldn’t be much of a father if he couldn’t keep his promises. What would happen if Ana never returned with the heart she stole… the heart he had so foolishly given her?

Maybe he shouldn’t reassure Jolie that Ana would be back, maybe he should let her get used to the idea that Ana might not return. He didn’t know what to do. Softly, he murmured, “Now, get back to sleep, sweetheart. It’ll be better in the morning.”

She looked at him as if she knew he was lying but thankfully she didn’t say anything. After a few more moments, her eyes drifted shut and she was soon asleep, leaving him with even more doubts than before. The urge to call Ana was fierce but he ignored it. If he talked to her, he’d want to hold her, bury himself in her, and he couldn’t, not from two thousand miles away.

Feeling a hundred years older, he pushed himself up and heaved a sigh. Standing with his hands on his hips, he gazed down at Jolie as she slept. She looked so peaceful and he loved her so much that it hurt to look at her. Rubbing his aching chest, he walked back to his office and fell back into his chair. Mindlessly, he turned on his computer and opened the Justice novel he was working on. Up until that point, he hadn’t known what Mercy was but now he knew. It was so painfully obvious, it felt as if he had always known but it had taken the fear of losing her to figure it out.

A dragon, the last of her kind.

Mercy was changing Justice, slowly but surely bringing the necromancer back to life so he could become something so much more. If only he was brave enough to accept what she was offering. If only he was brave enough to trust her.

“Take my hand, Justice,” Mercy breathed, her dragon’s eyes begging him to come with her. He turned his head and looked at the world he knew, the world she was asking him to leave. Despite the fact that his black soul burned for her, she was asking too much. If he went with her, she’d destroy him with her expectations. How could he possibly be her mate when he was barely a man?

Looking back at her, he shook his head even as his slowly beating heart twisted in his chest. “I’m sorry.”