A Pinch of Ooh La La (16 page)

“What?” I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. “Who says we're living together? What are we talking about? I thought we were talking about dinner last night.”

“We were, but now we're not. I'm always here, Abbey. Most of my things are here. By definition we're living together.”

“You're not by definition helping me with my bills.”

“You want to know about me? Well, you should know I don't like doing things halfway. I'm either fully committed or not. And all of this”—he flung his hands around the room—“makes me uncomfortable.”

“Fine. I'm glad you're telling me. This is what I mean. We need to talk.”

“I'm trying to talk. I'm trying to tell you how I feel.”

“No one is forcing you to stay here every night.”

“I know that.”

“Then what the hell are you complaining about?”

“I'm not complaining. I'm trying to tell you—” He shook his head and shot out of bed. “Fuck it.”

“What's with you?”

I watched him go to the closet, where he knelt over his duffel bag. “I wasn't going to do this tonight. But whatever. If you want to know how I feel, I'm ready to show you how I feel.” He shoved his arm out as though handing me a wad of trash. “Here.”

“Here what?”

He opened his hand to reveal a small velvet box.

Uh.

“Take it.”

“No.”

“Abbey, take it.”

I was suddenly embarrassed, not to mention shocked. I wanted to rewind, reboot. Start over. “I don't want it.”

“Why not?”

“Because if that's what I think it is, I don't want it to be like this.”

“Abbey, I love you and you drive me crazy and I want to make a commitment to you. A proper commitment. You're the kind of woman a man marries.”

My eyes instantaneously filled with tears. But they weren't all joyful. My engagement wasn't supposed to be like this. My engagement was supposed to be YouTube-worthy, videoed with the sun setting while my fiancé sang an original song he'd composed just for me. Or there was supposed to be a funny surprise like when Pete, who couldn't sing at all, took the mike from my sister Dinah and sang for her before getting down on one knee. Or, hell, I'd take simple: a proposal at a romantic restaurant with everyone breaking into applause.
Anything but this.
We were practically fighting. Hell, we
were
fighting!

Samuel sat next to me on the bed.

“Don't cry, Abbey. I'm sorry. I love you.”

“But this isn't romantic.”

He laughed. “It can be. Open the box. Come on.” He gave me a nudge. “You know you want to.” He wiggled the box in front of my nose. “Open me,” he said, making his voice like a cartoon frog. “Open me. Peek inside.”

I reached for the box, but he pulled it away before I could take it.

“Sucker.”

When I smiled, he climbed off the bed and dropped to his knee. “Abbey Lincoln Ross, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” He slowly opened the box.

Rays shot out from the diamond and the room lit up. I stared down at that gorgeous ring and all my fears and doubts flew out the window.
Bye-bye!
I loved Samuel. I heard myself say, “Yes,” then repeated it. “Yes, I'll marry you.”

As he slipped the ring on my finger, I forgot all about our
discussion, his family, and Prophet Hada Hada What's His Name. I forgot it all.

I was engaged! And this time I'd stay engaged until I was married. Finally!

I saw the magic pixie dust and then Ella swooped down singing “Our Love Is Here to Stay.” She pressed her cheek to mine.
Look at that diamond! It's huge!

Out of Nowhere

T
wo weeks later, and I was watching men in tights leap and twirl across the stage at the Paramount Theatre. Bendrix had indeed brought Manuel as his date, but the guy kept dozing throughout the performance. Samuel wasn't much better; he leaned over and whispered that he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open, but he did his best. Besides, who cared? He'd given me an amazing engagement ring and I was ready to forgive him anything. Every now and then his head would dip, but then he'd clear his throat and sit up straight. Bailey and Joan were with us as well. As platinum supporters of the Oakland ballet, Rita and Doug received a bottle of champagne to enjoy during the performance, and we all sipped and reveled in our box seats.

The only problem of the evening, really, was that by intermission Manuel had fallen flat-out asleep and was snoring so loudly people were beginning to stare. Bendrix, embarrassed and livid, gave the mound of muscle sitting next to him a hard shake. After he'd whispered what appeared to be heated words in
Manuel's ear, they both stood up and we all rubbernecked until they disappeared.

Bendrix returned moments before the second half of the performance was to start, without Manuel. He sat down in a huff, straightening his suit while staring directly at the stage. When Bailey asked what had happened to his friend, he said, eyes still on the stage below, “He won't be returning.”

“Told you,” I whispered.

Bailey and I exchanged looks while trying not to laugh.

After the performance, Rita and Doug suggested dinner at a restaurant nearby. Slowly we made our way out of our seats. The wives led the way while Samuel, who was already busy on his phone, kept up the rear. I was teasing Bendrix about his muscleman when he stopped short, and I bumped into him from behind. “Hey—”

“He's here,” he said.

“Who's here?”

He kept his gaze on the vacating audience down below. I searched and searched the crowd until I saw him. I grabbed Bendrix by the arm. “Anthony!” I said. “It's Anthony!”

“Lower your voice, would you?”

“He can't hear me. Unless I shout.”

“Don't you dare.”

We both stood staring as we continued to inch our way to the aisle. Anthony, no surprise, was still gorgeous. When he laughed at something the woman he was talking to said, his smile shone up to the balcony, as beautiful as ever.

“What do you think he's doing here?” Bendrix whispered.

“The same thing you are,” I whispered in return. I noticed, then, dots of perspiration on his forehead. “Benny, are you're sweating?”

“It's hot,” he snapped.

I took a tissue from my purse and dabbed at his face.

“We need to get out of here before he sees us,” Bendrix said.

Bailey looked past Rita so she could catch his attention. “Bendrix! I think I see your Anthony!”

“
He's not
my
anything,” Bendrix replied. “And, yes, I know
.
Thank you.”

“Anthony's here?” asked Rita. “Where is he?”

Joan peered over the balcony. “Near the exit. See? Right there.”

“Don't draw attention,” Bendrix muttered. “I don't want him to know I'm here.”

“That's funny,” Bailey said. “You deal with life and death on a daily basis, but you can't face your ex. He looks good, too.
Damn.
”

“He does,” said Rita.

Doug looked up from his phone. “What's that?”

“Nothing, sweetheart. It's Bendrix's ex. He's here.”

“Terrific.” He went back to his phone.

Samuel, also lost in his phone, said, “Who are we talking about exactly?”

“Bendrix's ex is here,” I said.

“Ah,” he said, half-distracted. I'd told him enough about Anthony that he knew the story, but he didn't understand how excited I felt. Just seeing Anthony briefly made me realize how much I missed him. I wanted to catch his attention, but how? Yell down to him? Push through the crowd and meet him at the entrance? In the end, I knew my ideas were silly and I'd only embarrass myself, not to mention Bendrix. So I remained frozen, only to watch as Anthony exited the theater.

•   •   •

O
ver dinner, everyone toasted Samuel and me on our engagement. Rita went on about wedding plans until Doug told her she should let me eat in peace. Bendrix relaxed enough that he no
longer appeared ready to faint or bolt, even though I was certain he was still thinking about Anthony.

We left the restaurant sometime around eleven thirty. After Doug and Rita had walked off to their car, I heard a familiar laugh coming from somewhere behind me: part hyena, part machine gun, the kind of laugh that made you laugh yourself because it was so odd. I turned, knowing exactly whom I'd see.

Anthony rounded the corner with his head thrown back, while laughing into his phone. As soon as he saw me, his eyes widened and his smile grew, but then Bendrix turned and Anthony's steps faltered and he abruptly closed his mouth. He said to whoever was on the other end, “I've gotta go.”

Seeing him, Bendrix stared down at his feet, then watched a bicyclist pass as if he wished he could take the guy's bike and speed off.

Joan saved us from our descent into complete awkwardness by walking over and giving Anthony a hug. “Anthony, what a lovely surprise.” She peered up into his eyes while giving his chest a few firm pats. “You are just as handsome as ever, I see. Bailey, look at this. Look who's here.”

Anthony smiled, making sure to avoid eye contact with Bendrix and me. Bailey walked over. She wore a strappy top, a sequined skirt, and heels that made me wonder if they'd been designed by (s)hoes. “You do look good. Life treating you well?”

“Yes, Bailey. It's good to see you.”

“You, too. Really good. I won't lie, though. I saw you at the ballet.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, we all saw you. That one there didn't want us to say anything.”

She pointed at Bendrix, who quickly turned his head toward the street. She smiled up at Anthony. “Why you standing there
like that? Stop acting like you're not happy to see me and give me a hug.” They laughed and hugged.

I tapped her shoulder after giving them a moment.
My turn.
Anthony's face softened when our eyes met. He pulled me into his arms and we hugged for what felt like a good long time. “I've missed you,” he said.

“Me, too.”

He took a step back so he could look at me. “How have you been?”

That's when I shoved my left hand into his face.
Pow!
“I'm engaged, baby!”

“What?”

Joan said, “She's been telling so many people I'm surprised you haven't heard. I thought the entire city of Oakland knew by now.”

I turned and smirked.

“Miracles will never cease,” Anthony said. “Congratulations.” We hugged again.

Samuel was still preoccupied with his phone, but I dragged him over. “Samuel, this is Anthony.”

“Congratulations,” Anthony said, shaking his hand. “You've got yourself a very special woman.”

“Thanks, man. Don't I know it. Nice to meet you.”

Bendrix stood far enough away to imply he wanted nothing to do with the meet and greet we were enjoying. Anthony did the same and refused to look his way. He explained that he was having dinner with a friend just up the street, then told us a little about his Haiti trip. Bendrix had to be dealt with in one way or another, though, and since it looked like he definitely planned on playing the pouty child, Anthony finally broke from the group and stuck out his hand. “Bendrix.”

Bendrix's face remained impenetrable, but I knew under his
hard eyes that catching a whiff of Anthony's scent was rattling him to the core.

“How have you been?” Anthony asked.

“As if you care.”

Anthony withdrew his hand. “Really? You're going to play it like that?”

Bendrix cut his eyes.

“Bitterness only hurts the person who's bitter,” Anthony said.

“That's profound.”

Anthony clenched his jaw. “It was a mistake, Bendrix. Get over it. And you weren't perfect, either. You get a kick out of playing the victim.”

I heard Bailey go,
“Ooooh.”
I shot her a look over my shoulder and she closed her mouth.

The word
victim
hung in front of Bendrix's face. Anthony knew what using that word would mean. “Victim? Hardly.
You
chose to take things outside of our relationship. You chose to ruin what we had.”

Samuel stepped close to my ear. “Abbey, stop being nosy. We should let them have some privacy.”

“Yeah. You're right.” But I stayed put.

Bailey said, “Those two are in their own world, anyway. We may as well be invisible. They're just pickin' up as if no time has passed at all.”

True. It was unbelievable how they'd started right in. I'd wanted this to happen, but I hadn't expected them to exchange words right in the middle of downtown Oakland. I thought of stepping in and telling them they should go somewhere private—but I didn't. I was too shocked that all of it was happening in the first place. It was surreal.

Anthony pointed his finger toward the sidewalk. “I left the country feeling guilty, but I realized you were just as much at fault for the breakup as I was.”

“Oh, really? So I went behind your back and made out with another man.”

“No, but you stopped trying. You weren't involved in the relationship. You checked out.”

“Call it what you will, but I didn't cheat.”

“It was a kiss, Bendrix. I could've done a lot more.”

“Spare me.”

Samuel was suddenly standing in front of them, doing what we probably should've done minutes earlier. “Fellas, what do you say we cool down, take this discussion somewhere else?”

“Yes,” Joan said. “We've all eavesdropped long enough.”

Just as Bendrix and Anthony broke eye contact long enough to remember where they were, a police car swooped up alongside the restaurant and lights flashed. The officer on the passenger side rolled down his window. “Everything all right here?”

“Of course everything is all right!” Bailey shouted. “Don't we look all right to you? You blind or something?”

Have I mentioned yet how much Bailey disliked cops? Well, she tended to get a little angry around them. Every one of her sons—each of my older brothers—had been pulled over, ticketed, or somehow harassed at one time or another by a cop, and when Bailey was a teen, her father had spent time in jail after he'd been falsely accused of robbery.

Bendrix and I both went into action. Bendrix cautioned, “Bailey, let's calm down.”

“Yeah, Bailey, there's no need to shout,” I added.

Joan said under her breath, “This is turning into quite the evening.” She laughed lightly, as if she were having high tea with the queen. If Rita disliked Bailey's rather bold personality, Joan loved it.

Bailey marched over to the car in her skirt. Mind you, the cop in the passenger seat looked like Dizzy when he was a boy and didn't appear threatening in the least. The cop in the driver's
seat, on the other hand, was much older, with a world-weary expression that said he'd been on the job one too many years.

“Why did you need to stop? Tell me, Officer. Is it because you saw all these fine men out here talking with each other? What, you think they're in a
gang
?”

The young cop stared up at her as if not knowing what was going on. The older cop leaned over and said, “We're going to need you to step away from the car, ma'am.”

“I'm trying to make a point. Why did you need to stop?”

The cop in the passenger seat seemed dubious. “Someone called and said there was a disturbance.”

Bailey tried to make eye contact with the few people passing by, as if to catch the snitch in action. “Disturbance? How are three men talking on the street a disturbance?”

Samuel intervened by trying to pull her away. “Everything is fine, Officer.”

“Don't kowtow to the likes of them, Samuel. I'll have you both know that this man here is a lawyer and that one is a counselor and that young man is a doctor. There is no need for you all to be pulling over and checking in or whatever it is you're doing.” She shouted, “Racial profiling! Racial profiling in progress!”

Samuel tried to pull her away. “Bailey, you're going to get us arrested.
Calm down.
”

Anthony added, “Bailey, we're fine.”

“You're the problem right now,” said Bendrix.

Bailey looked at us all. “None of you see what's going on?”

“Bailey, it's late,” I said. “Let it be.”

By now a handful of people had stopped. One guy had out his phone and was filming. The older cop let his gaze land on Samuel. “She's all yours, man. Good luck.”

The cops drove off. Once they were gone, we all let out a collective sigh.

“Bailey, are you nuts?” I asked.

“They had no right!”

“You only helped to escalate the situation, Bailey,” said Anthony.

I noticed Bendrix staring at him. He swallowed and said, “Now that Bailey isn't going to jail, I should leave.”

“What about a drink?” I suggested. Bendrix and Anthony had been arguing, yes, but at least they'd been talking, and while it was clear that they were still angry, wasn't that a sign that they cared about each other? I took Anthony's arm, then Bendrix's. “Let's all get a drink! Calm our nerves.”

Bendrix removed my hand. “No. I'll talk to you later.” He said good-bye to Bailey and Joan and Samuel. He then turned, jaw clenched, and started up the street.

“Bendrix!” I called. “Don't leave.”

Anthony shook his head. “Let him go.” He then offered a brusque good-bye of his own. “Hope to see you again, Abbey.” He said good-bye to Samuel. “Nice meeting you.” He hugged Bailey and Joan, then headed in the opposite direction.