A Path Toward Love (27 page)

She arranged her vanilla-colored dress over her legs and waited for the ordeal to begin. Her heartbeat sputtered and spun discomfort through her chest, but that was minimal compared to the distress on Randy's face.
Oh Lord, please let me do the best thing for both of us
.

Randy cleared his throat as he inched closer. Taking her hand, he closed his eyes for a few seconds, and then with a look of determination, he began to speak in a halting voice. “Kat, I've been thinking about us ever since you returned to Birchwood. And I'm hoping you're as fond of me as I am of you. So . . . ” He hesitated for only a second. “Would you honor me by keeping company with me?” Relief swept the dark thundercloud from his face. “Nothing will make me happier than to court you, my dearest.” He laid his other clammy hand atop hers.

“Randy, are you sure this is what you truly want? We've been friends forever, so please be honest.”

He swallowed so hard his Adam's apple quivered. “Of course. I wouldn't want us to step out together if I didn't care for you. Deeply.” Yet his voice lacked ardor, so she couldn't quite believe he felt more than mild affection for her. Definitely not passion or love.

“We mustn't act too quickly,” she said, giving him a warm smile she hoped would soften his disappointment.

“We're not.”

Her heart lay in her chest like a cold, dead trout. Surely she ought to feel something grand. Happiness, satisfaction, relief—a prick of something positive.

Courtship, then an engagement followed by marriage promised to please Mama and end her own financial difficulties. She could sell the Osborne Citrus Groves to Stuart and be freed from all her responsibilities. She'd never again have to fret over payroll, winter freezes, or loans and mortgages. The temptation to accept Randy's offer grew strong, almost irresistible. But the very notion of shedding her burdens should send her spirits soaring. Instead, her mood spiraled downward.

“I'm honored,” she answered. “But I must take some time to think this through.” She rose and squeezed his palm. The poor fellow's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. He seemed to find all this quite awkward, just as she did. And he obviously faced the prospect of a possible engagement in the future with equal reluctance. But he expected her to accept his offer without delay.

Randy let out a soft groan. Annoyance pinched his mouth. “Why do you hesitate, Kat? You must have already given courtship some thought. Our mothers have been planning this for a long time.”

That's the truth of it,
she thought. “I know. I'd like to please them just as much as you would. But it's what we decide that matters, not what they want.” Or
almost
as much. “Neither one of us should bow to pressure from our parents. We must decide on our own.” Her words poured out like babble from a baby. “Courtship is a commitment of its own.” The sunshine slanted through the open sides of the gazebo, and drops of perspiration erupted on her forehead. She dabbed at her brow with a lace-trimmed handkerchief.

“It's all rather sobering, but I'm not afraid of it.” He gave her a lopsided smile. “You have never been intimidated by me before.”

She smiled back at him. “I'm not intimidated by you, silly. You know that. It's what it might mean . . .”

He studied her a second. “When will you decide?”

“Soon, I promise.” She lifted her most winning smile, but judging from his falling face, he didn't accept her evasion with even a hint of grace. Surely he wasn't really upset she'd put him off. Young ladies sidestepped these first steps toward marriage all the time. So why was he pacing across the gazebo floorboards? Bent over with his hands clasped behind his back, he resembled his dry-as-a-stick father. Would the dapper Randy
become
his father in another thirty years? Shuddering, she pushed the thought to the furthest corner of her mind.

Katherine met his petulant gaze. “You can't begrudge me a few days,” she said in surprise. “After all, this is a momentous decision.”
I should refuse him now and not wait a minute longer
. That was the right thing to do. She needed to consider this more carefully before setting her future in stone. She had to make sure no other avenues of escape were available.

He threw his head back and closed his eyes. She'd never seen him without an easy smile. “All right, Katherine. If you must have time, you shall have it. But you might find our mothers questioning why you're acting so stubborn.”

She planted her hands firmly on her hips. Her temper flared. “I'm not stubborn, I'm prudent.” Then she softened her voice almost to a whisper. “And you know I'm still recovering from Charles's death.”
Lord, please forgive me for not telling the entire truth
. Was her face as red as a radish? “I never expected to remarry—at least not for many years.”

“Surely you knew your mother would insist.” Randy narrowed his eyes, tilted his head, and scrutinized her with a large dose of skepticism. “You're not
that
naive, Katherine.” He sounded more incredulous than angry.

Where was her carefree friend with the cheerful disposition and amusing banter? His puckered brow and tight mouth registered frustration. As the only boy and youngest child in a family of many girls, the Clarkes' universe centered upon him. But how often in his life had anyone denied Randy what he wanted? Probably never. She recoiled from this side of his character lying just beneath the surface of his sunny personality.

“Perhaps I should talk this over with my mother. If you'll excuse me, I think I shall go find her.”

“Katherine, wait a moment. Please. Forgive me for acting petulant, but I'm disappointed. I didn't expect you to rush into my arms, but I did expect you to accept. My mother said you would.” His voice softened to almost a whisper. “It isn't Andrew who's stopping you, is it? Tell me you're not in love with him.”

Katherine swallowed a confession and shook her head. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she blinked them back rapidly before he detected the truth.

“Well, that's good, because if Andrew came after you, your father would fire him in an instant. And we all know how important his career is to him.” He smiled.

“Yes,” she said numbly, “I'm sure you're right.”

She'd never threaten Andrew's position at the railroad, and neither would he. It meant too much to him, and he'd worked hard to obtain it. Her father had reprimanded him for supporting her idea of designing hats. He'd certainly fire him for pursuing his only daughter without his blessing.

“So, Kat, tell me. If you know I'm right, why don't we forego all this and simply become engaged now? Why prolong your decision? It makes no sense.”

She hesitated. “As I told you, I intend to return to Florida. The most I can offer you now are the remaining weeks of summer to get reacquainted, but not formally court. Then we might better see what is ahead of us.”

He looked askance. “Surely you'll change your mind.” He paced restlessly across the gazebo floor. “About returning to Florida.” He shook his head. “Why sign on for more struggle? Why not give in to all this and enjoy it?” He waved around him.

She lowered her voice. “I'm sorry, Randy. I'm not ready to give it up. I can't.”

He studied her, disapproval coming off him in waves. She stiffened. She'd endured enough of that with Charles.

“Might you give me your answer by tomorrow?”

Katherine stood and squared her shoulders. “No, I won't keep you in limbo a moment longer. I can answer you now.” What was the point in delaying the inevitable? She couldn't continue to give him false hope. “I'm so sorry, but my mind is made up. I'll be going home to Florida in just a few weeks. Why make a commitment I know I likely won't keep? Thank you for your offer. You are most kind. But I believe it's best we remain nothing but dear friends.”

His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened with disbelief. “If you come to your senses, please let me know.” He briefly bowed, then spun on his heel and strode off.

“Off for the afternoon, Andrew?”

He heard Aunt Letty's warbling, high-pitched voice from right behind him. He halted on the walkway leading down to the pier and watched as she approached at a fast pace. Tipping his straw boater, he grinned at the endearing widow with her merry eyes and funny button nose. “Good day, Mrs. Benham. My work is done for the day and I'm off on a boat ride. Care to join me?”

He'd spoken to her only a handful of times over the course of the summer. But he found her bubbly laughter and straightforward remarks very refreshing.

She peered over the spectacles resting on the tip of her nose and smiled sweetly at him.

“I'd love some time on the water, if you don't mind taking along an old lady instead of a lovely young girl.” Her eyes squinted with mirth.

He imagined she was quite the charmer and maybe even a beauty in her day. “Please,” he said, offering his arm.

“Have you seen my dear Katherine? Perhaps she'd enjoy an outing too,” she asked as they strolled toward the pier.

Shaking his head, Andrew sighed deeply. “Her parents have
suggested
we stay apart. We're both doing our best to honor their wishes.”

“Well, you mustn't pay too much attention to them. They're well meaning, but Katherine knows what's best for her. Her parents can be quite overbearing at times.”

He grunted his agreement. But then he caught sight of Randy stalking from the gazebo, shoulders hunched, eyes cast downward. A scowl tightened every muscle in his face.

“I wonder what's the matter with him,” he mused, momentarily forgetting he wasn't alone.

“I'd wager it's Katherine,” Letty said, a smug smile on her face. She squeezed his arm. “See? What did I tell you? She knows what's best for her.”

A few moments later Katherine appeared on the bridge leading from the gazebo. Like Randy, her head was bowed and she looked troubled. But when she spotted them, she waved and headed across the yard in their direction.

“We were just heading out,” he said when she was within earshot. “Care to join us?” He held his breath, not really thinking she'd accept.

She visibly brightened. “Oh yes, that would be just the ticket.”

Only a few guide boats were left, so Andrew helped the ladies on board and then took the middle seat. Was Katherine going to explain her frown or was he going to have to guess?

Fortunately her aunt wasn't as reticent. “Do tell us why you and Randy both look so upset,” she said from the backseat.

Katherine looked to the side. “Randy asked if we could keep company, and I turned him down. I'll be returning to Florida in early fall, so there's no point to it. Don't you agree?”

“Good for you, Katherine,” Aunt Letty said. “I'd say it makes perfect sense. But undoubtedly it was difficult.”

Relief welled in Andrew's chest and throat, and he didn't trust himself to speak; he merely nodded his approval. He felt so much more optimistic than the circumstances warranted, but he couldn't help reveling in a surge of hope.

Andrew found his voice. “How'd Randy take it?”

“He was shocked and more than a little irritated with me. But he'll understand, in time. I'm sure of it. We shall get to know each other again, but not court formally. I need to take it slowly.” Katherine groaned. “But now I'll have to face Mama and Papa. They'll be furious.”

Aunt Letty dismissed her apprehension with a wave of her hand. “Of course they will. But remember, they have no right to direct your life. Your mother can be a trial, but you can stand up to her.”

“Thank you for your vote of confidence, Auntie. I'd rather confront a hungry bear than Mama.”

“Never let her intimidate you, Katherine. She doesn't mean to be bossy, but she's convinced she always knows what's best. If she'd only been born a man, she would've made a great army general.”

“I agree,” Katherine said with a giggle.

Aunt Letty continued, “Nevertheless, she has a warm spot for her family that delves deep in her heart. The trick is to bring it out.”