A Moment of Weakness (3 page)

The thought frustrated her. She would have done anything to keep him at Princeton where he belonged.

Hap must have been crazy to move here in the first place, and now that he was gone, Doris had every intention of getting back to Virginia. Poor old Hap. Retired from the bar two years earlier with dreams of being a lawyer again in Portland. For a tennis shoe company of all things. And despite his history of heart problems.

No matter how many times she thought about his decision, she’d never understand. They had had plenty of money in Virginia and a reputation Hap had earned after twenty years of serving as a superior court judge. Countless social invitations, the best seats at their favorite restaurants, season tickets to the opera … they’d had everything they’d ever wanted. And of course, in Virginia they were closer to Tanner.

Hap hadn’t been concerned with any of that. His buddy Mark Westfall, another attorney, had moved to Portland three years before. Mark had played professional basketball after college and eventually took a job in the legal department of the
shoe company. It wasn’t long until Mark had convinced Hap that Portland was the place to retire. No snow, no heat, no smog. Only beautiful greenery and endless opportunities.

Doris watched the plane taxi toward the gate and sighed. Good old Mark had forgotten that greenery comes at a price. The rain had been incessant and besides, what kind of retirement was it to take on a second career? And with Hap nearly sixty years old? She’d seen the heart attack coming, even if Hap hadn’t. Too many fast-food lunches and too little exercise all heaped on a workload that seemed to grow every month.

They’d moved to Portland in November—to beat the cold Virginia winter, Hap had said. That year Williamsburg hadn’t had an inch of snow all season. Oregon, meanwhile, had record-breaking rain.

Even now, with June already here, the cursed Northwest was shrouded in clouds and drizzle. Who could jog or even walk in such a dreadful place? Hap tried it for a while, jogging in the rain. But that lasted only a month. His heart attack came just after Easter.

Now she was still in the process of settling the estate, handling Hap’s affairs and packing up the condominium. She planned to be back in Williamsburg by fall, and if she’d had anything to do with it, Tanner could have waited and seen her then. For the life of her, Doris couldn’t imagine why her son would want to spend a summer in the Northwest.

He’d explained it a dozen times. Some sort of internship program with the Kelso board of supervisors. If it were anywhere else, Doris would have been pleased with the assignment. But Kelso? Of all the places in the world, her son had chosen to take an internship in Kelso, Washington?

Of course, Kelso was still big enough that the odds of them running into each other were slim. Even if they did, Doris
doubted they’d recognize each other. Jade had moved away eleven years ago, after all.

Still … it worried her.

She remembered talking with Tanner about it last week. “Son, I don’t understand. Why Kelso?” Doris was not about to mention the fact that Jade might still live there. Tanner hadn’t brought up the girl’s name in years; certainly he had no idea that she had moved to Kelso way back when.

“I told you, Mom. I want to spend weekends with you, going through Dad’s stuff, helping you pack for the move. The board of supervisors had an internship available in Kelso. It’s near Portland. I had all the qualifications. Seemed like a perfect match to me.”

Doris tried to detect anything false in her son’s voice, but there was nothing. He didn’t remember Jade; wouldn’t look her up. The whole thing was just a coincidence.

She moved closer to the window and wondered again why she was so worried. There were thousands of loose girls prowling about for a man like Tanner—and Jade Conner would certainly be a loose girl. Just like her dreadful mother. Poor Betty Jean had never been the same after Angela Conner ran off with Bill.

But Doris had her own reasons for hating the Conner woman. Reasons no one knew anything about. Doris felt the sting of angry tears, and she banished the memories from her mind.

She would hate Angela Conner until the day she died.

Five years ago Doris got word from one of the women at the Aid’s Society that Buddy and Jade were still living in Kelso. Someone knew someone whose brother maintained contact with the family. Apparently Buddy was an unemployed drunkard, and Jade ran the streets. If that were true—and Doris was
sure it was—then there was no need to worry about Tanner. He’d never be interested in a girl who ran the streets, a girl who probably slept around, a girl with a scandalous past.

A girl whose mother had very nearly ruined their lives.

The college girls Tanner dated were virginal types, clean-cut and wholesome. Even then there had never been anyone serious. His faith wouldn’t allow it.

That was another irksome thing. Tanner’s incessant faith.

She and Hap had brought him up in the church and left it at that. A modest faith could have been an asset to his political future. Instead he’d taken to reading the Bible and quoting Scripture. He attended some crazy nondenominational church on campus and talked about God’s will this and God’s will that.

Doris hoped it was only a stage, something he’d outgrow. There was no room in public office for religious fanaticism. Especially in one who leaned as heavily to the right as Tanner did.

His obsession with religion would pass, Doris was certain about it. Just like his fascination with Jade. For three years after she moved he had asked about her and when she was coming back. Doris remembered the time when Tanner was nearly fifteen and he’d wandered into the backyard where she was weeding.

“Mama, tell me the truth. Jade isn’t coming back, is she? Not ever.” Tanner was gangly in those days, all knobby knees and giant blue eyes.

Doris had leaned back on her heels and shook the soil from her work gloves. “Why must you persist in asking such questions, Tanner? What is it about Jade? She’s been gone nearly three years.”

“I’m going to marry her one day, Mama. How can I marry her if she doesn’t come back?”

Doris remembered feeling lightheaded at the suggestion of Tanner and Jade wedded in matrimony. She had forced herself to take deep breaths. The daughter of a harlot? Doris had to stifle the anger that rose within her. “Son, you’re too young to know who you want to marry.”

“I’m not too young, Mama. I know what I want, and I want to marry Jade Conner. I decided a long time ago.”

Doris wanted to tell him the girl was worthless, trash. A weed in a garden chock full of roses. Instead she smiled warmly at the boy before her. “Well, dear, first she’ll have to move back to Virginia. And honestly I don’t see that happening.”

“I can’t remember where she moved. Where was it, Mama? Was it Washington, D.C.? Maybe I can get her address and write to her.”

Doris stopped herself before spurting out the city and state. “I’m not really sure, actually. Out west somewhere, I think.” She had resumed her gardening, loosening a weed and then pulling it out from the root.

Tanner had crossed his arms angrily. “I’m going to marry her one day, Mama. Even if I have to search the whole country and find her myself.”

An attendant announced the arrival of Tanner’s flight, and Doris blinked back her son’s words, shuddering at the memory. If anything had been an act of God, it was the fact that Jade Conner never came back to Williamsburg, Virginia.

Doris folded her hands and noticed her palms were sweaty. Her fears about the girl were irrational, weren’t they? Tanner couldn’t possibly know Jade lived in Kelso. It was coincidence, pure and simple. What could go wrong when he would only be in town a single summer? The weeks would dissolve in an instant, and then he’d fly back to New Jersey, back to Princeton
where he could prepare for his senior year.

Doris didn’t know what his first assignment would be when he graduated, but she knew it would be political in nature. He had been groomed for public office since he was a small boy. Every friendship, every activity, every article of clothing, every class, each student government office, even his role as an award-winning athlete was a line on what had become a stellar resume. She’d designed a packet on Tanner’s accomplishments midway through his junior year and touted it to all the Ivy League schools. Scholarship offers had been plentiful.

He and Hap had complained for a while, thinking Tanner would be better off at a West Coast school where he could play sports. But finally she’d convinced them. A Princeton education would be priceless. Besides, the time had come to stop playing games. Tanner had a brilliant future at hand and not a moment to waste. Now he was nearly ready. He would graduate next summer, and the climb would begin, one rung at a time.

People were streaming through the gate with that bewildered look travelers wore. She moved closer, and there at the back of the pack she saw him. He was nearly a head taller than the masses, and he drew the stares of several women in the crowd. People had always noticed Tanner. He had a magnetic quality that couldn’t be taught or trained. It was more of a birthright. As he drew closer, she saw his skin had lost the paleness of three months ago when he’d flown out for Hap’s memorial service. He had some color now, and he was taking on a more pronounced jawline.
Perfect. The public loves a good-looking politician with a strong jawline
.

He was going to look wonderful in the White House.

“Mother, you look lovely as always.” Tanner strode toward her, wrapped her in a hug, and grinned.

They made small talk, and he kept one arm around her shoulders as they headed toward the baggage department. After a few minutes, Tanner’s tone grew serious. “How are you, Mom, really? Dad’s been gone a while now. I’ve been praying for you.”

Doris squeezed him tighter. “Thanks, honey. I miss him. But we had a wonderful life. I’m glad he didn’t suffer.”

“It’s good you’re moving back to Virginia. I think you’ve had about as much of the Northwest as you can stand.” Tanner’s eyes danced as he nodded toward a wall of windows and the thick, gray sky outside. “You’ll feel better when you get back to sunny Virginia.”

“Yes …” She paused.
The sooner the better
.

Tanner was telling her something about the internship and the projects at hand, but she wasn’t really listening. She was wracked by thoughts of Jade and Tanner and Kelso, Washington … and the memory of a fifteen-year-old boy with earnest eyes insisting that one day he’d marry the girl.

Even if he had to search the whole country and find her himself.

M
IDDAY AT
K
ELSO
G
ENERAL
H
OSPITAL WAS TYPICALLY A QUIET
time, especially in the children’s unit. Most of the younger patients napped or watched afternoon cartoons; others were too sick to sit up, and they slept, usually until dinner.

But that Monday, the fourth of June, Jade Conner was at the nurse’s station reading a book for her science class at Kelso Junior College when she heard whimpering. She worked three afternoons a week as a nurse’s assistant in the children’s unit, and she could hardly wait to finish her education and begin nursing. The children needed her. They were frightened, unsure of why they were sick and wondering whether everything was going to turn out all right.

The whimpering grew louder.

“Wanna check her, Jade?” The head nurse was buried in paperwork, and Jade nodded. She stood up, tucking a strand of short dark hair back behind her ear.

“Coming, little one. I’m coming.” She worked her way across the hallway to Room 403. Shaunie Ellersby. Four years old. Recurrent kidney infections. Doctors were running tests, but there was a strong suspicion that the child’s kidneys were failing. Shaunie had been in the hospital off and on for the past six months. This time she’d been in for more than a week, and her mother had finally taken to staying home between meals to tend to Shaunie’s two younger sisters.

“Sweetie, I’m here. What’s wrong, baby doll?” Jade cozied
up next to the child and gently stroked her forehead. She knew she was Shaunie’s favorite nurse, and the two had been fast friends since the girl first got sick.

“I miss my mommy.” The little girl squeezed out the words between stifled sobs.

“Ah, it’s okay, sweetie. She’ll be here later, I promise.” Jade kissed the child’s forehead. “Want something to drink?”

Shaunie nodded, and Jade saw her sadness fade. “Apple juice.”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please?”

Jade smiled. “Okay. Be back in a minute.”

When she returned with the drink, she took her spot once more on the hospital bed beside the little girl. Shaunie took several long sips from the straw. After the third mouthful she smiled up at her. “Thanks, Jade.”

“Sure, sweetie. Hey, what say we talk for a little bit?”

Shaunie nodded. “Guess what? Mommy painted my bedroom.”

“She did?”

“Yep. Pink and white with little flowers.”

“Oh, I wish I had a room like that. Your Mommy sure is nice.”

Shaunie nodded and finished her juice. “Jade, do you live here?”

She grinned and tousled the child’s hair. “Here? At the hospital? Of course not, silly.”

“Then where do you live?”

“At home, like everyone else?”

“With your mommy and daddy?”

A twinge of sorrow seized Jade. The answer never came easily. “No, sweetie. Just with my daddy.”

Shaunie’s face scrunched up. “What about your Mommy?”

Jade felt the sting of tears and blinked them back. “I don’t have a mommy.”

Shaunie’s eyes grew wide. “Why not? Did she die?”

The child’s innocent questions rattled around in her heart like pebbles in an empty tin can. “She lives far, far away, baby doll. We never see each other anymore.”

Sadness filled the child’s face. “That’s too bad. How ’bout your daddy. Does he paint your room sometimes?”

Jade thought of her father, passed out in his easy chair, beer bottles littering the living room floor. “No, sweetie, he doesn’t. But think what a lucky little girl you are to have a brand new room waiting for you when you get home.”