A Perfect Hero (17 page)

And he’d been right. Sweet, lovely Julianna, whose gentle purity made him ache inside. Her features were helpless. Haunted. She was meant to have a family, to be a mother, laughing as her little ones clambered on her lap and gathered at her feet. God, he could almost see it! She had so much to give, yet she’d shut herself away.

A man would be lucky to have her as his wife, he decided suddenly. She was staunch and stead
fast, bright and giving, her nature loving and generous.

I’m not sure I can trust any man again,
she said.

But she had trusted him. She had trusted
him.

A feeling of sheer, raw possessiveness swept over him. Yet all at once he felt he’d been seized by the throat. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even think. An unwanted voice reared up inside him. She wouldn’t trust him if she knew how he, too, had deceived her.

Closing his arms around her, he brought her up tight against his chest. With a thready little sigh, she ducked her head and buried her face against him. Dane’s lips brushed her chestnut waves. Stroking the shallow valley of her spine, he stared bleakly as the shadows crept across the timbered ceiling.

In time her body grew limp against him. Dane gathered her closer. A bitter tangle stole all
through him. He should never have laid a finger on her, for she was irresistible. Impossible! He couldn’t—shouldn’t!—risk caring for her.

But it was already too late.

When Julianna woke the next morning, Dane was already awake. Fully dressed, he sat at the table. The sight of him made her stomach knot. His sleeves were rolled up, revealing the silky dark hair on his forearms. Julianna swallowed the dryness in her throat, her gaze trickling up over the strong brown column of his neck.

Faith, but he was handsome! The sun trickled over his profile. He appeared freshly shaven, and she could not help but recall the pleasantly rough friction of his chin and cheeks dragging against her belly. The memory made her body grow warm all over beneath the coverlet—and also re
minded her that beneath the covers she was naked.

He must have felt her glance, for he looked up and smiled crookedly, a smile that made her heart turn over. “Good morning,” he said softly.

“Good morning.”

Their eyes caught and held immeasurably. It was Julianna who finally glanced away, retrieving her underclothing from the floor. Coloring fiercely, she turned her back and slipped on the garments. In light of their shocking intimacy, she
shouldn’t have been modest, but she was. Slip
ping from the bed, she donned her gown in much the same manner, then brushed her hair.

When she finally turned, it gave her a start to find Dane’s regard trained fully upon her. His ex
pression was enigmatic. What he was thinking, she had no idea. He stared at her so long and so hard she grew uncomfortable; it struck her that he seemed unusually somber.

Her fist closed on her breast. “Why do you look like that?”

He said nothing.

“Dane?” She stared at him dumbly.

What was wrong? The look in his eyes was al
most sad. Perhaps even resigned.

He scraped his chair back from the table and came toward her. His gaze drifted down to her mouth, then back up, sending memories of the previous night flooding all through her.

With an effort she calmed her racing pulse. “You rose rather early. What are you doing?” she asked curiously. Her gaze lifted beyond his shoul
der to the table. There was a pile of rags mounded there. A long metal rod lay atop them.

Her smile froze. Her breath caught.

He’d been cleaning his pistols; they lay there, next to the rags.

He bent and kissed her lightly on the lips. “Nothing that need trouble you, sweet.”

He had seen where her gaze resided. Quickly he moved. Julianna couldn’t tear her eyes away as he slipped the weapons into a small pouch.

An eerie, prickly sensation washed over her. All at once she felt chilled to the bone.

Her lips parted. Awareness washed over her like a cold rush of wintry air. “You’re going out tonight, aren’t you?”

His shoulders came up. All at once there was a marked tension in his stance.

“You are, aren’t you? The Magpie will ride again?”

He said nothing.

She gave a short, brittle laugh. “I agree, a ridiculous question.” She swept a hand at the two bulging sacks that still sat in the far corner of the cottage. “I’ve no doubt you’ve more hidden away somewhere. Isn’t that enough for you?”

His eyes flickered, his expression guarded. He resolutely maintained his silence.

“Must I ask again, sir?”

A brow climbed high. He offered a mocking smile. “Sir? Come now. Surely we’ve progressed beyond such niceties, you and I, love.”

Julianna’s temper flared. She did not appreci
ate the reminder. “You avoid the question, Dane!”

“Very well then. It would seem that no, it is not enough.” His tone was as cool as his appraisal. “Can a man ever have enough riches?”

His demeanor was one of utter calm. His mouth continued to carry the faintest of smiles. She was suddenly furious. “Why do you steal, Dane, why? Is it greed?”

Almost whimsically, he said, “What if I told you it was out of necessity?”

The way he looked at her, as if he were wholly without conscience ...Oh, but it made no sense! How had she misjudged him so thoroughly? Had desire so blinded her to all that he was?

“Do not trifle with me!” she cried.

Something flickered across his face. “It’s like a hunt,” he said suddenly. “The thrill of the chase. Exciting. Tempting fate. Braving the odds and winning—”

“It’s dangerous!”

His eyes glinted. He laughed, the wretch—he laughed! “Only if I’m caught.”

“It’s a game.” Julianna felt sick inside. She gave a shake of her head, then looked up at him. “Dane,” she said unsteadily, “would you stop if I asked you to?”

His smile faded. “What?”

“Would you cease being a robber, a highway
man—” she moistened her lips, almost afraid to give voice to the thought “—for me?”

She held her breath, held it forever, it seemed. Something that might have been regret flitted across his face, but then she heard his answer.

“You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I do. You can change, Dane. You are a good man. I know it. I
feel
it.” She had witnessed first
hand his caring, his compassion.

But now a hollow band of tightness crept around her chest. “Don’t you care that you could die?” she whispered.

He was suddenly directly before her, so close she could feel the heat of his breath. “Would you care?”

“Yes.
Yes!
” Warm, wet tears drizzled down her cheeks.

“Don’t ask that of me.” His tone was terse. “There are things you don’t know—”

“Then tell me.”

“Julianna, if circumstances were different. An
other time, another place . . . If I were not the Magpie—”

“But you are,” she whispered.

And how he wished he wasn’t! Rent clearly in two, Dane stared at her. The plan was set in mo
tion. He couldn’t stop it now.

“Please, Dane. Don’t go back. Don’t
do
this. Stop. Please stop.”

His jaw clenched. “I can’t. Julianna, I
can’t
. I can’t have what I want. Not now. I can’t change what I am—”

“You can change what you
do
. But you won’t, will you?”

His silence stretched to a vast empty void.

Julianna gave a choked cry.

His hands curled around her shoulders when she would have lurched past him. “Don’t!” A sharp denial ripped from her throat. “Please don’t touch me!”

His mouth twisted. “What, will you shoot me again if I do?”

Her breath caught. That he could even say such a thing wounded her to the core. “Oh!” she cried. “That was cruel, Dane, and you know it!”

Time swung away. Their eyes collided endlessly.

Angry pride kept her head high. She struggled to keep the hurt from her voice. “I want to leave,” she said, her tone very low.

His eyes seemed to spark. His grip tightened on her shoulders. “Julianna—”

“It’s time. We both know it. You’re well. There’s no need for me to stay.”

His hands fell away. He spoke through lips that barely moved. “Gather your things.”

An hour later, they cleared the forest and fol
lowed a track alongside a rushing stream. As she rode in front of him on Percival, her nerves were stretched thin. She could feel the rigidity of Dane’s arms about her waist. He had little to say, and Julianna knew not
what
to say. How she longed desperately for the closeness and cama
raderie that had marked these last days.

When they rode past soaring, ivy-twined gates that guarded the entrance to a small estate, Ju
lianna glanced back at the columned stone-and-brick façade of the house at the end of the drive. A wide, graceful portico guarded massive, dou
ble doors. Ahead of the circular drive a small pond glittered in the sunlight. Surrounding it were fragrant gardens abloom with brilliant yel
low daffodils.

Determined to break the stifling stalemate be
tween them, she glanced over once more. “How lovely,” she ventured. “I wonder who lives there.”

“I couldn’t say.” Dane’s reply was curt.

There was an undertone in his voice that snared her attention. It was in her mind to query him further, but the relentless cast of his mouth encouraged silence.

Percival soon clattered over a bridge. A row of stocky cottages paved the way toward the inn. Blooms of riotous spring color spilled from the flower boxes below the windows in stark contrast to her mood.

Dane reined Percival to a halt, then reached up to help her down. The yard was deserted except for a leggy hound who bounded toward them just as he swung her to the ground. Julianna couldn’t help it; a flicker of fear shot through her, and she shrank back. Dane’s grip on her waist tightened ever so slightly.

“It’s all right. He won’t hurt you.”

“I’m fine,” she said in a rush, nearly falling in her haste to be free of him. Reaching down, she patted the animal’s head. He was sniffing around her skirts. No doubt he smelled Maximilian. Maximilian... oh, she missed him so already!

She didn’t see the shadow that flitted across Dane’s features. He set her valise beside her. “I’ll go see to your ticket.”

Julianna looked up when he reappeared. “It shouldn’t be long. Regular as clockwork, so I was told.”

Everything inside her was suddenly wound tight as a knot. “Then there’s no need for you to stay.” Through some miracle, her tone was steady.

“Nonsense. I’ll see you on your way.”

“What if someone recognizes you?”

A ghost of a smile crossed his lips. “I wear a mask, remember?”

“I don’t want you here,” she said stiffly.

His smile withered. The air was suddenly leap
ing with currents.

His head came around. His gaze pierced her to the quick. “As you wish then.”

Standing here with him was agony. There was a terrible, awful weight in her chest. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and never let go. Never in this world. Never in this life.

Her emotions betrayed her. Her
heart
betrayed
her. Fate had brought them together. But it was something else that had made her stay. As much as she adored her family, she had felt closer to Dane than anyone in the world. It wasn’t just the physical intimacy; it was more. So much more. When it was just the two of them, alone in the cottage, life seemed so simple.

For so long now, on the outside she had been laughing and carefree, lively and vivacious. But inside, there was a void. There was something missing from her life, and now she knew what it was...him. This man. She was oddly reluctant to go back to the sameness of her dull, dreary life. But he left her no choice.

She could hardly enter into a life of lawlessness with him. She couldn’t change what she was... and he
would
not.

If only she could stay. If only he would
stop
...

The situation was impossible.

A wrenching silence erupted. She willed herself to go numb. It was the only way she could stand to look at him.

Oh, God. Why did he linger? Why didn’t he just go?

He was staring at her intently. “Julianna,” he said, “you cannot reveal our acquaintance. You can’t tell anyone what happened. Where I am. If you do . . .” He left the rest unspoken.

So that was why...She was stung. She re
fused to meet his gaze. “I won’t tell.” Her tone was scarcely audible.

He remained still as a statue.

She swallowed painfully. “Please, just go.”