A Mother's Shame (28 page)

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Authors: Rosie Goodwin

BOOK: A Mother's Shame
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By the time Saturday evening came around Kitty was in a state of high excitement. Isabelle had kindly loaned her a beautiful crinoline dress in a pale blue marbled silk and Maria had altered the waist to fit her. Now with her hair piled high on top of her head and teased into curls, the orphan girl was barely recognisable.

‘Aw, Maria, I feel like the Princess Royal at one o’ them Buckingham Palace parties,’ she breathed. ‘I just love how you’ve done me hair. Thank yer so much. It’s a shame about the shoes though.’ She lifted her skirts to scowl at her high buttoned boots. Unfortunately, her feet were at least two sizes bigger than Miss Isabelle’s, and no amount of shoving or squeezing had allowed her to get any of her dainty slippers on, so she would just have to wear her own, far more sensible boots.

‘Never mind,’ Maria said as she tweaked out Kitty’s skirts. ‘It’s not as if anyone is going to see your shoes anyway, is it? I just hope Robbie makes an effort now, with you looking like that.’

At that precise moment they heard him enter the kitchen and Kitty drew herself up to her full height. ‘Lawks!’ she squeaked. ‘This is worse than goin’ to see Miss Belle for a tongue-lashin’.’

When she and Maria entered the kitchen, it was hard to say who was the most shocked. Robbie looked astounded when he caught sight of Kitty, and she was speechless when she saw him.

There was no sign of the bushy red beard the girls had grown accustomed to, for he was clean shaven now. His hair had been neatly trimmed, and was slicked down close to his head with macassar oil. He was dressed magnificently in a smart fitted jacket, a clean white shirt with a black bow tie and – most impressive of all – a red and black kilt in what must be the McPhee clan tartan, complete with ornate sporran. He looked every inch a true Highland warrior.

‘Och, lass, you look really grand,’ Robbie said eventually, breaking the stunned silence.

‘S-so do you,’ Kitty managed to stutter. He looked so handsome and seemed to have shed years; revealing that he was nowhere near as old as they had taken him for – probably only in his late twenties at the very most.

‘Here,’ Maria said, snatching up Kitty’s shawl from the chair. ‘You might need this on the way home. It can still get chilly later on. Now be off with you and I hope you both have a wonderful time. But do take care. The tracks are so bad around here I shan’t rest until you are both safely back.’

‘You’ve no need to worry on that score,’ Robbie said proudly as he held his arm out for Kitty to take. ‘I know every pot-hole from here to Hobart so she’s in safe hands. Goodnight, Maria.’

As they left the kitchen arm-in-arm, a pang of envy sliced through Maria. Here she was, seeing Kitty off as if she was a parent when in actual fact there were only a couple of years at most between them. How she would have loved to be accompanying them with— She stopped her thoughts from going any further as she realised she had been thinking of Josh. It was different for Kitty and Robbie since they were both from the same class, but she and Josh were poles apart in society, and she knew she really must try to stop thinking about him . . . but it was so hard.

Moving to the door, she watched as Robbie helped Kitty up into the trap. The girl really did look beautiful and was positively glowing with happiness. Then she waved until they were out of sight before turning and heading off to see if Isabelle needed anything.

The next morning, Kitty was full of the night’s events and chattered on incessantly as she and Maria washed the breakfast pots together.

‘Robbie is quite a good dancer,’ she told Maria for at least the third time in as many minutes. ‘An’ by the end o’ the night I weren’t so bad either. Well, at least I weren’t steppin’ on his toes any more.’ She sighed happily as she recalled how it had felt to be swept around the dance floor in his strong arms.

‘And I hope he behaved in a gentlemanly manner,’ Maria said primly.

Kitty was instantly on the defensive. ‘Why, o’ course he did,’ she declared indignantly. ‘An’ when we got back he saw me right into the kitchen before he went to stable the horse.’

The conversation was suddenly interrupted by the bell that was left on Isabelle’s bedside table. It was such a rare occurrence for her to ring it that Maria immediately dried her hands on her apron and rushed to see what was wanted as Kitty watched her go, with a concerned look on her face.

Maria found Isabelle sitting on the edge of her bed. ‘Is anything wrong?’ she asked anxiously. ‘Are you feeling unwell?’

When Isabelle raised her head, Maria was shocked to see how ill she looked. There were dark circles beneath her eyes and her once lustrous hair hung limply about her shoulders.

‘No, I’m not ill,’ she said as she grasped Maria’s hand and clung onto it. ‘But I just had the strangest dream . . . at least, I think it was a dream and I need to tell you about it. You see, I dreamed that I had had the baby. It was a little girl and I called her Faith. Don’t you think that’s a beautiful name, Maria?’

When Maria nodded, the other girl licked her lips before going on, ‘The thing is, I’ve realised that I don’t want her to stay here in this godforsaken place. I want her to go home to England.’

‘But the whole point of us coming here was so that no one would know you had had a child,’ Maria said tactfully. ‘What would your parents say if you were to return with her?’

Isabelle suddenly appeared more her old self as she tossed her head. ‘I don’t care. But I want you to promise me that she will go home. Will you do that for me, Maria?’

A cold hand was gripping Maria’s heart now as she said soothingly, ‘Why don’t you just wait until after the child is born and then make your decision? You are not thinking straight at the moment.’

Isabelle eyed her oddly before loosening her hand and saying tiredly, ‘I think I would like some tea now, please.’

Maria hovered uncertainly for a second then headed back to the kitchen where she relayed the strange conversation to Kitty.

‘Dreams can be like that sometimes,’ the girl said. ‘Ain’t you never had one that were so real it stayed with you after yer woke up? I certainly have. But then if you’re concerned about her I could ride over to the ranch an’ get Binda to come an’ take a look at her.’

‘I think that might be a good idea,’ Maria answered, unable to shift the feeling of dread that had settled around her like a cloak. ‘But wouldn’t it be better if you walked there? You’ve always had Robbie with you when you’ve ridden before.’

‘Huh! I could ride Bessie blindfolded by now,’ Kitty scoffed as she took her apron off and smoothed her hair. ‘You get Miss Isabelle’s tea on the go an’ I’ll be back afore yer know it.’ And with that she headed for the stable-block at the rear of the homestead to saddle up the gentle old nag.

Chapter Twenty-one

‘The young missy has been visited by the spirits,’ Binda told Maria solemnly after examining Isabelle.

‘And what exactly is
that
supposed to mean?’ Maria burst out. Anxiety made her sound harsh.

The old woman’s chins wobbled as she shook her head gravely. ‘The missy is weak and not meant for this world. The spirits have come to warn her.’

Maria’s hands clenched into fists as she struggled to control her feelings. She had never heard such a load of ridiculous superstition in her entire life. ‘I think I would like a
proper
doctor to visit her,’ she told the Aboriginal woman. ‘Could you ask her uncle to get one of his ranch-hands to ride into Hobart to arrange it, please?’

The words had barely left her lips when a horse pulled up outside and a rider leaped lightly from the saddle. Seconds later Josh strode into the kitchen and asked, ‘What’s wrong? I was out on the ranch when one of the men rode out to us to say that Kitty had been to fetch Binda. Is it Isabelle?’

Maria nodded. ‘Yes. She doesn’t seem herself, although there isn’t anything medically wrong with her that I can see. She had a bad dream so I got Kitty to fetch Binda to check her over, just to be on the safe side, but she’s just been talking nonsense, saying that Isabelle isn’t long for this world. I want a proper doctor to come and see her.’

‘I see.’ Josh tapped his riding crop against the side of his leg. ‘In that case, I shall go for the doctor myself. But first I shall go in to see Isabelle if you don’t mind.’

‘Of course.’ Maria inclined her head in the direction of the passageway and Josh immediately strode away.

Binda stared at Maria sadly. ‘You have become close to the young missy, yes?’

‘Yes, I suppose I have,’ Maria sighed.

Binda gently stroked her arm. ‘It is time I moved my things here,’ she told her as she turned for the door. ‘The birthing will take place soon and you will not wish to be alone with her.’

‘But it is still some weeks until the baby is due,’ Maria pointed out.

‘Babies will come when they are ready,’ Binda answered, and with that she left to collect her things from the ranch without another word.

True to her promise, Binda arrived later that day with a little bundle of clothes. By then the doctor had already been and declared that nothing was amiss.

‘But where will you sleep?’ Maria flustered. ‘There are only three bedrooms and we have one each, although I suppose Kitty and I could always move in together.’

‘I shall be quite comfortable on the settle by the fire, missy,’ Binda assured her.

Maria was horrified. ‘But you’ll be so uncomfortable,’ she protested.

‘No. Back in my village I slept on the floor on a rush mat,’ Binda said. ‘But now that I am here, why don’t you and the other missy visit the spring?’

‘The spring?’ Maria was curious.

Binda gestured past Robbie’s homestead through the trees. ‘Take the path through the forest at the side of Robbie’s place and you will come to a clearing,’ she told her. ‘There you will find a rock pool. It is fed by a spring from underground and is good to swim in.’

Maria had never been swimming in her entire life but was too embarrassed to say so. Neither had Kitty if it came to that but she looked intrigued. When Maria appeared hesitant, Binda told her, ‘I will keep my eye on the young mistress.’

‘Come on, Maria,’ Kitty encouraged. It was still light so she hoped there would be little chance of encountering a spider or a snake.

‘I suppose we could at least take a stroll and have a peep at it,’ Maria said. In truth she was beginning to feel a little confined. ‘But I’m not promising that I shall go in, unless it’s just for a splodge at the edge,’ she warned.

The girls set off and within minutes they had found the track that Binda had told them about. The trees were thick here and formed a canopy above them as Kitty took the lead, slapping the ground ahead of her with a stick just in case there were any snakes lurking about. They seemed to walk for a long way, with Maria becoming more apprehensive by the minute, but then suddenly they reached the clearing that Binda had spoken of and they both stopped as one and gasped with pleasure. Ahead of them was a rockface with sparkling clear water cascading down it into a pool. It must be the same one they had passed on the journey from Hobson’s Bay.

‘Well, would yer just look at that,’ Kitty breathed in awe. ‘Did yer ever in yer whole life see anythin’ so pretty?’

Wild orchids grew in profusion all around the edges of the pool, reminding Maria of a picture she had once seen in a magazine.

‘I don’t know about you but I’m goin’ in fer a splash,’ Kitty told her as she sat down and began to unlace her boots.

‘But you can’t!’ Maria protested, horrified. ‘Your clothes will be wet through.’

‘No, they won’t ’cos I’m gonna strip off an’ go in in me underpinnings,’ Kitty informed her.

‘But what if someone should come and see you?’

‘Oh yes, an’ who is that likely to be then?’ Kitty scoffed.

Maria watched helplessly as Kitty undressed, flinging her clothes about in gay abandon until she was standing there in just her pantaloons and her bodice. Then with a whoop of delight, Kitty ran towards the water and, throwing caution to the winds, she leaped in. To Maria’s horror she instantly disappeared beneath the surface but as Maria raced towards her she surfaced coughing and spluttering as she trod water.

‘Crikey, I didn’t reckon on it bein’ that deep,’ Kitty laughed. ‘Why don’t yer come on in? It’s lovely an’ warm in here. Yer really don’t know what yer missin’.’

Maria chewed on her lip and dithered. It did look very enticing, she had to admit, and then as Kitty began to splash about she gave in to temptation and started to disrobe. Within minutes she was in the water too, and the girls were laughing and playing about like two children. It was good to let your hair down and feel the cleansing coolness on your skin, Maria thought, and she kicked her legs and waved her arms as she had seen Henry do in the blue lagoon back at home when they were children. It was the first time she had allowed herself to have any fun for months, and she felt thoroughly clean and exhilarated. It was only when the shadows around the pool began to lengthen that the girls reluctantly climbed out and wrung the water from their hair.

‘We’re going to get our dresses wet if we put them on over these wet underclothes,’ Maria pointed out, ever the practical one.

‘So we’ll take the wet things off an’ carry ’em,’ Kitty said. ‘’T’ain’t as if there’s anyone here to see us, is it?’ And they proceeded to do just that.

They were almost halfway back when Kitty suddenly paused to ask, ‘Did yer hear somethin’ just then?’ Narrowing her eyes she peered nervously into the trees behind them. ‘It sounded like someone followin’ us.’

‘I didn’t hear anything,’ Maria answered, but even so they quickened their footsteps and were relieved when Robbie’s cabin came into view. He was sitting outside smoking his pipe, so Maria realised that if there had been someone behind them, it couldn’t have been him.

‘Ah, so we’ve discovered the pool, have we?’ he asked with a grin.

As the girls nodded he thought how attractive Kitty looked with her hair hanging damply about her face. She was a canny little lass there was no doubt about it, and if things had been different he would have set his cap at her. But as things stood he would be doing her an injustice to even contemplate it. All they could ever be was friends, so bearing that in mind he told her, ‘The gaffer’s given me a few hours off tomorrow afternoon. Do yer fancy ridin’ into Hobart with me to look for some furniture? I’d be right glad of a female eye, so I would.’

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