A Needful Heart (20 page)

Gabe was stoic. “It’s okay, Gina. I kind of
knew this was going to happen eventually. I’ll be fine.” He hugged
her hard one last time, then followed the woman to the car.

Gina burst into tears for the first time as
the car disappeared down the block. She didn’t know what would
happen to him, and it broke her heart. Matt unbent enough to cradle
her in his arms and let her cry.

The police left and the ambulance hauled
Chuck away. He had roused and started to spout threats, which
backed up their story even more, but it was hard to feel victorious
as her life fell apart around her. Even though Matt held her, there
was a distance in him that was absolutely terrifying. More than
anything else she’d gone through that morning.

Using her cell phone, she heard him call her
parents and let them know everything was all right, and that she
would call later to fill them in on the details. Then he guided her
up the steps and into her house. In the kitchen he filled a cloth
with ice cubes and held it to her face. Then he apparently caught
sight of his still bloody hands, because he cursed and moved to
scrub them under the faucet.

“I’m sorry, Gina,” he muttered. “I shouldn’t
have been touching you with that nastiness on my hands.”

She stepped close enough to run her hand down
his back, but he pulled away. He snatched a handful of paper towels
off the roll, pulled a cleaning bottle and trash bag out from
beneath the cupboard and headed back to the front. “Matt, don’t
worry about that. I’ll get it.”

But he didn’t appear to hear her. Maybe he
was just ignoring her.

He wiped up the small pool of blood Chuck had
left behind, bound the trash bag and put it in the can outside the
kitchen door. Gina followed along behind, aware that he was going
to do what he thought he needed to do before he would relax.
Drained, she sat at the kitchen tabled and watched as he put the
supplies away. Then he stood at the kitchen sink and looked out the
back window.

There was so much brittle emotion on his
face. She was afraid to start a conversation, because she didn’t
want to bring anything to a boil, but she was afraid that if she
didn’t, she would lose Matt.

“Thank you for saving me. I never in a
million years expected him to be standing on the other side of that
door.”

Matt snorted, and his head bowed. At some
point he’d lost his hat, and the dark brown curls were mussed.

“I didn’t do anything, Gina. Just pounded the
shit out of some guy that deserved it. I guess the Calvin genes
came in handy for once.”

“Yes, they did,” she agreed. “I wish I could
have done it myself. You stopped when you needed to, though. Your
dad didn’t.”

He shook his head, still not looking at her.
“I didn’t stop because I wanted to.”

“Well, regardless, you did, and I thank you
for it.”

Bile rose in Matt’s throat as he heard her
words. When he’d seen Chuck with his hands on Gina, he had
literally seen red. He’d kicked Chuck’s ass, and she just didn’t
understand how easy it had been. For years he’d lived his life
carefully, removed from the rest of the world because he knew what
kind of vengeful monster lived inside him. That monster had LOVED
breaking the older man’s nose and jaw. It had appealed to the
animal in him to protect his woman and child, and if the same
threat was presented, he’d do it again a million times over.

But what was to keep his anger from going
wild and hurting the very ones he vowed to protect? He was hooked
on Gina bad, but what if she pissed him off at some point? Would he
lose control of his anger like he had tonight and go off on her? Or
worse, on the boy?

Redness on his wrists caught his attention.
They’d cuffed him because he looked like a criminal. Could he blame
them? The damn tattoo wrapping around his forearm certainly didn’t
proclaim him a lawyer or a doctor. But then, he’d kind of screwed
himself in having the ink put on in the first place.

Nausea turned his stomach at what he had to
do.

Gina was pale, and her fine brows were
furrowed over her eyes. The redness on her cheek wasn’t fading, and
he knew it would bruise within the next few hours and be sore as
hell. Her right wrist was cradled to her stomach.

Every mark on her was directly or indirectly
because of his actions.

“Gina, I need to go.”

Disappointment shadowed her face, and she
looked down at her feet without saying anything. When she looked
back up, her eyes swam with tears. “Okay Matt. I understand. I
guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He shook his head sharply. “I don’t think so.
The banister is done, and I’ve gone to your cook-out. I’ve done
everything I said I would.”

Her jaw slackened as she realized what he was
telling her. “You’re breaking up with me?”

Frowning fiercely, he crossed his arms over
his chest, fighting despair. “We were never together. I told you I
couldn’t give you what you wanted. I’ve had fun with you, but
that’s it.”

“So the fact that I love you doesn’t mean
anything?”

For a terrible minute he faltered, wanting
desperately to cave. How could he tell her something so precious,
something he’d never had before, didn’t mean anything? He couldn’t.
“I think you might be confused right now. Your emotions are pretty
upset with Gabe being gone and everything.”

Blue fire glared up at him. “That doesn’t
mean I don’t know what’s in my heart. I told you I loved you this
morning, before all this crap happened.” She waved her good hand at
the foyer where the battle had taken place.

Matt fought not to be swayed. “You did. But
when you have a chance to think about things, you’ll realize it was
the best decision that I left. I’m not the right man for you.”

Gina shook her head and stared at him through
dazed eyes. One tear slipped down her cheek, but she swiped it
away. “I think you’re wrong Matt Calvin. You have some crazy
thought in your head that I would be better off without you, but
that’s a load of bull.”

He shrugged and dropped his arms. “I’m not
the man for you, Gina.”

Then, before he lost it completely, he turned
and walked out the door.

Gina’s eyes burned with tears, and her head
throbbed. She’d just had two very special men ripped from her life
within the space of an hour. Her emotions were zigzagging from low
to even lower. What the hell had she done to be punished this
way?

Grabbing a paper-towel from the rack, she
blew her nose and took several deep breaths. It didn’t do any good
to break down now. The situation with Matt needed to take the back
burner. She needed to find out what could be done about Gabe.

Apparently, nothing.

Patrice called several hours later, but the
news was not good. With the new manager she had at the Department,
everything needed to be done by the letter. Gina would need to
petition the court for custody the next day. Assuming she actually
wanted Gabe to stay with her.

Gina sat back in her chair to digest the
words her friend had spoken. Of course she wanted Gabe, but would
she be the best alternative to take the child on? Flashes of
curling up on the couch and watching TV with him and stuffing his
pockets with food bombarded her. Would she do it again? Absolutely.
Did she think she could be a good influence on the child? Again,
absolutely. Did she want a child and all the responsibility they
entailed? She thought about that one for a total of about three
seconds before deciding the answer was unequivocally yes. It would
be a change for her lifestyle, but it would be for the better, for
both of them.

Patrice promised to meet her at the
courthouse the next day to file the papers. Gina called Dr.
Hamilton to let him know what was going on, and that she would need
the morning off. She told him about the incident this morning and
he readily agreed, cautioning her that she would need to secure
child care for the evenings she needed to work late. Gina promised
him she would tackle the task the next morning.

Then, emotionally drained, she dragged
herself up the stairs to take a hot bath. And allow herself to
cry.

Matt didn’t see Gina for a solid week, and
when he did catch a glimpse of her it was by chance. He was
throwing a few groceries into a cart when he saw her at the
opposite end of the aisle he was in. She was scanning juice boxes,
totally oblivious that he watched her. Standing completely still,
he traced his eyes over her. She looked good, of course, though
there were dark circles beneath her eyes.

He wanted to walk up and tell her how very
much he missed her. The truck upholstery still smelled like her,
and the night he’d broken up with her, he’d found a blue hair
scrunchy in his bed. He slipped his left hand into his pocket to
reassure himself that it was still there, then shook his head at
the sentimentality. He needed to pitch the damn thing in the trash.
Instead he flexed it around his fingers and held it tight. Gina had
been a brilliant detour in his mundane life, and if this was all he
had left of her, they could pry it out of his cold, dead hand.

George had heard through one of his cronies
that Chuck was unable to post bond, so he would be in jail until he
went to court. He had three aggravated assault charges, child abuse
charges and a raft of other things he had to account for, so
hopefully he would be away for a good, long time. Matt was glad
that the boy wouldn’t have to deal with him. He also found himself
worrying, though, too. Orphanages were not nice places. For the
heck of it he’d called Children’s Services to see if he was okay.
They wouldn’t release information to Matt, of course, because he
wasn’t a relative. He asked what the process was for filing for
adoption, then shook his head at his own foolishness. There was no
way on earth he could take in a young child like that, but he found
himself taking notes anyway.

If he knew Gina at all, she had already
applied for custody. He’d seen how much the boy meant to her, and
vice versa. The two of them would be together eventually, he had no
doubt.

He and Gina, on the other hand, were
done.

Leaving the cart in the aisle, he turned and
walked out of the store. The chain across town had a better
selection anyway. Or at least that’s what he told himself.

Gina thought she saw Matt’s big dually
leaving the parking lot when she looked out the big plate glass
windows, and her heart thudded painfully. She missed him,
desperately, and it wasn’t easing up. He’d only technically been in
her life for a week, but it had been the best week of her life,
broken wrist aside. Even though he was gruff and reclusive, he’d
tugged at her heart with his humility and doubts. But those doubts
had overwhelmed any chance of a relationship they might have
had.

In spite of what he had done to Chuck, Gina
knew Matt was a gentle man struggling with demons from his past.
The altercation had just brought all those demons howling to the
forefront of his mind.

She tried to tell herself that he had never
had a healthy, romantic relationship, so he didn’t know how to
proceed. And the thought of being vulnerable to another person was
difficult. She knew. In spite of telling him she loved him, he
walked away. Destroying her.

Her eyes burned with tears and she swiped
them away angrily. She was tired of crying over him and feeling so
whipped. Besides, she had a new son to take care of.

***

Two weeks later, Gina saw George’s name on
the patient roster for later in the day. Matt would drive him in
and she could finally talk to him for a minute. About Gabe, and
other general things. She could thank him for the locksmith he had
sent over to fix her back door after Chuck had broken in.

From behind the reception desk, she watched
as the big dually pulled into the parking lot, and Matt circled
around the hood to help George step down. Resting her hand on the
window, she tried to see Matt’s expression, but his head was tipped
down, and the ball cap shaded his face as he spoke to the elderly
gentleman. Gina hustled into the back when they disappeared from
view and debated sending one of the other girls to check on the old
man. That was cowardly, though, and she didn’t want to be like
that. So, when a space opened up in the exam area, she went out to
the reception and called George’s name. For the briefest second she
glanced at Matt and was stunned at how lean his face looked, even
covered by the light beard. The old man stepped in front of her and
smiled, taking her good arm as they walked down the hallway. The
entire time she could feel Matt’s hard eyes following her, tracing
down her back, and in spite of where they were and how they had
ended, she felt desire curl through her belly.

George was his same old ornery self, teasing
her as she took his vitals, but when she prepared to leave he
gripped her hand. “Sit down a minute, girly.”

Swallowing, she sat in the chair beside his.
“What do you need, George?”

Rheumy blue eyes squinted at her in humor. “I
don’t need anything. That boy out there does, though.”

Her eyes suddenly burned with tears. “Is he
okay?” she whispered. “He looks…”

“Like he’s had his heart broken,” George
finished. “Now, I don’t know what happened between the two of you,
but he did everything he could not to come in here with me, and
he’s been snappin’ my head off like crazy when I talk about you.
What’s going on?”

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she brushed
it away. “He didn’t want to stay with me. I told him I loved him,
but he got into that fight with Chuck and it all fell apart. It was
like he thought he was going to just snap and hurt me one day, and
he’s not like that. It made him sick when we ran into each other
and I broke my wrist. He would never intentionally hurt me.”