A Pearl for Love (11 page)

CHAPTER V

Mr.
and
Mrs.
Neill were delighted to see Catherine again, and the older woman hugged her warmly. Remembering her thoughts that she might only be loved because of Philip, Catherine felt ashamed. The Neills cared about her for her own sake, and a wave of nostalgia swept over her for what she had lost.

‘
You
’
re looking better, dear, isn
’
t she?
’
she appealed to
Mr.
Neill.

‘
You look very well, Catherine,
’
he told her gently, then picked up her case.
‘
I
’
ll take this up to your old room for you.
’

It was a weekend which Catherine was to remember because it put an end to the rather numbed feelings she had had following the loss of Philip and her mother. Now she really felt that it was all behind her.

Janie
’
s wedding brought genuine happiness to Catherine on behalf of her friend, and the final pang for what she had lost. Though her body felt vividly alive again, and that night she wept hot, silent tears into her pillow, then fell asleep exhausted.

John was meeting her off the train when she returned, and although she had come down to breakfast with shadowed eyes and slightly swollen lids, she felt composed and at peace with herself.

‘
Are you happy with the Sheridans, Catherine?
’
asked
Mrs.
Neill, obviously bringing herself to ask the question. Catherine was now better able to understand her rather retiring nature, and to meet it half way.

‘
Yes, I
’
m happy,
’
she said, after a while.
‘
Not completely happy, perhaps, but then there
’
s always something, isn
’
t there?
’

‘
And what is there in Newcastle that worries you?
’

‘
I don
’
t know
...
quite,
’
said Catherine, slowly stirring her tea.
‘
I thought it would be good to come here and look at it all from a distance, but I still don
’
t know that there
’
s anything wrong. Yet sometimes it feels as though something is brewing up, if you know what I mean.
’

Mrs.
Neill said nothing, but sat down at the table beside Catherine and reached for the coffee pot.

‘
Mr.
Sheridan seemed very keen to have you,
’
she said slowly.
‘
He arranged all your affairs here very well. We hardly had to do a thing. Are you being given
...
well, a lot of responsibility in his business? Too much, perhaps, for a girl like you?
’

‘
No, nothing like that,
’
laughed Catherine.
‘
They didn
’
t have to make a job for me, because there
’
s plenty for us all to do. But I don
’
t exactly run the show!
’

She thought of Uncle James looking worried now and again, and knew she couldn
’
t discuss his business with
Mrs.
Neill.

‘
What axe his son and daughter Wee?
’
Mrs.
Neill was asking.
‘
Are they happy to have you with them? And do you like them?
’

‘
I think so,
’
said Catherine rather slowly again.
‘
John is always charming and thoughtful, and Elizabeth sometimes
...
sometimes I wonder if she
’
s completely happy. It
’
s hard to understand Elizabeth.
’

And Michael Rodgers
?
Catherine found she could not discuss Michael with the Neills. Instead she smiled brightly.

‘
Everything is fine, really. I like handling pearls.
’

‘
Even if
“
Pearls mean tears
”
?
’

‘
That
’
s rubbish, I
’
m sure. The only tears would be if one lost them
!’

She began to tell the older woman some of her experiences at the shop, and soon they were both laughing, while Catherine helped to prepare Sunday lunch, then all three went walking round old haunts, and greeting old neighbours, before she caught her train back to Newcastle.

It would be nice to see John again, she thought idly, remembering his tall, rather gangling figure and his friendly teasing grin. John had been a good friend and his ex-
fiancée
, Rosalie Craven, must need her head examined for throwing him over like that.

And wouldn
’
t it be nice if Elizabeth would fix a wedding date? Perhaps she might ask her to be bridesmaid. But even as the thought entered
her head, more treacherous ones pushed it out. Catherine found she didn
’
t want to be Elizabeth
’
s bridesmaid. In fact, she was beginning to feel
torn
in two. She wanted the other girl to be happy, but against her will, Michael Rodgers was getting in her way. That was the cloud which was now hanging over her in Newcastle, she acknowledged honestly.

If she had any sense, she would leave the Sheridans now, before the cloud darkened and then drenched all of them.

But where would she go? A great deal of the nameless fears and insecurity she had felt after the accident, still remained with her, and Catherine didn
’
t feel brave enough to step out, yet again, into the unknown.

Nor could she go back to Perth.
Mrs.
Neill had confided that they were thinking of selling up their comfortable house, and moving to a small bungalow in preparation for retirement days. There would be no room in the bungalow for her, and she could little afford to be independent.

The future looked as darkened and cloudy as the sky, at the moment, she thought, as she watched the rather pale sun droop behind the skyline of jagged faraway hills.

At Newcastle she picked up her small case and smoothed down her pretty heather-coloured suit, bought specially for the wedding. She would look for John at the barrier.

But there was no sign of him as she stared round, then she started as a firm hand clasped her arm.

‘
Here you are at last
!
That train was damn late
...
’

She whirled round.
‘
Michael
!
’

He nodded, then reached for her case.

‘
John couldn
’
t come. I offered to pick you up instead. Are you
...
glad to be back, Catherine?
’

Yes. Yes,
’
she repeated, still bewildered.
‘
Did Elizabeth come with you?
’

‘
No,
’
he answered shortly.
‘
Nor did she mind my coming, if that
’
s your next question. Elizabeth, in fact
...’

‘
What?
’

‘
Oh, nothing. Shall we go?
’

Michael propelled her towards his car, and a moment later they were driving through the city, along broad well-lit streets, then suddenly turning off into a quiet cul-de-sac.

‘
Why are we stopping here?
’
she asked, in alarm.

‘
Why are you always so scared of me?
’
he countered.
‘
Eve
r
y time I even look at you, or smile, you shy away like a startled pony. I
’
m not such an ogre, surely
?’

She said nothing for a moment. She could hardly explain to Michael that he had a strangely deep attraction for her, and she wasn
’
t at all sure how she felt about him.

‘
I
...
I
’
m sorry,
’
she managed.
‘
I didn
’
t know that I seemed so unfriendly.
’

‘
Well, I shan
’
t labour the point, my dear,
’
he
said softly.
‘
I just thought you
’
d welcome a meal before going home, after your train journey. One of the hotels near here serves up a very fine steak.
’

‘
Oh, I couldn
’
t eat all that much
!
’

‘
An omelette then, for goodness
’
sake. What a difficult girl you can be
!’

She relaxed and laughed a little.
‘
Perhaps something in between,
’
and he helped her out of the car and locked up, then took her arm again, and she could feel the strength of his fingers gripping her.

The hotel dining room was warm and relaxing, with old oak beams, willow-patterned plates hung on white walls, and a rich red carpet on the floor.

‘
There now, don
’
t you feel hungry?
’
asked Michael, showing Catherine the menu.

She threw off her inhibitions and smiled at him. It was rather exciting to be having this unexpected outing, and she gave herself up to the enjoyment of it.

‘
It is tempting,
’
she agreed, as she chose fruit juice, followed by turbot, then decided that she would tackle the steak after all.

‘
Have you laid all your ghosts in Perth?
’
Michael asked suddenly, and she flushed, rather caught out by the question.

‘
Yes.
’

‘
You might have been happy in the life you planned for yourself, but if fate steps in and you can
’
t have it, there
’
s often something just as good along a different road.
’

‘
Perhaps that is so
.’

His face darkened, and he leaned towards her.

‘
Sometimes one is going down the wrong road before one realises it
,’
he said to her.
‘
Often it
’
s difficult to turn back, unless there
’
s a hand waiting to help
.’

She frowned. Was he talking about himself now?

The waitress came with their order and Michael sat back, glowering a little, and there was an awkward silence between them.

‘
Were you busy? Yesterday, I mean?
’
Catherine asked nervously.

‘
What? Yesterday? Oh yes. Yes, quite busy. For the moment I
’
d forgotten you were away.
’
He was silent for a while.
‘
It can
’
t last for ever, though
.’

‘
What?
’

‘
Losing business.
’

‘
Are we losing business?
’

Michael nodded.

‘
James Sheridan doesn
’
t see where the main weakness lies, because often I can cover up, but I don
’
t
think
John is ever going to learn. He makes mistakes over valuations, then the firm stands the cost of his mistakes. I know one learns by experience, but in this day and age, experience can be too dearly bought.
’

‘
I find it hard to believe
...
that John makes such serious mistakes, I mean.
’

He eyed her levelly, then in a moment he was smiling again.

‘
Maybe there
’
s no point in telling you this. Maybe I
’
m just being pessimistic. He
’
s a straight chap, doing his best. It
’
s wrong of me to criticise him, especially to you. Forget it. It
’
s just that
...
well, Elizabeth won
’
t see it either.
’

‘
Is that why you
’
ve been having differences of opinion lately?
’
asked Catherine impulsively, then drew back.
‘
Oh, I shouldn
’
t have asked that. It
’
s none of my business.
’

‘
Don
’
t apologise. I suppose you
’
d have to be as blind as a bat not to notice. It
’
s one of the reasons why Elizabeth and I are not exactly seeing eye to eye. Only one of the reasons, though. There are others.
’

Again he met her eyes squarely, and she found that her heart was beating more quickly. She didn
’
t want to know what the other reasons were, she told herself. She wasn
’
t ready to know, so she said nothing, concentrating on the well-cooked meal.

‘
I hope you soon resolve it all,
’
she said nervously.

‘
Do you, Catherine?
’

‘
And I would have thought John was very competent.
’

‘
Don
’
t go taking too much interest in John Sheridan,
’
he told her harshly.
‘
In any of the Sheridans. They
’
re people out for their own ends.
’

‘
I can
’
t imagine how they could ever make use of me for their own ends. I
’
m neither brilliantly
brainy, nor am I well endowed with worldly goods.
’

‘
I wouldn
’
t be too sure,
’
he said, very softly.

‘
I am
...
very sure.
’

‘
Perhaps they
’
re hoping that you
’
ll find something marvellous among all your father
’
s personal papers,
’
he said, in a teasing voice, though she sensed an odd sort of purpose behind it.

‘
I
’
m through with sorting out most of my stuff now, and I
’
m sorry to disappoint you. And them. I
’
ve cleaned out a multitude of old bills, and the only thing of interest was the amount my parents paid for new furniture when they were first married!
’

‘
Do the Sheridans know you
’
ve finished now?
’

Of course. Uncle James gives me advice when he can.
’

‘
I
’
ll bet he does!
’

Suddenly Catherine felt herself withdraw a little coolly.

‘
I wish you
’
d tell me straight what you
’
re hinting, Michael. Did you expect my father to have valuable stocks and shares among his papers? Or did you believe the Sheridans guilty of such a thing
?’

‘
If I said I did, you
’
d only get mad at me. But just see if their attitude towards you changes at all.
’

‘
But they
couldn’t
have thought such an unlikely thing. Uncle James knew Daddy ve
r
y well. And believe me, if he had any secret source of wealth, Mother would have known.
’

‘
Yes, I suppose she would,
’
Michael agreed, frowning again.

‘
You get such odd ideas,
’
laughed Catherine. Had he overheard some sort of conversation and completely misunderstood it?

‘
Coffee is being served in the lounge, sir,
’
the waitress told Michael, and Catherine glanced at her watch as she rose from the table.

‘
We won
’
t have to be too late, Michael,
’
she said, rather anxiously.