A Moment Like This (10 page)

"What's your news, Addy?"

"Don't sound so enthused," her friend huffed playfully then squealed, "He wants more!"

"What do you mean he wants more?"

"The publisher read over your story and he wants to see more. Do you have any more chapters? This could be your big break!"

"I have a few…" Promise said, her spirits rising with her friend's enthusiasm. "I'll be able to do more since…" She fingered her ring again. "When do you need them by?"

"He'd like the next three by the end of the month. If you have more though he'd gladly take them."

She already had the three chapters done. She could write another to keep herself busy and impress the publisher. There was nothing wrong with going above and beyond expectations. It could all help her forget about Aidan, she reasoned. Maybe Mara, her boss, would give her those extra hours she had wanted her to do. Promise didn't like the idea of more hours particularly but staying busy was preferable to remembering. Anything was preferable to remembering.

Roughly a week after the Half Shell incident, Mike booted his computer and logged into IM-Loved. His personal message inbox contained three messages. Seeing two of them were from Sipofheaven he wished he'd taken the time to sign on over the past three days. However, since he'd gotten the message from Dante, he'd avoided the site. The third was from the feared offender so Michael opted to read the ones from Heaven first. Opening the first he read it, hearing Selah's trembling voice relaying every word to him.

I'm going crazy, Eden. Every time I turn around a harsh word flying behind my back I whirl to defend myself. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this. Please tell me I'm not going crazy; please lie and tell me it will be okay. I just need to hear it will all be ok…

Quelling the urge to reply immediately and respond to the second one later he forced himself to venture under the subject title of the second from his Heaven. This message seemed a bit more upbeat but there was still that lagging sense of dread and worry. The end even made him feel a bit guilty.

I smiled today, Eden, you'd be proud. A friend of mine showed up on my doorstep and demanded I go with him to a movie. I stuttered an excuse but he was determined. He scooped me up on his arms and stuffed me into his sports car. I'm ashamed to admit the sense of panic that gripped when he took me off the ground so suddenly like he did. I knew everything would be okay but I was scared…

What's wrong with me, Eden? I find I can't trust my friends anymore. I confide more in you than the others could even dream of knowing. Is that right? No, it can't be but… They see me as so strong. How can I let them down?

What do you think they would say if they knew about you? If they knew about how easily I talked to you and shunned them do you think they could ever forgive me?

So this was Selah; it was nice to meet her. Eden had a way into the real Selah Donovan like he could only dream. Eden knew everything about Selah's deepest thoughts and everything Michael had ever known about her was shaken. He'd known she was fragile under her carefree exterior but, when she spoke to Eden she was a different woman. He was Selah's best friend and Eden, the man she had never met, knew Selah better than he. Michael pondered the irony of the situation for a moment then began to formulate his reply.

You're not going crazy, Heaven. After what you've been through it's perfectly understandable what you've been through. I hate to dredge up things better left forgotten but… Has he showed up at the café since then? He has threatened you again has he? Those questions may be prying but I want to know how serious this whole thing is you know?

As for how you've been interacting with your friends… I'm sure they understand how hard this is for you. No doubt they wish you would come to them but I'm sure they're waiting on you to open up. They just want you to be happy again, Heaven. They'll wait on you though they worry. As for if they knew about me, I'm sure they'd be glad to know you're at least talking to someone and not just letting it get bottled up inside of you.

I know you don't believe it but things will get better. It will be ok, Se…

Michael paused in his writing and sighed as he backspaced the last few letters he had written. Assigning her the proper alias he frowned. Why hadn't he been forward and told her who he was before? It felt so distancing to have to refer to her as Heaven. If only… No he had no time for that. The last thing she needed right now was her only security, her trust in Eden, to be shaken. She didn't want to talk to Michael. Eden was the only person she could go to without fearing judgment and that's how things had to stay. For the time being.

Dante's message merely confirmed what Michael had suspected; he was the friend who had kidnapped Selah and taken her to the movies. However the note had a disheartened tone. He'd taken her to see her favorite genre, comedy, and she hadn't laughed. She'd barely cracked a smile. At the end of his message he briefly related Stars attempt to contact Heaven. Was it successful? Did pigs have wings?

After hitting the enter key one last time Promise leaned back in her chair and stretched. Half the month still remained but her fingers itched to type and her mind swirled with the challenge of the plot. Adelie had only asked her yesterday for more chapters but Promise thought better of procrastination. She supposed her vigorous attack on the rest could be blamed on her need to remain busy.

Sighing she let her mind wander into her fridge and pick through her supplies; its findings were dismal. Alex meowed, pleadingly as she weaved her way through Promise's ankles. When the doorbell rang the feline in question gave a questioning sound.

"Let's see who it is then we can eat." When she opened the door an expectant Alex wandered off disappointed, knowing her meal was to be delayed. Aidan, dressed casually, held a single rose colored red in his fidgeting fingers; they were the only part of him that wasn't composed.

"May I come in?"

Promise's immediate inclination was to send him packing out the door, bearing several unflattering names behind him but she bit her impatience. He didn't know he'd been caught. Just like all those years ago… "I thought…have I done something?"

Panic rose suddenly with determination; she couldn't let him see her cry. His foot stopped the suddenly closing door. "I have; please, let me in so we can talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about; I can't see you anymore."

His hand snaked around the door, his fingers settling in the boundaries of her living room. "Just five minutes, please. There must be some sort of misunderstanding."

How she wanted to believe him. As he gently pushed against the door she stepped back. Uncomfortable with the striking and sudden quiet she murmured, "I need to feed Alex."

As she wandered into the kitchen calling Alex's name she heard Aidan follow her in. "Tell me what I've done, Promise. I want to make this work."

"I…" She tucked a hair behind her ear slowly then finished opening the can. "I saw you with Shannon at the Half Shell. Don't try to deny it!"

Aidan chuckled. "I can't and won't, but as I said it's all a big misunderstanding. Shannon sought me out; she needed somewhere to stay so I helped her find a place. Surely you can't think…"

"I don't know what to think when it comes to you anymore." Promise plopped Alex's food into the feline's bowl as the hefty cat leapt onto the counter.

"Do you believe me?"

"I'm not sure."

"Can I ask for the benefit of the doubt?"

"You can ask for it." Promise wasn't sure he would get it but he could ask. When Promise cracked the fridge open Aidan pushed it shut.

"Let me take you out to lunch."

"Aidan, I really don't…"

"Please, it's the least I can do."

"I have to be home by two; I work."

"Excellent!"

Lunch was a peaceful occurrence, despite her predictions, and true to his word she stood on her doorstep, to her surprise, at the time agreed.

When she walked into work that day Desiree, who was seated at the desk, smiled at her. "Well aren't you beaming and grinning and just when we were about to send Terrible Tessie after you. We were starting to worry."

Promise picked up the schedule on the nearby counter and began to scan it ignoring the threat. "Mara has Lucille working again?"

"She was the only aid Mara could get when Anna called out at the beginning of shift. She said her daughter was sick and her husband had already stayed home with her yesterday."

"I guess that means I'm taking A side again," Promise sighed.

And the day had begun with such promise, she mused as Mrs. Helen glared at her. Extending the pills to her again she gave her reply, "What Colin gives me and doesn't give me is a personal matter, Mrs. Helen; it's not up for discussion. Now take your pills or I'll have to call off our deal. Colin was here Saturday that means you have to take your pills without fuss this week."

"That stubborn young man," Mrs. Helen began again despite Promise's warning. "I told him to take that rose he gave me and give it to you weeks ago but he won't hear it. He told me he'd give you one soon and I can tell he hasn't. The young ones just don't…"

"Told him to… Now Mrs. Helen don't you go playing match maker again. Colin and I can find out own dates. There's no use pursuing him anyway," she sighed to her own surprise, "he's got his eye on another girl. He's told me so. A fair lady in a tower of glass or something of the sort." She chuckled quietly remembering the jesting conversation they had a short time ago.

"I've seen the way he watches you; you can't tell me he's got his eye on anyone but…"

"Take your pills, Mrs. Helen or your Saturday visits from Colin will be a thing of the past." Promise held her breath, hoping that the token threat was large enough to persuade the old woman to take her pills. Reluctantly, Mrs. Helen held up her palm.

"Where's my juice? It better not be that seedy tomato juice they always give me."

"It's never had a seed in it before, Mrs. Helen."

"There's a first time for everything, Miss. Promise. First time for everything."

As the days progressed her messages only got more desperate. About five days from when he had replied to her messages he got one that made his mouse freeze mid-scurry. Reading the subject line Michael could only stare. Ducking under the heading he began to read with fervor.

He was there. Today when I came in to open the café, Haruko was planted under the awning, looking for all the world like he was going to slaughter something. When I saw him I think I nearly fainted but I forced myself to stumble into the alleyway beside the café. I wanted to cry but I was afraid he would hear me.

I had customers coming within the hour. I was already late to work. He tapped his watch several times then grumbled and walked off, kicking a nearby beer bottle into the concrete wall of the Lazy Daisy. After I was sure he was gone I slipped into the Daisy. I locked the door behind me and all I could do was collapse into the nearest booth. I didn't have time for it but I cried.

When my first customer arrived I had to scramble to get him his coffee. When my waitresses showed up I slipped into the back. I couldn't bring myself to emerge until closing time. I'm not sure I even ate lunch. I couldn't. I mean does he know this is where I work now? Was he waiting for me this morning? What if he would have seen me? What if he did see me?

I'm so scared. It hurts so much. I wish you were here.

At that moment Michael realized it wasn't Eden she needed. That's when it hit him. Selah didn't want to talk to Eden. She didn't want to talk to Dante and she didn't want to talk to him. She really didn't want to talk. What she needed was someone to be there, quietly. Her mind was running her into the ground with words. What Selah really needed was someone to be there. Not to tell her I told you so but someone just to hold her. Eden couldn't do that but he knew someone he could. Taking a reinforcing breath, he called him out.

I am. You see me everyday and pass me by. I see the pain in your eyes, Selah. It breaks my heart. I wish you would talk to me. You're not fooling any of us, Selah. We all know you're hurting but you won't come to us. We don't want to upset you by making you talk but maybe it's time one of us does.

Selah read Eden's message with a growing sense of panic. He was already there but… that didn't make sense. None of this made sense. She'd never told Eden her name and there it was plain as the sun coming over the horizon: Selah. Who wasn't she fooling? Who truly was this ShatteredEden she'd been pouring her heart out to? Why was her last security falling apart? What god had she angered?

Mind whirling, she pulled the plug and drained all her thoughts into her message.

What do you mean "I am"? How long have you been following me? How much do you know? Who are you?

Trembling, she awaited his reply.

Only what you've told me. I can't tell you who I am on here. Meet me at the Lazy Daisy and I'll explain everything. All I ask is that you come alone.

Alone?

Alone.

That Thursday when Promise came to work she was glad to have a reprieve from Mrs. Helen and the dementia unit. She had found herself scheduled there more and more the past several weeks because she seemed to be the only person who could get Mrs. Helen to take her pills. The excuses that came through were unrelated to the cantankerous old woman but everyone on the floor knew Mrs. Helen was the real reason. Those who worked the same shift she did always volunteer weeks in advance to work outside the dementia unit. When no one could be found she was the first to be penciled in.

It was a small conspiracy but one she didn't mind for the most part. Many of her favorite patients were in the dementia unit and she'd always had a way with the special cases that resided there. She could write a book on some of their lives. They truly had been some of the most amazing people.

Around dinner time, only a few hours after she started her shift, a surprised voice sounded from behind her. "Promise, when did you start working this wing again?"

Turning about she smiled up at Aidan, remembering the pleasant evening they had shared just a few nights ago. "I'm just in here today; they were severely understaffed."

"Whatever the circumstances I'm glad they occurred. I was meaning to call you this evening but I see that won't be necessary."

"Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

"Not really talk but something I wanted to ask."

"Then ask away," she responded as she served several patients their meals. Pausing by Aidan's mother she patted her hand and gave her a tender smile. She had always adored the elder woman.

"I was wondering if you were busy tonight."

"No, I don't think I am."

"Perfect! Then you're free to say, come to dinner with me?"

"Sure."

"Great! I'll pick you up at…"

Promise laughed while she went to the kitchen to get the final patient's meal. "You can't pick me up, Aidan, but you're welcome to join me here. I have to work until eleven tonight. I'm back onto my normal schedule: three to eleven." At his crest fallen look she piped, "While it's no four stars no one's died from the hospital food. Well that we can prove at least. I get off at eight for a meal break. Care to join me then?"

"I was hoping we could…" Sighing, he replied, "I'll be here."

"Great. Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. Peters seems to have spilled his drink and I must be keeping you from visiting with your mother." She bustled off to the kitchen for towel, not leaving Aidan with many options.

That evening at eight, Aidan met her down in the hospital cafeteria for a quick and unromantic dinner. While she was sure he wasn't thrilled at that prospect the fact he had come spoke to something. Once they had their meals they found a table in a relatively quiet corner. After they were settled he cleared his throat quietly as he picked up and inspected his fork. While poking the macaroni and cheese he said, "My mother was to the doctor's yesterday. They said that her heart's getting weaker and that it looks like they're running out of treatment options. They're not giving her very much time."

"How long…"

"How long are they giving her? They didn't say when they just said her heart could stop at any moment."

"I'm so sorry."

"I just… I know you were pretty close to mother and I didn't want you to read about it in some file."

Reaching across the table she stilled his fidgeting hand and clasp it in her own. "Thank you for telling me."

Turning his palm upward he gripped her fingers tightly. After a few seconds he released her hand returned to his meal. Taking a bite he swallowed and blinked. Looking down at the plate he murmured in a tone of awe, "This isn't half bad."

The doors swished open cheerfully as she entered the dementia unit the next day. After guiding Mrs. Mallon away from the entrance and depositing the woman with her husband, another patient, Promise checked in at the nurses' station to catch up on anything she may have missed in her small absence. Three yellow paper post its caught her eye. The one attached to the computer read: "keyboard not found, press any key and call the Tom…again." Promise sighed until Tom, their maintenance man, could be reached all paper work would have to be on paper once again.

Plucking the yellow flag from the critical messages board they kept on the nurses' station Promise read: "Mr. Donaldson has taken a turn for the worst. Family unreachable. Call again when shift begins". After reaching Mrs. Harlem, the patient's daughter, Promise moved onto the third and final note stuck to Mrs. Helen's file. "Refused to take all medications." Wonderful.

After settling down at the desk Promise shuffled several papers about until it was time to serve evening meal. As she rose to head down the hall, Mrs. Harlem entered the unit.

"Is my father able to take visitors? The rest of the family is one the way. How bad is he?"

Looking into her doleful, brown eyes Promise was forced to say, "It's not looking good but as of now he's stable enough he can remain here. If there are any family members you haven't contacted, however, I can let you use our phone."

"No, no I've contacted everyone. Are you the one I talked to on the phone? Your voice sounded so serious I thought it best to call everyone right up."

Nodding Promise told her she could go see her father and to ring if anything should happen. Promise was half way down the hall when Mrs. Harlem, who had headed to see her father, exploded out of his room.

"Nurse Genson, he's not breathing!"

After the ambulance had carried away a briefly revived Mr. Donaldson, Promise wrote up the paperwork and proceeded down to the lunchroom to see if any stranglers remained. The meal appeared finished but a few lone residents remained spattered about the room, talking amongst themselves or watching the small television provided. Things were calm once again.

At the end of her shift, Promise found herself at the desk once more filling out a final slip of paper before she could go home. As she reached for the patient's file a small light flickered in the alert system by the station. The room number was highly familiar. As Promise rose to make her way down the hall an aid popped her head out of room 211.

"Promise, it's Mrs. Helen. She's having a seizure."